(set: $zap1 to true)<strong>Welcome to ZapChat!</strong>
(if: $zapped_ZapAli928 is false)[⚡️[[<tt>Zap Ali!
</tt>|ZapAli928]]](else:)[<tt>Ali is unavailable.</tt>
](if: $zapped_ZapJules928 is false)[⚡️[[<tt>Zap Jules!
</tt>|ZapJules928]]](else:)[<tt>Jules is unavailable.</tt>
](if: $zapped_ZapBen928 is false)[⚡️[[<tt>Zap Ben!
</tt>|ZapBen928]]](else:)[<tt>Ben is unavailable.</tt>]
(if: $mails1 is false)[[[Check your mail instead.|Mails928]]
](else:)[][[Put your phone away.|Wait]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $mails1 to true)(set: $MailOpened to true)<strong>Welcome to </strong>💌<strong>E-Zee Mail</strong>💌<strong>, the fast, fun, FRIENDLY mail app!</strong>
You make a mental note to download a new e-mail client before perusing your inbox.
(if: $mailed_Sabine1 is false)[💌[[<tt>SABINE TRÉMAUX: Your application is still pending.</tt>|MailAstronomica928]]
](else:)[💌<tt><strong>``*MAIL READ*`` </strong>SABINE TRÉMAUX: Your application is still pending.</tt>
](if: $mailed_Jo is false)[💌[[<tt>SAMANTHA TOWNSEND: Today...</tt>|MailJo928]]](else:)[💌<tt><strong>``*MAIL READ*`` </strong>SAMANTHA TOWNSEND: Today...</tt>]
(if: $zap1 is false)[[[Open ZapChat instead.|ZapChat928]]
](else:)[][[Put your phone away.|Wait]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $ZappedAliEver to true)(set: $zapped_ZapAli928 to true)It's 9:28. Ali will be at work by now, ZapChat open in the corner of his desktop. You write him a message.
⚡️[[<tt>Can't believe I'm missing the first ever casual Friday.</tt>|ZapChatAliCasualFriday928]]
⚡️[[<tt>I'm pretty sure the Budget Lodge Breakfast is actually an art installation.</tt>|ZapChatAliBreakfast928]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
It's 9:28. Jules should be here in two minutes, and you've never known her to be late. There's probably no need to Zap her.
⚡️[[<tt>Hey, everything alright? Let me know if you need help finding the place.</tt>|ZapChatJules928]]
[[Go back to the ZapChat Home Page.|ZapChat928]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $zapped_ZapBen928 to true)It's 9:28. Your brother is probably still at the house with your stepmother and the kids. You're nervous about seeing him, and wish you'd made more of an effort to talk to him since last Thursday. Hell, before last Thursday.
⚡️[[<tt>Hey, are you ok? Sorry I didn't message you sooner.</tt>|ZapChatBenGood1]]
⚡️[[<tt>So, what time will you be arriving?</tt>|ZapChatBenPlan928]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
The typing animation appears next to Ali's name almost immediately, and his reply appears seconds later.
⚡️<tt>You're not missing much. Overall the office T-shirt game is pretty weak. Debs is wearing a dress though. Who knew?</tt>
While you try to think of a witty reply, another message appears...
⚡️<tt>Is everything... ok?</tt>
You and Ali don't normally discuss personal things, so you hesitate before replying.
⚡️[[<tt>I'm sure that dress has some serious stat benefits. Don't start a battle without equipping a decent axe, and stock up on potions.</tt>|ZapChatAliBad928]]
⚡️[[<tt>I guess. It's weird to be back in Cliffport anyway, and today's only going to get weirder.</tt>|ZapChatAliGood1]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
The typing animation appears next to Ali's name almost immediately, and his reply appears seconds later.
⚡️<tt>Yeah, I've read some reviews. The Guardian described it as a searing attack on our nation's foreign policy.</tt>
Grinning, you write back.
⚡️[[<tt>I'd have to agree. The scrambled eggs are particularly sobering. #makeuthink </tt>|ZapChatAliEggJoke928]]
⚡️[[<tt>lol. How's the office?</tt>|ZapChatAliHowIsOffice928]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
⚡️<tt>I bet. Other than the eggs, is everything... ok?</tt>
You and Ali don't normally discuss personal things, so you hesitate before replying.
⚡️[[<tt>Nothing about this breakfast is ok.</tt>|ZapChatAliBad928]]
⚡️[[<tt>I guess. It's weird to be back in Cliffport anyway, and today's only going to get weirder.</tt>|ZapChatAliGood1]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
⚡️<tt>Casual Friday is a wash-out. I was looking forward to ranking everyone's T-shirts, but the entries are too depressing. Debs is wearing a dress though. Who knew?</tt>
While you try to think of a witty reply, another message appears...
⚡️<tt>Is everything... ok?</tt>
You and Ali don't normally discuss personal things, so you hesitate before replying.
⚡️[[<tt>I'm sure that dress has some serious stat benefits. Don't start a battle without equipping a decent blaster, and stock up on med kits.</tt>|ZapChatAliBad928]]
⚡️[[<tt>I guess. It's weird to be back in Cliffport anyway, and today's only going to get weirder.</tt>|ZapChatAliGood1]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
You put your phone back in your bag, but not before checking the time. Jules is now 5 minutes late, which isn't like her. You consider the possibility that she isn't coming, but dismiss the idea. That would be even <em>less</em> like her, because...
[[...she'd never let you down.|JulesArriveGood]]
[[...she just <em>has</em> to be perfect. All the time.|JulesArriveBad]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Jules_Good to $Jules_Good + 1)As if summoned by your thoughts, Jules' car rolls into the Budget Lodge car park. You experience a rush of nostalgia at the sight of the chipped purple paint, the racing stripes, and the spoiler.
Grabbing your bag, you rush out to greet Jules.
[["I didn't know you'd be bringing the Spacebug!"|MeetJulesGood]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Jules_Good to $Jules_Good - 1)Right on cue, Jules' car rolls into the Budget Lodge car park.
You try and play it cool as you hoist your bag onto your shoulder and walk over to the car, but you haven't seen the chipped purple paint of the Spacebug for years, and the nostalgia hits you hard.
[["You brought <em>that</em> car?"|MeetJulesGood]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Ali_Good to $Ali_Good + 1)Ali's reply is instant.
⚡️<tt>Yeah, I bet. Stay strong.</tt>
Despite how nervous you feel, you can't help smiling at the screen. You're about to say thanks when another message appears.
⚡️<tt>Sorry, got to go. Debs is on the prowl. ``*casts invisibility*``</tt>
A notification immediately appears in the window.
<tt>This user is unavailable.</tt>
[[Go back to the ZapChat home page.|ZapChat928]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $zapped_ZapJules928 to true)Unsuprisingly, an automated reply appears as soon as the message is sent.
<tt>This user is unavailable.</tt>
[[Go back to the ZapChat Home Page.|ZapChat928]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Ben_Good to $Ben_Good + 1)Even though you don't often message each other, Ben's reply appears almost immediately.
⚡️<tt>Not really, but that's to be expected. Today's about everyone coming together, and it's important. I'll be ok eventually. Don't worry about not getting in touch before, I understand.</tt>
You're taken aback by his candour.
⚡️[[<tt>Thanks. Sometimes I feel like you're my older brother, not my little one.</tt>|ZapChatBenCompliment928]]
⚡️[[<tt>Thanks, I appreciate it. How is Sam, by the way?</tt>|ZapChatBenJo928]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Ben11 to true)(if: $BenCompliment is true)[His reply appears immediately.](else:)[Even though you don't often message your brother, Ben's reply appears almost immediately.]
⚡️<tt>10am. I want to be there well in advance in case anyone shows up early.</tt>
Geez, you think. He's so responsible.
⚡️[[<tt>I guess I'll be there at 11. See you there.</tt>|ZapChatBenBye928]]
⚡️[[<tt>I'll be there at 11... How's Sam?</tt>|ZapChatBenJo928]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $BenCompliment to true)⚡️<tt>I never feel that way 😕</tt>
You are gripped with the urge to ask him how he <em>does</em> feel about your relationship, but now's not the time.
⚡️[[<tt>So, what time will you be arriving?</tt>|ZapChatBenPlan928]]
⚡️[[<tt>How's Sam?</tt>|ZapChatBenJo928]]
⚡️[[<tt>See you later.</tt>|ZapChatBenBye928]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
⚡️<tt>Like you'd imagine. She's got a lot of friends, but this is still really hard.</tt> (if: $Sent_Nasty_Mail_Jo is true)[<tt>Oh, and she got your mail by the way... Might be an idea to apologise when you see her. Even if you don't mean it.</tt>](else:)[]
You try to imagine your sharp-edged stepmother as a vulnerable widow, but you just can't do it. It's yet another aspect of this day that feels unreal.
⚡️[[<tt>I guess she is having a pretty rough time. Tell her I'm thinking of her.</tt>|ZapChatJoGood928]]
⚡️[[<tt>I still find it pretty hard to feel sympathy for her.|ZapChatJoBad928]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Jo_Good to $Jo_Good + 1)⚡️<tt>Sure, I will. Look, I've got to go, Sam needs me. Thanks again for messaging.</tt>
A notification appears in the window.
<tt>This user is unavailable.</tt>
[[Go back to the ZapChat home page.|ZapChat928]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Jo_Good to $Jo_Good - 1)(set: $Ben_Good to $Ben_Good - 1)⚡️<tt>Give her a break. Look, I've got to go, thanks again for messaging.</tt>
A notification appears in the window.
<tt>This user is unavailable.</tt>
[[Go back to the ZapChat home page.|ZapChat928]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
⚡️<tt>Ok. I've got to go, Sam needs me. Thanks again for messaging.</tt>
You briefly wonder how your stepmother is feeling, but quickly shake the thought from your mind.
A notification appears in the window.
<tt>This user is unavailable.</tt>
[[Go back to the ZapChat home page.|ZapChat928]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $mailed_Sabine1 to true)<tt>Dear Applicant,
I am writing to inform you that your application for the post of Junior Character Artist is still pending. To submit your application, please complete the form on the Careers space on our website.
Please be aware that the deadline for applications for this role is 18:00 today.
Kind Regards,
Sabine Trémaux
Artistic Director
Astronomica Studios
</tt>
Your stomach tenses. Although your application is almost complete, you still need to finish the personal statement. Even then, you don't know if your portfolio is good enough.
[[View your application.|AstronomicaApplication928]]
[[Return to your inbox. You can finish your application later.|Mails928]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $mailed_Jo to true)<tt>Hi,
Just checking you're still coming today, given you haven't been in touch since Thursday. Please let me know otherwise I'll have to let Father Paul know you won't be delivering your eulogy after all.
It would have been great if you'd stayed here last night, especially for Elsie and Nicholas, but I guess you have your reasons for not wanting to spend any more time with them than you have to.
Sam</tt>
You're amazed - almost impressed - that even at a time like this, your stepmother still summons the energy to compose a mail... like that. Still, you know she's going through a very difficult time.
[[Let her know you don't appreciate her tone.|ReplyJoBad928]]
[[Take a deep breath and compose a polite reply.|ReplyJoGood928]]
[[Don't reply. That's an empty threat anyway.|Mails928]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $ApplicationAtAll to true)(set: $PortfolioCheck to true)(set: $ApplicationLooked928 to true)(set: $ApplicationLooked to true)(if: $CareerLogin is true)[The Careers page looks like an Astronomica Fleet recruitment console. Trying not to be distracted by the clever visual references to the Fleet, you focus on your application.](else:)[Even on your old phone, the Astronomica website looks great, having been designed to look like one of the in-game computers. You log into the Careers section to review your application.]
(if: $PortfolioLooked928 is false)[[[You scroll through your portfolio.|AstronomicaPortfolio928]]](else:)[You've already looked through your portfolio...]
(if: $StatementLooked928 is false)[[[You review your personal statement.|AstronomicaStatement928]]](else:)[You've already looked at your personal statement...]
[[There'll be time to finish your application later today. Return to your inbox.|Mails928]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
Your hands shake as you type.
<tt>Hi Sam,
How's the view from the moral high ground?
I'm afraid I <em>am</em> still coming today, so no need to change any plans.
See you later.</tt>
Your trembling finger hovers over the "Send" button. You don't really want to send this, today of all days... do you?
[[Sure I do.|SendJoBad928]]
[[I guess not.|DeleteJoGood928]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $eulogy to true)(set: $JoNiceMail to true)(set: $Jo_Good to $Jo_Good + 1)<tt>Hi Sam,
Sorry I haven't been in touch, I've just been finding it all really hard. No excuse - you don't need extra stress.
I'll be there, and I'd still like to give the eulogy.
See you later.</tt>
You feel lighter after sending the mail.
[[Return to your inbox.|Mails928]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $CareerLogin to true)(set: $PortfolioAtAll to true)(set: $PortfolioLooked928 to true)Your artwork takes a while to load over Budget Lodge's spotty Wi-Fi, but when it does...
[[...your heart sinks at the sight of your illustrations.|AstronomicaPortfolioSad928]]
[[...you think your designs look pretty good.|AstronomicaPortfolioHappy928]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $CareerLogin to true)(set: $StatementAtAll to true)(set: $StatementLooked928 to true)The empty field taunts you, the cursor flashing in the top right hand corner.
Sighing, you begin to type...
[[<tt>"I've been a devoted Astronomica player for four years, but it's only now that I'm ready to join the development team..."</tt>|PersonalStatementGood928]]
[[<tt>"Even though my art style probably isn't what you're looking for..."</tt>|PersonalStatementBad928]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Art_Good to $Art_Good - 1)You don't know why you ever thought you could do this. Your characters are awkward-looking, and you've been over-zealous with the photoshop.
You imagine that Sabine will take one look at these and not even bother to read the Personal Statement.
[[Return to the Careers page.|AstronomicaApplication928]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Art_Good to $Art_Good + 1)You weren't sure when you uploaded them, but now you realise that the images in your portfolio are pretty cool. Your characters are weird in an unusual, interesting way, and you've put your Photoshop skills to good use, making the images look other-worldly.
You hope Sabine will agree, but even if she doesn't, you've done your best.
[[Return to the Careers page.|AstronomicaApplication928]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $StatementDraft to true)(set: $Art_Good to $Art_Good + 1)(set: $Personal_Statement to true)(set: $StatementWritten to true)<tt>"...I've studied the evolution of the Astronomica art style since I began playing, and am excited about the recent move to a more bio-mechanical aesthetic. As you can see from my portfolio, it's something I'm keen to help the team develop.
While I do not have any formal artistic qualifications, I have worked hard to improve my design and technical skills alongside full-time work, and would relish the opportunity to discuss them with you further."</tt>
That doesn't look too bad, you think. Sabine might even flick through the rest of the application after she's read it.
[[Return to the Careers page.|AstronomicaApplication928]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
You wait for Ali's reply, but instead of the typing animation, a notification appears in the window.
<tt>This user is unavailable.</tt>
Damn, you think. Debs must be on the prowl.
[[Go back to the ZapChat home page.|ZapChat928]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
"Yeah," Jules replies. "I thought about hiring a car but it seemed excessive when this was still at Mum's. I'm sorry, I know it's not really appropriate for a funeral."
[["No, it's great to see it again... and you, of course... You look great, by the way..."|CarLove]]
[["It's fine... just weird to see it again."|CarHate]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
Jules raises an eyebrow slightly, and then speaks. "Are you ok?"
[["Sure, why wouldn't I be?"|JulesDenial]]
[["I'm a mess, to be honest."|JulesHonest]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
She grimaces. "I know, I'm sorry. How are you, anyway?"
[["Fine, why wouldn't I be?"|JulesDenial]]
[["I'm a mess, to be honest."|JulesHonest]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Jules_Good to $Jules_Good - 1)(set: $Dad_Good to $Dad_Good - 1)"I can't even tell if you're kidding."
You get into the Spacebug, which still has psychedelic blankets on the seats and a mismatched family of alien bobbleheads on the dashboard. As you poke the little plastic heads, making them wobble, Jules speaks. "Look, I know I'm slightly late to pick you up - car trouble, obviously - but we left loads of time. If you want, we can grab a coffee on the way?"
[["Sure, I'd like that."|JulesCoffee]]
[["Thanks, but I'd rather get there early and meet up with Ben."|JulesBen]]
[["You don't have to pretend to be nice, you know, no-one's watching."|JulesRude]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Dad_Good to $Dad_Good + 1)(set: $Jules_Good to $Jules_Good + 1)"Anyone would be," she says, giving you a kind smile.
You get into the Spacebug, which still has psychedelic blankets on the seats and a mismatched family of alien bobbleheads on the dashboard.
You're about to ask Jules what happened to the X-Wing that used to hang from the rear view mirror, when she speaks. "Look, I know I'm slightly late to pick you up - car trouble, obviously - but we left loads of time. If you want, we can grab a coffee on the way?"
[["Sure, I'd like that."|JulesCoffee]]
[["Thanks, but I'd rather get there early and meet up with Ben."|JulesBen]]
[["You don't have to pretend to be nice, you know, no-one's watching."|JulesRude]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $JulesCoffee to true)"Ok. Believe it or not, there's a sci-fi-themed coffee shop that I passed on my way over here. It's called the, uh, 'Cylon Café'. It's not really appropriate, considering... but who cares, right?"
You give a quiet laugh of acquiescence.
Jules puts the Spacebug in gear. "Alright, let's get us a couple of Laser Spice Lattes."
[[As Budget Lodge disappears out of the rear windscreen, you wonder if you'll ever be back.|BudgetLodgeBye]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Ben_Good to $Ben_Good + 1)(set: $BenMeet to true)"Of course," she says, putting the Spacebug in gear. "We'll head straight there."
[[As Budget Lodge disappears out of the rear windscreen, you wonder if you'll ever be back.|BudgetLodgeBye]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Jules_Good to $Jules_Good - 1)(set: $FuneralDirect to true)"I wasn't pretending," she says. "You know, if you... Oh, never mind." She puts the Spacebug in gear and you drive off.
[[As Budget Lodge disappears out of the rear windscreen, you wonder if you'll ever be back.|BudgetLodgeBye]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
It's unnerving to be driving through Cliffport after all this time. Very little has changed since you were a teenager, and you can almost imagine that it's like old times, you and Jules blasting off on an adventure in the Spacebug.
But it's not like old times. Eager for a distraction, you...
[[...get out your phone.|CarPhone935]]
[[...see if Jules has any CDs.|CarCDs]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $PhoneCar to true)(if: $ApplicationLooked935 is false)[You gaze affectionately at the photo of the Sputnik satellite on your home screen before focussing on the icons floating over the top of it. (if: $ApplicationLooked is false)[You've got time to check your Zaps and mails, and work on your application for the Junior Character Artist position at Astronomica Studios.](else:)[]
(if: $CarZapChat935 is false)[[[Open ZapChat.|ZapChat935]]](else:)[...you've already checked ZapChat.]
(if: $CarMail935 is false)[[[View your mails.|Mails935]]](else:)[...you've already checked your mails.]
(if: $ApplicationLooked935 is false)[[[Work on your Astronomica application.|AstronomicaApplication935]]](else:)[...you've already looked at your Astronomica application.](if: $MusicCar is false)[
[[Stop looking at your phone and put on some music instead.|CarCDs]]](else:)[]](else:)[The interior of the Spacebug goes dark as a canopy of trees blocks out the sky, but the phone screen glows brightly in your lap.
(if: $CarZapChat935 is false)[[[Open ZapChat.|ZapChat935]]](else:)[...you've already checked ZapChat.]
(if: $CarMail935 is false)[[[View your mails.|Mails935]]](else:)[...you've already checked your mails.]
(if: $ApplicationLooked935 is false)[[[Work on your Astronomica application.|AstronomicaApplication935]]](else:)[...you've already looked at your Astronomica application.](if: $MusicCar is false)[
[[Put on some music instead.|CarCDs]]](else:)[]]
(if: $JulesCoffee is true)[[[Look out of the window for the remainder of the journey to the Cylon Café.|CylonCafe]]](else:)[](if: $BenMeet is true)[[[Look out of the window for the remainder of the journey to see Ben.|ChurchBen]]](else:)[](if: $FuneralDirect is true)[[[Look out of the window for the remainder of the journey to the church.|ChurchStop]]](else:)[]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $MusicCar to true)You open the glove compartment, and a large number of jewel cases clatter onto your lap. Jules tuts from the driver's seat. "I'm sorry," you say, trying to shovel them back in. "I didn't realise you'd still have so many of these."
"Nor did I. I guess they've been in here since I left home."
Looking at the covers is like going back in time. Your eye fixes on...
[["The Fellowship of the Ring: Official Soundtrack"|Fellowship]]
[["Intergalactic Mix", a compilation CD you made for Jules.|CompilationCD]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $PortfolioAtAll to true)You certainly do have a vivid imagination. Your character designs are almost psychedelic, and the colours are swirling. Just like your stomach.
[[It's really not a good idea to do this now.|CarPhone935]]
[[You'll be fine!|Vom]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
<em>The astronaut's teeth rattled as the command module hurtled back into the atmosphere, flames just visible through the tiny window. Hoping the heat shield would hold, the module's lone passenger, exhausted from the voyage, tried not to think about what was waiting back on Earth...</em>
You try reading the chapter for the fourth time, but it's no good. After the first couple of sentences, your eyes start to slide over the words, and once again you reach the end of the page no closer to knowing whether the explorer was able to overcome the effects of time dilation and re-adjust to life on their home planet.
Defeated, you reach for your phone. You've got time to check both ZapChat and your mails before Jules arrives.
[[Open ZapChat.|ZapChat928]]
[[Check your mails.|Mails928]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $mailed_Sabine1 to false)(set: $mailed_Sabine2 to false)(set: $mailed_Jo to false)(set: $mailed_Astronomica to false)
(set: $StatementWritten to false)
(set: $OutSideChurch to false)
(set: $Ali_Good to 0)(set: $Jules_Good to 0)(set: $Ben_Good to 0)(set: $Jo_Good to 0)(set: $Dad_Good to 0)(set: $Art_Good to 0)
(set: $zapped_ZapAli928 to false)(set: $zapped_ZapJules928 to false)(set: $zapped_ZapBen928 to false)
(set: $mailed_Sabine928 to false)(set: $mailed_Jo928 to false)
(set: $mailed_Astronomica935 to false)
(set: $PortfolioLooked928 to false)(set: $StatementLooked928 to false)(set: $ApplicationLooked928 to false)
(set: $ApplicationLooked to false)
(set: $CarSick to false)
(set: $zapped_ZapAli935 to false)
(set: $Sent_Nasty_Mail_Jo to false)
(set: $Personal_Statement to false)
(set: $JulesCoffee to false)(set: $BenMeet to false)(set: $FuneralDirect to false)
(set: $MailOpened to false)
(set: $Sent_Nasty_Mail_Jo to false)
(set: $mailed_Jo to false)
(set: $mailed_Anniversary935 to false)
(set: $ApplicationLooked935 to false)
(set: $mailed_Astronomica to false)
(set: $mailed_Astronomica1100 to false)
(set: $mailed_Anniversary to false)
(set: $LaserSpice to false)
(set: $beer to false)
(set: $high to false)
(set: $window to false)
(set: $Ben11 to false)
(set: $zapped_ZapBen1030 to false)
(set: $JoNiceMail to false)
(set: $eulogy to false)
(set: $zapped_ZapAli1100 to false)
(set: $mailed_Sabine1100 to false)
(set: $JoBadPub to false)
(set: $JoGoodPub to false)
(set: $PortfolioCheck to false)
(set: $AliChatLeave to false)
(set: $MusicCar to false)
(set: $PhoneCar to false)
(set: $ZappedAliEver to false)
(set: $ConsiderHigh to false)
(set: $CliffReturn to false)
(set: $wet to false)
(set: $eulogyno to false)
(set: $ApplicationAtAll to false)
(set: $PortfolioAtAll to false)
(set: $StatementAtAll to false)
(set: $StatementDraft to false)
(set: $PortfolioFinal to false)
(set: $StatementFinal to false)
(set: $Derrick to false)
(set: $Eulogy_Good to 0)
(set: $DidEulogy to false)
(set: $JulesWake to false)
(set: $SamWake to false)
(set: $BenWake to false)
(set: $ApplicationWake to false)
(set: $ZapAliWake to false)
(set: $mail300 to false)
(set: $zap300 to false)
(set: $zapped_ZapAli300 to false)
(set: $AliNight to false)
(set: $AppDelete to false)
(set: $AppSubmit to false)
(set: $SamHug to false)
(set: $Jules_Hug to false)
(set: $Ben_Hug to false)
(set: $SabineFollowUp to false)
(set: $mails1 to false)
(set: $zap1 to false)
(set: $CareerLogin to false)
(set: $BenCompliment to false)
(set: $CarZapChat935 to false)
(set: $CarMail935 to false)
(set: $DrinkWater to false)
(set: $Zap1100 to false)
(set: $mail1100 to false)
(set: $PhoneWakeCheck to false)
(set: $eulogy to true)(set: $Sent_Nasty_Mail_Jo to true)(set: $Jo_Good to $Jo_Good - 1)Your cheeks flushed, you hit "Send", ensuring that it'll pop up on Sam's phone in a matter of moments. Serves her right.
Right?
[[Return to your inbox.|Mails928]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
You hit "Delete", and the mail vanishes into the ether. Probably for the best.
[[Return to your inbox.|Mails928]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Art_Good to $Art_Good - 1)<tt>"...I thought I'd send my portfolio in anyway. It's not like it's getting any interest on DeviantArt.
I don't have any formal qualifications, but I am totally desperate and this is absolutely my last opportunity to do anything other than data entry so please, please, please, give me a job..."</tt>
You laugh humourlessly to yourself as you delete everything you've just written. It was cathartic to type what you really felt, even though you wouldn't actually send it. Probably.
[[Return to the Careers page.|AstronomicaApplication928]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
The cover of "Intergalactic Mix" features a drawing you did of Jules in a spacesuit, but instead of metal or rubber, it looks like it's made out of fish scales. This would have been around Jules' aquatic phase, you realise.
[[You're taken aback by the originality and quality of the drawing.|JulesDrawingGood]]
[[The drawing style is adolescent and over-stylised.|JulesDrawingBad]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
"This seems oddly appropriate," you say, picking up the CD. It's so old that Frodo's face is warped - the sleeve notes must have got damp at some point. "I always identified with Frodo."
Jules grins. "If you're Frodo, who am I?"
[["Sam, obviously."|"JulesSam"]]
[["The Shire."|"JulesShire"]]
[["The Ring."|"JulesRing"]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
"Sam?" Jules is seemingly affronted. "Because I'm your sidekick?
[["Because I know you'll save me in the end."|JulesSamWeird]]
[["Because you're so loyal."|JulesLoyal]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
Jules wrinkles her nose. "Surely you remember that the Shire is a place, not a person."
[["Yeah, but Frodo still loves it."|JulesShireBad]]
[["It made Frodo who he is, and gives him the strength to keep going... even though in the end he knows he can never return."|JulesShireGood]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
"You want to destroy me? Can you at least wait until I've finished giving you a lift?"
[["Kidding."|JulesRingNeutral]]
[["I can't let go of you."|JulesRingBad]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Jules_Good to $Jules_Good - 1)Jules goes back to concentrating on the road, muttering "You can't rely on me any more."
[[Pick up "Intergalactic Mix" instead.|CompilationCD]]
(if: $PhoneCar is false)[[[Get out your phone.|CarPhone935]]
](else:)[][[Put on the soundtrack and concentrate on the music for the rest of the journey.|CD_Fellowship]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Jules_Good to $Jules_Good + 1)"Against my better judgement," mutters Jules, but she smiles as she says it.
[[Pick up "Intergalactic Mix" instead.|CompilationCD]]
(if: $PhoneCar is false)[[[Get out your phone.|CarPhone935]]
](else:)[][[Put on the soundtrack and concentrate on the music for the rest of the journey.|CD_Fellowship]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Jules_Good to $Jules_Good - 1)"Come on, now is really not the time," says Jules, crossly.
[[Pick up "Intergalactic Mix" instead.|CompilationCD]]
(if: $PhoneCar is false)[[[Get out your phone.|CarPhone935]]
](else:)[][[Put on the soundtrack and concentrate on the music for the rest of the journey.|CD_Fellowship]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Jules_Good to $Jules_Good + 1)Jules doesn't say anything, but her face betrays a soft, sad smile.
[[Pick up "Intergalactic Mix" instead.|CompilationCD]]
(if: $PhoneCar is false)[[[Get out your phone.|CarPhone935]]
](else:)[][[Put on the soundtrack and concentrate on the music for the rest of the journey.|CD_Fellowship]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
"You'd better be," she replies, testily.
[[Pick up "Intergalactic Mix" instead.|CompilationCD]]
(if: $PhoneCar is false)[[[Get out your phone.|CarPhone935]]
](else:)[][[Put on the soundtrack and concentrate on the music for the rest of the journey.|CD_Fellowship]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Jules_Good to $Jules_Good - 1)"It's not really appropriate to make jokes like that on a day like this," she says, eyes fixed on the road.
You're not sure you were joking.
[[Pick up "Intergalactic Mix" instead.|CompilationCD]]
(if: $PhoneCar is false)[[[Get out your phone.|CarPhone935]]
](else:)[][[Put on the soundtrack and concentrate on the music for the rest of the journey.|CD_Fellowship]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Art_Good to $Art_Good + 1)You open the sleeve notes to see if there are any more drawings inside, and catch sight of the tracklisting. The first song is The Only Ones' "Another Girl, Another Planet", which carries great significance for you and Jules. It'll be awkward if the track plays, so you decide to skip it, managing to do so without Jules noticing.
The next track is Babylon Zoo's "Spaceman", and Jules grins as it fills the car. The absurdity of the song makes the strangeness of the day easier to bear.
(if: $PhoneCar is false)[[[Get out your phone.|CarPhone935]]
](else:)[](if: $JulesCoffee is true)[[[Focus on the music for the rest of the journey to the Cylon Café.|CylonCafe]]](else:)[](if: $BenMeet is true)[[[Focus on the music for the rest of the journey to meet Ben at the Church.|ChurchBen]]](else:)[](if: $FuneralDirect is true)[[[Focus on the music for the rest of the journey to the church.|ChurchStop]]](else:)[]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Art_Good to $Art_Good - 1)Embarassed, you shove the jewel case back in the glove compartment without reading the sleeve notes, and jam the disc in the CD player.
You wish you <em>had</em> read the sleeve notes, because the first track is "Another Girl, Another Planet" by the Only Ones. Nostalgia hits you like a bucket of cold water, and Jules looks alarmed as the opening chords fill the Spacebug.
[[Leave the track playing.|IntergalacticBad]]
[[Aaargh, skip it!|IntergalacticNeutral]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Jules_Good to $Jules_Good - 1)You decide it would be more awkward to draw attention to the track by skipping it than to leave it playing, but Jules doesn't agree.
"Turn that off," she says. "It's weird enough being back in Cliffport - in the Spacebug! - without having to listen to that too."
(if: $PhoneCar is false)[[[Turn off the music and get out your phone.|CarPhone935]]
](else:)[](if: $JulesCoffee is true)[[[Eject the disk and sit in silence for the remainder of the journey to the Cylon Café.|CylonCafe]]](else:)[](if: $BenMeet is true)[[[Eject the disk and sit in silence for the remainder of the journey to meet Ben at the church.|ChurchBen]]](else:)[](if: $FuneralDirect is true)[[[Eject the disk and sit in silence for the remainder of the journey to the church.|ChurchStop]]](else:)[]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(if: $JulesCoffee is true)[You stare out of the window for the remainder of the drive towards Cliffport's dilapidated shopping district.
[[You hope you made the right choice to get coffee with Jules.|CylonCafe]]](else:)[](if: $BenMeet is true)[You sit in silence as the car leaves Cliffport's centre and heads for the hills where you used to live.
[[You hope you made the right choice to see Ben before the funeral.|ChurchBen]]](else:)[](if: $FuneralDirect is true)[You sit in silence as the car leaves Cliffport's centre and heads for the hills where you used to live.
[[You wonder if you should have made time for Jules or Ben before the funeral.|ChurchStop]]](else:)[]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
You immediately skip the track, and feel Jules relax beside you. No other tracks on "Intergalactic Mix" carry such significance for the two of you.
(if: $PhoneCar is false)[[[Get out your phone.|CarPhone935]]
](else:)[](if: $JulesCoffee is true)[[[Concentrate on the music for the rest of the journey to the Cylon Café.|CylonCafe]]](else:)[](if: $BenMeet is true)[[[Concentrate on the music for the rest of the journey to meet Ben.|ChurchBen]]](else:)[](if: $FuneralDirect is true)[[[Concentrate on the music for the rest of the journey to the church.|ChurchStop]]](else:)[]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
The Cylon Café is on a scruffy street between a tattoo parlour and a thrift shop. You and Jules used to come to this street to drink when you were first going out.
Jules wrestles the Spacebug into a tiny space opposite the Cylon Café, and yanks up the handbrake with a metallic crunch. As you clamber out of the tiny car, your eyes rest on the garish purple sign ahead. The words "Cylon Café" are airbrushed in the font from the erotic sci-fi film <em>Heavy Metal</em> and you grin sligtly, remembering the time you and Jules got high and watched it togther.
[[Best not to mention that...|NoHeavyMetal]]
[["Hey Jules, remember the time we got high and watched <em>Heavy Metal</em>?"|HeavyMetal]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
As the Spacebug approaches the church, your phone vibrates. You look at the screen, and there's a single ZapChat notification.
<strong>Welcome to ZapChat!</strong>
<tt>Ali is unavailable.</tt>
<tt>Jules is unavailable.</tt>
⚡️[[<tt>Ben zapped you!</tt>|ZapBen1030]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
The wind has picked up as you leave the Cylon Café, and it looks like it's going to rain.
As you get into the Spacebug next to Jules, she gives you a strange look. You hold her gaze for a moment, wondering if she knows what you were planning to do, but then she gives an almost imperceptible shrug and starts the engine.
[[Sit in silence for the duration of the drive to the church.|Church]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $CarZapChat935 to true)<strong>Welcome to ZapChat!</strong>
(if: $zapped_ZapAli935 is false)[⚡️[[<tt>Zap Ali!</tt>|ZapAli935]]
](else:)[<tt>Ali is unavailable.</tt>
]<tt>Jules is unavailable.</tt>
<tt>Ben is unavailable.</tt>
[[Go back to your phone's home screen.|CarPhone935]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $CarMail935 to true)<strong>Welcome to </strong>💌<strong>E-Zee Mail</strong>💌<strong>, the fast, fun, FRIENDLY mail app!</strong>
(if: $MailOpened is false)[You make a mental note to download a new e-mail client before perusing your inbox.
](else:)[](if: $mailed_Sabine1 is false)[💌[[<tt>SABINE TRÉMAUX: Your application is still pending.</tt>|MailAstronomica935]]
](else:)[💌<tt><strong>``*MAIL READ*`` </strong>SABINE TRÉMAUX: Your application is still pending.</tt>
](if: $mailed_Jo is false)[💌[[<tt>SAMANTHA TOWNSEND: Today...</tt>|MailJo935]]
](else:)[💌<tt><strong>``*MAIL READ*`` </strong>SAMANTHA TOWNSEND: Today...</tt>
](if: $mailed_Astronomica is false)[💌[[<tt>ASTRONOMICA: Congratulations on your four-year anniversary!</tt>|MailAnniversary935]]](else:)[💌<tt><strong>``*MAIL READ*`` </strong>ASTRONOMICA: Congratulations on your four-year anniversary</tt>]
[[Go back to your phone's home screen.|CarPhone935]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $mailed_Sabine1 to true)<tt>Dear Applicant,
I am writing to inform you that your application for the post of Junior Character Artist is still pending. To submit your application, please complete the form on the Careers space on our website.
Please be aware that the deadline for applications for this role is 18:00 today.
Kind Regards,
Sabine Trémaux
Artistic Director
Astronomica Studios
</tt>
(if: $ApplicationLooked935 is false)[Your stomach tenses. Although your application is almost complete, you still need to finish the personal statement. Even then, you don't know if your portfolio is good enough.
[[View your application.|AstronomicaApplication935]]](else:)[Your stomach tenses. You don't want to think about the application again.]
[[Return to your inbox. You can finish your application later.|Mails935]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $ZappedAliEver to true)(set: $zapped_ZapAli935 to true)You know you shouldn't really bother Ali when he's working, but if you were in the office you'd already have exchanged at least five snarky Zaps by this time in the morning. It won't hurt.
⚡️[[<tt>My home town is like the set of a dystopian horror movie.</tt>|ZapAli935Dystopia]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $CarSick to true)Feeling a little queasy, you...
(if: $PortfolioLooked928 is false)[[[...scroll through your portfolio.|AstronomicaPortfolio935]]
](else:)[](if: $StatementLooked928 is false)[[[...try to write your personal statement.|AstronomicaStatement935]]](else:)[[[...take another look at your personal statement.|AstronomicaStatement935]]]
[[...resolve to do this later. It's really not worth making yourself sick.|CarPhone935]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Jules_Good to $Jules_Good - 1)(set: $Art_Good to $Art_Good - 1)The nausea is rising, and you realise almost too late what's about to happen.
"Pull over," you yell, and Jules cuts across two lanes of traffic so you're just in time to tumble out of the Spacebug onto the kerb. She looks distinctly unimpressed as you stagger back to the car.
Thrusting your phone back in your pocket, you resolve to keep your eyes fixed on the horizon from now on.
(if: $MusicCar is false)[[[You wonder if some music might make you feel better.|CarCDs]]
](else:)[](if: $JulesCoffee is true)[[[Hoping you made the right choice to get coffee with Jules, you remain silent for the rest of the journey.|CylonCafe]]](else:)[](if: $BenMeet is true)[[[Hoping you made the right choice to see Ben before the funeral, you remain silent for the rest of the journey.|ChurchBen]]](else:)[](if: $FuneralDirect is true)[[[Wondering if you should have made time for Jules or Ben before the funeral, you remain silent for the rest of the journey.|ChurchStop]]](else:)[]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Art_Good to $Art_Good + 1)You make a mental note to prepare a list of your favourite Astronomica memories... just in case you make it to interview.
[[Return to your mails.|Mails935]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Art_Good to $Art_Good - 1)You feel hopeless.
[[Return to your mails.|Mails935]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
Ali can't be that busy, because his reply appears almost immediately.
⚡️<tt><em>Mad Max</em>?</tt>
⚡️[[<tt>I wish! Eh, I shouldn't be so down on it. There's a lot of history here.</tt>|ZapAli935DystopiaGood]]
⚡️[[<tt>More like <em>The Road</em>. I have no idea why anyone would stay in this dump.</tt>|ZapAli935DystopiaBad]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Ali_Good to $Ali_Good + 1)⚡️<tt>Aww, everyone's down on their hometown, don't worry about it. I'd like to see it some time. Road trip? 🚗💨?</tt>
⚡️[[<tt>Maybe... It's hard for me to think about anything beyond today, to be honest. Sorry to be lame.</tt>|ZapAli935RoadTripMaybe]]
⚡️[[<tt>You know, coming here with you might actually be fun. Ask me again in a few weeks, once I've got a clearer head.</tt>|ZapAli935RoadTripYes]]
⚡️[[<tt>Er, no thanks.</tt>|ZapAli935RoadTripNo]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Ali_Good to $Ali_Good - 1)⚡️<tt>Hey, everyone's different. Look, I have to go, but... if Viggo Mortensen shows up, tell him hi from me 😉</tt>
You frown. He'd understand if he'd grown up here.
[[Back to the ZapChat home page.|ZapChat935]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Ali_Good to $Ali_Good + 1)⚡️<tt>Sure, I understand. You're not lame. If you ever want to go though, just let me know.</tt>
You smile a little.
[[Back to the ZapChat home page.|ZapChat935]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Ali_Good to $Ali_Good + 1)⚡️<tt>You got it. I'll start working on a playlist 🙂</tt>
You smile a little.
[[Back to the ZapChat home page.|ZapChat935]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Ali_Good to $Ali_Good - 1)The typing animation plays for a long time as Ali composes his reply. Already beginning to regret your abruptness, you brace yourself for a lengthy message, but when it eventually appears, Ali's reply gives nothing away.
⚡️<tt>Understood.</tt>
[[Back to the ZapChat home page.|ZapChat935]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
You enter the Cylon Café and take a moment to admire the decor. Sci-fi posters have been haphazardly pasted across most surfaces, including the ceiling, but the wall behind the bar is completely covered by an mural featuring all your favourite characters: Han Solo, Ripley, Starbuck, Leela, and even Arnold Rimmer.
(if: $HighAngry is true)["Look, I'm sorry I snapped at you just then. I shouldn't have brought it up. Let's forget about it. What do you think of the bar?"](else:)["Like it?" asks Jules.]
[["I love it. I feel a bit better already."|Love Cylon]]
[["That mural is awful. Han Solo looks like a Ken doll."|HateCylon]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Jules_Good to $Jules_Good - 1)"That was a long time ago," says Jules, not looking at you. "You're not... still smoking, are you?"
[["Of course not..." you lie.|SmokingLie]]
[["What do you care?"|SmokingAngry]]
[["Sometimes. I don't need a lecture about it though. Not today."|SmokingYes]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
Jules gives you a skeptical look, but doesn't say anything.
[[Enter the Cylon Café.|NoHeavyMetal]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $HighAngry to true)(set: $Jules_Good to $Jules_Good - 1)Jules rolls her eyes. "Fine, forget I said anything."
[[Enter the Cylon Café.|NoHeavyMetal]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Jules_Good to $Jules_Good + 1)Jules puts a hand on your shoulder. "You're right, it's none of my business. I'm sorry. I just want you to... take care of yourself, that's all."
If only it was that easy, you think.
[[Enter the Cylon Café.|NoHeavyMetal]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Jules_Good to $Jules_Good + 1)Jules grins. "I know you probably have loads of great places in London, but this place has a certain charm." She turns her attention to the tattooed girl behind the bar. "I'll have a Laser Spice Latte."
The girl nods and turns her eyes, exquisitely painted with metallic purple liner, towards you.
[["Make that two."|Latte]]
[["A pint of Rocket Fuel."|Stout]]
[["Just water, thanks."|Water]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Jules_Good to $Jules_Good - 1)Jules rolls her eyes(if: $HighAngry is true)[ again](else:)[].
"I'll have a Laser Spice Latte," Jules says to the tattooed girl behind the bar, who nods and turns her eyes, exquisitely painted with metallic purple liner, towards you.
[["Make that two."|Latte]]
[["A pint of Rocket Fuel."|Stout]]
[["Just water, thanks."|Water]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Jules_Good to $Jules_Good + 1)(set: $LaserSpice to true)The tattooed girl opens an airtight jar full of warm-smelling spices, and you feel instantly comforted. "I'll bring them over," she says in a thick Cliffport accent.
[[You slide into a booth under a <em>Total Recall</em> poster.|CylonBooth]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $beer to true)(set: $Art_Good to $Art_Good - 1)Jules doesn't make another comment about your life choices, but as you take the heavy tankard of almost black beer, you wonder if it was a good idea to order a drink so early in the morning. It occurs to you that it might not even be legal for the Cylon Café to be selling alcohol at this time, but the tattooed girl doesn't look too worried.
[[You slide into a booth under a <em>Total Recall</em> poster.|CylonBooth]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $DrinkWater to true)(set: $Art_Good to $Art_Good + 1)Although you almost have second thoughts when you smell the delicious aroma wafting from Jules' Laser Spice Latte, you know you should try and take care of yourself today. As you take a sip of cold fresh water, you feel unusually virtuous.
[[You slide into a booth under a <em>Total Recall</em> poster.|CylonBooth]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
The <em>Blade Runner</em> soundtrack is playing quietly in the background, and you consider asking the tattooed girl to turn it up, but then you realise Jules is looking at you intently. "I'm glad you wanted to come here with me," she says. "I know it's not really the time, but I wanted to say something." You brace yourself, and she continues.
(if: $LaserSpice is true)["I know the last few years have been really tough for you, and me not being around might have made everything harder, and..." Jules' words are drowned out by the roar of the coffee machine, and she waits for the tattooed girl to place the Laser Spice Lattes on the table before continuing.
"I'm not apologising for moving out because it was the right thing to do, but I want you to know... I think about you a lot... And I worry about you."
You realise your fingers are white on the handle of your mug. Why is she bringing this up now?](else:)["I know the last few years have been really tough for you, and me not being around might have made everything harder. I'm not apologising for moving out because it was the right thing to do, but I want you to know... I think about you a lot... And I worry about you."
You flush with anger. Why is she bringing this up now?]
[[Take a deep breath so you can calm down before talking. "You're right, it's not really the time..."|CylonCalm]]
[["Are you kidding me? If you really cared you'd have returned my messages!"|CylonAngry]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Jules_Good to $Jules_Good + 1)Jules goes red and looks into her Laser Spice Latte, the steam fogging her glasses. "I know, I'm sorry," she replies.
"...but I appreciate the thought," you continue. "I know I didn't make it easy for you. Any of it. Anyway, you're here now, and that's what matters, so let's just get through the day."
[[Jules smiles, and you drink in companionable silence.|LeaveCylon]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Jules_Good to $Jules_Good - 1)"That's not fair!" Jules spills some Laser Spice Latte on the table as she speaks. "Even when we were living together, you just wanted to hide away, from me, from the world, from everything! Leaving was the hardest thing I've ever had to do, and I've felt awful about it ever since, but you didn't leave me any choice."
[["You were all I had, and you wouldn't even talk to me. Whatever the reason, you acted selfishly."|CylonNotForgive.]]
[["I guess you're right, but I still wish you hadn't brought it up."|CylonForgive]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
Jules dabs at the spillage with a paper napkin. "Sometimes self-preservation is the only option," she says, stiffly.
[[You finish your drinks in silence.|LeaveCylon]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Jules_Good to $Jules_Good + 1)Jules dabs at the Laser Spice spillage with a paper napkin. "Alright, I'm sorry. Let's just get through the day."
[[You finish your drinks in silence.|LeaveCylon]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(if: $LaserSpice is true)[It's time to go. Slightly buzzed from the coffee, you step outside, and realise Jules is looking at you.
"Are you ready for this?"](else:)[](if: $beer is true)[It's time to go. Your senses dulled by the beer, you step outside, and realise Jules is looking at you nervously.
"Are you ready for this?"](else:)[](if: $DrinkWater is true)[It's time to go. You step outside, and realise Jules is looking at you nervously.
"Are you ready for this?"](else:)[]
[["No. But let's go."|Church2]]
(if: $LaserSpice is true)[[["I could probably do with another drink first. A <em>real</em> one this time. What do you say, one for the road?"|Church3]]](else:)[](if: $beer is true)[[["I could probably do with another drink first. What do you say, one for the road?"|Church3]]](else:)[](if: $DrinkWater is true)[[["I could probably do with another drink first. A <em>real</em> one this time. What do you say, one for the road?"|Church3]]](else:)[]
[[(Lie) "Actually, I need the loo first."|Church4]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(if: $JulesCoffee is true)[The score - sometimes uplifting, sometimes ominous - swirls around the car as you drive towards Cliffport's dilapidated shopping district.
[[You hope you made the right choice to get coffee with Jules.|CylonCafe]]](else:)[](if: $BenMeet is true)[The score - sometimes uplifting, sometimes ominous - swirls around the car as you leave Cliffport's centre and head for the hills where you used to live.
[[You hope you made the right choice to see Ben before the funeral.|ChurchBen]]](else:)[](if: $FuneralDirect is true)[The score - sometimes uplifting, sometimes ominous - swirls around the car as you leave Cliffport's centre and head for the hills where you used to live.
[[You wonder if you should have made time for Jules or Ben before the funeral.|ChurchStop]]](else:)[]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $mailed_Jo to true)<tt>Hi,
Just checking you're still coming today, given you haven't been in touch since Saturday. Please let me know otherwise I'll have to let Father Paul know you won't be delivering your eulogy after all.
It would have been great if you'd stayed here last night, especially for Elsie and Nicholas, but I guess you have your reasons for not wanting to spend any more time with them than you have to.
Sam</tt>
You're amazed - almost impressed - that even at a time like this, your stepmother still summons the energy to compose a mail... like that. Still, you know she's going through a very difficult time.
[[Let her know you don't appreciate her tone.|ReplyJoBad935]]
[[Take a deep breath and compose a polite reply.|ReplyJoGood935]]
[[Don't reply. That's an empty threat anyway.|Mails935]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $StatementAtAll to true)You navigate to the personal statement, feeling slightly sick as you briefly think about the defining effect it could have on the rest of your life.
[[Oh wait, that's real sickness. Better close the application.|CarPhone935]]
[[Try to ignore your churning stomach.|Vom]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
Your hands shake as you type.
<tt>Hi Sam,
How's the view from the moral high ground?
I'm afraid I <em>am</em> still coming today, so no need to change any plans.
See you later.</tt>
Your trembling finger hovers over the "Send" button. You don't really want to send this, today of all days... do you?
[[Sure I do.|SendJoBad935]]
[[I guess not.|DeleteJoGood935]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Jo_Good to $Jo_Good + 1)<tt>Hi Sam,
Sorry I haven't been in touch, I've just been finding it all really hard. No excuse - you don't need extra stress.
I'll be there, and I'd still like to give the eulogy.
See you later.</tt>
You feel lighter after sending the mail.
[[Return to your inbox.|Mails935]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Sent_Nasty_Mail_Jo to true)(set: $Jo_Good to $Jo_Good - 1)Your cheeks flushed, you hit "Send", ensuring that it'll pop up on Sam's phone in a matter of moments. Serves her right.
Right?
[[Return to your inbox.|Mails935]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
You hit "Delete", and the mail vanishes into the ether. Probably for the best.
[[Return to your inbox.|Mails935]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $mailed_Astronomica to true)<tt>Dear Astronomica Citizen,
We are thrilled to congratulate you on four years in the Astronomica universe! As a reward, a unique spacesuit has been transferred to your inventory.
Here are some statistics from your last four years:
<strong>Rank:</strong> Admiral
<strong>Planets visited:</strong> 316
<strong>Crew:</strong>
* 32% Human
* 29% Cephalopian
* 22% Xenobrain
* 17% Brute Tardigrade
<strong>Selected achievements:</strong>
* Saved the Cephalopian homeworld from destruction
* Founded a cactus research centre on Marolia
* Married the Xenobrain priestess Rai'Tao (DECEASED)
Briefing over.
Astronomica</tt>
[[You think this milestone might be a good talking point if you ever make it to the Astronomica interview.|AnniversaryGood935]]
[[You wonder where you might be now if you hadn't spent so much time in an imaginary universe.|AstronomicaBad935]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $ApplicationAtAll to true)(set: $PortfolioCheck to true)(set: $ApplicationLooked935 to true)(if: $ApplicationLooked928 is false)[Even on your old phone, the Astronomica website looks great, having been designed to look like one of the in-game computers. You log into the Careers section to review your application, the swirling colours making your head spin as you try to focus.
](else:)[You log into the Careers section of the Astronomica site to review your application, the swirling colours making your head spin as you try to focus. ]As Jules hurls the Spacebug around the winding roads of the Cliffport hills, your stomach lurches, and you wonder if it's really such a good idea to do this in the car.
[[Probably not. Close the browser.|CarPhone935]]
[[Persevere.|AstronomicaApplicationYes935]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
A single playthrough of <em>Re-entry</em> will take about 20 minutes, but there are several routes through the story and many small decisions to make along the way, so you'll need to play it multiple times to see everything.
Certain elements are assigned a numerical value (to say more would constitute a spoiler). In the final version of the game, these will be hidden from the player. However, the current version includes the option to view them, which should help you give more informed feedback.
I still recommend hiding them the first couple of times you play through because they make the game less immersive.
[[Hide scores (recommended for the first few playthroughs).|HideScores]]
[[Show scores (for testing purposes).|Scores]]
(set: $ShowScores to false)
Scores will be hidden in this playthrough.
[[Start playing.|Beginning]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $ShowScores to true)Scores should now appear at the bottom of every page.
[[Start playing.|Beginning]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Jules_Good to $Jules_Good + 1)(set: $Self_Good to $Self_Good + 1)Jules gives you a rueful smile and squeezes your arm.
[[Proceed to the church.|Church]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Jules_Good to $Jules_Good - 1)(set: $Self_Good to $Self_Good - 1)Jules frowns. "I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you're joking."
Neither of you talk as you strap yourselves into the Spacebug.
[[Proceed to the church.|Church]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $ConsiderHigh to true)Jules gives you a quizzical look as you walk, then run, back to the Cylon Café. The tattooed girl looks up briefly from the <em>Sandman</em> comic she's reading, but you rush past her towards the loos. There are two doors in front of you, each with a movie still pasted to it.
[[Go through the Sarah Connor door.|ToiletDoor]]
[[Go through the Terminator door.|ToiletDoor]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Self_Good to $Self_Good + 1)(if: $window is true)[You slip the joint and lighter back in their bag, put the bag in your pocket, and clamber unsteadily down from the loo seat. As you splash your face with water, you confront your reflection.](else:)[You splash your face with water, confronting your reflection in the tinted glass of the mirror.] You look tired, and scared. Today is going to be awful.
Still, getting high will only make it worse because...
[[...you need to support Ben.|NoWeedBen]]
[[...Jules will be disappointed in you.|NoWeedJules]]
[[...Sam will be so smug if she finds out.|NoWeedSam]]
[[...the more you try and block this out, the harder it'll eventually be to deal with.|NoWeedMe]]
[[...you owe it to your dad to take everything in today.|NoWeedDad]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Ben_Good to $Ben_Good + 1)Ben's had to deal with everything on his own since you left home. You've felt guilty, but it's always been easier to push your brother away than confront the things he makes you think about.
A fully-functioning adult might consider not being high at your father's funeral to be a fairly basic level of sibling support, but to you it's a major challenge... and a serious gesture.
[[Dry your face and head back out to the Spacebug.|SpacebugChurch]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
Your thoughts immediately race to the disappointed look Jules would give you if she saw you emerging red-eyed from the Cylon Café, and you shudder.
[[It's not great that you immediately think about her before making any kind of decision, but it's better than getting high.|JulesWeedGood]]
[[Maybe if she sees you can handle this, you'll still have a chance with her.|JulesWeedBad]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Jo_Good to $Jo_Good - 1)The mere thought of Sam makes you feel hot, and you realise you've balled your sweaty hands into fists. Back when you lived at home with her and your dad, she'd pretend to be cross or upset when you got into trouble at school, but you could tell she was secretly pleased you'd messed up.
[[Dry your face and head back out to the Spacebug.|SpacebugChurch]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Art_Good to $Art_Good + 1)Much as you'd like to float through this awful day, you're going to have to deal with your feelings at some point. Besides, you have enough regrets, and don't fancy adding being high at your father's funeral to the pile.
[[Dry your face and head back out to the Spacebug.|SpacebugChurch]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Dad_Good to $Dad_Good + 1)It hurt to think about your dad even <em>before</em> he died, but you're not going to be able to avoid it today.
[[Dry your face and head back out to the Spacebug.|SpacebugChurch]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Jules_Good to $Jules_Good + 1)Sighing, you slip the little bag back in the inside pocket of your coat.
[[Dry your face and head back out to the Spacebug.|SpacebugChurch]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Jules_Good to $Jules_Good - 1)Nothing's been right since Jules broke up with you. Anything you can do to change her mind is worth a try.
[[Dry your face and head back out to the Spacebug.|SpacebugChurch]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $window to true)You take the little bag out of your pocket and pull out a neatly-rolled joint and a lighter, which is emblazoned with the Apollo Lunar Module. They didn't get to the moon by doing this, you think grimly.
Climbing up on the loo seat so you can smoke out of the window, you raise the joint to your lips and...
[[...think better of it. This really is a terrible idea.|NoWeed]]
[[...light it.|Smoke]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $high to true)(set: $Art_Good to $Art_Good - 1)(set: $Jules_Good to $Jules_Good - 1)(set: $Dad_Good to $Dad_Good - 1)(set: $Ben_Good to $Ben_Good - 1)(set: $Jo_Good to $Jo_Good - 1)In the time between inhaling your first lungful of smoke and the drug taking effect, you feel panicky, as if the plane doors are open, the wind is roaring, and your commanding officer is yelling at you to jump out.
But, as ever, as soon as the strange mix of hyper-awareness and dreaminess takes hold, you feel like you're floating away from the earth, and your panic subsides.
You clamber unsteadily down from the loo seat and splash your face with water, looking in the mirror. In this light, it's hard to tell whether your eyes are red.
[[Dry your face and head back out to the Spacebug.|BadHigh]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
The girl behind the bar shoots you a suspicious glance... or maybe it's just your imagination.
The wind has picked up as you leave the Cylon Café, and it looks like it's going to rain. Trying to assume a calm, definitely-not-high demeanor, you get into the Spacebug next to Jules. For a moment she looks at you in silence, and you feel her eyes boring into you, but then she turns away, and with an almost imperceptible shake of the head, starts the engine.
[[Sit in silence for the duration of the drive to the church.|Church]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
Across the road from the church is your dad's favourite pub, the Flying Dutchman. The lights are on, and there are a lot of people milling about inside. You dimly remember Ben telling you that the wake would be held there.
It seems he's told Jules too, because before you even point out the Flying Dutchman to her, she signals and pulls the Spacebug into the little car park behind the pub. It starts to rain as you step out of the car, and for a moment you wish you'd brought an umbrella, but when Jules offers you hers, you refuse.
(if: $high is true)[[[You think the cold rain might sober you up a bit.|ActualChurch]]](else:)[[[The weather matches your mood, and the cold rain on your face feels oddly cathartic.|ActualChurch]]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $zapped_ZapBen1030 to true)(if: $Ben11 is true)[<tt>I know you said you wouldn't get here until 11, but in case you're early, we're in the Flying Dutchman.</tt>](else:)[<tt>If you happen to get here early, we're all in the Flying Dutchman.</tt>]
⚡️[[<tt>Thanks, we're almost there.</tt>|ZapChatBenArms]]
⚡️[[<tt>Nearly there. I'm really glad we'll get to see each other before, if only briefly.</tt>|ZapChatBenSee]]
⚡️[[<tt>Is... Sam there?</tt>|ZapChatBenSamArms]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
<tt>Ok. There's a car park just over the road. See you in a minute.</tt>
Nodding, even though Ben can't see, you point the car park out to Jules, and she pulls the Spacebug into it.
[[Put your phone away.|ShipwrightsArms]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Jo_Good to $Jo_Good - 1)The typing animation plays for a long time before Ben's reply finally appears on the screen.
<tt>Of course she is. But don't worry, she's busy with the kids.</tt>
Your face burns as you think of Elsie and Nicholas, still only six. You weren't nearly as close to your dad at that age as they seem to have been, but even so. Losing a father must be terrible at such a young age.
⚡️[[<tt>I'm sorry. I'm just really nervous, and it's been a long time since I've seen her.</tt>|ZapChatBenApologise]]
⚡️[[<tt>How are they?</tt>|ZapChatBenKids]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Jo_Good to $Jo_Good + 1)<tt>I know. Don't tell her I said this, but I think she's nervous about seeing you too. Anyway, there's a car park just over the road. See you in a minute.</tt>
Nodding, even though Ben can't see, you point the car park out to Jules, and she pulls the Spacebug into it.
[[Put your phone away.|ShipwrightsArms]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
<tt>You'll see for yourself in a minute. There's a car park just over the road.</tt>
You grimace, then pull yourself together, and point the car park out to Jules. She pulls the Spacebug into it.
[[Put your phone away.|ShipwrightsArms]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
The Flying Dutchman, with its dramatic view over Cliffport harbour, was your dad's favourite pub. Your parents used to take you here for Sunday roast. In the summer, you and the other local kids would play on the climbing frame in the beer garden while the grownups caught up over an ale. Back when Sam was just a family friend.
You step inside the cosy pub and immediately see Ben over by the fireplace, talking to one of your uncles. You take a step towards your brother, but he glances across the room, and you follow his gaze, coming to rest on Sam. Your palms become clammy.
[[Go straight to Ben. You don't want to spend any more time with Sam than is absolutely necessary.|PubBen]]
[[Walk over to Sam. You'd better say hello briefly before it gets any more awkward.|PubSam]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
As you step out of the Flying Dutchman, you feel that the wind has picked up, and the steely sky over the church looks distinctly threatening.
Sure enough, before you've even made it to the road, it starts to rain, and for a moment you wish you'd brought an umbrella, but when Jules offers you hers, you refuse.
(if: $high is true)[[[You think the cold rain might sober you up a bit.|ActualChurch]]](else:)[[[The weather matches your mood, and the cold rain on your face feels oddly cathartic.|ActualChurch]]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
It's been a long time since you've been inside a hall of worship. St Mark's might be a little village church, but with its vaulted ceilings, faded tapestries and intricate stained glass windows, it's very beautiful, with a palpable sense of age and history.(if: $high is true)[
For a moment you're glad that your chemically-heightened senses increase your feeling of wonder.](elseif: $ConsiderHigh is true)[
You're glad you didn't smoke. You want to take everything in.](else:)[]
The church is already nearly full, and as you look around the graceful building, decorated with flowers on nearly every surface, you think...
[[...God gets all the best architecture.|ChurchArchitecture]]
[[...Dad sure seems to have had a lot of friends.|ChurchDad]]
[[...I wish I was here for any other reason.|ChurchSad]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
Your walk towards Ben turns into a run, and you fling your arms around him in a heartfelt hug. You don't want to let go, but he pulls away, straightening his suit, and you're taken aback by how grown-up he looks. He looks nervously around, and you realise that your extended family have started closing in on the pair you like a pack of shambling zombies.
"Come on," mutters Ben, and pulls you over to a secluded booth under a painting of the Flying Dutchman, the ghost ship after which the pub was named. When you were young, the story of the phantom vessel, which could never make port and was doomed to sail the oceans forever, enthralled you. Now you identify with its crew all too well.
For a moment you're lost in the painting, but Ben's voice pulls you back to reality. "How are you?"
[["I'm fine. I mean he had to go some time, didn't he?"|BenCallous]]
[["I'm doing my best."|BenOptimistic]]
[["It hasn't really sunk in yet."|BenDenial]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(if: $Sent_Nasty_Mail_Jo is true)[You stride over towards your stepmother, mentally raising your blast shield for what is sure to be a horrible confrontation. Sure enough, her ray gun is drawn. "How nice of you to join us," she says. "I suppose that's all thanks to Julia, since you had your little run-in with the traffic police."
[["Nice to see you too."|SamSarcastic]]
[["That's not what happened and you know it."|SamArgue]]
[[You say nothing, using all your energy to slow the torrent of adrenaline flooding your body. There's no need to make this worse.|SamQuiet]]](elseif: $JoNiceMail is true)[As she catches sight of you approaching, your stepmother's expression turns to shock, but then softens. She leans towards you, and with horror you realise she's about to try and give you a hug, but at the last minute she thinks better of it and gives you an awkward pat on the arm. You try to hide your relief.
Sam sniffs slightly, and pulls herself upright. "I thought you were coming straight to the church?"
[["I thought I'd come early to see Ben."|SamBen]]
[["I didn't want to risk being late... Do you need any help?"|SamHelp]]](else:)[You stride over towards your stepmother, mentally raising your blast sield for what is sure to be a horrible confrontation, but as you get closer you realise she looks tired and drawn, and your anger deflates. A shadow crosses her face as she catches sight of you, but she quickly gets her expression under control.
"I thought you weren't going to be here until later," she says tartly.
[["Yeah well. Bad luck."|SamBad]]
[["I wanted to see Ben."|SamBen]]
[["I didn't want to risk being late... Do you need any help?"|SamHelp]]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $JoBadPub to true)(set: $Jo_Good to $Jo_Good - 1)"Oh grow up," she mutters. You shrug(if: $eulogy is false)[, but Sam takes a step towards you. "Wait... You never replied to my email!" You gape in horror, but she continues. "Do you still want to give the eulogy?"
[["Yes."|EulogyYes]]
[["I'm sorry, I just can't."|EulogyNo]]](else:)[.
[[Turn your back on her and head towards Ben.|PubBen]]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
"Oh, of course..." You can't think of anything to say, so you turn to make your escape(if: $eulogy is false)[, but Sam takes a step towards you. "Wait... You never replied to my email!" You gape in horror, but she continues. "Do you still want to give the eulogy?"
[["Yes."|EulogyYes]]
[["I'm sorry, I just can't."|EulogyNo]]](else:)[.
[[Make a hasty retreat to Ben.|PubBen]]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Jo_Good to $Jo_Good - 1)"There's no need to be sarcastic," she snaps. "Look..." Sam rakes her red fingernails through her glossy mane, a nervous tic you remember from your teenage years. "We probably shouldn't argue."
[["It's a bit late for that."|SamAttack]]
[["Right. Let's just get through the day."|SamPeace]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Jo_Good to $Jo_Good - 1)"Really? It's just that you get into trouble so often that it's hard to remember." She studies her long red fingernails.
[["At least I'm not boring, like <em>your</em> kids."|SamAttack]]
[["Can't we just get through the day?"|SamPeace]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
Sam seems almost disappointed that you don't have a comeback for her. She looks you up and down, her eyes alighting on your faded jacket with the drooping hem. "You might have made more of an effort, today of all days."
You sigh. Someone's going to have to be the bigger person here.
[["I'm sorry about my email this morning. I was stressed."|SamApologiseMail]]
[["There's no need for this."|SamInsults]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $JoGoodPub to true)(set: $Jo_Good to $Jo_Good + 1)She seems taken aback by your offer. "Oh no, everything's under control, Ben's been so wonderful..." You raise an eyebrow slightly. "I didn't mean to imply... It's just... I mean... Thank you." (if: $eulogy is false)[You're backing away when Sam takes a step towards you. "Wait... You never replied to my email!" You gape in horror, but she continues. "Do you still want to give the eulogy?"
[["Yes."|EulogyYes]]
[["I'm sorry, I just can't."|EulogyNo]]](else:)[
[[Make a hasty retreat to Ben.|PubBen]]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $eulogy to true)"Right. Great. Ok." Sam rakes her red fingernails through her glossy mane, a nervous tic you remember from your teenage years.
[["Don't worry, there's nothing bad in it."|SamReassure]]
[["You're not worried are you?"|SamThreaten]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $eulogyno to true)(set: $Art_Good to $Art_Good - 1)(set: $eulogy to false)You can't read Sam's expression. Is she relieved? Disappointed? Rather than ask her, you back away.
[[Finally, it's time to see Ben.|PubBen]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Jo_Good to $Jo_Good + 1)"I didn't mean... well.. I'm looking forward to it... No! I mean..."
The awkwardness hangs in the air like a noxious gas.
[["It's fine, please don't worry about it."|SamAwkward]]
[[Let her carry on.|SamMoreAwkward]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Jo_Good to $Jo_Good - 1)"No I'm not worried," Sam sniffs. "As ever, the only person you're going to make look bad is yourself."
For once, you think grimly, she might be right.
[[Make a hasty retreat to Ben.|PubBen]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $JoBadPub to true)(set: $Jo_Good to $Jo_Good - 1)Sam opens her mouth to retaliate, but before she can speak, Jules sweeps over. "Samantha, I'm <em>so</em> sorry," she says, enveloping Sam in a hug. Over Sam's shoulder, Jules catches your eye and jerks her head in Ben's direction.
<em>My hero</em>, you mouth at her, and she rolls her eyes.
[[Grab the chance to escape to Ben.|PubBen]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
"Fine by me," you mutter.
[[Make a hasty retreat to Ben.|PubBen]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Jo_Good to $Jo_Good + 1)Sam seems to deflate a little. "We all say things in haste," she sniffs. You raise an eyebrow, guessing that's as close to an apology as you're going to get.
[[Now that's over, it's time to greet Ben.|PubBen]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
Sam rakes her red fingernails through her glossy mane, a nervous tic you remember from your teenage years. "Yes, well, I'm a little on edge. You try organising a funeral and looking after two children."
[[Murmer an apology and shuffle over to Ben.|PubBen]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Jo_Good to $Jo_Good + 1)Sam gives you a weak smile in gratitude. You pull your face into what you hope is a matching expression.
[[Make a hasty retreat to Ben.|PubBen]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
Sam eventually runs out of steam, but it's painful to watch and you regret not interrupting.
[[Escape to Ben.|PubBen]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
Ben excuses himself to greet a middle-aged couple you don't recognise, leaving you alone. You look over to Jules, but she's now engaged in conversation with Sam, and you'd rather not interrupt.
Everyone in the room is dressed in black and talking in low voices. Suddenly it hits you. This is your dad's <em>funeral</em>. It's existed as an abstract concept in your mind for the last week, but now that it's less than an hour away, you start shaking.
Just as well you brought a tiny bag of something to take the edge off.
[[Sneak out to the garden.|PubGarden]]
[[Try to calm down.|PubCalm]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Self_Good to $Self_Good + 1)You stuff the joint back in the bag, and the bag back in your pocket. Today is going to be awful, but getting high will only make it worse because...
[[...you need to support Ben.|NoWeedBenPub]]
[[...Jules will be disappointed in you.|NoWeedJulesPub]]
[[...Sam will be so smug if she finds out.|NoWeedSamPub]]
[[...the more you try and block this out, the harder it'll eventually be to deal with.|NoWeedMePub]]
[[...you owe it to your dad to take everything in today.|NoWeedDadPub]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $high to true)(set: $Art_Good to $Art_Good - 1)(set: $Jules_Good to $Jules_Good - 1)(set: $Dad_Good to $Dad_Good - 1)(set: $Ben_Good to $Ben_Good - 1)(set: $Jo_Good to $Jo_Good - 1)In the seconds between inhaling your first lungful of smoke and the drug taking effect, you are gripped with panic, as if you've been strapped into a rocket that's about to go off.
But, as ever, as soon as the strange mix of hyper-awareness and dreaminess takes hold, the roar of the rocket fuel is replaced by a floating sensation. Your panic subsides as you drift away from the earth.
You stub the joint out on the damp ground, and flick it over the hill to the harbour below.
[[Stagger back up the hill to the pub.|ReturnPub]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $ConsiderHigh to true)The sloping lawn of the pub garden is dotted with old picnic tables and the stalks of furled umbrellas, damp with the previous night's rain. As you stumble down the hill towards the low fence overlooking the cliff, your eye is drawn to the point where the grey water of Cliffport harbour meets the steely sky. When you reach the fence, you stand still for a moment, breathing in the acerbic sea air and squinting at the rusting skeletons of scrapped war vessels that scar the horizon.
Your hands are still shaking as you take the little bag, containing a neatly-rolled joint and a lighter, out of your pocket. The lighter is emblazoned with a fading photo of the Apollo Lunar Module. They didn't get to the moon by doing this, you think grimly.
[[Think better of it. This is a terrible idea.|NoWeedPub]]
[[Light the joint.|WeedPub]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Art_Good to $Art_Good + 1)You take a few deep breaths, and sure enough, your panic subsides.
However, as soon as you've got your feelings under control, Sam's voice pierces the subdued murmer of the funeral goers.
"Everyone? It's... time."
Your stomach clenches.
[[Shuffle out of the pub.|LeavePub]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Ben_Good to $Ben_Good + 1)Ben's had to deal with everything on his own since you left home. You've felt guilty, but it's always been easier to push your brother away than confront the things he makes you think about.
A fully-functioning adult might consider not being high at your father's funeral to be a fairly basic level of sibling support, but to you it's a major challenge... and a serious gesture.
[[Return to the pub.|ReturnPub]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
Your thoughts immediately race to the disappointed look Jules would give you if she saw you returning red-eyed from the garden, and you shudder.
[[It's not great that you immediately think about her before making any kind of decision, but it's better than getting high.|JulesWeedGoodPub]]
[[Maybe if she sees you can handle this, you'll still have a chance with her.|JulesWeedBadPub]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Jo_Good to $Jo_Good - 1)The mere thought of Sam makes you feel hot, and you realise you've balled your sweaty hands into fists. Back when you lived at home with her and your dad, she'd pretend to be cross or upset when you got into trouble at school, but you could tell she was secretly pleased you'd messed up.
[[Return to the pub.|ReturnPub]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Art_Good to $Art_Good + 1)Much as you'd like to float through this awful day, you're going to have to deal with your feelings at some point. Besides, you have enough regrets, and don't fancy adding being high at your father's funeral to the pile.
[[Return to the pub.|ReturnPub]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Dad_Good to $Dad_Good + 1)It hurt to think about your dad even <em>before</em> he died, but you're not going to be able to avoid it today.
[[Return to the pub.|ReturnPub]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(if: $high is true)[You feel extremes of temparature far more acutely when you're high, and the pub is pleasantly warm after the bracing cold of the windswept garden.
However, as soon as you decide to get a comforting cup of tea, Sam's voice pierces the subdued murmer of the funeral goers.](else:)[The pub is pleasantly warm after the bracing cold of the windswept garden. You decide to order a comforting cup of tea, but just as you approach the bar, Sam's voice pierces the subdued murmer of the funeral goers.]
"Everyone? It's... time."
Your stomach clenches.
[[Shuffle out of the pub.|LeavePub]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Jules_Good to $Jules_Good + 1)Sighing, you slip the little bag back in the inside pocket of your coat.
[[Return to the pub.|ReturnPub]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Jules_Good to $Jules_Good - 1)Nothing's been right since Jules broke up with you. Anything you can do to change her mind is worth a try.
[[Return to the pub.|ReturnPub]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
You're driving through the woods towards the small cliffside village where you grew up, when the Spacebug starts to squeal.
"Crap," says Jules. "I'm going to need to take a look at that. Don't worry, we've got plenty of time." She pulls over, pops the bonnet, and gets out, leaving you alone in the car. As she bends over the hissing engine, the reality suddenly hits. The funeral has existed as an abstract concept in your mind for the last week. Now that it's less than an hour away, you start shaking.
Just as well you brought a tiny bag of something to take the edge off.
[[Sneak out to the woods.|Woods]]
[[Try to calm down.|WoodsCalm]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $ConsiderHigh to true)"I'm just going to get some air," you say to Jules as you get out of the car and head into the woods. The ground is damp and covered in a carpet of decomposing leaves. It rained last night, and when you stop walking you can hear the drips of water from the leaves of the trees.
You look around at the dark, glistening bark on the trees and the moss-covered roots arching out of the ground like the tentacles of some subterranean monster, and shiver. When you really <em>look</em> at it, the real world is as alien as any sci-fi set.
You reach a clearing and stand still for a moment, breathing in the forest air. Your hands are still shaking as you take the little bag out of your pocket and pull out a neatly-rolled joint and a lighter, which is emblazoned with the Apollo Lunar Module. They didn't get to the moon by doing this, you think grimly.
[[Think better of it. This is a terrible idea.|NoWeedWoods]]
[[Light the joint.|WeedWoods]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Art_Good to $Art_Good + 1)You take a few deep breaths, and sure enough, your panic subsides. Your hand, which has been inching towards your jacket pocket, falls to your lap, and you relax into your seat, allowing the calm of the woods to infuse you.
After a while, Jules slams the bonnet and swings herself back into the Spacebug. "All done," she says. "Sorry about that!"
[[You give her a little smile as she pulls back into the road.|Church]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $high to true)(set: $Art_Good to $Art_Good - 1)(set: $Jules_Good to $Jules_Good - 1)(set: $Dad_Good to $Dad_Good - 1)(set: $Ben_Good to $Ben_Good - 1)(set: $Jo_Good to $Jo_Good - 1)As you inhale the first lungful of smoke you feel instantly panicky as you realise there's no way back from what you've just done. But as the drug, with its strange mix of hyper-awareness and dreaminess, takes effect, you feel like you're floating away from the earth, and your panic subsides.
You stub the joint out on the damp ground, and make sure it's fully out before flicking it into the woods and picking your way back towards the car. Trying to assume a calm, definitely-not-high demeanor, you get into the Spacebug next to Jules. For a moment she looks at you in silence, and you feel her eyes boring into you, but then she turns away, and with an almost imperceptible shake of the head, starts the engine.
[[Sit in silence for the duration of the drive to the church.|Church]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Self_Good to $Self_Good + 1)You stuff the joint back in the bag, and the bag back in your pocket. Today is going to be awful, but getting high will only make it worse because...
[[...you need to support Ben.|NoWeedBenWoods]]
[[...Jules will be disappointed in you.|NoWeedJulesWoods]]
[[...Sam will be so smug if she finds out.|NoWeedSamWoods]]
[[...the more you try and block this out, the harder it'll eventually be to deal with.|NoWeedMeWoods]]
[[...you owe it to your dad to take everything in today.|NoWeedDadWoods]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Ben_Good to $Ben_Good + 1)Ben's had to deal with everything on his own since you left home. You've felt guilty, but it's always been easier to push your brother away than confront the things he makes you think about.
A fully-functioning adult might consider not being high at your father's funeral to be a fairly basic level of sibling support, but to you it's a major challenge... and a serious gesture.
[[Return to the car.|BackToCar]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
Your thoughts immediately race to the disappointed look Jules would give you if she saw you returning red-eyed from the garden, and you shudder.
[[It's not great that you immediately think about her before making any kind of decision, but it's better than getting high.|JulesWeedGoodCar]]
[[Maybe if she sees you can handle this, you'll still have a chance with her.|JulesWeedBadCar]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Jo_Good to $Jo_Good - 1)The mere thought of Sam makes you feel hot, and you realise you've balled your sweaty hands into fists. Back when you lived at home with her and your dad, she'd pretend to be cross or upset when you got into trouble at school, but you could tell she was secretly pleased you'd messed up.
[[Return to the car.|BackToCar]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Art_Good to $Art_Good + 1)Much as you'd like to float through this awful day, you're going to have to deal with your feelings at some point. Besides, you have enough regrets, and don't fancy adding being high at your father's funeral to the pile.
[[Return to the car.|BackToCar]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Dad_Good to $Dad_Good + 1)It hurt to think about your dad even <em>before</em> he died, but you're not going to be able to avoid it today.
[[Return to the car.|BackToCar]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Jules_Good to $Jules_Good + 1)Sighing, you slip the little bag back in the inside pocket of your coat.
[[Return to the Car.|BackToCar]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Jules_Good to $Jules_Good - 1)Nothing's been right since Jules broke up with you. Anything you can do to change her mind is worth a try.
[[Return to the Car.|BackToCar]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
The wind has picked up as you leave the woods, and it looks like it's going to rain.
As you get into the Spacebug next to Jules, she gives you a strange look. You hold her gaze for a moment, wondering if she knows what you were planning to do, but then she gives an almost imperceptible shrug, starts the engine.
[[Sit in silence for the duration of the drive to the church.|Church]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Ben_Good to $Ben_Good - 1)(set: $Dad_Good to $Dad_Good - 1)Ben looks stunned, but you continue. "I mean... he was ill for so long. If anything it's kind of a relief, just because it was so awful him being so sick."
"How would you know? You haven't been here." Ben doesn't sound angry - he never sounds angry - more genuinely curious, as if he doesn't fully understand what you said.
[["Well it's obvious, isn't it? No-one wants to be ill like that. If it happens to me, push me into the harbour."|BenCallous1]]
[["I don't need to be... As a matter of fact, I don't know why you never left Cliffport."|BenCallous2]]
[["I'm sorry, I don't even know what I'm saying."|BenCallous3]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Ben_Good to $Ben_Good + 1)"That could mean anything," he replies. He gives a little smile, and you realise he's making a rare joke. "Seriously though... I know you're living this exciting life and you've probably got loads of people to talk to, but if you do want to talk about things, you're welcome. I mean... I'd like it." You're silent for a moment, and he goes red. "Never mind."
[["I'd like that too."|BenTalk]]
[["I don't think there's anything to talk about."|BenNoTalk]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Self_Good to $Self_Good + 1)(set: $Ben_Good to $Ben_Good + 1)"Same!" Ben blurts in an uncharacteristic display of feeling. He seems as surprised by his outburst as you, and hunches over the table. "I keep waiting to feel it, to know that he's really gone, but it just isn't happening. I keep expecting he's going to come back. Being in this pub just makes it weirder."
You catch each other's eyes, and a flicker of a smile passes between you. Suddenly it feels like you're children again, hiding in a corner of the pub away from the grownups.
[[You can't think of anything else to say.|Bathroom]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Ben_Good to $Ben_Good - 1)(set: $Self_Good to $Self_Good - 1)As you hear the words spill out of your mouth, you realise how awful they sound. You expect Ben to look as aghast as you feel, but he just looks sad. He studies the grain in the wood of the table as he speaks. "Yeah, well. Everyone's different."
You think about your dad, and how he might have wanted more time, especially with his two youngest children. You feel ashamed.
[[Look away from Ben.|Bathroom]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Ben_Good to $Ben_Good - 1)"You really want to know?" He looks up at you in his earnest way, which you've always found disarming. Almost anyone else you know would fight back at the implied insult, but not Ben.
[["Sure. Why are you still here?"|BenAsk]]
[["Not really."|BenDontCare]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
"It's ok," says Ben, uncertainly. "We're all on edge today."
[[Shrug and look down at your hands.|Bathroom]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(set: $Ben_Good to $Ben_Good + 1)"I'm not like you. You've always wanted to get out, have adventures, see the world. And maybe a part of me does too, but when I turned 18 I was too scared. I guess I hadn't got over Mum..." - your stomach clenches - "...and all I wanted to do was stay at home and build a safe little life in the world I'd always known. And then by the time I'd started to feel better about everything, I realised I was happy here."
He gives a little shrug. "I guess that sounds stupid to you."
[["Maybe if you saw more of the world you wouldn't like this rusty old town so much."|BenCondemn]]
[["Actually, it's smartest thing in years. It's really hard to know what makes you happy."|BenReassure]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Ben_Good to $Ben_Good - 1)"Yeah, I guess now's not really the time," he says, scratching his ear.
[[Look away.|Bathroom]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Ben_Good to $Ben_Good - 1)Ben gives a sad smile. "You're probably right. But I've got time."
[[You wonder how he's able to be so philosophical.|Bathroom]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Ben_Good to $Ben_Good + 1)Ben had been staring down at his hands as he spoke, but now he looks up at you with sincerity. "Thank you," he says. "That means a lot."
[[Mumble an awkward acknowledgement.|Bathroom]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Ben_Good to $Ben_Good + 1)You smile at him, but pull your gaze away as the tears start to prickle.
Not now, you think.
[[Blow your nose.|Bathroom]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Ben_Good to $Ben_Good - 1)"I guess not." He looks out of the window at the windswept harbour.
[[Look away.|Bathroom]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Self_Good to $Self_Good + 1)You've never been religious - a bone of contention between you and your dad - but you have to admit, there are few buildings more beautiful than an old church.
With your artist's eyes, you scan the interior, taking in the perfect proportions, the warm light from the candles, and the scattering of colour from the stained glass.
No matter how bad things get, you think, it'll always be important to appreciate beauty.
[[Find a pew.|ChurchSit]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Dad_Good to $Dad_Good + 1)Was your dad always this popular? You realise you've never actually considered this, but now that you think about his life - dedicated to his students, immersed in community activities, tireless organiser of pub quizzes - you realise it's not surprising there are so many people here.
[[Search for some space on a pew.|ChurchSit]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
Your momentary distraction at the beauty of your surroundings is immediately replaced by a crushing dread at the thought of the service ahead.
[[Block it out.|ChurchSadDenial]]
[[Resolve to give it your full attention, no matter how difficult it gets.|ChurchSadHonest]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
You see Jules perched on the end of a pew next to Mrs Bates, one of your sixth-form teachers, who worked with your dad. You don't really want to talk to Mrs Bates, but you also don't want to be too far away from Jules' stabilising presence. As you bend down to ask Jules to budge over, you hear Sam's piercing voice cut through the shuffling of the crowd.
"Immediate family sit here," she says, gesturing to a pew at the front.
(if: $Jo_Good < -2)[Her voice is louder than it needs to be, and there's an undertone of aggression. You haven't made any effort today to patch things up between you, but you don't care. She doesn't deserve it.
[[Roll your eyes and slouch towards the front.|SitFront]]
[[Defy Sam by sitting next to Jules anyway.|SitBack]]](elseif: $Jo_Good > +2)[You might be imagining it, but you detect a note of warmth in her voice you've never heard before. It wasn't easy being polite to her today, but maybe it was worth it.
[[Nod and sit at the front.|SitFront]]
[[Still, you'd rather sit next to Jules.|SitBack]]](else:)[Sam's tone is as sharp as ever. Although it's probably for the best that you haven't antagonised her much more than usual, a part of you wonders how different things would be if you made more of an effort with her.
[[Take a seat at the front.|SitFront]]
[[Sit next to Jules anyway.|SitBack]]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Dad_Good to $Dad_Good - 1)(set: $Art_Good to $Art_Good - 1)You feel an inexplicable surge of anger towards all the sorrowful looks that are currently being directed at you.
Why should you wallow in grief <em>now</em>? What's so special about today? You'll deal with this in your own way, in your own time.
[[Find a pew.|ChurchSit]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Dad_Good to $Dad_Good + 1)(set: $Self_Good to $Self_Good + 1)Although your instinct - and strong desire - is to skate over the surface of difficult experiences, you know that'll only make things worse in the long run. Besides, no matter how difficult your relationship was with your dad, this is your chance to say goodbye.(if: $high is true)[
If only you weren't so high.](else:)[]
[[Find a pew.|ChurchSit]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Jo_Good to $Jo_Good + 1)Your face burns as heads turn to watch you take a prominent seat at the front next to Ben.
(if: $Ben_Good > 4)[Ben puts a hand on your shoulder as you sit down, and you're grateful for the contact. You're lucky to have a brother like him, and glad you made time for him today.](elseif: $Ben_Good < 1)[He's staring straight ahead. Although he'd never consciously act in a way that would make you feel bad, you get the sense you've disappointed him today.](else:)[You try to catch Ben's eye, but he's staring straight ahead. Part of you wishes you'd made more time for him today.]
On your other side is Elsie, who is sniffling into a disintegrating tissue. You feel guilty for not having spoken to the twins yet, but you've never really known what to say to children at the best of times, let alone <em>these</em> children. (if: $high is true)[You hope they don't know what weed smells like yet.](else:)[]
[[Put an arm around Elsie.|ElsieHug]]
[["Here, have a fresh tissue."|ElsieTissue]]
[["Can't you stop sniffling?"|ElsieCross]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
You squish up next to Jules, but she elbows you in the ribs. "Didn't you hear?", she whispers, but she knows you did.
(if: $Jules_Good < -5)[As you walk towards the front of the church you turn back to see her glaring at you. She sees you looking and quckly assumes a more neutral expression, but you know she's angry with you for the way you've acted towards her today.](elseif: $Jules_Good > +4)[As you walk towards the front of the church you turn back to see her smiling sadly at you. You're glad you made an effort with her today, if nothing else.](else:)[As you walk towards the front of the church you turn back to look at her, but she's talking to Mrs. Bates and doesn't see. Although you're glad your behaviour today hasn't upset her too much, you wonder if you should have made more of an effort to put your shared past behind you.]
[[Take a seat at the front.|SitFront2]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
You reach in your pocket for a clean tissue, but of course, you don't have one. You start patting yourself down, but feel a tap on your shoulder. Ben is holding out a new pack of Kleenex. You move to take one, but he just hands you the whole thing. "I've got three more packs," he says. "You can never have too many tissues."
[[Give Elsie the tissues and sit back up in your pew.|ChurchPewSit]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Art_Good to $Art_Good + 1)The hug is awkward, and Elsie stiffens as soon as you touch her, but after a moment she pats your arm with a little hand. From over her shoulder you see Nicholas looking at you with a slightly alarmed expression, and you reach over and tousle his hair. He seems more peturbed than comforted, but it was without a doubt the absolute best you could have done.
[[Sit back up.|ChurchPewSit]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Art_Good to $Art_Good - 1)Shocked, Elsie does actually stop crying. You're immediately furious with yourself and imagine she will be too, but when she looks up at you with her wet face you see an altogether different expression in her eyes.
She's scared of you, you realise.
[[It's because she doesn't really know you.|EliseKnow]]
[[It's because Sam's probably told her all kinds of things about you.|ElsieLies]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
Your face burns as heads turn to watch you take a prominent seat at the front, between Ben and Elsie, who is sniffling into a disintegrating tissue. You feel guilty for not having spoken to the twins yet, but you've never really known what to say to children at the best of times, let alone <em>these</em> children. (if: $high is true)[You hope they don't know what weed smells like yet.](else:)[]
[[Put an arm around Elsie.|ElsieHug]]
[["Here, have a fresh tissue."|ElsieTissue]]
[["Can't you stop sniffling?"|ElsieCross]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
You realise your phone is still on. Now would be a good time to turn it off, unless you want your ringtone, the Flash Gordon theme, to interrupt the service and make this day even worse than it already is. Turning on the screen, you see that the service won't actually begin for another ten minutes.
[[Check your notifications.|PhoneNotifications]]
[[Turn the phone off.|PhoneOff]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
There's no possible way to make up for your absence in her life, or the way you just spoke to her. You'll just have to make the best of it.
[["I'm sorry, I didn't mean it. I'm just really sad... like you. "|ElsieApologise]]
[["Here, blow your nose."|ElsieNose]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Jo_Good to $Jo_Good - 1)You narrow your eyes at Sam, now absent-mindedly stroking Nicholas' hair with trembling fingers. The things I could tell your kids about <em>you</em>, you think.
[[Sit back up in your pew.|ChurchPewSit]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Art_Good to $Art_Good + 1)Elsie looks uncertainly at you, and then goes back to crying. That could have gone better, you think. Still, at least you apologised.
[[Sit back up in your pew.|ChurchPewSit]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Art_Good to $Art_Good - 1)You gesture towards Elise's already sodden tissue and she obediently blows her nose, though you can tell she still feels unnerved. You're so terrible at this, you think.
[[Sit back up in your pew.|ChurchPewSit]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(if: $PhoneCar is false)[You gaze affectionately at the photo of the Sputnik satellite on your home screen before focussing on the icons floating over the top of it. You've just got time to check both your ZapChat and your mails.](else:)[In Russian, "Sputnik" means "fellow traveller". Sputnik's been on your home screen for years now, and you find it especially comforting to have a picture of the little satellite in your pocket on a day like today.]
(if: $Zap1100 is false)[[[Open ZapChat.|ZapChat1100]]](else:)[...you've already checked ZapChat.]
(if: $mail1100 is false)[[[Check your mails.|Mails1100]]](else:)[...you've already checked your mails.]
[[Turn your phone off.|PhoneOff]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
No sooner have you turned your phone off then the rustling and murmering of the congregation goes quiet. Father Paul, who is looking much greyer than he was the last time you saw him, proceeds slowly to meet the coffin at the church door.
The congregation stands, and you turn to watch as your three uncles and your dad's oldest friend carry the coffin slowly towards the front of the church behind Father Paul. It's hard to connect the wooden box with your dad.
(if: $high is true)[[[Even though your mind can tumble down some pretty terrifying rabbit holes when you're high, you force yourself to think about your father's death.|CoffinHigh]]](else:)[[[Solemnly watch the procession.|FuneralWatch]]]
[[You feel a rush of anger at not being asked to be a pall-bearer.|PallbearerAngry]]
[[Stare straight ahead, ignoring the coffin. It's just too upsetting.|FuneralIgnore]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Zap1100 to true)<strong>Welcome to ZapChat!</strong>
(if: $zapped_ZapAli1100 is false)[⚡️[[<tt>Ali zapped you!</tt>|ZapAli1100]]
](else:)[<tt>Ali is unavailable.</tt>
]<tt>Jules is unavailable.</tt>
<tt>Ben is unavailable.</tt>
[[Go back to your phone's home screen.|PhoneNotifications]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $mail1100 to true)<strong>Welcome to </strong>💌<strong>E-Zee Mail</strong>💌<strong>, the fast, fun, FRIENDLY mail app!</strong>
(if: $MailOpened is false)[You make a mental note to download a new e-mail client before perusing your inbox.
](else:)[](if: $mailed_Sabine1 is false)[💌[[<tt>SABINE TRÉMAUX: Your application is still pending.</tt>|MailAstronomica1100]]
](else:)[💌<tt><strong>``*MAIL READ*`` </strong>SABINE TRÉMAUX: Your application is still pending.</tt>
](if: $mailed_Jo is false)[💌[[<tt>SAMANTHA TOWNSEND: Today...</tt>|MailJo1100]]
](else:)[💌<tt><strong>``*MAIL READ*`` </strong>SAMANTHA TOWNSEND: Today...</tt>
](if: $mailed_Astronomica is false)[💌[[<tt>ASTRONOMICA: Congratulations on your four-year anniversary!</tt>|MailAnniversary1100]]
](else:)[💌<tt><strong>``*MAIL READ*`` </strong>ASTRONOMICA: Congratulations on your four-year anniversary</tt>
](if: $PortfolioCheck is true)[(if: $SabineFollowUp is true)[💌<tt><strong>``*MAIL READ*`` </strong>SABINE TRÉMAUX: Astronomica application</tt>
](else:)[💌[[<tt>SABINE TRÉMAUX: Astronomica application</tt>|MailSabine1100]]](else:)[]]
[[Go back to your phone's home screen.|PhoneNotifications]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $zapped_ZapAli1100 to true)⚡️<tt>Sending you good vibes 🧀. No need to reply.</tt>(if: $ZappedAliEver is true)[](else:)[
You smile slightly as you imagine Ali at work, keeping the ZapChat window as small as possible in the corner of his desktop, and minimising it whenever anyone walked past.]
⚡️[[<tt>Thanks... what's with the cheese? Is that a reference?</tt>|ZapChatAliCheese]]
[[You have no idea how to reply to that. Go back to the ZapChat home page.|ZapChat1100]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $SabineFollowUp to true)<tt>Hi,
My name is Sabine Trémaux, and we spoke on the phone last week in regard to the Junior Character Artist position. You probably received an automated mail from this account earlier today about the application deadline.
I saw you logged into your account earlier today, and wanted to make sure that you were aware you haven't submitted yet. Occasionally the applications section of the website throws up errors, particularly when large file sizes (like a portfolio) are involved.
I hope you are still planning to submit and look forward to seeing your application. You seemed so passionate about the position when we spoke on the phone.
Kind Regards,
Sabine Trémaux
Artistic Director
Astronomica Studios</tt>
You're shocked that Sabine remembers you, and even more shocked that your awkward phone conversation seemed to have made a positive impression.
[[Resolve to complete the application by the end of the day.|AstronomicaStatementYes]]
(if: $high is true)[[[Being high isn't going to make it easier to write a personal statement.|AstronomicaStatementHigh]]](else:)[[[What's the point? The other applications will be way better.|AstronomicaStatementNo]]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $mailed_Sabine1 to true)<tt>Dear Applicant,
I am writing to inform you that your application for the post of Junior Character Artist is still pending. To submit your application, please complete the form on the Careers space on our website.
Please be aware that the deadline for applications for this role is 18:00 today.
Kind Regards,
Sabine Trémaux
Artistic Director
Astronomica Studios</tt>
Your stomach tenses. Although your application is almost complete, you still need to finish the personal statement. Even then, you don't know if your portfolio is good enough.
[[Return to your inbox. You can't work on your application now.|Mails1100]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $mailed_Jo to true)<tt>Hi,
Just checking you're still coming today, given you haven't been in touch since Saturday. Please let me know otherwise I'll have to let Father Paul know you won't be delivering your eulogy after all.
It would have been great if you'd stayed here last night, especially for Elsie and Nicholas, but I guess you have your reasons for not wanting to spend any more time with them than you have to.
Sam</tt>
(if: $JoBadPub is true)[You had been feeling bad about your tense meeting with same at the Shipwrights Arms, but now you feel vindicated. You resist the urge to send a snarky reply.](elseif: $JoGoodPub is true)[Your anger is instant, and you have to remind yourself that Sam sent this before your relatively civil meeting in the pub earlier. It's best to just forget about this mail.](else:)[You're amazed - almost impressed - that even at a time like this, Sam still summons the energy to compose a mail... like that. Still, you know she's going through a very difficult time. You're glad you hadn't read that before you met up with her today.]
[[Go back to your mails.|Mails1100]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $mailed_Astronomica to true)<tt>Dear Astronomica Citizen,
We are thrilled to congratulate you on four years in the Astronomica universe! As a reward, a unique spacesuit has been transferred to your inventory.
Here are some statistics from your last four years:
<strong>Rank:</strong> Admiral
<strong>Planets visited:</strong> 316
<strong>Crew:</strong>
* 32% Human
* 29% Cephalopian
* 22% Xenobrain
* 17% Brute Tardigrade
<strong>Selected achievements:</strong>
* Saved the Cephalopian homeworld from destruction
* Founded a cactus research centre on Marolia
* Married the Xenobrain priestess Rai'Tao (DECEASED)
Briefing over.
Astronomica</tt>
[[You think this milestone might be a good talking point if you ever make it to the Astronomica interview.|AnniversaryGood1100]]
[[You wonder where you might be now if you hadn't spent so much time in an imaginary universe.|AstronomicaBad1100]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Art_Good to $Art_Good + 1)You make a mental note to prepare a list of your favourite Astronomica memories... just in case you make it to interview.
[[Go back to your mails.|Mails1100]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Art_Good to $Art_Good - 1)You feel hopeless.
[[Go back to your mails.|Mails1100]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Art_Good to $Art_Good + 1)(if: $high is true)[You wish you had a clearer head, but you can always have some coffee at the wake. Besides you've always quite liked the way you write when you're high.](else:)[You haven't thought about the application for a couple of hours, and the reminder makes you both nervous and excited.] (if: $StatementWritten is true)[You've already made a good start on the statement, so it shouldn't take much to finish it.](else:)[Even though you haven't written anything yet, it shouldn't be too difficult. Just be honest, you tell yourself.]
[[Return to your inbox.|Mails1100]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Art_Good to $Art_Good - 1)Your mind races through everything the other applicants probably have - art degrees, internships, industry experience - that you don't. By the time you admitted to yourself that you really wanted to be a video game artist, you'd already wasted three years in data entry.
(if: $StatementWritten is true)[You can't think of a way to improve on the statement you drafted earlier, but you still don't think it's up to much.](else:)[You haven't got a clue how to start writing your statement.]
[[Return to your inbox.|Mails1100]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Art_Good to $Art_Good - 1)Sometimes you quite like the things you write when you're high, but somehow, you don't think the abstract thought at which your chemically-altered brain excels will be suitable for your personal statement.
(if: $StatementWritten is true)[At least you've made a start on it.](else:)[You haven't even made a start on it.]
[[Return to your inbox.|Mails1100]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
⚡️<tt>Crap, I meant ✨. It's right next to the cheese on my most frequently used emoji tab. I'm really sorry, now is not the time for jokes.</tt>
⚡️[[<tt>Don't worry about it.</tt>|ZapChatAliWorry]]
⚡️[[<tt>Yeah, I'm really cheesed off now.</tt>|ZapChatAliCheesedOff]]
⚡️[[<tt>It's fine. You don't want to know what's on my most frequently used emoji tab.</tt>|ZapChatAliJoke]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Art_Good to $Art_Good - 1)(set: $Ali_Good to $Ali_Good - 1)You couldn't resist. But when the little blue tick informs you that Ali has read - and ignored - the message, you go cold. What sort of person makes a joke like that five minutes before their father's funeral?
⚡️[[<tt>Er, please forget I said that. It's just hard not to make a joke out of everything when I'm so on edge.</tt>|ZapChatAliCheesedOffApologise]]
[[Close the ZapChat app in self-disgust.|PhoneNotifications]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Art_Good to $Art_Good - 1)(set: $Ali_Good to $Ali_Good - 1)You grin as you send the message, but then you remember that you're in the front pew at your father's funeral, and pull your face into a respectable expression of sadness.
You wonder what kind of monster make ZapChat jokes at a time like this.
⚡️[[<tt>Sorry, that was weird. I'm obviously trying to divert my feelings with humour, but it's not working.</tt>|ZapChatAliEmojiApologise]]
[[It's probably not the big deal you're making it out to be. Go back to your phone's home screen.|PhoneNotifications]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
⚡️<tt>I understand, that's my default response to difficult situations too. I'll leave you alone now, but let me know if you want to talk later.</tt>
Ali's icon greys out.
[[Go back to your phone's home screen.|PhoneNotifications]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
⚡️<tt>I'm so sorry. I honestly didn't mean to make a joke. I'm really sorry, now I just want to crawl into a hole and die.</tt>
⚡️<tt>No! FUCK!</tt>
⚡️<tt>Please ignore that last message.</tt>
⚡️<tt>...and all future messages from me. Just forget I exist.</tt>
⚡️<tt>I'm so embarrassed.</tt>
⚡️<tt>...this is why I don't often discuss personal stuff, I'm so terrible at it.</tt>
⚡️[[<tt>Stop making this about you.</tt>|ZapChatAliAboutYou]]
⚡️[[<tt>Honestly, it's fine. I appreciate the thought, and it's good to know I have a friend. An inappropriate, awkward friend.<tt>|ZapChatAliForgive]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $AliChatLeave to true)(set: $Ali_Good to $Ali_Good - 1)⚡️<tt>I know, I know. I just wanted you to know I know it was a bad thing to say, and... Never mind. I'll stop chatting you now. See you Monday.</tt>
You were definitely justified in telling him off. He should think before he types.
Still, as you see his icon grey out, you feel more alone than you have done all day.
[[Go back to your phone's home screen.|PhoneNotifications]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Ali_Good to $Ali_Good + 1)⚡️<tt>I am a human cringe right now. But yes, I am also your friend and if you need anything at all, just say the word.</tt>
<tt>...unless that thing is send coherent messages over ZapChat. Clearly I'm incapable of that.</tt>
His well-meaning ineptitude makes you feel less alone.
[[Go back to your phone's home screen.|PhoneNotifications]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
⚡️<tt>Don't worry, I do that too. I'll let you get back to it, but will be around later if you need anything.</tt>
His icon greys out.
[[Go back to your phone's home screen.|PhoneNotifications]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Dad_Good to $Dad_Good + 1)<em>Oh dad</em>, you think to yourself, and a tear rolls down your cheek.
[[Cry silently as the coffin makes its way up the aisle.|FuneralHighRecover]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Dad_Good to $Dad_Good - 1)You can't bring yourself to turn around.
[[Stare resolutely ahead, keeping your mind blank.|FuneralHighRecover]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Ben_Good to $Ben_Good + 1)<tt>Me too.</tt>
The words on screen are inscrutible, and you can't gauge his tone. But knowing Ben, his words aren't loaded with implcation.
⚡️[[<tt>I should have come down yesterday. Before yesterday. As soon as I heard.</tt>|ZapChatBenRegret]]
[[Put your phone away.|ShipwrightsArms]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Ben_Good to $Ben_Good + 1)<tt>Don't worry about it. See you in a minute.</tt>
Your instinct is to load everything with meaning, but when Ben says something, it almost always means just that. Imploring yourself to take his words literally, you feel a little lighter.
[[Put your phone away.|ShipwrightsArms]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Dad_Good to $Dad_Good - 1)You know this shouldn't matter now, but you can't help it - you're overcome by a deep sense of rejection.
The feeling is even worse when you think about how strained your dad's relationship with his brothers was. You and he might not have spoken much over the last few years, but you never had the kind of rift between you that he did with Terrence... or Steve. Especially Steve. You wonder if the rumours about Steve and your mum were true, and narrow your eyes at him.
[[Let it go. Now is not the time.|PallbearerResigned]]
[[Stare daggers at Steve.|PallbearerSteve]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
You tell yourself that focussing on the reality is the respectful thing to do, but the creeping paranoia starts to wrap its fingers around your chest.
As your eyes settle on the wooden box, you feel your heart speed up. That's your father in there, you realise with a jolt, <em>that's Dad</em>.
[[Keep your eyes - and your mind - on the approaching coffin.|HighPanicMore]]
[[Take some deep breaths and remove your mind, from the reality of the situation.|HighNotPanic]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
You know it's disrespectful not to focus entirely on your father's final journey, but since you made the decision to get stoned, you're now going to have to deal with the consequences. Deciding that a moment's mindfulness is better than having a freakout right here in the front pew of the church, you close your eyes and take your mind to a calm place. You think about...
[[...being a child, and playing in the garden with Ben.|CalmBen]]
[[...strolling along the beach, hand-in-hand with Jules.|CalmJules]]
[[...sitting in companionable silence with Dad as he did the morning crossword.|CalmDad]]
[[...being by yourself, drawing something fantastical.|CalmSelf]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Ben_Good to $Ben_Good + 1)A hazy memory shimmers into view... a cardboard box turned into a spaceship... pillowcase capes... your dad, pretending to be an alien with a ray-gun, chuckling as he sprayed you and Ben with the garden hose...
You can still remember little Ben's shrieks of delight on that happy day. You cast a furtive look towards your younger brother as he stands next to you now, a single tear trembling on the rim of his eyelid.
[[You put an arm round him and pull your attention back to the coffin.|FuneralHighRecover]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
You remember a grey and windswept day not too long ago when the two of you braved the cold to walk along Cliffport's dramatic shingle, huddling close to each other for warmth.
[[You hope you'll get another chance to do it for real.|JulesFuneralRememberBad]]
[[Even though you know you'll never <em>really</em> hold Jules' hand again, you're grateful that you ever did.|JulesFuneralRememberGood]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Dad_Good to $Dad_Good + 1)Your dad was never forthcoming with his feelings... at least not with you. But his ability to concentrate on a problem and carefully think through it had a calming effect on all around him. You realise that this gift was part of what made him such a great teacher.
[[Gradually return your attention to his coffin.|FuneralHighRecover]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Art_Good to $Art_Good + 1)Your heartrate slows as you imagine carefully shading the delicate wings of some mythical creature. Before your carefully shift your mind back to the funeral, you allow yourself a moment to acknowledge the theraputic importance art holds for you.
[[Return your attention to the coffin.|FuneralHighRecover]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
The procession reaches the front of the church. Father Paul starts to speak, but you are fixated on the coffin, which is so covered with flowers that it looks almost organic, like a fallen tree covered in the first blooms of spring. It seems strange to you... before you realise that your only experience of funerals to date comes from repeated viewings of Spock's funeral in <em>The Wrath of Khan</em>, and you half-expect to see the Flag of the Federation draped across your father's coffin.
You flip through the Order of Service, and your stomach lurches when you realise that the eulogy is next. (if: $eulogy is true)[There's no name next to it, but since you told Sam you were going to deliver it, you need to be ready to do so.
[[You wonder how long you've got before you have to stand up.|EulogyConfirmGive]]](elseif: $eulogyno is true)[There's no name next to it, and you wonder who Sam has got to deliver it in your place.
[[You wonder how much longer Father Paul is going to keep talking.|EulogyNotGive]]](else:)[There's no name next to it, but since you haven't discussed the matter with Sam since you first agreed to deliver it, you presume you're still expected to do so.
[[You wonder how long you've got before you have to stand up.|EulogyConfirmGive]]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Jules_Good to $Jules_Good + 1)Just because things didn't work out between you doesn't mean you don't treasure the memories you made with someone as great as Jules.
After all, you tell yourself as you return the attention to the coffin, we're all going the same way as Dad. All that really matters is the time we spend with others while we're here.
[[Strengthened, you return.|FuneralHighRecover]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Jules_Good to $Jules_Good - 1)Maybe one day, you think.
[[You glance briefly at Jules before returning your attention to the coffin.|FuneralHighRecover]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Dad_Good to $Dad_Good + 1)Even though you can feel yourself start to panic, you force yourself to think about the fact that Dad is gone, really gone, and all that's left of him is the empty shell moving ominously closer towards you.
The finality of it clamps down on you.
[[The horror of death grips you, and you can't breathe.|HighDeathHorror]]
[[Regret over everything you ever said - or didn't say - to him hits you with devastating force.|HighRegretDad]]
[[You suddenly realise how much you're going to miss him.|HighMissDad]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Dad_Good to $Dad_Good + 1)Every angry word, every email fired off in haste, every call sent to voicemail... your mind rushes through each one in a sickening montage.
You've been angry at Dad for so long, but only now do you realise how short-sighted, how self-defeating, how <em>wasteful</em> that anger has been. How much it's consumed you.
[[For the first time, you realise you're going to have to deal with your feelings at some point... but today is about Dad.|DadRegretAccept]]
[[The regret overwhelms you.|DadRegretChoke]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Dad_Good to $Dad_Good + 1)All your anger drains away, and your left with a deep sadness. You squeeze your eyes shut, and when you open them, your vision blurred with tears, you see Ben looking at you with a worried expression. You realise you've been crying loudly, and that Ben's so unused to displays of genuine emotion from you that he's unnerved.
[[Pull yourself together.|FuneralGather]]
[[It's no good. Howl in despair.|FuneralDespair]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Art_Good to $Art_Good - 2)Your mind hurtles down a nightmarish tunnel of images: dead bodies, shovelfuls of earth blocking out the light, the eternal nothingness you'll never be able to escape. You can't breathe... it's as if you're being buried alive, shovelfuls of soil and rocks crushing your chest and filling your lungs.
You crumple to the floor in a full-on freakout, feeling hands on you, pulling you down into the ground. You try and wriggle away, but they're too strong. You start hyper-ventilating, but then you hear a voice.
"Get a grip!"
It's Jules, crouched above you.
[[Follow her back to the light.|FreakoutRecover]]
[[The panic is too overwhelming.|FreakoutMore]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Dad_Good to $Dad_Good + 1)You're learning the hard way that you can't just keep blocking your feelings out. If you close the window, they're just going to creep in under the door. When today is over, you tell yourself, you're going to let them in.
[[Resolved, you return your mind to the funeral.|FuneralHighRecover]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
You let out a choking sob, and Ben puts a hand on your shoulder. While you're grateful for his support, you feel terrible that you're crying for yourself, not Dad.
[[You're a horrible person.|HighDadHateSelf]]
[[At least you let yourself feel <em>something</em> for a change.|HighDadForgiveSelf]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Art_Good to $Art_Good - 1)As everyone else in the church thinks about the man in the coffin, you're drowning in a well of self-pity.
[[Feeling irredeemably awful, you drag your attention back to the funeral.|FuneralHighRecover]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Art_Good to $Art_Good + 1)One thing at a time, you think. You can't beat yourself up for having feelings. Gathering yourself together, you sniff, and Ben hands you a tissue.
[[Take the tissue and return your attention to the funeral.|FuneralHighRecover]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Dad_Good to $Dad_Good + 1)Although there's nothing <em>wrong</em> with crying at your dad's funeral, you get control of yourself.
You don't want to push the feelings away, just... save them for later.
[[Recovered, you return your mind to the funeral.|FuneralHighRecover]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Art_Good to $Art_Good + 1)For a moment your body is not your own, and you give into the wave of grief that crashes over you. People are probably looking, but you don't care. It feels good to finally give into your emotions.
The wave of feeling passes, and as you wipe your face with the sleeve of your jacket, you feel lighter, as if you've exorcised something. People are looking at you, but you shrug off their stares. This is a funeral, after all.
[[Stabilised, you return your attention to the funeral.|FuneralHighRecover]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
You focus on her eyes and the firm grip on her hands on your shoulders. You know people must be looking at you, but you push the thought away as you take deep, ragged breaths.
You murmur a word of thanks to Jules as you pull yourself shakily to your feet, staring straight ahead as you stagger back to your pew.
[[You return your attention to the funeral.|FuneralHighRecover]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $wet to true)(set: $Art_Good to $Art_Good - 2)Not even Jules can save you this time. It feels like you're being sucked into the earth... the sensation is so vivid that you can almost feel soil filling your lungs in great damp clumps.
You feel yourself being pulled, and you're too weak to resist.
You regain consciousness a few moments later. Cold raindrops splash your face, and you open your swollen eyes to see you're outside in the graveyard, slumped against the ancient stone of the church.
Blearily, you look up and see Jules beside you. Her hair is wet with rain, and her eyes are wide with fear. You realise she's pulled you outside to recover.
[["You rescued me. Again."|FreakoutBlackoutJules]]
[["I can't go back in there."|FreakoutFail]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
"Don't worry about it," she says grimly. It's a command, not reassurance. "Just get it together."
You open your mouth to thank her, but stop when you see her stony face. Her expression is unreadable, but in her eyes, you think you see...
[[...concern.|JulesFuneralConcern]]
[[...disappointment.|JulesFuneralDisappoint]]
[[...anger.|JulesFuneralAnger]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Art_Good to $Art_Good - 1)(set: $Jules_Good to $Jules_Good - 1)Jules takes a step towards you, but you turn and run, through the graveyard, out of the gate, past the Flying Dutchman and down the hill overlooking the harbour, the rain lashing at your face.
Your lungs burn, but you keep going, your shoes slipping on the cold mud that splashes your legs and seeps through your clothes, chilling you to the bone. You feel you could run forever, but you crash to a stop at the waist-high fence that stops ramblers and dog-walkers from tumbling down the chalky cliff to the harbour below.
You lean against the fence and catch your breath, soaked to the skin.
[[You're so angry with yourself you can barely breathe.|HighRunHate]]
[[There has to be a way to salvage this.|HighRunSalvage]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Jules_Good to $Jules_Good + 1)For a moment, you see yourself as she must see you, and imagine what it must have been like for her to watch all those times you went into a dark place. You appreciate how difficult it must have been.
For her sake, you pull yourself upright, and walk back into the church, and ignore the heads that turn towards you.
[[Return to your pew.|FuneralHighRecover]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
Jules may well be disappointed in you, but nowhere near as disappointed as you feel in youself. You avoid her gaze as you make your way back into the church as quietly as you can.
[[Return to your pew.|FuneralHighRecover]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Jules_Good to $Jules_Good - 1)You imagine waves of rage pulsating off her. Hell, in your current state, you can almost <em>see</em> them. Who is she to judge, you think, turning your back on her and staggering into the church.
[[Return to your pew.|FuneralHighRecover]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
Closing your eyes, you think about the way you've handled everything today.
Even though not everything went wrong (if: $JulesCoffee is true)[ - you'd probably have done something even worse if you'd met up with Ben before the funeral - ](else:)[](if: $BenMeet is true)[ - you'd probaby have done something even worse if you'd got coffee with Jules - ](else:)[](if: $FuneralDirect is true)[ - you'd probably have done something even worse if you'd spent time with Jules or Ben before the funeral - ](else:)[]the fact that you got high, freaked out, and ran away from your dad's funeral makes this possibly the worst day of your life.
(if: $Ali_Good < -1)[You realise that even though you barely speak outside ZapChat, Ali was probably your closest friend... and you've pushed even <em>him</em> away.](elseif: $Ali_Good > +2)[At least you feel a bit closer to Ali... though that might just be because he wasn't here to witness your awful behaviour.](else:)[You could have had a friend in Ali, and maybe even moved your relationship beyond the realm of ZapChat, but maybe it's too late for that now.]
(if: $Ben_Good < -1)[As your brother and closest ally during childhood, you should have been there for Ben today, but you've been distant, at best.](elseif: $Ben_Good > +2)[You feel closer to Ben than you have in years, which somehow makes you feel worse about abandoning him like this.](else:)[Ben's always been sincere, and you could have bridged the gulf between you today, but you just couldn't bring yourself to say what needed to be said.]
(if: $Jo_Good < -3)[Sam's a piece of work, no doubt about that. But by antagonising her, you've just proven her right about what a fuckup you are.](elseif: $Jo_Good > +2)[You really felt like you were getting somewhere with Sam today, but of course you had to ruin it.](else:)[There's no love lost between you and Sam today. If you running out gives her a sick sense of satisfaction, so be it.]
(if: $Jules_Good < -6)[You physically cringe to think of the way you've behaved towards Jules today. If you'd just accept it was over between you rather than pathetically grasp at the prospect of reconciliation, you'd have a lot more self-respect.](elseif: $Jules_Good > +1)[Things could have gone worse with Jules today. At least you've preserved an iota of self-respect by not desperately trying to get back together with her.](else:)[Although you tell yourself you didn't completely humiliate yourself in front of Jules today, you haven't make much of an effort to respect her decision to end your relationship.]
(if: $Dad_Good < -1)[It was your dad's <em>funeral</em> today, and you got high and ran away. You didn't even try to pay your respects. Whatever your differences were in life, nothing can ever make up for the way you've treated him in death.](elseif: $Dad_Good > +1)[Although you made a minimal effort to show your father's memory some respect, that doesn't change the fact that you got high at his funeral... and then ran away.](else:)[It was your dad's <em>funeral</em> today, and you got high and ran away. Nothing can ever make up for this.]
(if: $Art_Good < -10)[Worst of all, almost everything you've done today, even the secret thoughts you've had and the little actions no-one else has seen, has dented your own self-worth... maybe for good.](elseif: $Art_Good > 0)[You made some effort to preserve your fragile self-worth... but you've undone any good you did by your cowardly flight.](else:)[Your already fragile self-worth has taken a further battering today, and your cowardly flight was the final nail in the coffin.]
There's just one tiny chance left for redemption.
[[Get out your phone.|PhoneEnd]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
In your mind, you picture how it would look to return to the funeral now, soaking wet and covered in mud... ten minutes after a very public freakout.
Terrible. It would look <em>terrible</em>.
[[There's no way you could go back in there after this.|HighRunHate]]
[[Fuck it. You decide you don't care what anyone else thinks.|HighRunFuckIt]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $CliffReturn to true)(set: $Art_Good to $Art_Good + 1)You stand facing the sea, letting the howling wind and lashing rain do their worst.
The whole situation is so dire that you start to laugh, and your laughter soon turns into a hysterical roar that wracks your entire body. The situation could not possibly deteriorate further, and the thought is so liberating that you feel you could jump off this cliff now and fly, rather than fall.
You won't do that though. Not now, and for the the first time in a long time, you think not ever. If you can come back from something like this, you can do anything.
Running a hand through your saturated hair, you stride back up the hill, your ruined shoes slipping in the mud. Although you hesitate for a moment before stepping back into the church, you feel strangely empowered by your adventure. Who cares what they think.
[[Make your way, dripping, back to your pew.|HighReturnPew]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Dad_Good to $Dad_Good - 1)If this is what your dad wanted, you think, it's best to just accept it.
[[...unless this arrangement was <em>Sam's</em> idea.|PallbearerSam]]
[[It's not as if you'd have wanted to do it anyway.|PallbearerDontWant]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Art_Good to $Art_Good - 1)Steve was always your least favourite uncle.
[[Return your attention to the funeral.|FuneralHighRecover]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Jo_Good to $Jo_Good - 1)You narrow your eyes at Sam, now crying silent tears with her eyes fixed on the procession. She wouldn't be petty enough to go against her husband's dying wishes... would she?
[[You're pretty sure she would.|PallbearerSamEvil]]
[[Of course not. You make a mental note to deal with your anger towards her.|PallbearerSamSensible]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Dad_Good to $Dad_Good + 1)(set: $Art_Good to $Art_Good + 1)It's quite possible that Dad thought about asking you to do it, but decided against it because he knew you'd find it too difficult, after everything.
He's right, you think sadly.
(if: $eulogy is true)[[[You're glad you're giving the eulogy, at least.|EulogyYesGlad]]
[[The thought makes you nervous about giving the eulogy.|EulogyYesSad]]](elseif: $eulogyno is true)[[[You're glad you're not giving the eulogy, either.|EulogyNoGlad]]
[[You suddenly wish you were at least giving a eulogy.|EulogyNoSad]]](else:)[[[You sit down and face the front of the church.|FuneralHighRecover]]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
You add this slight to the extremely long list of reasons to hate Sam that you've been building since you were a teenager.
If you didn't know better, you'd wonder whether you were just looking for reasons to justify your dislike of her. That's definitely not the case though. Definitely.
[[Return your attention to the funeral.|FuneralHighRecover]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Art_Good to $Art_Good + 1)You don't want to admit to yourself that she might not be all bad, but it's got to be better than holding onto this burning rage.
[[Return your attention to the funeral.|FuneralHighRecover]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Dad_Good to $Dad_Good + 1)(set: $Art_Good to $Art_Good + 1)(if: $high is true)[You're definitely nervous about giving the eulogy - especially so in your current state - but you'll feel better having done it.](else:)[You're definitely nervous about giving the eulogy but you'll feel better having done it.]
[[Return your attention to the funeral.|FuneralHighRecover]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(if: $high is true)[What were you thinking, smoking that joint? Weed makes it hard to string a sentence together at the best of times. Oh well. Regrets won't help you now.](else:)[It's natural to be nervous, you tell yourself. Just keep it together, and get through this.]
[[Return your attention to the funeral.|FuneralHighRecover]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Dad_Good to $Dad_Good - 1)(set: $Art_Good to $Art_Good - 1)(if: $high is true)[There's no way you could give a eulogy now anyway, you're far too high.](else:)[Maybe it would be better in the long run if you spoke today, but you don't know if you'd be able to manage it.]
[[Return your attention to the funeral.|FuneralHighRecover]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Dad_Good to $Dad_Good + 1)(set: $Art_Good to $Art_Good + 1)(if: $high is true)[Even though you're high, you wonder if it would be a good idea to stand up and do it anyway.](else:)[You wonder if there's still time to change your mind.]
[[Return your attention to the funeral.|FuneralHighRecover]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $wet to true)You're as quiet as possible, but you feel the eyes of the congregation upon you. Trying to muster an air of quiet dignity, you squeeze yourself back between Ben and Elsie, who flinches as your cold wet sleeve brushes against her arm.
Father Paul is talking, but you are fixated on the coffin, which is so covered with flowers that it looks almost organic, like a fallen tree covered in the first blooms of spring. It seems strange to you... before you realise that your only experience of funerals to date comes from repeated tearful viewings of Spock's funeral in <em>The Wrath of Khan</em>, and you half-expected to see the Flag of the Federation draped across the coffin.
You flip through the Order of Service, and your stomach lurches when you realise that the eulogy is next.
(if: $eulogy is true)[There's no name next to it, but since you told Sam you were going to deliver it, you need to be ready to do so.
[[You wonder how long you've got before you have to stand up.|EulogyConfirmGive]]](elseif: $eulogyno is true)[There's no name next to it, and you wonder who Sam has got to deliver it in your place.
[[You wonder how much longer Father Paul is going to keep talking.|EulogyNotGive]]](else:)[There's no name next to it, but since you haven't discussed the matter with Sam since you first agreed to deliver it, you presume you're still expected to do so.
[[You wonder how long you've got before you have to stand up.|EulogyConfirmGive]]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
You ignore ZapChat and E-Zee Mail, and go straight to the Astronomica Studios site. (if: $AstronomicaApp is false)[Even after everything that's gone wrong today, there's still time to submit your application for the Junior Character Artist position.](else:)[Even after everything that's gone wrong today, there's still time to submit your application.]
(if: $Art_Good < -10)[[[What are you thinking? You're high as a kite. You'll never be able to do this now.|AstronomicaFail]]](elseif: $Art_Good > 0)[[[You whisper some silent words of encouragement to yourself before clicking on your application.|AstronomicaFinal]]](else:)[[[You sigh. Here goes nothing.|AstronomicaFinal]]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
All you have to do is submit your portfolio and personal statement.
(if: $PortfolioFinal is false)[[[You uploaded your portfolio weeks ago, but it's best to take one last look at it.|FinalPortfolio]]](else:)[There's nothing else you can do on your portfolio.]
(if: $StatementFinal is false)[(if: $StatementDraft is true)[[[You've already drafted the statement, so take one last read through at it before submitting it.|FinalDraft]]](else:)[[[You still need to draft the statement.|FirstDraft]]]](else:)[There's nothing else you can do on your statement.]
(if: $StatementFinal is true and $PortfolioFinal is true)[[[Submit your application.|SumbitFinal]]](else:)[]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
Without even looking at your application, you scroll right to the bright red <strong>DELETE</strong> button at the bottom of the page, feeling a strange sucking sensation as you click it, as if cabin pressure has dropped and the air is rushing out of your lungs.
That's it, you think. Once again, you ran from the possibility of failure into the familiar embrace of just, well, not trying. It's better here, you think, trudging back up the hill through the rain. No-one can ever hurt me if I don't ever admit to myself that I want anything.
Today has been just as bad, if not worse, than you were dreading.
[[<strong>The End</strong>|End]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $StatementFinal to true)The text you wrote in the Budget Lodge earlier this morning appears on the screen.
<tt>I've studied the evolution of the Astronomica art style since I began playing, and am excited about the recent move to a more bio-mechanical aesthetic. As you can see from my portfolio, it's something I'm keen to help the team develop.
While I do not have any formal artistic qualifications, I have worked hard to improve my design and technical skills alongside full-time work, and would relish the opportunity to discuss them with you further.</tt>
You can't think of anything better to write, and given that you're high, it's probably best that you don't try to edit it.
[[Go back to the careers page.|AstronomicaFinal]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $StatementFinal to true)It's hard to write when you're high, but you do your best.
<tt>Ive studied the evovolution of the astronomica art style since I been playing, and enthralled about the recent moove to a more biologymechanical style. as you see from my Portfolio, its' something I keen too help you developp.
i do not have formal artististic qualfications, butt I have worked too better my drawing and drawing skills while at work, and would like to talk to you about it.</tt>
That looks fine, you think. Let's just get this thing off.
[[Go back to the careers page.|AstronomicaFinal]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $PortfolioFinal to true)You have to wave your phone around over your head to get enough signal to load your portfolio, but when the images finally appear on the screen, you find it hard to summon much of an opinion about them. They fit the brief - an array of biomechanical monsters and space cadets - but you've looked at them so much over the last few weeks that you can no longer tell whether they're any good.
[[Go back to the careers page.|AstronomicaFinal]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
That's it. The only thing you can do now is choose one of the two glowing buttons at the bottom of the screen.
[[<strong>DELETE</strong>|DeleteApplication1]]
[[<strong>SUBMIT</strong>|SubmitApplication1]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
You click the <strong>DELETE</strong> button, and feel a strange sucking sensation, as if cabin pressure has dropped and the air is rushing out of your lungs.
That's it, you think. Once again, you ran from the possibility of failure into the familiar embrace of just, well, not trying. It's better here, you think, trudging back up the hill through the rain. No-one can ever hurt me if I don't ever admit to myself that I want anything.
Today has been just as bad, if not worse, than you were dreading.
[[<strong>The End</strong>|End]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
You don't realise you've been holding your breath until the loading animation finishes and a notification appears confirming sucessful sumbission. As you exhale, you experience an unusual sensation, one you haven't felt for as long as you can remember. As if catching sight of a long-lost, much-aged friend, you suddenly recognise the feeling as <em>hope</em>, and you are dizzy with the awareness of the years that have passed since you last saw its face.
Even if nothing comes of the application, and yours is buried beneath a pile of polished entries from digital art graduates half a decade younger than you, completing it at all was like admitting to yourself that your future matters.
Now you've taken a chance on one thing, you almost feel empowered to start doing other things... but not today.
[[<strong>The End</strong>|End]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
As if triggered by your thoughts, Father Paul clears his throat.
"And now, Phillip's eldest has written a few words."
The aged vicar steps down from the rickety pulpit, and you go cold as you realise it's time for you to speak. You didn't write any notes, having composed the eulogy in your head on the train down to Cliffport last night. That's probably for the best, you think.
[[You want to speak from the heart.|EulogyGiveGood]]
[[This way you can say what you <em>really</em> feel... Things you might not have had the guts to write down.|EulogyGiveBad]]
(if: $high is true)[[[Even though the peak of your high has come and gone, you want to let your chemically-altered mind free to go where it wants.|EulogyGiveHigh]]](else:)[]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Derrick to true)As if triggered by your thoughts, Father Paul clears his throat.
"And now Derrick Russell, Phillip's oldest friend, has written a few words."
The aged vicar steps down from the rickety pulpit and a tall, good-looking man you dimly recognise stands to take his place.
[[You're gripped by a sudden urge to rush up there ahead of him and deliver your eulogy after all.|EulogyHijack]]
[[Relieved that someone else will be speaking, you relax a little. It's best that Dad is honoured by someone who really knew him.|EulogyListenGood]]
[[You're glad you don't have to stand up and spout platitudes.|EulogyListenBad]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Dad_Good to $Dad_Good - 1)(set: $Art_Good to $Art_Good - 1)(if: $wet is true)[Still dripping wet, you leap up from your pew and rush towards the pulpit, slamming your hands down on the ancient wood before Derrick can reach it.](else:)[Almost as if your body has been possessed, you leap up from your pew and rush towards the pulpit, slamming your hands down on the ancient wood before Derrick can reach it.]
Suddenly facing the congregation, you're struck by the same stage fright you were at school when made to speak in front of the class.
[[Sit back down and hear what Derrick has to say.|DerrickLet]]
[[Deliver your eulogy.|StealSpotlight]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Dad_Good to $Dad_Good + 1)"Although we gather here today to grieve for a man who bravely fought against a cruel illness, many of us will remember him as he was before: a great teacher, a pillar of the community, and a devoted father."
[[You let out an involuntary snort at the idea of his fatherly devotion... and disguise it as a sneeze.|EulogyYeahRight]]
[[You wonder if there may have been a discrepancy between the way he spoke to you... and the way he spoke about you.|EulogyWonder]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Dad_Good to $Dad_Good - 1)"Although we gather here today to grieve for a man who bravely fought against a cruel illness, many of us will remember him as he was before: a great teacher, a pillar of the community, and a devoted father."
[[You let out an involuntary snort at the idea of his fatherly devotion... and disguise it as a sneeze.|EulogyYeahRight]]
[[You wonder if there may have been a discrepancy between the way he spoke to you... and the way he spoke about you.|EulogyWonder]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Dad_Good to $Dad_Good - 1)Dad might have been devoted to Elsie and Nicholas, you think, and maybe even affectionate towards compliant Ben, but he certainly wasn't devoted to his oldest child.
Derrick continues talking, but you're no longer listening. Instead you're thinking about every argument you ever had with your father. Even before Sam came onto the scene, he fought with you about your clothes, your friends, your refusal to go to church, and your decision to pursue art rather than something more practical.
[[If only you'd talked more. You could have allayed his fears about... some of those things, at least.|EulogyFears]]
[[Even if he meant well, his judgement and short-sightedness pushed you away.|EulogyJudgement]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Dad_Good to $Dad_Good + 1)Even before Sam came on to the scene, the two of you fought, but now you look on those arguments from a different perspective.
Maybe he wanted you to dress more conventionally so you'd find it easier to get a job? Maybe he didn't like your friends because he didn't want you damaging your future with drugs? Maybe he just wanted you to go to church so you could experience the same community and emotional security that he did? And maybe he didn't want you becoming an artist because it's an unstable, uncertain life.
[[If only you'd talked more. You could have allayed his fears about... some of those things, at least.|EulogyFears]]
[[Even if he meant well, his judgement and short-sightedness pushed you away.|EulogyJudgement]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Dad_Good to $Dad_Good + 1)Even if you could never have convinced him to fully accept your choices, maybe if you'd been a little bit more sensitive to his concerns, your life wouldn't be such a mess. He'd probably have been kinder if you hadn't given him the impression that you rejected absolutely everything he stood for.
<em>I'm sorry Dad</em>, you think as the tears roll down your cheeks.
[[You cry silently.|CrySilently]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Dad_Good to $Dad_Good - 1)You've felt alone ever since your childhood came to an end, and it's all because his love and support were so conditional. He was so convinced that his way was the <em>best</em> way that he tried to crush your every attempt to be yourself. No wonder you ended up becoming such a mess.
You start to cry, but you're shedding tears of self-pity, not grief.
[[The tears fall silently down your cheeks.|CrySilently]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
You've been so lost in your thoughts that you don't even notice that Derrick has finished speaking and everyone around you is standing, and the organist is playing the introduction of "Be Thou My Vision".
[[Stand to sing the hymn.|Hymn]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
Cheeks burning, you mutter an apology and slope back to your seat.(if: $wet is true)[What with this and your very public freakout just a few minutes ago, your behaviour must be making the congregation wonder about your sanity. Although... this is a church. You could probably tell people you've been possessed.](else:)[]
Derrick gives you a nervous look, and then gathers himself, resuming his place at the pulpit.
"Although we gather here today to grieve for a man who bravely fought against a cruel illness," he says, "many of us will remember him as he was before: a great teacher, a pillar of the community, and a devoted father."
[[You let out an involuntary snort at the idea of his fatherly devotion... and disguise it as a sneeze.|EulogyYeahRight]]
[[You wonder if there may have been a discrepancy between the way he spoke to you... and the way he spoke about you.|EulogyWonder]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
Derrick meets your eye and nods, returning quietly to his pew. For a moment you wonder when Sam asked him to step in, and whether he knew you'd decide to speak anyway.
But then you turn your attention back to the congregation; it's time for you to speak. You didn't write any notes, having composed your words in your head on the train down to Cliffport last night. That's probably for the best, you think.
[[You want to speak from the heart.|EulogyGiveGood]]
[[This way you can say what you <em>really</em> feel... Things you might not have had the guts to write down.|EulogyGiveBad]]
(if: $high is true)[[[Even though the peak of your high has come and gone, you want to let your chemically-altered mind free to go where it wants.|EulogyGiveHigh]]](else:)[]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Dad_Good to $Dad_Good + 1)You clear your throat and start to speak.
"Dad was a teacher," you say, falteringly. "Some of you here were his students, some were his colleagues, and some were his friends. Four of us here today were his children. But I'm sure that whoever you are, Dad taught you something... whether it was his job to or not."
You hadn't meant it as a joke, but a low murmer of laughter ripples across the room. Slightly unnerved, you continue.
[["The most important lesson he taught me was to stand up for what I believed in."|EulogyMeGood]]
[["The main thing I learned from my dad is that you can't rely on anyone."|EulogyMeBad]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)
Eulogy: (print: $Eulogy_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Dad_Good to $Dad_Good - 1)Momentarily unnerved by the upturned faces of the congregation, you gather yourself and start to speak.
"Dad was a teacher," you say, falteringly. "Some of you here were his students, some were his colleagues, and some were his friends. Four of us here today were his children. But I'm sure that whoever you are, Dad taught you something... whether it was his job to or not."
You hadn't meant it as a joke, but a low murmer of laughter ripples across the room. Slightly unnerved, you continue.
[["The most important lesson he taught me was to stand up for what I believed in."|EulogyMeGood]]
[["The main thing I learned from my dad is that you can't rely on anyone."|EulogyMeBad]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)
Eulogy: (print: $Eulogy_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Dad_Good to $Dad_Good - 1)None of this feels real. You open your mouth and start to speak.
"Dad... was a <em>teacher</em>," you say, falteringly. "Some of you here were... He was a teacher, and some of you... some of you..."
Your own voice always sounds alien when you're high, and the strong acoustics of the ancient church are making it sound even stranger.
[[Get it together.|EulogyGather]]
[[Give up and sit down.|EulogyGiveUp]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Eulogy_Good to $Eulogy_Good + 1)(set: $Dad_Good to $Dad_Good + 1)"He never wavered in his own beliefs: in the importance of education, in taking responsibility for yourself, in God. He lived in the way he thought was right, and in so doing led by example... So I learned to do the same."
[["Even though he made it clear that my beliefs made me a huge disappointment to him..."|EulogyMBeliefsBad]]
[["Even though he didn't always understand my choices..."|EulogyMBeliefsGood]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)
Eulogy: (print: $Eulogy_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Eulogy_Good to $Eulogy_Good - 1)(set: $Dad_Good to $Dad_Good - 1)"For example, I always thought I could depend on his love and support, no matter what happened, but he showed me that I had to work for it."
[["Even though he made it clear that I was a huge disappointment to him..."|EulogyMBeliefsBad]]
[["Even though he didn't always understand my choices..."|EulogyMBeliefsGood]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)
Eulogy: (print: $Eulogy_Good)]
(else:)[]
You close your eyes and breathe deeply. The worst of the high has past, and you can overcome the remnants. Just picture them all in their underwear, you think as you open your eyes and look out on the congregation.
"Dad was a teacher," you say again. "Some of you here were his students, some were his colleagues, and some were his friends. Four of us here today were his children. But I'm sure that whoever you are, Dad taught you something... whether it was his job to or not."
You hadn't meant it as a joke, but a low murmer of laughter ripples across the room. Slightly unnerved, you continue.
[["The most important lesson he taught me was to stand up for what I believed in."|EulogyMeGood]]
[["The main thing I learned from my dad is that you can't rely on anyone."|EulogyMeBad]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Dad_Good to $Dad_Good - 1)"I'm sorry..." you trail off, and almost fall back to your pew in the front row. With any luck, everyone will think you're overcome with grief, not under the influence of anything stronger.
(if: $Derrick is true)[Derrick resumes his place and starts to speak.](else:)[Your father's oldest friend Derrick, whom you recognise as one of the pall-bearers, steps up to the pulpit. Sam must have asked him to prepare something as backup, you think. He starts to speak.]
"Although we gather here today to grieve for a man who bravely fought against a cruel illness," he says, "many of us will remember him as he was before: a great teacher, a pillar of the community, and a devoted father."
[[You let out an involuntary snort at the idea of his fatherly devotion... and disguise it as a sneeze.|EulogyYeahRight]]
[[You wonder if there may have been a discrepancy between the way he spoke to you... and the way he spoke about you.|EulogyWonder]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Eulogy_Good to $Eulogy_Good - 1)(set: $Dad_Good to $Dad_Good - 1)"...I guess he only did that so I'd learn how to look after myself."
[["I don't always get things right, but thanks to him..."|EulogyThanksGood]]
[["Although I wish he'd been less judgemental..."|EulogyThanksBad]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)
Eulogy: (print: $Eulogy_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Eulogy_Good to $Eulogy_Good + 1)(set: $Dad_Good to $Dad_Good + 1)"...in a way, I made them because of him. He showed me that if you don't live in a way that feels right, you're only leading a shadow of a life."
[["I don't always get things right, but thanks to him..."|EulogyThanksGood]]
[["Although I wish he'd been less judgemental..."|EulogyThanksBad]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)
Eulogy: (print: $Eulogy_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Eulogy_Good to $Eulogy_Good + 1)(set: $Dad_Good to $Dad_Good + 1)"...I know that the important thing is to keep trying." You pause. "That's because the other lesson he taught me, as he taught so many of us... is that learning never ends."
You look out at the congregation through a haze of tears. You feel unable to go on, so it's probably for the best that you didn't write any more.
[[Sit back down.|EulogySitDown]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)
Eulogy: (print: $Eulogy_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Eulogy_Good to $Eulogy_Good - 1)(set: $Dad_Good to $Dad_Good - 1)"...he was at least consistent. I was never surprised by his constant dismissal of my friends, my art, and my feelings."
The congregation look slightly stunned, so it's probably for the best that you haven't written any more.
[[Sit back down.|EulogySitDown]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)
Eulogy: (print: $Eulogy_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $DidEulogy to true)(if: $Eulogy_Good is 3)[Ben puts a hand on your arm as you return to your pew.
Although your relationship with Dad was a lot more fraught than your eulogy made it out to be, speaking kindly about him was the only thing that felt right. He might not have been around to hear it, but you feel as if you've built a bridge over the chasm that separated the two of you.
Father Paul looks at you kindly before speaking.
"Thank you for those lovely words. Now, please all stand for the hymn."](elseif: $Eulogy_Good is -3)[You're glad you don't believe in hell, because standing up in church and spewing venom like that seems like a pretty good way of getting fast-tracked. You can't bring yourself to look at Ben, or anyone else.
Father Paul hesitates slightly before speaking.
"Please, ah, stand. For the hymn."](else:)[That could probably have gone better, you think as you return to your pew. While you didn't completely desecrate your father's memory on holy ground, you didn't exactly give him the generous sendoff that, for all his faults, he probably deserved.
Father Paul hesitates slightly before speaking.
"Please all stand for the hymn."]
[[Stand shakily as the organist plays the introduction to "Be Thou My Vision".|Hymn]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)
Eulogy: (print: $Eulogy_Good)]
(else:)[]
The sound of hundreds of voices singing the majestic hymn makes your eyes prickle with fresh tears.
[[The one thing you miss about church is the hymns.|MissHymns]]
[[You brush them away angrily. Church is so phoney.|HateChurch]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Art_Good to $Art_Good + 1)(set: $Dad_Good to $Dad_Good + 1)Yelling along to anthems with thousands of other metal fans is intoxicating, but voices raised in song to wish someone on their way fills you with an altogether different kind of warmth.
Even though you don't take the words literally, the sentiment is beautiful.
[[The rest of the ceremony passes in a blur.|CeremonyBlur]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Art_Good to $Art_Good - 1)(set: $Dad_Good to $Dad_Good - 1)You can't help but compare the experience of singing along with the hymn to the last time you went to a metal festival. There, thousands of people also belted out the lyrics, but they <em>meant every word</em>. You don't believe for a moment that everyone else in the church really believes your dad is off to the kingdom of heaven, and you grit your teeth against the hypocrisy.
[[The rest of the ceremony passes in a blur.|CeremonyBlur]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
There's a fire burning behind the wrought iron grate at the Flying Dutchman, and the pub is almost deliciously warm after the harsh autumnal weather outside.
Blinking raindrops out of your eyes, you look around the room. Jules is over at the bar, Sam is pulling clingfilm off the trays at the buffet table, and Ben is looking out of the window. It's still early, and you'll have a chance to talk to everyone you want to before it's time to go home.
(if: $JulesWake is false)[[[Talk to Jules.|Wake Jules]]
](else:)[You've already spoken to Jules.
](if: $SamWake is false)[[[Talk to Sam.|WakeSam]]
](else:)[You've already spoken to Sam.
](if: $BenWake is false)[[[Talk to Ben.|WakeBen]]
](else:)[You've already spoken to Ben.
](if: $mail300 is true and $zap300 is true)[You've already checked your notifications.](else:)[[[Check your phone for new notifications.|PhoneHome1]]]
[[Send off your Astronomica Studios application before the deadline.|PhoneAstronomica1]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
It's still raining when the congregation files outside for the burial(if: $wet is true)[, but since you're still wet from your earlier escape from the church, you don't bother sharing an umbrella with anyone, and stand slightly off to the side by yourself.](else:)[, but you don't feel like sharing an umbrella with anyone, and so stand slightly off to the side by yourself.]
As Father Paul offers a final blessing, you...
[[...stand in respectful silence.|FuneralSilence]]
[[...wonder how long it'll be before you can leave.|FuneralLeave]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Dad_Good to $Dad_Good + 1)The words of the blessing don't mean anything to you, but they would have meant something to Dad, so you quietly listen, allowing the words to remain in your mind.
When the burial ends, you follow the crowd of people heading back across the road to the Flying Dutchman for the wake.
[[Go to the wake.|Wake]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Dad_Good to $Dad_Good - 1)It's not the cold and the wet, but the pain and the awkwardness that make you want to escape back to London. The sooner you can go...
[[...the sooner you can put this awful day behind you.|EscapeBad]]
[[...the sooner you can start dealing with your feelings.|EscapeGood]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
You feel you can't stand any more, but when the burial ends and everyone files across the road to the Flying Dutchman for the wake, you allow yourself to be carried along with them.
[[Go to the wake.|Wake]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Art_Good to $Art_Good + 1)Being here is almost overwhelming, and you feel saturated with emotion. You're not sure you can take much more, and you just want to go home to decompress.
But when the burial ends, you are carried along by the crowd of people heading back across the road to the Flying Dutchman for the wake.
[[Go to the wake.|Wake]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $JulesWake to true)Jules sees you approaching and excuses herself from the person she's talking to. She's here for <em>you</em>, after all.
(if: $DidEulogy is true)[[["What did you think of my eulogy?"|JulesWakeEulogyGive]]](else:)[[["What did you think of the eulogy?"|JulesWakeEulogyNotGive]]]
[["Can we go somewhere more private for a moment?"|JulesWakePrivate]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $SamWake to true)Sam's so engrossed in preparing the buffet table that she doesn't notice you until you're right next to her.
(if: $DidEulogy is true)[(if: $Eulogy_Good is 3)[When she sees you, she smiles, though up close you can that beneath her immaculate makeup, her face is red and swollen. You've spent so much of your life envisioning your stepmother as an unassailable adversary, that her vulnerability unnerves you, and you're lost for words.
Luckily, she's not. "I wanted to thank you for your eulogy... I know I shouldn't say this, but I was worried about you doing it... I didn't know if..."
[["I know I can be a bit... you know... but I wanted to do the right thing."|SamEulogyAcknowkedge]]
[["There's no need to thank me, I didn't do it for you."|SamEulogyDismiss]]
[[Mumble an acknowledgement, then return to the centre of the room.|Wake2]]](elseif: $Eulogy_Good is -3)[When she sees you, her knuckles go white on the knife she's using to slice a quiche into precise eighths. Her perfecty made-up eyes narrow, and she fixes you with a viscious stare.
"How <em>could</em> you?", she hisses. "Actually, don't answer. You're just <em>missing</em> whatever it is that enables everyone else to act like decent human beings."
[["Takes one to know one."|SamEulogyOhSnap]]
[["I'm sorry, alright? I didn't mean to, I just..."|SamEulogyFlustered]]
[[Slope back to the middle of the room.|Wake2]]](else:)[When she sees you, she becomes flustered, dropping a spoon into a bowl of dressing, where it sinks without trace.
[["Do you need help?"|SamWakeHelp]]
[[Slope back to the middle of the room.|Wake2]]]](else:)[(if: $Jo_Good < -2)[She glances up quickly, then turns her gaze back to the garnish she's trying to affix to a paté.
"Wasn't Derrick's eulogy lovely?", she says in a measured tone that anyone who didn't know her might think was matter-of-fact. "I just think it's so nice that someone who really knew and cared about Phillip could give such a fitting tribute."
[["It never ends with you, does it? What kind of sick pleasure do you get from saying shit like that to me?"|SamShit]]
[["I'm sorry I didn't speak, I just didn't feel up to it."|SamEulogyNotGiveApologise]]
[["Have you got a moment?"|SamWakeEulogyNotGive]]
[[Slope back to the middle of the room.|Wake2]]](elseif: $Jo_Good > +1)[As she catches sight of you, she gives you an uncertain smile. "Is everything alright?", she asks, fiddling with the enormous ring still displayed on her perfectly-manicured wedding finger. "I hope you don't mind that I asked Derrick to prepare something just in case, it's just..."
[["I completely understand, I'd have done the same thing."|SamEulogyUnderstand]]
[["I don't really care."|SamEulogyDontCare]]
[["Have you got a moment?"|SamWakeEulogyNotGive]]
[[Slope back to the middle of the room.|Wake2]]](else:)[She gives you a chilly smile of acknowledgement. "Do you need anything?"
You're unnerved by the blankness of the question far more than you would have been by the barbed insult you were expecting.
[["Have you got a moment?"|SamWakeEulogyNotGive]]
[[Slope back to the middle of the room.|Wake2]]]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $BenWake to true)Ben is staring out over Cliffport harbour, where far in the distance, a sheet of rain cuts across the water. He seems lost in his thoughts, but when he sees you, (if: $DidEulogy is true)[(if: $Eulogy_Good is 3)[he smiles. All Ben's smiles are genuine - you never have to check his eyes to make sure - but this one is full of warmth. "I was just thinking about your eulogy," he says. "I wouldn't have known what to say... I know our experiences were very different, and I had an easier relationship with Dad, but I recognised him in your words. I think he'd have liked it."
Even if no-one else liked the eulogy, you think, it means so much to you that Ben did.
[["Can we talk in private for a moment?"|BenTalkPrivateGoodEulogy]]
[[You're just not ready to say what you really feel, so you smile and walk away.|Wake2]]](elseif: $Eulogy_Good is -3)[an unfamiliar hardness comes into his eyes. You flash back to your eulogy, and go cold. You didn't think how it might feel for Ben to hear you say those things about Dad. "Hi," you say uncertainly, then trail off, lost for words.
"Hi," replies Ben, blankly. His silence is somehow worse than any angry words would be.
[["Erm, can we talk in private for a moment?"|BenTalkPrivateBadEulogy]]
[[Too daunted by his silence to continue, you nod and walk away.|Wake2]]](else:)[he nods, almost respectfully. His seriousness as a child was endearing, but his self-control as an adult is unnerving. "Is everything ok?", you ask, stupidly, to the young man who has just buried his father.
But as ever, Ben takes your inane question at face value. "I feel a bit dazed right now, but I'll be alright eventually. I was just thinking about the eulogy..." You cringe, but there's no anger in his words. "It's hard for me to remember how different our experiences were, growing up. In many ways I guess I had it easier." He gives an almost imperceptible shrug.
[["Ben... can we talk in private for a moment?"|BenTalkRegularEulogy]]
[[You regret the harsh words you let slip during the eulogy, and, not wanting to talk about it any more, retreat to the centre of the room.|Wake2]]]](else:)[he gives the ghost of a smile. There were things you wanted to say to him, but now you're suddenly lost for words. He seems to sense your awkwardness, and steps in. "I thought Derrick gave a nice eulogy."
[["Yeah, it was nice."|BenEulogyNoGiveFine]]
[["I guess... Kind of wish I'd given it though.|BenEulogyNoGiveRegret]]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(if: $PhoneWakeCheck is false)[You find a secluded table in the corner of the pub and pull out your phone.](else:)[You gaze wistfully at the Sputnik satellite on your home screen for a moment before continuing.]
(if: $mail300 is false)[[[Check your mails.|Mails300]]](else:)[...you've already checked your mails.]
(if: $zap300 is false)[[[Open ZapChat.|ZapChat300]]](else:)[...you've already checked ZapChat.]
(if: $mail300 is true and $zap300 is true)[[[Put your phone away.|Wake]]](else:)[]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $ApplicationWake to true)You navigate straight to the Astronomica Studios site. (if: $AstronomicaApp is false)[There's still time to submit your application for the Junior Character Artist position.](else:)[There's still time to submit your application.]
(if: $Art_Good < -6)[[[Actually, screw it. You don't have a hope of getting the job.|AstronomicaFailWake]]](elseif: $Art_Good > 0)[[[You whisper some silent words of encouragement to yourself before clicking on your application.|AstronomicaFinalWake]]](else:)[[[You sigh. Here goes nothing.|AstronomicaFinalWake]]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(if: $high is true)[Jules takes a nervous look at your red, drooping eyes, but then nods.](else:)[A look of panic briefly flashes across Jules' face, but then disappears.]
"Sure, just quickly," she replies.
You lead her out to the garden. It's stopped raining, and you wipe water off one of the picnic tables and sit down at it. Jules stays standing.
"There's something I want to say," you start. Your heart is racing.
[["I just want to know, once and for all... is there still a chance?"|JulesBeg]]
[["Thank you for being there for me today."|JulesThank]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(if: $Eulogy_Good is 3)["It was beautiful," she says, smiling. "It can't have been easy to say those words, after everything, but you did. It's not my place to say it, but, well... I'm proud of you."
Her words make you feel a lot better.
[["Can we go somewhere more private for a moment?"|JulesWakePrivate]]
[[Give her a warm smile before returning to the centre of the room.|Wake2]]](elseif: $Eulogy_Good is -3)["I think you know the answer to that," she says darkly, staring down into her drink.
It's probably best not to push her further on this point, but there is something else you'd like to say to Jules.
[["Can we go somewhere more private for a moment?"|JulesWakePrivate]]
[[Slope back to the middle of the room.|Wake2]]](else:)["I guess... I mean... I know it wasn't easy to stand up there and talk about him. I don't think you should think about it too much," she says, evading your gaze.
[["Can we go somewhere more private for a moment?"|JulesWakePrivate]]
[[Slope back to the middle of the room.|Wake2]]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)
Eulogy: (print: $Eulogy_Good)]
(else:)[]
Jules gives a sympathetic smile. "I thought it was nice. What about you, how do you feel about it?"
[["I wish I'd given it."|JulesEulogyWish]]
[["That's not how I remember Dad."|JulesEulogyCross]]
[["I thought it was touching."|JulesEulogyWistful]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Art_Good to $Art_Good + 1)Jules puts a hand on your shoulder. "It's ok," she says. "If you didn't feel up to it, you didn't feel up to it. It doesn't mean you feel any less strongly."
[["Can we go somewhere more private for a moment?"|JulesWakePrivate]]
[[Nod ruefully, then go and talk to someone else.|Wake2]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Dad_Good to $Dad_Good - 1)(set: $Jules_Good to $Jules_Good - 1)You see a steely cross Jules' face, which you recognise from when you used to live together. Whenever you threatened to go down a dark path, Skywalker-style, she'd ready herself for the onslaught.
[["Urgh, forget I said that."|JulesWakeNeverMind]]
[["I mean... don't you remember how awful he used to be about my art?"|JulesWakeAngry]]
[["Can we go somewhere more private for a moment?"|JulesWakePrivate]]
[[Walk away.|Wake2]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Dad_Good to $Dad_Good + 1)Jules smiles warmly at you. "It was," she replies.
[["Can we go somewhere more private for a moment?"|JulesWakePrivate]]
[[Nod ruefully, then walk away.|Wake2]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
You return to the centre of the pub. (if: $mail300 is true and $zap300 is true and $JulesWake is true and $SamWake is true and $BenWake is true and $ApplicationWake is true)[](else:)[There should still be time talk to everyone you want to before it's time to go home.]
(if: $JulesWake is false)[[[Talk to Jules.|Wake Jules]]
](else:)[You've already spoken to Jules.
](if: $SamWake is false)[[[Talk to Sam.|WakeSam]]
](else:)[You've already spoken to Sam.
](if: $BenWake is false)[[[Talk to Ben.|WakeBen]]
](else:)[You've already spoken to Ben.
](if: $mail300 is true and $zap300 is true)[You've already checked your notifications.
](else:)[[[Check your phone for new notifications.|PhoneHome1]]
](if: $ApplicationWake is true)[(if: $AppDelete is true)[You've deleted your Astronomica application.](else:)[](if: $AppSubmit is true)[You've submitted your Astronomica application.](else:)[]](else:)[[[Send off your Astronomica Studios application before the deadline.|PhoneAstronomica1]]]
(if: $mail300 is true and $zap300 is true and $JulesWake is true and $SamWake is true and $BenWake is true and $ApplicationWake is true)[[[It's time to go back to London.|London]]](else:)[]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Jules_Good to $Jules_Good + 1)"It's ok," replies Jules, and then she lowers her voice and leans towards you. "I remember the things he used to say to you, and although I think he wanted the best for you... well... those things weren't helpful." She stands back upright and her voice returns to its normal volume. "We're all here today though, and that's what matters."
[["Can we go somewhere more private for a moment?"|JulesWakePrivate]]
[[Nod, and return to the centre of the room.|Wake2]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Dad_Good to $Dad_Good - 1)Jules frowns, and her voice drops to a harsh whisper. "Of course I remember. And I'm not condoning it. I've always been on your side. But you can't hold onto that stuff, especially not on a day like today."
[["Can we go somewhere more private for a moment?"|JulesWakePrivate]]
[[Walk away.|Wake2]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Jules_Good to $Jules_Good - 1)Her face hardens, but you carry on regardless. "I know you said it was over, but you're here now, and I just thought..." Jules is backing away now, so you stand up.
Desperately, you take a step towards her. "I need you!"
(if: $Jules_Good < -5)[Jules was frowning when you started to talk, but now she looks angry. Shaking with the effort it's clearly taking to control her voice, she speaks.
"You're a mess, you know that? I came here to support you today, to help you get through your dad's funeral, but all you've done is... make me feel weird about everything that happened between us. I've been on edge all day, just waiting for you to say or do something that'll make me really regret coming(if: $high is true)[, and I even stuck around when you decided to get high, but this is the last straw. I've had enough."](else:)[, and now you have. I've had enough, I really have."]
She turns on her heel and stalks back into the pub.
[[Follow her back inside.|Wake2]]](elseif: $Jules_Good > +5)[Jules stumbles as she evades you, and you reach out to help her up, but she pushes you away. "Just stop," she says, not meeting your gaze. "Look, I don't know what brought this on, because you've been great today(if: $high is true)[, even though you got high, but this is the last straw. I've had enough. It really is over. Forever.](else:)[, all things considered, but it's not the time, and even if it was, well, it really is over."]
She glances up at your furtively before sloping back inside.
[[Return to the pub.|Wake2]]](else:)[At first you can't read Jules' face, but then you realise she isn't angry. She pities you, and that's a lot worse.
"You don't need me," she says. "What you need is to stop living in the past." She shakes her head sadly and turns back towards the pub.
[[Return inside.|Wake2]]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Jules_Good to $Jules_Good + 1)"You didn't have to be," you continue, looking down at your hands, "but you did, because you're... well, you're great. I just want to say... I'm glad to have the time with you that I did. I'll always treasure it."
(if: $Jules_Good < -5)[Jules was frowning when you started to talk, but her face relaxes as you finish.
"Thank you," Jules says. "I appreciate that. At some points today I was worried you might try and... I just mean..." She trails off, shuffling awkwardly. "But thanks." She nods, almost militarily, and returns to the pub.
[[Follow her back inside.|Wake2]]](elseif: $Jules_Good > +5)[(set: $Jules_Hug to true)A tear rolls down her cheek and Jules steps towards you. She hesitates for a moment before putting her arms around you. You hold each other for a few moments until she breaks away, wiping her eyes.
"I treasure it too. I wouldn't be who I am today if it wasn't for you and..." she gives a tearful laugh, "your ridiculous drawings, and your terrible music, and your incessant sci-fi references and..." She trails off with a sniffle, but she's smiling. You smile back, your whole body filled with warmth.
[[Return inside.|Wake2]]](else:)[Jules looks down at her feet. "It's ok," she mumbles. "Being here just felt like the right thing to do. I still care about you, even if... you know..." She trails off.
You smile at her, and she returns it, albeit a little uncertainly.
[[Return inside.|Wake2]]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
"We can talk here," she says, glancing furtively around. You wonder if she doesn't want to be alone with you because she's afraid of you, but push the thought to the back of your mind.
[["I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. For real."|SamApologiseWake]]
[["There's something I have to get off my chest, and you might not like it."|SamAngryWake]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Jo_Good to $Jo_Good + 1)"He would have been proud," she says, her voice trembling.
[["Have you got a moment?"|SamWakeEulogyNotGive]]
[[Sniff back tears and shuffle back to the centre of the room.|Wake2]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Jo_Good to $Jo_Good - 1)She instantly hardens, as if she's deployed a suit of magical armour. "Of course not," she says icily. "Do you need anything, or can I get back to this, so everyone can eat?".
[["Actually, I do want to talk to you."|SamWakeEulogyNotGive]]
[[Sniff back tears and shuffle back to the centre of the room.|Wake2]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Jo_Good to $Jo_Good - 1)"You know," she says, waving the knife around, "I used to be so afraid that you wouldn't like me. And then upset when you made it clear you didn't. But now?(if: $high is true)[ You come here, <em>on drugs</em>, and insult me. Insult your father's memory. It's pretty clear that the problem's not with me. And that's just fine."](else:)[ It's clear that the problem's not with me. And that's just fine."]
[["I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Look, can we just talk about it?"|SamWakeEulogyNotGive]]
[[Shrug, then shuffle back to the centre of the room.|Wake2]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Jo_Good to $Jo_Good + 1)(if: $high is true)[Her eyes narrow as you talk. "Are you... <em>on drugs</em>?" You gape at her, but she holds up her hands to stop you talking. "Actually, I don't really want to hear it. Now, did you come over here for a good reason?"](else:)[She holds up her hands to stop you talking. "I don't really want to hear it. Now, did you come over here for a good reason?"]
[["Actually, I would like to talk to you."|SamWakeEulogyNotGive]]
[[Shake your head and walk away.|Wake2]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Jo_Good to $Jo_Good + 1)"I'm fine," she said, trying to fish the spoon out with another one, and dropping that in too. "<em>Fuck</em>," she hisses, and you notice her fingers are shaking.
[[Step in and scoop the spoons out.|Spoons]]
[[Watch her get dressing all over her manicure.|Dressing]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Jo_Good to $Jo_Good - 1)Sam slams the jar of pickled peppercorns down on the paper tablecloth. "Well excuse <em>me</em> for being the only person around here who thinks you'll be a lot better off if you face up to your problems, rather than just running away from them. For your <em>information</em>, yes, I <em>do</em> feel better after being honest with you. I'm just so <em>bloody</em> tired of having to pander to you, like everyone else does. Why do you get to be so rude? (if: $high is true)[What gives <em>you</em> the right to come here <em>on drugs</em> - yes I <em>did</em> notice - and talk like that? What makes you so special?"](else:)[What makes you so special?"]
[["Oh, we're doing this now? Really? Fine. Let's talk about it."|SamArgument]]
[[Wow. You weren't expecting that. Back away.|Wake2]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Jo_Good to $Jo_Good + 1)Sam looks slightly deflated, and you wish you'd figured out this method of defusing her attacks years ago. "I suppose it's for the best then," she sniffs.
[["Look... do you have a minute to talk?"|SamWakeEulogyNotGive]]
[[Smile a little, then walk back to the centre of the room.|Wake2]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Jo_Good to $Jo_Good + 1)Sam looks visibly relieved.
[["Do you have a minute to talk?"|SamWakeEulogyNotGive]]
[[Smile a little, then walk back to the centre of the room.|Wake2]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Jo_Good to $Jo_Good - 1)"Right," she says. "Of course you don't. Do you need anything, or did you just come over to say that?"
[["Actually, I would like to talk to you."|SamWakeEulogyNotGive]]
[[Shake your head and walk away.|Wake2]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Jo_Good to $Jo_Good + 1)Using a pair of forks as pincers, you extricate the spoons and lay them on a napkin. Sam smiles gratefully.
[["Can we talk for a moment?"|SamWakeEulogyNotGive]]
[[Smile back before walking away.|Wake2]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Jo_Good to $Jo_Good - 1)Sam gets a grip on one of the spoons, but it slips back in. She throws up her hands. "People are just going to have to deal with it," she says. "What did you want, anyway?"
[["Can we talk?"|SamWakeEulogyNotGive]]
[[Shake your head and walk away.|Wake2]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Jo_Good to $Jo_Good - 1)"I know I've been rude. And difficult. Ever since Dad brought you home. But you never, ever showed me any compassion! I was a teenager, and I'd just lost my mum! You think you can just come into a kid's life like that and just demand respect? If you'd once - just once - tried to understand how I might have been feeling, then maybe things would have been different."
Sam blinks, and then laughs out loud before recovering herself. "You're such a mess," she says. "Just look at yourself.(if: $high is true)[ High as a kite.](else:)[](if: $wet is true)[ Dripping wet.](else:)[] You're an embarrassment. I can see why you'd like to blame all your problems on me, and you're welcome to if it makes you feel better, but I think we both know who's really responsible for the way you've turned out. Now if you don't mind, I'm busy."
She turns back to the buffet table and starts stabbing tiny paper flags into piles of sandwiches with sharp, jabbing motions.
You've fantasised about telling her what you really think countless times, but not that you have, you just feel worse, not better.
[[Return to the centre of the room.|Wake2]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Jo_Good to $Jo_Good + 1)Thousands of times in your life, you've fantasised about telling Sam what you really think of her, confronting her with the truth about how her lack of compassion has hurt you over the years. But today has shown you how pointless it is to hold onto those feelings. You take a deep breath before speaking.
"I never gave you a chance. I was in so much pain when Mum died... and I guess I took a lot of it out on you. I know we didn't always... I mean, <em>ever</em> agree, but you made Dad happy. And I wish I'd appreciated that."
(if: $Jo_Good < - 3)[Sam looks almost disappointed. "Well," she says, visibly deflating, "that's good of you to say. I was half expecting you to... never mind. Thank you." She turns back to the buffet table and starts erecting little paper flags in lunar mountains of sandwiches.
Although you would really like it if she apologised to you too, you still feel a lot better for having said what you did.
[[Return to the centre of the room.|Wake2]]](elseif: $Jo_Good > + 2)[(set: $SamHug to true)Sam's eyes are brimming with tears, and she dabs them carefully with a tissue to avoid smudging her makeup. "I've been so unkind to you," she sniffs. "I think about it all the time... and though I tell myself it's fine, deep down I know that it's always just been... easier to blame you."
<em>Your</em> eyes are prickling with tears now. "Let's both try harder from now on," you say, "even though it's not easy." Sam nods, and hesitates for a moment before drawing you into an awkward, but heartfelt hug.
[[Feeling light, you return to the centre of the room.|Wake2]]](else:)[Sam blinks at you in shock. "Well. I suppose... I mean... thank you. I suppose I've always been a little quick to judge wherever you're concerned. We could both make a little more effort."
You nod in agreement, and she gives an awkward smile before turning back to the buffet table and erecting little paper flags in lunar mountains of sandwiches.
[[Return to the centre of the room.|Wake2]]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Jo_Good to $Jo_Good - 1)"I know I've been rude. And difficult. Ever since Dad brought you home. But you never, ever showed me any compassion! I was a teenager, and I'd just lost my mum! You think you can just come into a kid's life like that and just demand respect? If you'd once - just once - tried to understand how I might have been feeling, then maybe things would have been different."
(if: $Jo_Good < - 3)[Sam blinks, and then laughs out loud before recovering herself. "You're such a mess," she says. "Just look at yourself.(if: $high is true)[ High as a kite.](else:)[](if: $wet is true)[ Dripping wet.](else:)[] You're an embarrassment. I can see why you'd like to blame all your problems on me, and you're welcome to if it makes you feel better, but I think we both know who's really responsible for the way you've turned out. Now if you don't mind, I'm busy."
She turns back to the buffet table and starts stabbing tiny paper flags into piles of sandwiches with sharp, jabbing motions.
That didn't go the way you'd pictured.
[[Return to the centre of the room.|Wake2]]](elseif: $Jo_Good > + 2)[Sam looks as if she's been slapped. Things had been ok between the two of you today, and your attack has taken her by surprise. Shaking slightly, she looks down at her patent leather shoes. "I'm sorry," she mumbles. "I should..." she turns back towards the buffet table and starts sticking tiny paper flags into lunar mountains of sandwiches with trembling fingers.
You wonder why you don't feel better.
[[Return to the centre of the room.|Wake2]]](else:)[You're shaking with rage, your hands balled into fists, but Sam just stands still, arms folded, one eyebrow raised. She waits for you to run out of steam before speaking. "Have you finshed?", she asks, in a tired voice.
You'd wanted catharsis, but her dismissal just crushes you. You should have known better than to try and make her face the truth. It's clear she can't face taking her responsibility for her part in your misery.
[[Shake your head and walk away from her.|Wake2]]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
"Sure," he says, then looks around furtively at the swarming relatives before leading you outside to the climbing frame where you used to play as children. It's cold out here(if: $wet is true)[, and you're still wet from your earlier flight, but you ignore the biting wind and focus on Ben.](else:)[, but you try to ignore the biting wind and focus on Ben.] You take a deep breath of bracing sea air before talking.
"If today has shown me nothing else, it's that life is short. I've done a lot of things that I regret, but I realise that it's worse to regret the things you never did. So I don't want to waste any more time. I want you to know that..."
[["I think you're an amazing, kind person, and I love you."|BenLove]]
[["I... uh... am here if you ever want to talk."|BenWussOut]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
"Sure," he says, then looks around furtively at the swarming relatives before leading you outside to the climbing frame where you used to play as children. It's cold out here(if: $wet is true)[, and you're still wet from your earlier flight, but you ignore the biting wind and focus on Ben.](else:)[, but you try to ignore the biting wind and focus on Ben.]
Telling yourself you're imagining the disappointment in Ben's eyes, and trying not to think about the way you spoke about your father, you take a deep breath of bracing sea air before talking.
"If today has shown me nothing else, it's that life is short. I've done a lot of things that I regret, but I realise that it's worse to regret the things you never did. So I don't want to waste any more time. I want you to know that..."
[["I think you're an amazing, kind person, and I love you."|BenLove]]
[["I... uh... am here if you ever want to talk."|BenWussOut]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
"Sure," he says, then looks around furtively at the swarming relatives before leading you outside to the climbing frame where you used to play as children. It's cold out here(if: $wet is true)[, and you're still wet from your earlier flight, but you ignore the biting wind and focus on Ben.](else:)[, but you try to ignore the biting wind and focus on Ben.] You take a deep breath of bracing sea air before talking.
"If today has shown me nothing else, it's that life is short. I've done a lot of things that I regret, but I realise that it's worse to regret the things you never did. So I don't want to waste any more time. I want you to know that..."
[["I think you're an amazing, kind person, and I love you."|BenLove]]
[["I... uh... am here if you ever want to talk."|BenWussOut]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
"It was nice to hear from one of Dad's friends. I guess you just don't think about that perspective when you're someone's kid." You catch his eye. "Or at least... I don't." He smiles slightly.
[["Can we talk in private for a moment?"|BenTalkPrivateGoodEulogy]]
[[<em>You</em> don't know what to say though, so return to the middle of the pub.|Wake2]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
"It's ok," replies Ben. "Just because you don't say things out loud doesn't mean you don't feel them." You wonder how he always knows just what to say.
[["Can we talk in private for a moment?"|BenTalkPrivateGoodEulogy]]
[[<em>You</em> don't know what to say though, so return to the middle of the pub.|Wake2]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Ben_Good to $Ben_Good + 1)(if: $Ben_Good < 0)[Ben looks stunned, as if he can't believe what he's just heard. "Wow," he says eventually, running a hand through his neat hair. "I... Sorry if I'm a bit... This is just out of the blue. I mean... thank you."
He nods, his sincerity even more pronounced than normal. While you wish his response had been warmer, you're happy that he knows how you feel.
[[Go back to the pub.|Wake2]]](elseif: $Ben_Good > +3)[(set: $Ben_Hug to true)Ben beams, and for a moment he radiates happiness. Then, he gathers himself, and is serious once more. "Thank you," he says. "I always try and do the right thing and... I want to say... I've always looked up to you. You always seem to know your own mind, you're not afraid to be yourself, so it really means a lot to hear you say that. I love you too."
You try to blink back your tears, then give up, and they roll down your face. Ben puts his arms around you, and you hug tightly before breaking away, sniffling.
[[Go back to the pub, feeling a warm glow around you.|Wake2]]](else:)[Ben doesn't react for a moment, and you wonder if you spoke aloud, or merely imagined it, but then he nods. "Thank you," he says, seriously. "It means a lot to hear you say that, and... I feel the same." He leans in and hugs you briefly, before straightening his tie.
"We should get back," he says.
[[Follow Ben back to the pub.|Wake2]]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Ben_Good to $Ben_Good + 1)(if: $Ben_Good < 0)["Thank you," replies Ben. "I will." His inability to lie is one of the things you like best about him, but now it just means you can tell he doesn't mean what he just said.
Maybe if you'd done more to earn his trust today, he'd be more open with you.
[[Return to the pub.|Wake2]]](elseif: $Ben_Good > +3)[Ben gives the ghost of a smile. "I'd like that," he says. "Sometimes I'd like to call you but I never know if you'd want me to. But now, I will." He nods purposefully, and heads back to the pub.
[[Follow Ben back to the pub.|Wake2]]](else:)[There's a light in Ben's eyes as you start to talk, but by the time you trail off, it's gone out. "Sure," he says, straightening his already symmetrical tie. "I'm here for you too."
Maybe he was expecting, or at least hoping for, more from you.
[[Head back inside the pub.|Wake2]]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $PhoneWakeCheck to true)(set: $mail300 to true)<strong>Welcome to </strong>💌<strong>E-Zee Mail</strong>💌<strong>, the fast, fun, FRIENDLY mail app!</strong>
(if: $MailOpened is false)[You make a mental note to download a new e-mail client before perusing your inbox.
](else:)[](if: $mailed_Sabine1 is false)[💌[[<tt>SABINE TRÉMAUX: Your application is still pending.</tt>|MailAstronomica300]]
](else:)[💌<tt><strong>``*MAIL READ*`` </strong>SABINE TRÉMAUX: Your application is still pending.</tt>
](if: $mailed_Jo is false)[💌[[<tt>SAMANTHA TOWNSEND: Today...</tt>|MailJo300]]
](else:)[💌<tt><strong>``*MAIL READ*`` </strong>SAMANTHA TOWNSEND: Today...</tt>
](if: $mailed_Astronomica is false)[💌[[<tt>ASTRONOMICA: Congratulations on your four-year anniversary!</tt>|MailAnniversary300]]
](else:)[💌<tt><strong>``*MAIL READ*`` </strong>ASTRONOMICA: Congratulations on your four-year anniversary</tt>
](if: $PortfolioCheck is true)[(if: $SabineFollowUp is true)[💌<tt><strong>``*MAIL READ*`` </strong>SABINE TRÉMAUX: Astronomica application</tt>
](else:)[💌[[<tt>SABINE TRÉMAUX: Astronomica application</tt>|MailSabine300]]](else:)[]]
[[Close your mails.|PhoneHome1]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $PhoneWakeCheck to true)(set: $zap300 to true)<strong>Welcome to ZapChat!</strong>
(if: $zapped_ZapAli300 is false)[⚡️[[<tt>Zap Ali!</tt>|ZapAli300]]
](else:)[<tt>Ali is unavailable.</tt>
]<tt>Jules is unavailable.</tt>
<tt>Ben is unavailable.</tt>
[[Close ZapChat.|PhoneHome1]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $mailed_Sabine1 to true)(set: $mailed_Sabine300 to true)<tt>Dear Applicant,
I am writing to inform you that your application for the post of Junior Character Artist is still pending. To submit your application, please complete the form on the Careers space on our website.
Please be aware that the deadline for applications for this role is 18:00 today.
Kind Regards,
Sabine Trémaux
Artistic Director
Astronomica Studios</tt>
(if: $ApplicationWake is true)[(if: $AppDelete is true)[You feel sick to think about the application you've just deleted.](else:)[](if: $AppSubmit is true)[You don't want to be reminded of your application so soon after sending it.](else:)[]](else:)[Your stomach tenses. Although your application is almost complete, you still need to finish the personal statement. Even then, you don't know if your portfolio is good enough.]
[[Return to your inbox.|Mails300]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $mailed_Jo to true)<tt>Hi,
Just checking you're still coming today, given you haven't been in touch since Saturday. Please let me know otherwise I'll have to let Father Paul know you won't be delivering your eulogy after all.
It would have been great if you'd stayed here last night, especially for Elsie and Nicholas, but I guess you have your reasons for not wanting to spend any more time with them than you have to.
Sam</tt>
You're glad you didn't read this mail before the funeral.
[[Go back to your mails.|Mails300]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $mailed_Astronomica to true)<tt>Dear Astronomica Citizen,
We are thrilled to congratulate you on four years in the Astronomica universe! As a reward, a unique spacesuit has been transferred to your inventory.
Here are some statistics from your last four years:
<strong>Rank:</strong> Admiral
<strong>Planets visited:</strong> 316
<strong>Crew:</strong>
* 32% Human
* 29% Cephalopian
* 22% Xenobrain
* 17% Brute Tardigrade
<strong>Selected achievements:</strong>
* Saved the Cephalopian homeworld from destruction
* Founded a cactus research centre on Marolia
* Married the Xenobrain priestess Rai'Tao (DECEASED)
Briefing over.
Astronomica</tt>
[[You think this milestone might be a good talking point if you ever make it to the Astronomica interview.|AnniversaryGood300]]
[[You wonder where you might be now if you hadn't spent so much time in an imaginary universe.|AstronomicaBad300]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $SabineFollowUp to true)<tt>Hi,
My name is Sabine Trémaux, and we spoke on the phone last week in regard to the Junior Character Artist position. You probably received an automated mail from this account earlier today about the application deadline.
I saw you logged into your account earlier today, and wanted to make sure that you were aware you haven't submitted yet. Occasionally the applications section of the website throws up errors, particularly when large file sizes (like a portfolio) are involved.
I hope you are still planning to submit and look forward to seeing your application. You seemed so passionate about the position when we spoke on the phone.
Kind Regards,
Sabine Trémaux
Artistic Director
Astronomica Studios</tt>
You're shocked that Sabine remembers you, and even more shocked that your awkward phone conversation seemed to have made a positive impression.
[[Return to your inbox.|Mails300]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Art_Good to $Art_Good + 1)You make a mental note to prepare a list of your favourite Astronomica memories... just in case you make it to interview.
[[Go back to your mails.|Mails300]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Art_Good to $Art_Good - 1)You feel hopeless.
[[Go back to your mails.|Mails300]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $zapped_ZapAli300 to true)It was pub lunch day at the office today, you realise. Ali will have just got back to his desk, the ZapChat icon blinking quietly in the corner of his desktop.
(if: $AliChatLeave is true)[⚡️[[<tt>Hey, do you have a minute?</tt>|ZapChatWakeHeyWeird]]](else:)[⚡️[[<tt>Hey, do you have a minute?</tt>|ZapChatWakeHeyNice]]](if: $AliChatLeave is true)[
⚡️[[<tt><strong>*SRS VOICE:*</strong> I'm sorry I was snappy with you earlier, it was uncalled for. 😔</tt>|ZapChatWakeSorry]]](else:)[]
[[Put your phone away. You can talk to Ali on Monday.|Wake2]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Ali_Good to $Ali_Good + 1)⚡️<tt>Aww, please don't worry. I've been feeling bad ever since too. I appreciate it though. Friends?</tt> 🐞🐝
⚡️[[<tt>Yes, friends :)</tt>|ZapChatWakeCrab]] 🐌🐛
⚡️[[<tt>I wouldn't go <em>that</em> far...</tt>|ZapChatWakeCrabby]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
The typing animation plays for a long time before Ali's reply appears on screen.
⚡️<tt>A quick one, yeah. There's a team meeting in a moment.</tt>
That's unusually terse for Ali.
⚡️[[<tt>Are you mad at me about earlier? Because I'm currently at <em>my</em> Dad's funeral, so excuse me if <em>your</em> feelings aren't uppermost in my mind.</tt>|ZapChatDick]]
⚡️[[<tt>Argh, ok. I just... wanted to say sorry... for snapping at you earlier. I'm a bit all over the place today.</tt>|ZapChatWakeSorry]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
⚡️<tt>Sure I do :)</tt>
⚡️<tt>How is everything going? I guess the funeral is over now? Want to talk about it?</tt>
⚡️[[<tt>Thanks, I do actually, yeah.</tt>|ZapChatAlieTalk]]
⚡️[[<tt>Actually... I'm too exhausted. I guess I just wanted to say hi. I'll see you Monday.</tt>|ZapChatWontKeep]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Ali_Good to $Ali_Good + 1)⚡️<tt>:)</tt>
⚡️<tt>How is everything going? I guess the funeral is over now? Want to talk about it?</tt>
⚡️[[<tt>Thanks, I do actually, yeah.</tt>|ZapChatAlieTalk]]
⚡️[[<tt>I'm too exhausted really. I guess I'll see you Monday.</tt>|ZapChatWontKeep]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
⚡️<tt>cant tell if srs or jk...</tt>
⚡️<tt>...but never mind. How is everything going? I guess the funeral is over now? Want to talk about it?</tt>
⚡️[[<tt>Thanks, I do actually, yeah.</tt>|ZapChatAlieTalk]]
⚡️[[<tt>I'm too exhausted really. I guess I'll see you Monday.</tt>|ZapChatWontKeep]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Ali_Good to $Ali_Good - 1)⚡️<tt>I'm not mad at you, I know you're dealing with some difficult stuff. I just... have to go in a minute, that's all.</tt>
⚡️[[<tt>Ok, ok. I guess I just wanted to talk to you because... you're the only thing that feels normal today.</tt>|ZapChatNormal]]
⚡️[[<tt>Aright, I won't keep you.</tt>|ZapChatWontKeep]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
⚡️<tt>Ok, see you Monday.</tt>
Ali's icon greys out.
[[Close ZapChat.|PhoneHome1]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
⚡️<tt>Sure, I understand. I've got a couple of minutes, is there anything you want to talk about?</tt>
⚡️[[<tt>Yeah...</tt>|ZapChatAlieTalk]]
⚡️[[<tt>No, it's ok. Have a good weekend, I'll see you Monday.</tt>|ZapChatWontKeep]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
⚡️<tt>It's just been so surreal... He was sick for such a long time, so I knew this would happen eventually, but it's impossible to really prepare for it. I just feel stunned, really.</tt>
There's a pause while Ali's typing animation plays. You hardly ever discuss feelings, unless they're in relation to sci-fi shows, so he must be struggling to compose a reply he feels happy with. Finally, a new message appears on your screen.
(if: $Ali_Good < 0)[⚡️<tt>I bet, it sounds really difficult. Are you going to be ok?</tt>
⚡️[[<tt>Eventually, yeah. No thanks to anyone else though.</tt>|ZapChatAliBeADick]]
⚡️[[<tt>I guess? Ask me in a few days.</tt>|ZapChatAliWhatever]]](elseif: $Ali_Good > +2)[⚡️<tt>Um... I was just thinking... You said you were getting the train back to London tonight... Do you want to come over to my place and talk about it? Or just watch <em>Futurama</em> or something? It just seems like the ZapChat software can't handle all the </tt>😬<tt><em>feelings</em></tt>😬<tt>.</tt>
⚡️[[<tt>Seriously? That would be amazing, thank you :)</tt>|ZapChatAliHappy]]
⚡️[[<tt>Erm... no, it's fine, thanks :\</tt>|ZapChatAliWeird]]](else:)[⚡️<tt>I can imagine. Look, I have to go now, but we can grab lunch next week if you want?</tt>
⚡️[[<tt>Yes please, that would make me feel a lot better :)</tt>|ZapChatAliLunchHappy]]
⚡️[[<tt>Erm... no, it's fine, thanks :\</tt>|ZapChatAliWeird]]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Ali_Good to $Ali_Good - 1)Ali's reply is immediate.
⚡️<tt>I guess... we can only be responsible for our own happiness, right? Crap, I have to go, team meeting. See you Monday.</tt>
Ali's icon greys out.
[[Close ZapChat.|PhoneHome1]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Ali_Good to $Ali_Good - 1)⚡️<tt>Right, of course. I guess you don't want to be overloaded, or... never mind. Sorry if I overstepped. I've got a meeting now, but we'll talk next week.</tt>
Ali's icon greys out.
[[Close ZapChat.|PhoneHome1]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Ali_Good to $Ali_Good + 1)(set: $AliNight to true)Ali's reply is immediate.
⚡️<tt>Yay, awesome! I mean, not yay, obviously. Because funeral. But I'm really happy you're coming round. Ok ok ok. Just come over any time from 6, I'll ping you a map. My flatmate's out tonight, so there'll be no-one to get in the way of the <em>feelings</em><tt>. Seriously, I'm glad you're coming, I hope I can help you feel better, somehow.</tt>
⚡️[[<tt>Thank you :)</tt>|Ali]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
Ali's reply is immediate.
⚡️<tt>Sure, no problem. Look, I have to go, team meeting. We can talk next week.</tt>
Ali's icon greys out.
[[Close ZapChat.|PhoneHome1]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Ali_Good to $Ali_Good + 1)Ali's reply is immediate.
⚡️<tt>Great. It looks like neither of us have any meetings on Wednesday, so let's take a long lunch at The Star and Rocket.</tt> ⭐️🚀
There's a short pause, and then another message.
⚡️<tt>I have to go to a team meeting now, but see you Monday.</tt>
Ali's icon greys out.
[[Close ZapChat.|PhoneHome1]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
⚡️<tt>Absolutely no problem. Look, I have to go to a team meeting now, but let me know what you'd like for dinner :)</tt>
Ali's icon greys out.
[[Close ZapChat.|PhoneHome1]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $AppDelete to true)(set: $Art_Good to $Art_Good - 1)Without even looking at your application, you scroll right to the bright red <strong>DELETE</strong> button at the bottom of the page, feeling a strange sucking sensation as you click it, as if cabin pressure has dropped and the air is rushing out of your lungs.
That's it, you think. Once again, you ran from the possibility of failure into the familiar embrace of just, well, not trying. It's better here, you think. No-one can ever hurt me if I don't ever admit to myself that I want anything.
[[Close the Astronomica site.|Wake2]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
All you have to do is submit your portfolio and personal statement.
(if: $PortfolioFinal is false)[[[You uploaded your portfolio weeks ago, but it's best to take one last look at it.|FinalPortfolio2]]](else:)[There's nothing else you can do on your portfolio.]
(if: $StatementFinal is false)[(if: $StatementDraft is true)[[[You've already drafted the statement, so take one last read through at it before submitting it.|FinalDraft2]]](else:)[[[You still need to draft the statement.|FirstDraft2]]]](else:)[There's nothing else you can do on your statement.]
(if: $StatementFinal is true and $PortfolioFinal is true)[[[Submit your application.|SumbitFinal2]]](else:)[]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $PortfolioFinal to true)Your portfolio takes a while to load, but when the images finally appear on the screen, you find it hard to summon much of an opinion about them. They fit the brief - an array of biomechanical monsters and space cadets - but you've looked at them so much over the last few weeks that you can no longer tell whether they're any good.
[[Go back to the careers page.|AstronomicaFinalWake]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $StatementFinal to true)The text you wrote in the Budget Lodge earlier this morning appears on the screen.
<tt>I've studied the evolution of the Astronomica art style since I began playing, and am excited about the recent move to a more bio-mechanical aesthetic. As you can see from my portfolio, it's something I'm keen to help the team develop.
While I do not have any formal artistic qualifications, I have worked hard to improve my design and technical skills alongside full-time work, and would relish the opportunity to discuss them with you further.</tt>
You can't think of anything better to write.
[[Go back to the careers page.|AstronomicaFinalWake]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $StatementFinal to true)The empty field taunts you, the cursor flashing in the top right hand corner.
Sighing, you begin to type...
[[<tt>"I've been a devoted Astronomica player for four years, but it's only now that I'm ready to join the development team..."</tt>|PersonalStatementGood300]]
[[<tt>"Even though my art style probably isn't what you're looking for..."</tt>|PersonalStatementBad300]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
That's it. The only thing you can do now is choose one of the two glowing buttons at the bottom of the screen.
[[<strong>DELETE</strong>|DeleteApplication2]]
[[<strong>SUBMIT</strong>|SubmitApplication2]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Art_Good to $Art_Good - 1)(set: $AppDelete to true)(set: $Art_Good to $Art_Good - 1)You click the bright red <strong>DELETE</strong> button at the bottom of the page, feeling a strange sucking sensation as you do, as if cabin pressure has dropped and the air is rushing out of your lungs.
That's it, you think. Once again, you ran from the possibility of failure into the familiar embrace of just, well, not trying. It's better here, you think. No-one can ever hurt me if I don't ever admit to myself that I want anything.
[[Close the Astronomica site.|Wake2]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Art_Good to $Art_Good + 1)(set: $AppSubmit to true)You don't realise you've been holding your breath until the loading animation finishes and a notification appears confirming sucessful sumbission. As you exhale, you experience an unusual sensation, one you haven't felt for as long as you can remember. As if catching sight of a long-lost, much-aged friend, you suddenly recognise the feeling as <em>hope</em>, and you are dizzy with the awareness of the years that have passed since you last saw its face.
Even if nothing comes of the application, and yours is buried beneath a pile of polished entries from digital art graduates half a decade younger than you, completing it at all was like admitting to yourself that your future matters.
Now you've taken a chance on one thing, you almost feel empowered to start doing other things...
[[Close the Astronomica site.|Wake2]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Art_Good to $Art_Good + 1)<tt>"...I've studied the evolution of the Astronomica art style since I began playing, and am excited about the recent move to a more bio-mechanical aesthetic. As you can see from my portfolio, it's something I'm keen to help the team develop.
While I do not have any formal artistic qualifications, I have worked hard to improve my design and technical skills alongside full-time work, and would relish the opportunity to discuss them with you further."</tt>
That doesn't look too bad, you think.
[[Return to the application home page.|AstronomicaFinalWake]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
(set: $Art_Good to $Art_Good - 1)<tt>"...I thought I'd send it in anyway.
Even though I don't have any experience or formal qualifications, I have spent a lot of time playing Astronomica, so maybe that counts for something.
I know the studio is very busy, so I hope reading this wasn't too much of a waste of your time."</tt>
You <em>know</em> that such a negative tone won't give you the best chance, but you can't bring yourself to be any more positive. It feels disingenuous and arrogant to try and sell yourself when you just don't think you're worth buying.
[[You return to your application.|AstronomicaFinalWake]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
You know you should go and say goodbye to everyone, but you're exhausted, and if you start, you'll be here for at least another hour, and the bus to the train station leaves soon. It's better just to slip out.
[[Leave the Flying Dutchman and head to the bus stop.|BusStopSam]]
(if: $SamHug is true)[As you're trudging towards the bus stop, you hear someone calling your name. You turn around and see to your great surprise that it's Sam, now trotting towards you as fast as her heels will let her.
"I'm sorry I didn't say goodbye," you say when she reaches you, but she shakes her head.
"I understand," she says. "I only wanted to say... Thank you for coming today, and making the effort you did. And... oh gosh, look, don't get the bus, here's money for a cab." She fumbles in her shiny handbag and passes you a crisp £20 note.
"It's fine," you say, "the bus is..."
"Or buy yourself dinner or something. Whatever you like." You accept the gift graciously, and she smiles. "Come back soon, alright? The children would like to see you. And, well... We could start again. With each other. I... I'm rambling. Just have a safe trip back."
[[She turns and walks back towards the pub.|BusStopAli]]](else:)[(if: $Jo_Good < -4)[As you're trudging towards the bus stop, your racing mind alights on Sam, and you see a flash of red. You might not have been perfect, but she was supposed to be the adult throughout all of this, and by kicking you when you were down, she just took the easy way out. All the bad things you've ever said to her flash through your mind, and you regret none of them.
[[The bus stop is in sight.|BusStopAli]]](elseif: $Jo_Good > +3)[As you're trudging towards the bus stop, you mind drifts towards Sam, once your mortal enemy, and now, if not a friend, than another flawed person who finds it as difficult to keep her emotions in check as you do. You wonder how you could have spent so long demonising her.
[[The bus stop is in sight.|BusStopAli]]](else:)[As you trudge towards towards the bus stop, your mind drifts towards Sam. Your feelings for her are conflicted; while you no longer feel the burning hatred you had for her before today, you don't really feel any compassion for her either. Some relationships are just too broken to fix.
[[Push Sam out of your mind and walk the last few feet to the bus stop.|BusStopAli]]]]
(if: $AliNight is true)[You hop from foot to foot at the bus stop, eager to get back to London and see Ali. You find it hard to get close to people, and only now that you're on the verge of forging a true friendship do you realise how much you've missed having someone around whom you trust enough to be honest with.
Plus, you can't wait to watch some episodes of <em>Futurama</em> over a pizza. There's nothing more cathartic than a good laugh followed by a good cry.
[[The headlights of the bus emerge out of the drizzle.|BusStopJules]]](else:)[(if: $Ali_Good < -2)[As you wait for the bus, you think about Ali. Ever since Ali sent you a funny message on your first awkward day at work, you've wondered whether your friendship might one day extend beyond the office walls. While you're disappointed that today has shown you that it probably never will, well, that's better than waiting around and hoping.
[[The headlights of the bus emerge out of the drizzle.|BusStopJules]]](elseif: $Ali_Good > +3)[As you wait for the bus, you think about Ali. Ever since he sent you a funny message to ease your nerves on your first awkward day at work, you've wondered whether your friendship might one day extend beyond the office walls. Although today has been difficult in many ways, his good-natured support from far away has made a big difference, and you're confident that one day, the two of you will be true friends.
[[The headlights of the bus emerge out of the drizzle.|BusStopJules]]](else:)[As you wait for the bus, you think about Ali. He's the only person you really get on with at work, and the only person you've really got on with <em>at all</em> since Jules moved out. You hope that one day, your slightly awkward ZapChat-based friendship might reach beyond office walls.
[[The headlights of the bus emerge out of the drizzle.|BusStopJules]]]]
(if: $Jules_Hug is true)[You're about to step onto the bus when you hear a car horn from behind you. Turning around, you see the Spacebug. "Get in!", yells Jules, winding down her window. With an apologetic smile at the bus driver, you run over to it and pull yourself into the passenger's side for what might be the last time.
"You ran off without saying goodbye," she says, "which I get, but at least let me drive you to the station." As the Spacebug climbs the Cliffport hills, she speaks. "I know I kind of already said this, but I'm really glad I came here today. You haven't had an easy time, but after today I just feel... You're going to be ok. I believe in you, and I hope you believe in yourself." Jules keeps her eyes fixed on the road, and you don't look at her as she speaks, just in case you start crying.
When you get to Cliffport train station, there's an awkward silence before you get out, but as you turn to her she raises her hand. "Fistbump?" Sniffing back tears, you make a fist and give hers a gentle bump before you get out of the Spacebug and watch her drive away.
[[You find your way to the platform.|StationBen]]](else:)[(if: $Jules_Good < -3)[You climb onto the bus. As it pulls away and heads into the Cliffport hills, your thoughts drift to Jules. You know she's told you - countless times - that it's over, but you just can't quite believe it. You're perfect for each other, and she's the only person you think you could ever really love.
<em>I don't know if she's in denial or just playing hard-to-get</em>, you think as you get off the bus at Cliffport train station, <em>but one day she'll come back. One day</em>.
[[You find your way to the platform.|StationBen]]](elseif: $Jules_Good > +4)[You climb onto the bus. As it pulls away and heads into the Cliffport hills, your thoughts drift to Jules. It's been a long time since you broke up, but today is the first day you've ever felt ok with the fact, and not either wished it were different, or belligerently convinced yourself that it was.
People come in and out of our lives all the time, you think as you get out at Cliffport train station, and you're just lucky that someone like Jules came in... if only for a while.
[[You find your way to the platform.|StationBen]]](else:)[You climb onto the bus. As it pulls away and heads into the Cliffport hills, your thoughts drift to Jules. You know she's told you - countless times - that it's over, and some days you believe her, but you can't help interpreting her every kindness as a signal that you're destined to be together.
One day, you think as you get out at Cliffport train station, you're might really have to let her go... but not today.
[[You find your way to the platform.|StationBen]]]]
(if: $Ben_Hug is true)[As you're waiting for the train, you feel your phone vibrate in your pocket. Pulling it out, you see a Zap from Ben.
⚡️<tt>I heard you left - don't worry, I don't like long goodbyes either. Or even short ones. I just wanted to say that I'm really glad we got to talk today. No need to answer now, but I've been thinking of coming up to London to see you. We could go to the Science Museum, visit Forbidden Planet, anything you want. I'd just really like to get to know you better. Thanks for everything today.
Ben</tt>
<em>Definitely</em>, you think as the train rolls up to the platform.
[[You board the train.|TrainDad]]](else:)[(if: $Ben_Good < 0)[As you wait for the train, you feel a pang of guilt as you think about Ben. He's so well-meaning and so honest that it makes you feel even worse that you didn't make more effort with him today.
He's <em>so</em> nice, you think, that he could never understand that you find him hard to be around because he throws your own shortcomings into such stark relief. If only he was more petty, or irresponsible, you think as the train rolls up to the platform, you'd find him a lot easier to deal with.
[[You board the train.|TrainDad]]](elseif: $Ben_Good > +4)[[[As you wait for the train, you feel a warm glow as think about Ben. He doesn't even realise how abnormally nice, or honest, or kind he is. For a long time you've wondered if it's all just an act, or if he's scared to let his darker nature take over, but after today, you're pretty sure that's just the way he is.
And you wouldn't have him any other way, you think, smiling, as the train rolls up to the platform.
[[You board the train.|TrainDad]]](else:)[As you wait for the train, you think about Ben.
What are the chances of two such different people being siblings? Ben's so thoughtful, so kind, and so honest, that at several points in your life you've wondered if your parents just found one of you in the Cliffport woods.
He's always been such an enigma. As the train rolls up to the platform, you wonder if the two of you will ever be close.
[[You board the train.|TrainDad]]]]
It's not yet rush hour, and you find a window seat in a quiet carriage where you can watch the landscape roll by.
(if: $DidEulogy is true)[(if: $Eulogy_Good is 3)[You feel good about the way you spoke in the church. Even though not all of your memories of Dad are good ones, putting them aside for those few moments was the right thing to do.
](elseif: $Eulogy_Good is -3)[Your mind briefly flashes back to the way you spoke about Dad in the church, and you jerk your head quickly to shake the thought from your mind.
](else:)[]](else:)[](if: $Dad_Good < -5)[You were expecting to feel a sense of closure after today, but if anything, you just feel worse about how you left things with Dad. You're still angry about the way he dismissed your feelings while you were growing up, and now you'll never be able to explain it to him.](elseif: $Dad_Good > +6)[You feel a sense of closure after today. Although you'll never be able to explain your anger to Dad or apologise for the way you've behaved, you at least feel you honoured him as best you could.
It hurts now, but you're sure that one day, you'll feel better about everything that happened between you.](else:)[You were expecting to feel a sense of closure after today, but instead you just feel frustrated. You still feel angry about the way your dad dismissed your feelings while you were growing up, and guilty about the way you took so much of your hurt out on him. Now that there's no way to talk to him, you wonder how you're going to deal with the the lingering pain.]
[[The train clatters out of Cliffport.|TrainLeaveMe]]
As the carriage emerges from the forest that borders Cliffport from the surrounding countryside, it starts to judder, shaking your entire body. You close your eyes and imagine you're blasting off into orbit, strapped to five hundred tonnes of rocket fuel.
(if: $AppDelete is true)[You push away thoughts of the Astronomica application. That's over now, you tell yourself, and you never stood a chance anyway.](else:)[](if: $AppSubmit is true)[You're glad you sent off your Astronomica application, even though you're not sure what sort of chance you stand of actually getting the job. By applying, you've acknowledged the direction you want your life to go, and that gives you hope for the future.](else:)[](if: $high is true)[
The effects of the joint you smoked earlier have dissipated, but you're still disturbed by the fact that you got high in the first place. Maybe one day you'll be able to face down something scary and difficult without a chemical shroud to protect your raw emotions.](else:)[](if: $Art_Good + $Jules_Good + $Ali_Good + $Ben_Good + $Dad_Good + $Jo_Good < -25)[
Overall, today was just as terrible, if not worse, than you'd been dreading. As the autumn sun sets over the distant line of trees, you feel the last of your optimism sink with it.](elseif: $Art_Good + $Jules_Good + $Ali_Good + $Ben_Good + $Dad_Good + $Jo_Good < 28)[
Today was never going to be a good day. But by acknowledging your emotions and being generous to others - even when it hurt - you feel better now than you have in years. As the autumn sun sets over the distant line of trees, you finally feel hopeful for the future.](else:)[
Today was never going to be easy. But as the autumn sun sets over the distant line of trees, you feel relieved that at least it's finally over.]
[[<strong>The End</strong>|End]]
Congratulations on finishing <em>Re-Entry</em>, I hope you enjoyed it. There are several ways to play, multiple endings, and lots of hidden pieces of dialogue. To see different different outcomes, try:
• Being nice to people you weren't nice to before, and vice versa. That includes yourself!
• Checking your mails and ZapChats at every opportunity. You'll get more messages throughout the day.
• Making time for everyone. Even if it's just to tell them how you <em>really</em> feel...
[[Play again!|Beginning]]
You lock the door behind you with shaking fingers, and then lean against it, your heart pounding.
The funeral has existed as an abstract concept in your mind for the last week. Now that it's less than an hour away, the reality hits you, and you start panicking.
Just as well you brought a tiny bag of something to take the edge off.
[[Take the weed out of your pocket.|Weed]]
[[This is a bad idea.|NoWeed]]
(if: $ShowScores is true)[
Statuses:
Ali: (print: $Ali_Good)
Jules: (print: $Jules_Good)
Ben: (print: $Ben_Good)
Sam: (print: $Jo_Good)
Dad: (print: $Dad_Good)
Self: (print: $Art_Good)]
(else:)[]
Double-click this passage to edit it.
[[<center><img src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-L872UCsCo0M/WPopn1ChpmI/AAAAAAAAG1w/UuN2wWuQ3HcBzo7UispDvWG2S_aWh0nfQCLcB/s1600/Re-Entry_Cover_Mary_Goodden_Interactive_Fiction.jpg" align="middle"></center>|Beginning]]
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