label char: show char neutral at center hide charstats p "I think I’ll go with Char." hide char #begin Char story label storyC1: "I think back to how I met her, trying to decide what to do now. I did end up with her number, although I don’t know what to do with it." p "Well, I suppose I’ll make myself some breakfast for now." "I say, still waking up." "After a bowl of cereal and milk (yes, I know, I’m boring) I jump in the shower, my mind racing." "She's still on my mind from last night. I pull out my phone, figuring I’ll send her a text. Just to see what’s up, you know." "I retype several iterations of the word hi, wondering if girls do the same thing when talking to a guy they’re interested in." "After deciding that a simple ‘hi’ would be too boring, I decide to send a spicy meme." label meme: "What should I send?" label char_start: $ Char_Points = 0 menu: "Rare Pepe": $ Char_Points -= 1 jump meme_pepe "Cat pictures": $ Char_Points += 1 jump meme_cats label meme_pepe: $ menu_flag = True "I decide to send her a dank rare Pepe, just to test the waters" jump choice_meme label meme_cats: $ menu_flag = False "I decide to go with cat pictures, because cats are amazing, and I think she mentioned that she had a cat." jump choice_meme #story label choice_meme: "I hit send, and decide to play some games. Char's got me thinking about Dark Souls, so I set up my controller and grab a beer to keep me sane." play sound "text.ogg" "Less than a minute later, my phone lets me know I have a new text. I haven't even loaded the game yet." "Surprised, I glance at the screen, seeing Char's name pop up. I curiously unlock my phone and open the text." "She heart reacted to the pic I sent her, and replied with a gif of a cat stretching and rolling off a roof and a few laughing emojis. I decide that sending cat pictures to her is generally the right choice." play sound "text.ogg" show toraphone: xalign 0.5 yalign 0.6 "My phone buzzes with a few more cat pictures, all of the same black cat, which I assume to be her own." p_text "Is that yours?" c_text "Yes! Her name is Tora! Isn't she precious?" p_text "She certainly is." play sound "text.ogg" c_text "Wanna see my other pets???" p_text "Lol, sure." hide toraphone show tora: xalign 0.1 yalign 0.6 show hannibalphone: xalign 0.5 yalign 0.6 "She sends me a picture of a turtle." "It's the ugliest fucking turtle I've ever seen." c_text "His name is Hannibal! He's a snapping turtle! Isn't he just adorable?" p_text "Haha, sure. Great name, btw." "She sends me another picture. I almost drop my phone." hide hannibalphone show hannibal: xalign 0.9 yalign 0.6 show keekeephone: xalign 0.5 yalign 0.6 label centipede: label char3e_start: menu: "Wtf": $ Char_Points -= 1 jump choice3e_yes "Cool!": $ Char_Points += 1 jump choice3e_no "?????": $ Char_Points += 0 jump choice3e_neither label choice3e_yes: $ menu_flag = True p_text "What in the fuck is that and why do you have it?!" jump choice_centipede label choice3e_no: $ menu_flag = False p_text "That's pretty cool!" jump choice_centipede label choice3e_neither: $ menu_flag = False p_text "???????" jump choice_centipede label choice_centipede: c_text "This is my centipede! Her name is Kakuja, but Keekee for short! She's so gorgeous!" "(This girl is fucking crazy... but I think I like it.)" hide keekeephone hide hannibal hide tora c_text "Anyway whatcha up to?" p_text "Dark Souls and beer." c_text "That's the life right there. Jealous!" "I think for a moment. Would it be weird to ask her over to play video games the day after I met her?" "I'm not antisocial by any means, but after seeing how defensive she was when I invited her to the bar, I pause for a moment." "Aurora would probably eat me alive if I did anything." p "Wait [name] what are you even thinking about? You just met her." "And now I'm talking to myself." "I should at least get to know her better before anything else." "To be fair, I haven't been with anyone for over a year. My last girlfriend and I ended on good terms, but I've been too focused on work to really have time for relationships." "Should I ask her over?" label storyC2: menu: "Yes": $ Char_Points += 1 jump choice2_yes "Nah": $ Char_Points -= 1 jump choice2_no label choice2_yes: $ menu_flag = True "I decide to go for it. It's just gaming, not Netflix and Chill." jump choice_yesAsk label choice2_no: $ menu_flag = False "I decide not to do anyting, and instead go back to playing Dark Souls, texting her casually between areas." jump choice2_done #ask her over label choice_yesAsk: p_text "Wanna come over?" "I hit send, not really sure what to expect. Char seems kind of unpredictable, but not necessarily in a bad way." "I realise I probably should have been more specific in that last text." p_text "To play Dark Souls, I mean." "I clarify, just so there were no misunderstandings." "I pick up my controller and work my way through the tutorial boss in a few minutes." play sound "text.ogg" "My phone goes off, making me jump a little. Pulling myself back into the real world, I look at the screen." c_text "Today? Now? I" c_text "Oh! I need to feed" c_text "Hey what?" c "Sorry? Yes!" "I'm confused as all hell by her reply, not really sure what to make of the seemingly random string of words she's put together." p_text "Are you okay?" c_text "No. I mean yes, yes I am okay. What was the question?" "I frown a little, mildly concerned, and majorly confused." p_text "Did you want to come over and play Dark Souls?" c_text "Oh of course yes right. Yes I'd love to!" "Well, I've finally gotten a solid answer, so that's a step in the right direction." c_text "I just need like two hours to get ready." "I stare at my phone. Okay, I know women stereotypically take a long time to get ready, but two hours? That seems a bit excessive. What could she possibly be doing for two hours?" play sound "text.ogg" c_text "I had a dream about you!" "(Well, that's a surprise.)" p_text "Oh?" c_text "Yeah I'll tell you when I get there! It's wayyy too long to type lmao." p_text "Fair enough!" "Now I'm curious, but hold it for now. I go back to playing games, letting Char do whatever she needs to do to 'get ready'." "." ". ." ". . ." "About an hour has gone by when..." play sound "text.ogg" "My phone buzzes, and I decide I've had enough time to refamiliarise myself with Dark Souls." "I think to myself that I should probably put something on besides old boxer shorts and a bathrobe." "I check my phone." c_text "Do you prefer straight or wavy hair? Just wondering." "I think about hair in general, decide I don't have an opinion, but remember her hair to be wavy, so I decide to tell her I prefer..." #choose hair label choice_hair: menu: "Straight": $ Char_Points += 0 jump choice3_yes "Wavy": $ Char_Points += 1 jump choice3_no "Doesn't matter": $ Char_Points -= 1 jump choice3_neither label choice3_yes: $ menu_flag = True p_text "Straight." c_text "Oh ok." jump choice3_day label choice3_no: $ menu_flag = False p_text "Wavy." c_text "^_^ awesome!" jump choice3_day label choice3_neither: $ menu_flag = False p_text "I don't really care." c_text "Ughhhh ok" jump choice3_day #story label choice3_day: "I'm about to go upstairs to grab some real clothes when..." play sound "text.ogg" c_text "What's your favourite colour?" "I notice that she uses the British spelling for words. It's oddly adorable." #choose colour label char4_start: menu: "Tell her": $ Char_Points += 1 jump choice4_yes "Ask why": $ Char_Points += 0 jump choice4_no "Don't have one": $ Char_Points -= 1 jump choice4_neither label choice4_yes: $ menu_flag = True "I tell her my favourite colour." c_text "Thank you!!!" jump choice4_day1 label choice4_no: $ menu_flag = False p_text "Why all the questions?" c_text "Just wondering" jump choice4_day2 label choice4_neither: $ menu_flag = False p_text "I don't really have one." c_text "*sigh* boooooring" jump choice4_day2 #good colour label choice4_day1: "I throw on some real clothes and make my way back downstairs, deciding I should check what food I have." "After discovering I definitely don't have enough to entertain a guest, I text her." p_text "Do you wanna get a pizza later?" c_text "Omg do I!!!" "Well that was successful." "." ". ." ". . ." "Another half hour goes by and I've indulged in my guilty pleasure, Candy Crush, while reclining on my sofa." play sound "text.ogg" c_text "Omw" "I jump up, checking to make sure everything looks neat enough to have a pretty girl over." "(Do all guys worry about that? Or did my parents just raise me to be extra polite?)" stop music fadeout 1 play music "happy.ogg" fadein 1 "A few minutes later, my doorbell rings, and I walk over to the front door, unlocking it and welcoming her in." show char neutral p "Hey Char!" "I say, holding the door open and keeping a polite distance in case she's still nervous. I notice immediately that she's done her makeup in my favourite colour." jump day2 #bad colour label choice4_day2: "I throw on some real clothes and make my way back downstairs, deciding I should check what food I have." "After discovering I definitely don't have enough to entertain a guest, I text her." p "Do you wanna get a pizza later?" c "Omg do I!!!" "Well that was successful." "." ". ." ". . ." "Another half hour goes by and I've indulged in my guilty pleasure, Candy Crush, while reclining on my sofa." play sound "text.ogg" c "Omw" "I jump up, checking to make sure everything looks neat enough to have a pretty girl over." "(Do all guys worry about that? Or did my parents just raise me to be extra polite?)" "A few minutes later, my doorbell rings, and I walk over to the front door, unlocking it and welcoming her in." show char neutral p "Hey Char!" "I say, holding the door open and keeping a polite distance in case she's still nervous." #story label day2: show char laugh "Char throws her arms around me and hugs me, grinning." "I'm taken aback, but hug her back." #"It wasn't obvious yesterday, because of her dark hoodie, but I can tell now: This girl has huge boobs. And she's pressing them against me." "My cheeks flare with colour, and I pull myself away awkwardly." "Seeming not to notice, she starts talking." show char neutral stop music fadeout 1 play music "raindrops.ogg" fadein 1 c "I have GOT to tell you about my dream, it was so crazy!!" p "Hahaha okay, come on in." show char surprise "We walk to my room where my PC is set up. She stares into my room." p "Is something wrong?" c "It's just... so... clean!" "I laugh out loud. She really is cute." show char neutral "She takes off her hoodie, sits down on my bed, and starts talking again." hide char show charshirt neutral label dream: c "Okay so my dream was..." show charshirt sad c "I worked at a farm but it slowly started getting darker, like, weirder, and then people started going missing and also Pikachu was there, and you were there but it became like a labyrinth and we couldn’t get out..." "(Okay, so definitely not what I was expecting, but... interesting)" "She continues." show charshirt surprise c "...and there was one part where I broke out of the creepy barn world and started acting out Mamma Mia and doing all the dances and putting on stage makeup and costumes but then I got pulled back into the barn world..." show charshirt confused "(Wow, okay)" c "...and then the last straw was when the cats started disappearing because I had left my Rize cosplay in a locker but it was too labyrinth-y for me to find so I went to the main house and..." p "Wait, Rize, like, Tokyo Ghoul?" show charshirt happy c "Yessss it's my favourite anime! You've seen it?" p "Of COURSE I've seen it." show charshirt laugh "She jumps up and hugs me again. I laugh nervously." p "So back to your dream?" show charshirt confused c "Oh yeah where was I??" p "Something about a Rize cosplay in a barn?" show charshirt surprise c "OH right!" show charshirt neutral c "So I went to the main house and asked what happened to the cats and my neighbour from home said 'We don't talk about that,' so I looked at her and said that I needed to go back into the barn to find my Rize cosplay and my Pokémon pyjamas..." c "...and she sighed and asked if I was sure and I said yes and then she took me in and we went to this door and I suddenly remembered at the beginning of like our training they said..." show charshirt surprise c "...never to go to this door because the World Eater was behind it and no one has ever been able to defeat it..." show charshirt laugh "Char's started laughing by now, obviously amused by her own story." "This was the weirdest dream I had ever heard." "Little did I know, this would become a daily thing, her describing her bizarre dreams to me in vivid detail." show charshirt surprise c "Oh also I was a cat. And the world eater was a dragon-cat. It was like a giant cat's face attached to a dragon's body." p "I see." show charshirt laugh "Char's laughing so hard by this point I think she's going to cry." c "...And I had 2 forms I could be the light cat or the dark cat and so I got 2 tries to kill it but I died both times and so then someone made a card that had drawings of me as a live cat..." show charshirt surprise c "...and it turns out that the cats that I had seen were all me in my imagination and that I was some sort of insane delusional shape shifting cat." "I'm just staring at her, confused, but she's not done." c "And that everything had been in my mind the whole barn thing but I was stuck in this reality where I had to keep fighting the World Eater but I could never win. Because I was a cat." c "And every time I’d go in to fight him again I’d see my cat corpses from all the previous times I’d fought him and at first they were neatly lined up like trophies but then they just started piling up in the corner." "Char takes a deep breath." show charshirt laugh c "And that was my dream!" c "Now I want a cupcake!" "(Hmmm... so she's a bit odd. I mean, I knew that already.)" "I stare at her for a moment, then clap." p "Well, that's certainly pretty..." #choose dream label char5_start: menu: "Interesting": $ Char_Points += 0 jump choice5_yes "Weird": $ Char_Points -= 1 jump choice5_no "Crazy": $ Char_Points += 1 jump choice5_neither label choice5_yes: $ menu_flag = True p "...pretty interesting!" show charshirt neutral c "Thanks, lol, I think?" jump choice5_day label choice5_no: $ menu_flag = False p "...pretty weird." show charshirt sad c "Hah, yeah I guess so." jump choice5_day label choice5_neither: $ menu_flag = False p "...pretty crazy." show charshirt happy c "LOL I know right?" jump choice5_day label choice5_day: p "So d'ya wanna play?" show charshirt happy c "Oh totally!" show charshirt confused c "By the way I should tell you..." "(Oh god, what's it gonna be this time?)" show charshirt laugh c "...I have a weird obsession with Ornstein." "(?????)" p "Ornstein as in... Dragonslayer Ornstein. As in, the boss that makes most people quit Dark Souls?" "Char nods enthusiastically." p "But... why??" show charshirt neutral #c "I honestly have no idea but I think he's totally sexy and just listening to the boss music is arousing so I figured I'd warn you. Also I can't fight him because seeing him induces orgasms. I really like Ornstein." #"(Wow. I can't tell if this is a good thing or a bad thing. On the one hand, it'll make things easier for me, if it got to that...)" #"(...on the other hand, she's aroused by a suit of armour.)" #"I decide to just roll with it. Hey, everyone has their kinks. If hers is a Dark Souls boss, I'm not gonna judge." show charshirt sad "Char looks at me, and I realise I'm just standing there staring at her." show charshirt angry "She facepalms." show charshirt sad c "WHY did I tell you that, what the fuck is wrong with me?! Oh god I'm just gonna leave kill me now." p "Wait hold up! It honestly doesn't bother me lol. We can just forget you said it if you want. Come on, let's play!" show charshirt surprise "Char looks up at me, blinking in surprise." show charshirt confused c "I'm so fucking sorry lol. My ADHD is out of hand today I'm all over the place." "(Ahhhh there it is. That would explain it. The randomness and awkwardness.)" "Not that I mind, I consider myself to be a very patient person, so I don't really have a problem with it at all. In other words, it's not a turn off." show charshirt neutral p "It's cool. Don't stress it, seriously. Where are you in-game?" "Char sits down at the computer and logs herself into Steam. She grumbles and confirms the machine on her phone." show charshirt confused c "I can't beat Gwyn. He used to be Ornstein's lord so I have moral qualms about injuring him." "(Wow she wasn't kidding about being obsessed with Ornstein.)" show charshirt blush c "...Also I can't get the parrying time right. I keep misjudging and getting his arm instead." p "Ah gotcha. Let me see you try it a few times, and I'll give you some tips." show charshirt neutral "I pull up a chair next to her." "For the next 45 minutes, I guide her through the final boss of Dark Souls, giving her pointers and helping her master the timing." show charshirt laugh c "FINALLY! You don't even understand how long I've been trying to beat him!" "I laugh." p "Glad to be of assistance." show charshirt neutral c "Can we go back to Anor Londo just so I can look at Ornstein's arena?" p "Sure, lol." "She travels back to Anor Londo and stares at the empty chamber for a good ten minutes, walking around and looking at the mostly bare walls and destroyed pillars that litter the ground." "(Not judging. Anor Londo is pretty, I suppose.)" show charshirt laugh c "That was fun! Can we get food now??" show charshirt neutral p "Sure. Pizza?" show charshirt happy c "DOMINO'S! I have a free pizza to redeem online anyway." p "Sounds good to me. How about toppings?" c "My favourite is pineapple!" #choose pizza label char6_start: menu: "Ew!": $ Char_Points -= 1 jump choice6_yes "Yum!": $ Char_Points += 1 jump choice6_no "Oh.": $ Char_Points += 0 jump choice6_neither label choice6_yes: $ menu_flag = True p "Ew, you like pineapple pizza?" show charshirt sad c "Oh, I suppose... we don't have to, it was just a suggestion." p "Oh, no no, it's fine. How about half and half?" jump choice6_day label choice6_no: $ menu_flag = False p "Hey that's my favourite too!" show charshirt laugh c "Really?? That's awesome!" p "Yep! How about we get half and half? I love regular too." jump choice6_day label choice6_neither: $ menu_flag = False "(Well I suppose we could get half pineapple.)" p "How about we get half pineapple?" show charshirt neutral jump choice6_day label choice6_day: show charshirt happy c "Sounds good to me!" "We end up ordering half pineapple, half plain." c "This is great!" p "Yeah it is pretty good." "I honestly have no idea what I'm doing at this point, or what I'm expected to do." "Again, that's not to say I don't have any experience talking to women, Char's just a bit..." label char7_start: menu: "Weird": $ Char_Points -= 1 jump choice7_yes "Different": $ Char_Points -= 0 jump choice7_no "Unique": $ Char_Points += 1 jump choice7_maybe label choice7_yes: $ menu_flag = True "...weird." jump choice7_done label choice7_no: $ menu_flag = False "...different." jump choice7_done label choice7_weird: $ menu_flag = False "...unique." jump choice7_done label choice7_done: "BUTTS" label current: "THIS IS AS FAR AS I'VE GOTTEN 6/2/18." "[Char_Points]"