Observation Log 2/18/94:
Good time to view Canis Major. What a noble constelation.
Definately a Great Dane. Look at those shoulders!
Maintenance Log 2/21/94:
The systems are strung out tighter than a
Christmas tree. I don't think she'll be able to
take much more of this.
Observation Log 5/17/94:
Wonderful view from up here, but the food is lousy.
Observation Log 5/19/94:
My god, it's full of stars
Observation Log 5/26/94:
The doctor said I'm fortunate I still have vision left in one eye.
Still, next time I must remember to use that solar filter before
observing the Sun...
Observation Log 5/31/94:
I'm a dog! What the hell do I know about space?
Observation (from a Weiner Dog) Log 6/13/94:
ALL THESE WORLDS ARE YOURS EXCEPT EUROPA. ATTEMPT NO LANDINGS THERE.
Observation Log 7/12/94:
Looks like Jupiter is still in one piece.
Observation Log 7/26/94:
Hey, what's that watermellon doing there?
Observation Log 8/11/94:
Perseids meteor shower tonight (damn clouds)
Observation Log 8/15/94:
Ack! I think I cut my paw on this here Telescope. Now
what did I do with that bandaid......
Observation Log 11/4/94:
I've spent hours looking through this telescope and still no sign of that
damn stick. Of course, that couple in the apartment building across the
river certainly were interesting to watch.
Observation Log 11/6/94:
Hey! This isn't the STICK!? Gotta GET the STICK!
Observation Log 11/6/94:
When I find the damn stick, I'm going to beat my master with it for
making me look so long.
Observation Log 11/7/94:
Stick nothing, got to find the kite. Or maybe the Frisbee
with the strange poetry....
Observation Log 11/13/94:
I can see the headlines now... "Dog Discovers New Comet-- Master:
'This Is Much Better Than Some Dumb Old Stick'"
Observation Log 11/14/94:
Beam me up, Scotty
Observation Log 11/20/94:
Fine night to kick some Red Baron tail and bite Lucy.
Observation Log 12/23/94:
Haven't found the stick YET!! .... Maybe Santa will bring me the stick, I've
got to be a good dog...
Observation Log 12/29/94:
Hey!! There's that bratty little TYKE!! Just LET ME AT HIM! LET ME
AT HIM!! I CAN'T BELIEVE they keep taking MY stick! *pant pant*
where is it?? where is it??
Observation Log 1/14/95:
Oh dear... a large drop of drool got on the lens while I was scratching
my ear. The universe is now a kibble scented blur, with a couple of
Milk-Bone comets floating about..
Observation Log 2/12/95:
How do you turn this darn thing on? I hope I figure it out soon
because I need to go piddle....
Observation Log 2/19/95:
Yow! look at that Lady Dane on the bridge! Damn! Drooled on the lens and
I can't clean it off.
Observation Log 3/1/95:
Use the Force, Luke. It is the only True Path to the Stick.
Observation Log 3/2/95:
--- Someone has scratched out this log entry ---
Observation Log 3/13/95:
It's a bird... it's a plane... it's... A STICK! A STICK!
No, wait, that's the Hubble Telescope.
Observation Log 4/10/95:
Checked at the lunar rover coordinates. Couldn't see the dog -
just some silly car!!
Observation Log 4/27/95:
Wine and cheese, 4th floor common room, Fridays, 4:30-6:00. Get a pat
on the head from the math grad students. Decent coffee. The picture
window offers a great view of Harvard.
Observation Log 5/1/95:
Well, AF Scuti has just passed 2 airmasses. I guess it's time to go find
the stick. Perhaps I can stop off at AAVSO headquarters on the way and
drop off my brightness estimation of 13.6 magnitudes for this fascinating
RR Lyrae variable star.
Observation Log 5/8/95:
Where is the _____ stick! I am walking in circles and I can't
see it any where. When I do find it, I have to start all over again. I
better find this stick before my master gets really upset. I wish I
could have a biscuit right now :)
Observation Log 6/9/95:
sniff, sniff... Hey wait, this isn't just a telescope, it's a high
powered laser beam! And there's the brat that started it all!
Zzzzzzzzzzzzhhhhhhhhhhh! (insert sounds of kiddie flesh on fire here)
And there's some annoying MIT student in the viewscope, too!
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzhhhhhhhhhhh! Ha, ha, ha! (diabolical laughter)
Observation Log 6/25/95:
Italian female doggy doesn't seem luckier then U.S. dogs
in finding sticks over there. Anyway, it's a nice trip, though
there aren't so many bones as I would like. CdG
Observation Log 6/30/95:
After zapping 5 people I realize I'd fallen asleep and it was just a
dream - but LOOK!! THERE'S THE STICK!!
Observation Log 7/27/95:
Let's see now... Mars... Pluto... the Great Bear... the Mummy
Bear... the Baby Bear (whose porridge got eaten up by Goldilocks)...
Orion's belt... the FULL MOONOOOOOOOOOOAAAAWWWWWWWWMMMMMMM
oooooooOOOOAAAAAAAA..... werewolf hmmm?! let's eat the security
guard for starters!
Observation Log 8/8/95:
Yo Shep! Let your tongue hang out and remember:
Everyday is a Red Dog day!
Observation Log 8/27/95:
Hey! What's going on here? Is this some kind of joke? You'd
think a buncha dogs have been writing in my log book...
Observation Log 8/31/95:
Yes! I've found the Meaning of Stick!
Observation Log 10/20/95:
This telescope is great and everything, but I really gotta poop!
Hey, if I poop on the floor, maybe they blame it on the dog.
No.. wait.. I am the dog.
Observation Log 12/7/95:
*pant pant* When I catch that darned Dalmation I'm gonna knock his spots
off! *pant pant*
Observation Log 1/22/96:
Forget the damned log book! I'd rather lift my leg on the telescope! When
I get back to the park I'm going to lift my leg on that stupid kid, too.
Observation Log 1/25/96:
I've found something... something that should change the face of
history. Flipping the giant telescope towards quadrant 1526987743-A, and
activating the patented long-range audial sensors (by Menen?), I have
found a queer barking noise coming from that galaxy. This could be one
small step for man, one giant sit for canine-kind...
Observation Log 3/19/96:
I think therefore I am.
-Long Pause-
what, what am I.
I'm a stick. No not stick me not stick, me actually took 3 years
to get this damn telescope to work. (Its these damn paws you
know makes all sorts of manual manipulation difficult). So
don't call us stupid, dogs are well inteligent. (Even if we do
enjoy chasing sticks, and slobbering over our keepers).
-Glooop Glooop of dogs drool falling onto log
_____
/ \
| _| _____
\ /___ | _\
\ __ |_ \ |_ <-- Dogs Gloop
/ | |___| /____\
/_ \__
\____/
Observation Log 4/8/96:
He couldn't have asked me to beg, could he? Nooo, it had to be the
STICK. Boy, when I get my hands on that BRAT. And that uncultured mutt
of a dalmation. Grrr. I think I'll go yap at some cars to relieve some
of my tension. My shrink says it will work.
Observation Log 4/25/96:
Sniff. Sniff. I wonder if I can smell Uranus from here.
Observation Log 5/29/96:
stick not here. must find stick. beware the Bob.
Observation Log 6/1/96:
The stick is in the firehouse watch out for hellhound and I am going
MADMADMADMADMADMADMADMADMADMADMADMAD because that hellhound nicked my
stick.
Observation Log 6/2/96:
You see the allmighty stick on the moon but say who cares and you go get
a pepsi.
Observation Log 6/11/96:
Stick??? What stick??? I'm just here for the people food!!!
Observation Log 6/12/96:
Ummm. Pen good. Where stick.
Observation Log 7/4/96:
I see something...Um...it's a...HELLP! Aliens!!!!!!
Observation Log 7/11/96:
!$%#$^#%^$%^ That Hellhound!I'm Gonna Go Lift My Leg On
Him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Observation Log 7/11/96:
Note: Fishcam--strictly for cats. Hydrantcam desperately needed.
Will observe and quantify data on all visible hydrants during the
next week.
Observation Log 9/23/96:
Dogs of the world read my message we must work together to stop the
nefarious HELLHOUND who has taken the almighty STICK
WOOF...BARK...WGHLDBAAAAAAAHHHHH!
(as we last left the dog he was being hit by a beam of energy)
VJGDLKJHVSALAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!! ...So the bartender says hey that's not
a duck!!!...fvyugfsbisoUVGWHDJAHHHHHH!!!!!!!! ...Four Score and Seven
Years ago...XDSACFDHVAAHHHHH!!!!! ...we hold these truths to be self
evident that all men are created equal...DRCGFTUDCJTDAHHH!!!
...danger Will Robinson!!!...DFXSRICYGJAHHH!!! ...That's one small
step for man one giant leap for K9-kind!...JCFDCUJRSCUTDAHHH!!!
...Holy Twisted Metal Batman! What will we do
now?...FGY}SADTIYCJSKDAHHH!!! ...All Righty then!...zzzt!...Thank you
very much!...zzzt!...It's Mophing Time! AAAAHHHH!!! Huh? cool K9-Zord!
heh heh aye yae yae time to kick some Hellhound Ass! (so the dog
saved the almighty stick from the nefarious Hellhound and became a
world hero)
Observation Log 9/23/96:
[This logbook is starting to scare me. -editor]
Observation Log 11/23/96:
Funny looking cube out there. I better bark warning, or is that borg a
warning? Why do I feel that resistance I futile? I don't want to be
assimilated!
Maintenance Log 12/10/96:
Well the telescope seems to have a little bugs in it. I hope that
someone can fix it someday.]
_0__0_
|____|>
__________ /
| |/ <-----ME!!!!!!
|________|
/ \
/ \
Observation Log 12/25/96:
Alone, now; longing for companionship but there is none. Where is
stick? More importantly, WHAT is stick? Is this journey for a stick
deeply relevant to my own inner struggle to realize my own masculinity?
All creatures wander alone in the night: wonder why Alpha Centauri is
clearly visible to the naked eye but Wolf 359 is not. No doubt some
cosmic conspiracy. MUST - FIND - STICK! And, while I'm at it, a life.
Observation Log 12/26/96:
I have to find that stick!
|\
| \
____---- \
\ |
----\ |
| \
| -------------\
| \
\ | |
\ __| |
| /------------/ | \
| | | \ \
| | | \ \
| | | | \ \
--- | | | \_\
| | ---- |
----- | |
-------
Observation Log 1/2/97:
I WANT DA STICK
Observation Log 1/8/97:
I am the great dameolieo I need stickie for my masterolieo. Stick is
first in the fire station then its at the airport then I got lost,
then I ran into a clown who juggled me into the air. Then some doctor
called the vet tried to check me for rabies. I have got to see what
I'm going to run into on my journey so I...... Whoa forget the stick
I just saw a hot dog, know what I'm sayin. I'll just look in the
tellascope and see where she's goi.... I can't see, Oh yea I swollowed
the lens. <Gag> <Cou uugh> <Slop> Oh there it is, I
didn't know I could barf that easaly. :). There she is oh oh yeas she
just went on master and tore that tot's pants off. and
a... aaaaaaaaaaaaaaooooou she's with the fire dog. Wait wait she left
him. and and she's headed this way. See ya
Observation Log 3/13/97:
Ha! It is I, the evil dalmation hellhound, and I HAVE ALL OF YOUR
STICKS!!!! BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!!
Observation Log 4/2/97:
I doubt Master is still waiting in the park after I've been roaming about for
the last half hour. Some strange rodent bit me in the subway and I'm
begining to foam at the mouth (have I had my rabies shots???) I better turn
myself in to the local Humane Society.
Observation Log 5/31/97:
I have realized what The Stick and I have in common.....Our Bark!
Observation Log 7/31/97:
Look, over on the wall. In that third picture from the Mars Pathfinder!
It can't be... it is! *THE* *STICK*! Sitting right on top of the rock
the humans named 'Scoobie Doo'. Now how the heck did that kid's kite
get all the way up there?"
Observation Log 8/12/97:
I am dog, hear me roar, lalalalala! Although many of you humans believe
us to be...shall we say, a bit slow, we are reality much more highly
evolved than you hairless excuses for chimps. Our minds simply tend to
wander, that's all. Hey, a STICK!
Observation Log 8/19/97:
i spent my whole lunch hour looking for that damn stick and i still
haven't found it. that's what i get for doing a web search for
'weiner dog.'