label the_manwolf: window hide with Pause(1) show text "The Naked Man" with dissolve with Pause(2) hide text with dissolve window show show woods zorder 1 with dissolve "???" "Oh gods, not again! Oh please not again!" """ You don't recognise the man's voice, although his accent, even twisted as it is by rage and despair, is unmistakably local. He is not difficult to find; he is frankly making an irresponsible amount of noise as he wails and crashes through the undergrowth. The most obvious thing about him is that he is naked. You have spent most of your life in the north, so your immediate thought is not about impropriety, but about frostbite. But while the man does look cold - his arms are clasped tight around himself and the light from the bright full moon catches on the hairs standing up all over his arms and legs - he looks healthy enough. He sees you just a moment after you see him and instantly thrusts his open palm towards you and cries: """ "???" "Don't look at me!" $manwolfcare = 0 menu: "What's wrong?": $c=1 "Oh please, let me help you!": $c=1 $manwolfcare +=1 "What kind of idiot are you, out here naked in the cold?": $c=1 $manwolfcare -=1 "???" """ I'm a monster! I'm a sick, twisted abomination! I'm one of them again, one of those sick perverted murderous monsters! Why did it have to happen again! Why, why! Did I eat something bad? Or, oh no, did I do something wrong? Do I deserve this? Oh god it's too much! It's too hard! """ "The man, who has either forgotten you are there or is intentionally ignoring you, starts bashing his head against a rock hard enough that it does not take long before blood is running down his face." menu: "*Pull the man away from the rock*": $c=2 "You lean down to help the man, but he pushes you away violently." $manwolfcare +=1 $c=4 "Stop, please!": $c=4 "*Do nothing*": $c=3 """ The man continues to slam his head against the rock, sending drops of blood spattering across the white snow, until he finally collapses, his glassy eyes staring vaguely up at the stars. For a moment you think he must be dead, but then he begins to speak. """ $manwolfcare -=1 $c=4 "???" """ I am evil! Surely I am evil, if not always then at least sometimes! But is it now, in knowledge, or then, in ignorance? I know it does not matter. I know what I must do because of it, but oh gods, why do I feel like I have to know! Why do I have this imperative, why do I feel like I do when I hunger or thirst? You! You are accustomed to this form, you are a mindful slaughterer. Maybe you can help me? Tell me, is it evil to kill without feeling, without empathy, without thought, just for the satiation of hunger? Or is it evil to kill with knowledge, with purpose, in the execution of some higher plan but knowing all the while the suffering you are causing? """ menu: "Neither is evil, killing is just part of life.": $c=5 "With one fluid motion, the man picks himself up, slams his head hard against the rock again, and looks at you." "???" """ That's a blatant lie! The prey animals do not kill. And if you want to twist it around and say they do, they kill the plants, then I will follow you that extra step and deny you again, because then the plants would count, but the plants don't kill. I am an animal of the hunt when I am what I should always have been. Yes, I must kill, but is that not wrong? If I were to threaten to take away your life if you did not end the life of a third party, would you be morally clean because your actions were a survival necessity? Whatever you say, the answer is not clear cut. My true existence is one of evil, the necessity of which does nothing to alleviate the suffering of my victims. Perhaps that is why I am cursed? """ $manwolfcare -=1 $c=10 "Neither is evil, so long as the need is great enough and the plan necessary.": $c=6 "???" """ You think necessity is an excuse? Interesting. But is this a universal belief among your kind? And surely you must see that the conclusion is not a necessary one, ironically. I am an animal of the hunt when I am what I should always have been. Yes, I must kill, but is that not wrong? If I were to threaten to take away your life if you did not end the life of a third party, would you be morally clean because your actions were a survival necessity? Whatever you say, the answer is not clear cut. My true existence is one of evil acts, the necessity of which does nothing to alleviate the suffering of my victims. Perhaps that is why I am cursed? Regardless, it seems to me that the suffering created should be the marker of evil, but perhaps you are right and the intention does play a role in moral judgement ... """ $c=10 "Only killing mindlessly is evil. Killing without remorse is the act of a monster.": $c=7 "???" """ Then I have been a monster. I and all my pack. I cannot harm them. I hope you see that. I cannot reach outside of the bounds of my own guilt. But I do have guilt. And I do not know if my remorse now, my recognition of the foulness of my deeds, can possibly outweigh the moral crimes I have committed, the blood I have spilled and flesh I have torn with no thought at all for the souls I was extinguishing. But if my remorse cannot wipe away the sins of my past, then would my death serve any better? """ $c=10 "Only killing knowingly is evil. It is knowing that what you are doing is wrong that makes the act evil: that is why animals and young children cannot be evil.": $c=8 "The man wails and with one fluid motion he picks himself up, slams his head hard against the rock again and looks up at you." "???" """ Then I have truly {i}become{/i} a monster. I am tortured. I am ripped apart by both the chaos and darkness of my thoughts. But I am also made a sinner by them. My animal morality, my simple logic, has shattered and I am left with nothing but a remorseful husk, driven by biological necessity to do what I know is wrong. This curse, then, twists my mind much more than it taints my body, for my thoughts have opened the gates of my soul to sin. I can reason now that my actions are wrong and thus I can be, should be, blamed. I am evil. """ $manwolfcare -=1 $c=10 "Both are evil. It is totally irrelevant what the murderer is thinking, killing is wrong.": $c=9 "???" """ Then my sin has changed form, but not substance. Necessity, intention, thought, it all means naught to the victim of the act. So why should it matter in the moral calculus? Whatever I think, the observable phenomenon is the same, so you are right, why should anything but the result matter? And what a result! Immediate pain yes, but then {i}cessation of life{/i}. A thousand happinesses never achieved. And the grief too, the denial of joy to any who may know them. The same can be said for those who would starve, however. And what of self defence? But that question is quite beside the point. You refer to the act of murder, but I wish to know about the culpability of the murderer. There is a question of numbers, a question I did not ask, but now I diverge. I kill. I must in order to survive, so I do and I have, many, many times. If the act is evil, then I am evil. """ $manwolfcare -=1 $c=10 "???" """ But put all that aside and turn to the positive. As well as 'why not?', 'why?' Why live? I have not been able to work my way through that question: 'why live?' I presume a meaning or purpose, but what is it and am I wrong in that assumption? Tell me. Why do we live? """ window hide menu: "We live because we are born.": $c=11 window show "The man throws back his head and laughs." "???" """ You amuse me, born slaughterer. All of this cognitive power and all you do is find words for the feeling I had before. It interests me that your thought-truth and my instinct-truth match. It interests me, but it does not give me hope. You say, bluntly, that there is no meaning. There is no positive to outweigh the negative that you have still not convinced me my existence is not. There is no goal, nothing to justify suffering. Perhaps I was wrong to criticise. The argument gains strength from its simplicity. """ $manwolfcare -= 1 if manwolfcare <= 1: $c=17 else: $c=18 "We exist to carry on our line. Survive long enough to have children and then protect them for as long as we can.": $c=12 window show "???" """ You amuse me, born slaughterer. All of this cognitive power and all you do is find words for the feelings that I find in my pack. It interests me that your thought-truth and my companions' instinct-truth match. It is a simple argument, but perhaps it gains strength from its simplicity. But it simply raises another question for me. What is my line? In what form am I meant to breed? Does it matter? Or is it the only thing that {i}does{/i} matter? Am I even capable? My females have not been in season since the last time I found myself like this. And even if they were, it would take some time to tell if our intercourse had any effect. Time in which my existence will do nothing but cause suffering. """ if manwolfcare <= 1: $c=17 else: $c=18 "We live to enjoy life. There is only one thing we all want: happiness. We live for our own, personal enjoyment. I can see no better argument than that for a meaning of life.": $c=13 window show "The man stares at you for several seconds as the flow of blood from his ruined forehead begins to slow." "???" """ Personal enjoyment? It feels bad in my head, like the taste of old deer. But it would make sense. It is a guide of my pack and indeed I can see it in everything, save your kind, slaughterer. And I cannot say it isn't efficient. That is something your kind seems to neglect, but the value of efficiency is something all the rest of us remember. If the aim for us all is our happiness, then we shall all be as happy as we can. We will not waste our energy and time attempting to find more, or suffer for others. If happiness is the goal, then it is not just within my reach, it is something that is constantly achievable. And if we all strive for our own, then nothing will be wasted. The maggots would not leave an old kill untouched for me. So why should I leave a share for the maggots? """ $manwolfcare +=1 if manwolfcare <= 1: $c=17 else: $c=18 "We live because we are all part of the universe. We are expressions of what can be done and therefore all life is equal and meaningful, because all movements of the universe are equally both important and pointless.": $c=14 window show "???" """ Your words confuse me, slaughterer. You are saying that we are all part of existence, tiny fragments of a whole, each as important as any other, like drops of water in a stream, each essential to make the whole? Or are you saying that we are actors, each expression of what is possible inherently valuable because of its unique narratives and movements, however dark or tragic? Either way, your idea is foreign. But all of this is foreign, all of this thought, all of this doubt, all of this screaming maddening pain. It is true that only I can live this life, only I can play this part. And what an extraordinary part it is. """ $manwolfcare +=1 if manwolfcare <= 1: $c=17 else: $c=18 "We live to honour the gods and carry on their memory and message.": $c=15 window show "???" """ What gods? Somehow I know the concept, somehow I grasp the full meaning of your words, but I know of no gods. All of this, somehow I know it all a priori. But I do not know god beyond a very vague idea. I have never met a god, or smelt it on the wind, or found one's corpse. If the purpose of life is to carry on a god's message, then I am truly lost, because the message passed me by. """ $manwolfcare -= 1 if manwolfcare <= 1: $c=17 else: $c=18 "There is only one thing we all want: happiness. I can see no better argument than that for a meaning of life, so our purpose must be to maximise happiness within the world and stop what suffering we can.": $c=16 window show "???" """ There! There is the true answer to my first question! It {i}is{/i} all a calculus! If the purpose of life is to propagate happiness, then our acts are the only true measure of worth. Which makes it simpler, but not easy. To kill is simply to kill, then. The forcible cessation of life. The end of a being's potential happiness. Perhaps a single death can justify the life of another. Perhaps the deaths of the old, or the short-lived, perhaps then even a few could justify the continued life of one young and bright. But while I am not old, I am also not bright. I suffer. The hunt does not thrill me and the taste of flesh sickens me. I will generate little more happiness, but will continue to snuff it in others. I {i}am{/i} evil. """ $manwolfcare -= 2 if manwolfcare <= 1: $c=17 else: $c=18 if c==17: "The man turns his face towards the sky, staring up at the moon." "???" """ I wish I didn't know. Excuses or no, I wish I did not have this burden. There are answers I'll never have. What power is it that changes me? Why must the moon be full? Why me? And why does my body shift from the form of a wolf to the form of a man? It's too late. I know what I know. These thoughts will never leave me. In the end, the scales are not balanced. I am cursed and I {i}am{/i} a curse. Goodbye, slaughterer. You have helped me affirm what I already suspected. Good luck on your own course. I am sorry your awakening will not be as quick as mine was. """ $game.status_manwolf = 'Doomed' $game.occult_connection -=4 if c==18: "The man turns his face towards the sky, staring up at the moon." "???" """ How does your kind do it, slaughterer? How do you cope with all your thoughts? It is difficult to believe that once my mind could contain little more than the hunt and affection for my pups. I feel that it is wrong to miss that time, but I do. I will live. Maybe then I will gain the answers to the questions that still remain outstanding. What power is it that changes me? Why must the moon be full? Why me? And why does my body shift from the form of a wolf to the form of a man? Your thoughts and deeds have soothed me. I will continue to think. But maybe I will find some light, once I have calmed the screaming madness that is this level of thought. But I do hope you can survive the darkness, for if my life is worth living, then so is yours. """ $game.status_manwolf = 'saved' $game.occult_connection +=4 hide woods with dissolve return