she came from the fog

<center> <h1>she came from the fog</h1> </center> [align center] [[Begin]]

She came from the fog. I saw her on the tracks, underneath the powerlines crackling with electricity. Sparks flew down onto the cold rails as she approached, both fast and slow at the same time. I didn't question how that's possible - you just don't question anything about women like her. I don't think my friends saw her, and this could be because they see her every single day, but I was awestruck, and she knew about it. She smiled, and this smile was [[for me.]]

Her fangs were sharpened and polished to perfection. "Came back to see me?", she asked as she put her arms around me. Her touch was always scorching hot, and I never pulled away, no matter how much it hurt. "You know I miss you", I told her. "[[I miss you]]", I said again as I pulled her closer. She said nothing - just stroked my hair like she always does, precisely, slowly. There's no place for error for her, and even displays of affection had to be calculated.

I love her. I always loved her, but she didn't really love me back. We rarely even see each other these days, anyway, and maybe it's because [[we're not really meant to be]]. Fate just isn't on our side. "Beautiful night", she said, staring up. "Starless." She snuffs out stars wherever she goes - possibly, she's never seen them. I told her about the stars once, and she laughed. *Why would you need that?*, she said between fits of laughter. *You can make your own.*

She disappeared on the night tram. I don't remember where it went, and I don't think it's relevant. All I could think about was the reflection of the light polluted sky in her glasses. Her vision is perfect, but she wears glasses anyway, just as a fuck you to Mother Nature. They don't really like each other all that much. I was dreaming about her through the whole night. I kept seeing her in the fog, on the tracks, gesturing for me to walk with her, and I'd love to follow, but I find myself completely stuck. A tram passes and she dissolves, and then, [[there's nothing]].

The next time I met her was in a museum. I watched in awe as 19th century machine heaved wildly, still doing its great work. Then, I felt her arms around me again when she hugged me from behind; her breath, [[steam and smoke]], tickled my ear. It was loud enough in here to wake up the dead, but I heard her loud and clear when she whispered. "I was there when there were thousands of those. Hot as fuck."

Her breath was heavy, with a metallic echo to it. I leaned into her and I knew she's going to hold me, just for this moment. I couldn't stop thinking about how badly I wanted this to last, but I knew it's impossible. She whispered more when her hands went underneath my hoodie. Shame was a foreign concept for her, and for a split second, it was a foreign concept for me as well. Everyone was watching, but nobody saw us. [["I want you"]], she said.

Always *I want you*, never *I need you*, never *I love you*. I no longer expect her to say anything like this. You just need to know your place sometimes. She just takes me whenever she wants, and I never say *no*. I don't know when will be the next time I'll see her again, so I take whatever moment I can get. Her kisses taste like metal and smoke, and she wears gasoline as perfume. Her heart ticks like a clock and roars like an engine, and when she moans in my ear, it sounds like a screech of a [[tram hitting the brakes]].

Next day, she sat next to me in the train. This was the last time I saw her, and she wasn't even looking at me. "Say you'll miss me too", I pleaded. She shot me a brief glance, full of nothing but pity. "If I missed any sucker who falls for me, I'd do nothing but miss people for centuries", she said nonchalantly. "I thought you knew your place." [["I do."]]

She gave me last loveless kiss. It was long. It tasted like blood, sweat and tears. It's all I deserve, and all I'll ever have. And then, she left the train, not making a sound. I watched as she walked along the train tracks; she disappeared into the fog, back where she came from. I still see her silhouette along the train tracks when I go on my walks. I keep seeing her in my dreams. Maybe we'll get back together one day. For now, all that's left is just a fantasy.