You try the doors, but they won't budge. They're locked!\n\nYou guess you'll have to see what's in the dungeons.\n\n[[Enter the dungeons.]]

You stride into the main keep. As soon as you cross the threshold, the heavy gate slides down behind you with a clang, shutting you in. You'll have to find another way out.\n\nThe entryway is enormous. The ceiling soars far above you, and the walls are draped with long tapestries. Your footfalls make no sound on the thick red carpet.\n\nAhead of you lies the great hall, its doors closed. To the side is a smaller door that leads to the dungeons. You know this because it has a sign that says "Dungeon Entrance - Mind Your Step."\n\n[[Enter the great hall.]]\n[[Enter the dungeons.]]

You squeeze through the narrow archway at the bottom of the dark tower and begin climbing the spiral stairs. \n\nActually, calling it a "dark tower" was unkind. It's really very well lit from small windows placed every few feet along the staircase. It's nicely ventilated, too.\n\nWhich is good, because there are so many stairs. So many, many stairs. You lose count after ten thousand, four hundred and sixty-two, and it seems like you've been climbing for hours since then.\n\nSuddenly, you reach the top. There's a low door with a sign that says: "Wizard Frozzleblip - Office Hours: 9am-6pm, Mon-Fri"\n\n[[Open the door.]]

You shift the mallet to your other hand, then grasp the shotgun by the stock and give it a tug. It won't budge. Apparently the clips that hold it in the box lock down tight whenever the lid is opened.\n\n[[Close the box.|malletCloseBox]]

You clamp the shotgun to your shoulder, aim, and squeeze the trigger. The blast rings out in the vast hall, and the side of the washing machine is peppered with little dents.\n\nSeriously. Shooting the washing machine? What were you expecting?\n\n<<display 'death'>>\n\nAt least you died in a pretty cool way. Lasers are awesome!\n\n[[TRY AGAIN|Go in to the main hall.]]

You tuck the shotgun under an arm and pocket the shells he gives you, thanking him repeatedly. You turn to go.\n\n"Oh, by the way," he says. "Use the back door of the keep, its a lot easier. Just remember, 'Monkeys Can't Staple.'"\n\nYou step out of the room and close the door behind you, shaking your head.\n\n[[Leave the tower and go to the keep's back door.]]

You stand before a massive castle, its walls and towers rising toward the sky. \n\nThis is Castle Doomstone.\n\nThis is where the dragon lives.\n\nToday, you fight evil! Today, you fight injustice! Today, you will get your bike back from that dirty, thieving dragon!\n\n[[Enter the castle.]]

You swing the shotgun to the side, aim, and pull the trigger. With a deafening roar and a crash, the window shatters, spraying shards of stained glass everywhere.\n\nWhich doesn't really accomplish anything.\n\n<<display 'death'>>\n\nAt least you died in a well-ventilated area.\n\n[[TRY AGAIN|Go in to the main hall.]]

The Star symbol clicks in and the whole door slides into the wall with a rumbling noise. Eureka!\n\n[[Go in to the main hall.]]

You push open the door, which creaks loudly.\n\nInside, you find a bearded old man in flowing robes stooped over a bubbling cauldron, stirring it carefully. A creepy mist flows from the pot and drifts across the floor toward you. The smell is overpowering.\n\n"Wizard Frozzleblip?" you call.\n\nThe elderly man turns, gazing at you with piercing eyes. He speaks, his voice low and powerful. "No, I'm the janitor," he intones. "Frozzleblip's on vacation until the 23rd. Can I help you?"\n\n[[Ask him for help against the dragon.]]

You press the Moon symbol, and it sinks into the door with a click. Hmm, what's next?\n\n[[Press Star.|shock]]\n[[Press Moon.|shock]]\n[[Press Comet.|combo3]]

You press the Comet symbol, clicking it into place. You should just need one more symbol.\n\n[[Press Star.|open]]\n[[Press Moon.|shock]]\n[[Press Comet.|shock]]

You undo the latch, and pull open the front of the box. You hear a click as it swings open. You fiddle with the mallet in your hand, puzzling.\n\n[[Take out the shotgun.|malletRemoveShotgun]]\n[[Close the box.|malletCloseBox]]

You angle the shotgun up at the long chain suspending the chandelier over the hall. Old Betsy roars, and sparks fly from the chain.\n\nPing! The chain snaps, and the chandelier drops, a ton of wrought iron and candles plummeting straight for the dragon's head. CLANG! The dragon passes out with a groan, trapped beneath the heavy light fixture.\n\nWhistling, you saunter over to the corner and pull your bike from the pile of treasure. You check. The bell still works.\n\nYou hop on your bike and ride down the middle of the hall. Opening the main doors, you pedal out the entryway, over the courtyard, and across the drawbridge, toward home and supper.\n\nTHE END

You aim at the mirror and pull the trigger. Old Betsy roars, and the mirror explodes into billions of tiny reflective shards, like glitter. Pretty.\n\nBut foolish.\n\n<<display 'death'>>\n\nAt least you died in a pretty cool way. Lasers are awesome!\n\n[[TRY AGAIN|Go in to the main hall.]]

You shoulder the shotgun, aim at the dragon's chest, and pull the trigger. The blast is deafening in the giant hall.\n\n"Sssssillly creature..." the dragon chortles, dusting off its scales. "It thought a ssssimple gun could hurt me!" The dragon's eyes are glowing a troubling color of red.\n\nYou swallow, backing up.\n\nYou've got one more shell left in Old Betsy, better make it count.\n\n[[Shoot the dragon again!]]\n[[Shoot the mirror!]]\n[[Shoot the washing machine!]]\n[[Shoot the Nintendo 64!]]\n[[Shoot the National Geographics!]]\n[[Shoot out the windows!]]\n[[Shoot down the chandelier!]]\n[[Grab your bike and run!]]

Castle Doomstone

You trudge back out of the dungeons and into the entryway, tracking syrup onto the carpet.\n\nYou try the key in the main hall door's lock. Click. The massive doors swing open!\n\n[[Go into the main hall.]]

You drop the shotgun and dive for the corner, tucking and rolling. You reach the bike and grab the handlebars, wrenching them free from the pile of gold coins.\n\nAs you tug the rest of your bike lose, out of the corner of your vision, you see something troubling...\n\n<<display 'death'>>\n\nAt least you died in a pretty cool way. Lasers are awesome!\n\n[[TRY AGAIN|Go in to the main hall.]]

You grasp the stock and fore end and give a tug. The gun won't budge! Apparently the clips that hold it in the box lock down tight whenever the lid is opened.\n\n[[Take out the mallet.]]\n[[Close the box.]]

Actually, it turns out this is the coat room for the main hall. The main hall is beyond another set of doors. \n\nThe coat room walls are lined with hooks. Dozens of coats, cloaks, and robes hang along either side. A tall rack holds a cluster of hats and scarves.\n\nOn the far wall, a long box mounted on the wall catches your eye. It has a window on the front and lettering that reads: IN CASE OF DRAGON, BREAK GLASS. Inside, hanging on two clips, is a double-barrel shotgun with "Old Betsy" engraved on its stock in cursive. Unfortunately, the mallet for breaking the glass is also inside the box. \n\nFortunately, there's a latch on the side of the box.\n\n[[Open the latch.]]

You aim downward and pull the trigger. The shotgun roars, and the old magazines fly into tiny educational scraps of paper.\n\nWhich doesn't really get you anywhere, dragon-wise.\n\n<<display 'death'>>\n\nAt least you died in a pretty cool way. Lasers are awesome!\n\n[[TRY AGAIN|Go in to the main hall.]]

You descend into the dungeons and have a lot of really cool adventures. Super crazy stuff. There's not enough space to write about them here, but suffice it to say they involved this troll and a unicorn and thirty pounds of waffles and you lost hearing in your left ear for a week.\n\nThe important thing is that at the end of the dungeon you found the key to the main hall.\n\n[[Go back to the entryway.]]

You trudge down the millions of stairs, finally reaching the courtyard. Following the janitor's advice, you go around the keep to the back and find a wide stone door set in the wall.\n\nOn the door are three symbols: a Star, a Moon, and a Comet. It must be some kind of combination password.\n\n[[Press Star.|shock]]\n[[Press Moon.|combo2]]\n[[Press Comet.|shock]]

The dragon's eyes are glowing white hot now, and emitting a high-pitched whine. That can't be good. Suddenly, with a pew-pew-pew sound, twin laser beams shoot from the dragon's eyes, incinerating you instantly.

You clamp the shotgun to your shoulder, draw a bead on the Nintendo 64, and squeeze the trigger.\n\nThe game console flies into shards of circuit board and gray plastic. Take that, nostalgia!\n\nIt doesn't really change the dragon situation, though.\n\n<<display 'death'>>\n\nAt least you died in a pretty cool way. Lasers are awesome!\n\n[[TRY AGAIN|Go in to the main hall.]]

With a battle cry, you level the shotgun at the dragon and blast it again!\n\nYou hear a ricochet, and remember that old saying: The definition of insanity is trying the same thing twice and expecting different results.\n\n<<display 'death'>>\n\nWhat a crazy way to die.\n\n[[TRY AGAIN|Go in to the main hall.]]

You swagger into the main hall, swinging Old Betsy on your hip. That dragon's either going to give back your bike, or eat lead!\n\nThe main hall is vast. Light streams in through high stained glass windows. Massive pillars and iron chandeliers arch over a gargantuan pile of gold and treasure. You see your bike in the corner, buried in coins. You also see a large mirror, a washing machine, an old Nintendo 64, and a stack of National Geographics sticking out of the pile. \n\nAnd atop it all sits the dragon, a smug look on his reptilian features.\n\n"Ssssoooo," the dragon hisses, eyes flaring red. "It hasss found me ssssooo sssooon?" It chuckles, a throaty rumbling. "It wantssss itsss precioussss little bike, doessss it?"\n\n[[Answer the dragon.]]\n\n

You march across the drawbridge and into the courtyard. Before you lies the main keep, its large doorway yawning open. To the right stands a dark tower, looming menacingly. And to the left sits a medium-sized rock. But it's not really important to the story.\n\n[[Enter the main keep.]]\n[[Enter the dark tower.]]

You grab the little mallet, which is surprisingly heavy.\n\n[[Take out the shotgun.|malletRemoveShotgun]]\n[[Close the box.|malletCloseBox]]

"Yes!" you say, not feeling as confident as you sound. "Give it back."\n\n"But I ssstole it fair and ssssquare..." hisses the dragon, unfurling its wings. It begins crawling down the pile of treasure towards you.\n\nIt's now or never.\n\n[[Shoot the dragon!]]\n[[Grab your bike and run!]]

You undo the latch, and pull open the front of the box. You hear a click as it swings open.\n\n[[Take out the shotgun.]]\n[[Take out the mallet.]]\n[[Close the box.]]

You swing the lid closed, and hear a click. The clips holding the shotgun unlock. But you can't get at the shotgun with the lid closed.\n\n[[Open the latch.]]

As soon as you touch the symbol, a powerful electric current jolts your body, throwing you to the ground.\n\nNow you'll have to start all over again. What did the old janitor say, something about "Monkeys Can't Staple?" Maybe that was a hint.\n\n[[Press Star.|shock]]\n[[Press Moon.|combo2]]\n[[Press Comet.|shock]]

You shift the mallet to your other hand and swing the box lid shut. You hear a click. The clips holding the shotgun are unlocked, the gun resting just out of reach behind the glass.\n\n[[Open the latch.|malletOpenBox]]\n[[Break the glass with the mallet.]]\n

Carefully reaching between the splinters of glass, you grasp the shotgun by the stock and fore end and tug. It comes free!\n\nRaising Old Betsy over your head, you give her a shake. "This... is... my... boomstick!" you shout, to no one in particular.\n\n[[Go in to the main hall.]]

"Um," you stammer. "Is that potion you're making strong enough I could use it to kill a dragon?"\n\nThe janitor strokes his long whiskers a moment. "Potion? Oh, no, this is just my laundry." He puts down the stirring stick. "But if you want to kill the dragon, I believe I know just the thing."\n\nHe hobbles over to a shelf cluttered with bottles and flasks of all shapes and sizes. He reaches a few of them down, wheezing with the effort. Then from the back of the shelf he lifts out a double-barrel shotgun.\n\n"Old Betsy here," he says, patting the firearm affectionately. "She ought to do the trick."\n\n[[Take the shotgun.]]

You wind up and smack the mallet into the window, shattering it. Shards clatter to the floor and crunch beneath your shoes. Old Betsy rests within on the unlocked clips.\n\n[[Take out the shotgun.|brokenGetShotgun]]

Strangelander