Uh, 'scuse me, that's not to eat.Uh, 'scuse me, that's not to drink.Sorry.Sorry.Do not forget the double quotes!Hardly.Hardly.You can't lock that!You can't lock that!You can't lock anything with that.You can't lock that!You can't lock that!You can't lock anything with that.You can't open people.You can't open that!You can't open anything with that.You can't close people.You can't close that.You can't close anything with that.Certainly not.Certainly not.You can't use one of those $2s to push anything.If you'd like to know where you can put that ...If you'd like to know where you can put that ...You can't put anything in one of those $2s.No.How do you know exactly where the $2 is?No.What if the $2 turns around suddenly?You can't put that.Don't go putting things on $2s!No.Without the $2 noticing?You can't read that.On second thought, don't.On second thought, don't.On second thought, don't.No go, no throw.No go, no throw.I wouldn't if I were you. I'm not, but I wouldn't anyway. Neither would you, if you were me. You're not, but you won't.There's another turn down the drain.I wouldn't if I were you. I'm not, but I wouldn't anyway. Neither would you, if you were me. You're not, but you won't.Maniac! Fiend! Banana nut cake!Yeah, right.C'mon c'mon c'mon c'mon, touch me, babe!C'mon c'mon c'mon c'mon, touch me, babe!You can't use one of those $2s to touch anything.Look in the $o? You need a tune-up!Yo, disarm this!If it ain't broke, don't fix it.I won't! I won't!Oh right.The $2 doesn't wanna see that.Verbose mode is now on.Brief mode is now on. Location descriptions will only be shown the first time you visit.Gobble gobble, gulp!Uh, 'scuse me, that's not edible.Slurp! One $o down the hatch.Uh, 'scuse me, you can't drink that.This is one of those $os.Sorry.This is one of those $os.Sorry.In this game I am your eyes and your body. I will describe the surroundings for you. You tell me what you want to do. For example, if you want to go north, then type 'north'. But there are a lot of other things you may do, like picking up stuff, examining it, opening doors and so on. Try anything you would do if you really were standing here!$pRemember to study the descriptions very carefully: they are sure to contain clues! $p'score' may be used to see how well you are doing. 'save' and 'restore' allow you to save a game and restore it later. One thing you ought to know is that if you need to type a contraction, such as "can't," you have to leave out the apostrophe. 'Kay? $pTo address characters, type "talk to [the character]" or "say "[something]" to the character." $pGood Luck!! You'll need it!The $2 isn't listening.The $o isn't listening.You need a key!You can't lock that!I don't see what you want me to lock.It's already locked.You can't lock that!I don't see what you want me to lock.It's already locked.You need a key!You can't unlock that!I don't see what you want me to unlock.It's already unlocked.You can't unlock that!I don't see what you want me to unlock.It's already unlocked.Chickenshit.Okee-dokee.$nTime passes...Opened.You can't open that!It's already open.'Fraid it's locked.You just can't open the $1 with the $2.You don't have the $2.Shut.That can't be closed.It isn't open!You just can't close the $1 with the $2.You don't have the $2.No.No.Dropped.You haven't got that.Consider it put.You haven't got the $1!Now that would be a good trick!Naaah. I'd rather just put it down here.You haven't got the $1!You're carrying them both!There is nothing written on the $1.You got it.It's kinda fastened down.You've already got that.You got it.It's kinda fastened down.You've already got that.Dropped.You haven't got that.You can't throw it far; the $1 ends up on the ground.You haven't got that!The $1 bounces harmlessly off the $2 and ends up on the ground.You haven't got that!You're carrying them both!Consider it did.You haven't got that!Now that would be a good trick!Can't do it. Won't letcha.Can't do it. Won't letcha.You can't move anything in this game. Don't ask me why. OKAY?Nothing hidden anywhere. Do you believe me? Smart of you.Nothing hidden anywhere. Do you believe me? Smart of you.You can't move anything in this game. Don't ask me why. OKAY?Consider it did.Aw, turn yourself on, ya wanker!'Scuse me, it's already on.Consider it did.Aw, turn yourself off, ya babbler!'Scuse me, it's already off.Consider it did.Yo, disarm this!'Scuse me, it's already off.All by yourself? Surely you jest.Big Leslie Nielsen fan, are we?You're good!If it ain't broke, don't fix it.You can't fix anything with a $o!The note says$n"THE KID HAS A BOMB!$nPUT IT IN ALL THE BOXES$nAND CLOSE THEM (IN THE$nRIGHT ORDER)!"Hah?Hah?You haven't got both halves.You haven't got both halves.The $2 isn't watching.Ow! How would you like it if you were one of those $os and somebody did that to you?Ow! How would you like it if you were one of those $os and somebody did that to you?That's about as much as you can carry. Get rid of something.inventoryYou're carryingYou've got exactly zip.flag3televisionA cursory examination shows you that the tv needs to be fixed.Well, it appears to be fixed, but ...The screen flashes red, then purple, then blue, then yellow; then the tv dies. Permanently.Nothin'.Nothing will ever happen to this tv again, whatever you do to it.flag1The door is open.The door is closed.doorOkee-dokee.You wanna unlock it with a $2?Okee-dokee.You wanna lock it with a $2?flag2The door is open.The door is closed.doorOkee-dokee.You wanna unlock it with a $2?Okee-dokee.You wanna lock it with a $2?The left door is open.The left door is closed.left doorOkee-dokee.You wanna unlock it with a $2?Okee-dokee.You wanna lock it with a $2?The right door is open.The right door is closed.right doorOkee-dokee.You wanna unlock it with a $2?Okee-dokee.You wanna lock it with a $2?toy nuclear bombThe word "toy" should not be taken to imply that this is not an actual atomic device. It's tiny, but that's its only distinction.It'd be fun to play "which wire do I cut?" at this point, saving and restoring to your heart's content, but you can't see any wires, or any way to disarm the bomb.green boxThis is one of those green boxes.You tug and tug at the lid. It doesn't want to open at all.That's closed!gbox_closedtelevision repair kitblue boxThis is one of those blue boxes.You tug and tug at the lid. It doesn't want to open at all.That's closed!bbox_closedone half of a noteRead it, why don't you?It says$n"THE KID H$nPUT IT IN $nAND CL$nRIGHT O".red boxThis is one of those red boxes.You tug and tug at the lid. It doesn't want to open at all.That's closed!rbox_closedthe other half of a noteRead it, why don't you?It says$n"AS A BOMB!$nALL THE BOXES$nOSE THEM (IN THE$nRDER)!".$n$nYou can join one note to the other note if you've got them both.yellow boxThis is one of those yellow boxes.You tug and tug at the lid. It doesn't want to open at all.That's closed!ybox_closedkeypurple boxThis is one of those purple boxes.You tug and tug at the lid. It doesn't want to open at all.That's closed!pbox_closedcounterterrorist i.d. cardRead it, why don't you?"This certifies the bearer to intimidate terrorists or potential terrorists of any description."Green RoomYou're really supposed to be across the street, but somehow you've wandered, as clueless folks will, into this empty house. Perhaps you assumed there might be something worth doing here. Perhaps there is. Or not.$pThis room is a plastic-looking lime green. Doorways lead west and east, and from the south wall you can go left or right.This room is a plastic-looking lime green. Doorways lead west and east, and from the south wall you can go left or right.Red RoomThis room is a startling fire-engine red. Otherwise the layout is the mirror image of the Purple Room.This room is a startling fire-engine red. Doorways lead north, east and southeast.Blue RoomThis room is a rather pleasant sky blue. A doorway leads northeast.Front DoorThe front door leading back out to the street is to your south, or you could turn around and go left or right.Open the door!Unlock it!Purple RoomThis room is a sumptuous royal purple. Otherwise the layout is the mirror image of the Red Room.This room is a sumptuous royal purple. Doorways lead north, west and southwest.Yellow RoomThis room is a blaring banana yellow. A doorway leads northwest.Front DoorThe front door leading back out to the street is to your south, or you could turn around and go left or right.Open the door!Unlock it!The BlockThis is the block. That interesting house is behind you to the left and right, the street is to the south.Open the left door!Unlock it!Open the left door!Unlock it!Open the right door!Unlock it!Open the right door!Unlock it!The traffic's too heavy. I told you!In The StreetYou're in the street. Vehicles are stalled all around you, but it'll only be an instant before they get rolling again.The Other SideAbruptly, the traffic starts again and the shrieking trucker is ground under the wheels of justice, or happenstance, or ... ah well.$pAnd why did the adventurer cross the road? Restart to see the answer!$n$n$nNowhereMeThat's you, all right.Do you always pick the most boring person in the room to talk to?$nA dignitary is chauffeured by in a stretch limo. The four-year-old terrorist gropes beneath his coat, produces a toy nuclear bomb, and hurls it at the fancy car. The explosion takes out the block, the street, and you.$pFour-year-old TerroristThe four-year-old terrorist yelps in dismay and takes off down the street, letting a toy nuclear bomb drop on the sidewalk as he flees."Get away from me, creep!"$nA four-year-old terrorist leans against the building, tensely observing the traffic.$nAn obnoxious cabbie crawls by honking his horn and spewing four-letter words at the car ahead of him.$nA harassed yuppie family in an impossibly small European compact passes you.$nA lowrider full of some mean-lookin' dudes hisses past.$nFour eighteen-wheelers in a row follow one another up the street.$nA delivery van full of green boxes is stopping at all the houses on the street.Heavy TrafficHeavy traffic, like I said.$nHeavy traffic prevents you from crossing the street.$pAn angry trucker emerges from one of the impaired vehicles. Either he's identified you as the cause of his trouble, or he just needs someone to take it out on, because here he comes, heading right for you. Did I mention that this guy is HUGE?$pThe furious grunting trucker approaches!$pThe trucker catches up to you and reduces you to a quivering mass of agony.$pThe game is no longer afoot, it looks like.$pAngry TruckerAn angry trucker is menacing you!$nBefore you have a chance to do anything else, a sudden explosion takes out the block, the street, and you.$n$nAll those boxes must've muffled the bomb's force somehow. It goes off, but all it does is bring the traffic to a halt.Huh?I don't understand.I don't know what you mean by 'all'.I don't know what you mean by 'it'.I don't know what you mean by 'them'.You can't refer to multiple objects with '$v'.I can't guess what you want to $v.You must supply a noun.You must give an object after 'but'.You can only use 'but' after 'all'.That doesn't leave much to $v!I don't know which $1 you mean.I can't see any $1 here.You can't go that way.You can't do that.You can't $v the $1.There is nothing here that you can $v.There is$$, and here.is here.Thecontains, and $$.Theis empty.You have scoredpoints out ofI don't know that word.<More>(again)Enter file name to save inThat file already exists, overwrite (RETURN confirms) ? Sorry, save failed.Sorry, could not open that save file.Sorry, the save file was created by a different version.Sorry, the save file did not contain a save for this adventure.Enter file name to restore fromAre you sure (RETURN confirms) ? Do you want to RESTART, RESTORE or QUIT ? aTO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE$na text adventure by Bob Reeves$n(c) 1999 by Bob Reeves$n$n$n$n$n