Certainly not.Why do you want one of those?Sorry.Sorry.You're the one who needs help!On second thought, don't.On second thought, don't.On second thought, don't.C'mon c'mon c'mon c'mon, touch me, babe!Look in the $o? You need a tune-up!Search the $o? You need a tune-up!Oh right.The $2 doesn't wanna see that.Do not forget the double quotes!Hardly.Que?Que?You'll be waiting quite a while for a reply.Que?Que?Que?What, you expected some POINTS for this?$pYou blew the pitiful remnant of your funds last night.You don't have anything to trade."Now this is more like it!" the ticket hustler tells you, delighted. You and he haggle interminably while the deaf lady stands by, oblivious to the topic of conversation. Finally the ticket hustler takes her by the arm, and before leading her into the deep inner recesses of his stall, hands you your ticket home.$p$p$pSitting by the fire in days to come, you know you will often roam fondly in your memory over the treasured moments you spent in that enchanted land so far away ... and yet, so near.$pWhat, you expected some POINTS for this?$pThe $o isn't yours to trade.Why do you want one of those?Verbose mode is now on.Brief mode is now on. Location descriptions will only be shown the first time you visit.This is one of those $os.Sorry.This is one of those $os.Sorry.You can ask people about things. You can guide people to a thing or a person. How's that? (I'd like to be more helpful, but frankly, your participation in this game is distasteful to a decent program like myself.)The ticket hustler helps them who help themselves.Chickenshit.Okee-dokee.$nTime passes...You got it.It's kinda fastened down.You've already got that.You got it.It's kinda fastened down.You've already got that.Dropped.You haven't got that.It feels like one of those $os.Can't do it. Won't letcha.Nothing hidden anywhere. Do you believe me? Smart of you.Nothing hidden anywhere. Do you believe me? Smart of you.The $2 isn't watching.The $2 isn't listening.Rotting in a third-world prison isn't precisely your idea of a fun-filled vacation.The $1 could care less about that and so could I.Hey look, that's no way to behave in an exotic land!That's about as much as you can carry. Get rid of something.inventoryYou're carryingYou've got exactly zip.ticketcaneIt's white.The blind man instinctively guesses your intention and yanks it away, yelling "Leave me alone, willya? I'm blind!"wheelchairIt's an antique, mangled-looking contraption, but it looks like the wheels roll.Rotting in a third-world prison isn't precisely your idea of a fun-filled vacation.The cripple instinctively guesses your intention and steers it out of your reach, yelling "Leave me alone, willya? I'm a cripple!"cornerThere's quite a bit of dense traffic here, where a steep hill plunges down to a cross street below.The Blackest Of Black Markets In The Third (Or Indeed Any Other) WorldThat about says it all. You're waiting in front of a ramshackle stall, behind which lounges one of those ticket hustlers who prey on careless vacationers not dissimilar to yourself. A streetcorner is west of here.The Corner Of The StreetDense traffic flows around the market corner. There's a constant din of horns: honking your horn all the time and driving as fast as humanly possible seem to be traffic laws here. The ticket hustler's stall is to the east.NowhereMeThat's you, all right.Do you always pick the most boring person in the room to talk to?The Ticket HustlerHe's a particularly underfed-looking specimen with a native craftiness in his small and shifty eyes. He sizes you up as if measuring you for butcher's block cuts."An American car would be a fine exchange, but if you had a car you wouldn't require a bus ticket ... hm ... You could hire yourself to me as a slave, but you're anxious to leave the country and I probably wouldn't get much work outta you ... hm ... Well, bring me someone else I can enslave, the ticket's yours."The ticket hustler scratches himself and stares into the distance. You'd have thought his dignity couldn't very well be slighted, seeing he doesn't have much, but you were wrong, wrong, wrong.$pThe blind man yells "Guide my hand to my cane! I'm blind!"Blind ManHe's blind."You wanna help me across the street? Then go right ahead! I'm blind!"$pThe blind man hears what you and the ticket hustler are up to and yanks his arm away with a snarl.$pYou place the blind man's hand on the back of the wheelchair. He assumes it's his cane and leans his weight on it. The wheelchair tips backward and the cripple flies out of it in a high arc, lands momentarily in a gap in the traffic, and begins rolling down the hill, top-speed. The blind man totters off, pleased to have found his "cane."$pYou hear a crash.$pA woman comes running up the hill, signing to you for help. She must've been driving the car that hit the cripple."You wanna help me across the street? Then go right ahead! I'm blind!"The blind man hears what you and the ticket hustler are up to and yanks his arm away with a snarl."Leave me alone, willya? I'm blind!""Leave me alone, willya? I'm blind!""Leave me alone, willya? I'm blind!"$nA blind man with a cane stands here, perhaps waiting to cross the street.$pA blind man missing his white cane stands here.CrippleHe's a cripple.The cripple is already at the corner.The cripple hears what you and the ticket hustler are up to and yanks his arm away with a snarl."Leave me alone, willya? I'm a cripple!""Leave me alone, willya? I'm a cripple!""Leave me alone, willya? I'm a cripple!"$nA cripple sits in a wheelchair here.$pHere comes a spaz, keeling and lurching disastrously along.$pThe spaz brushes the man in the wheelchair and almost sends him off the curb, but he grabs the brake in time, and hurls what you can only guess is a stream of abuse at the spaz.$pThe spaz reels off into the traffic without even looking, and wouldn't you know it? safely reaches the opposite corner. Then he is gone.$pThe spaz obligingly lurches toward the blind man and, before shambling off into traffic, knocks the cane out of his hand. The cane is immediately crushed beneath oncoming wheels.SpazThe spaz drools all over you pleasantly.The spaz drools all over you pleasantly.The spaz drools all over you pleasantly.The spaz drools all over you pleasantly.$nA spaz is perilously wobbling by.Deaf LadyShe can't hear anything you say.She can't hear anything you say, and you don't know sign language.She can't hear anything you say, and you don't know sign language."Now this is more like it!" the ticket hustler tells you, delighted. You and he haggle interminably while the deaf lady stands by, oblivious to the topic of conversation. Finally the ticket hustler takes her by the arm, and before leading her into the deep inner recesses of his stall, hands you your ticket home.$p$p$pSitting by the fire in days to come, you know you will often roam fondly in your memory over the treasured moments you spent in that enchanted land so far away ... and yet, so near.$pWhat, you expected some POINTS for this?$pYou'd better do something more pertinent to her plight, and yours.The two of you rush down the hill, narrowly evading the horn-honking monsters, and help the cripple up, or as up as he ever gets. He's used to being dropped, bounced around and smacked by moving objects, so nothing is broken. Thank the Good Lord.$pIt's no use. There's only one way to get that ticket. You've just been putting off the inevitable. You steel yourself for an interlude of slave labor or worse, and can only pray the interlude will last something short of a lifetime.$pI guess you just weren't ready to take things to their logical conclusion.$pWhat, you expected some POINTS for this?$pA deaf lady waits here, looking perturbed and signing for help.$pIt's no use. There's only one way to get that ticket. You've just been putting off the inevitable. You steel yourself for an interlude of slave labor or worse, and can only pray the interlude will last something short of a lifetime.$pWhat, you expected some POINTS for this?$pHuh?I don't understand.I don't know what you mean by 'all'.I don't know what you mean by 'it'.I don't know what you mean by 'them'.You can't refer to multiple objects with '$v'.I can't guess what you want to $v.You must supply a noun.You must give an object after 'but'.You can only use 'but' after 'all'.That doesn't leave much to $v!I don't know which $1 you mean.I can't see any $1 here.You'd rather not leave the vicinity of this corner market till you've solved your ticket problem ... as distasteful as all the people around here are.I wouldn't if I were you. I'm not, but I wouldn't anyway. Neither would you, if you were me. You're not, but you won't.You can't $v the $1.There is nothing here that you can $v.There is$$, and here.is here.Thecontains, and $$.Theis empty.You have scoredpoints out ofI don't know that word.Enter file name to save inThat file already exists, overwrite (RETURN confirms) ? Sorry, save failed.Sorry, could not open that save file.Sorry, the save file was created by a different version.Sorry, the save file did not contain a save for this adventure.Enter file name to restore fromAre you sure (RETURN confirms) ? Do you want to RESTART, RESTORE or QUIT ? aWARNING: Don't even start if you don't appreciate twisted humor at helpless people's expense. You WILL be offended. That being said, scroll down to begin.$p$p$p$p$p$p$p$p$p$p$p$p$p$p$p$p$p$p$pIt's been quite a weekend. You tried to retain the names of quite a few of those cantinas, not to mention quite a few of those whores, but their memory has dissipated into the same mist that swallowed the last of your American cash and that return bus ticket back across the border you were taking such care to hang onto. Now you've washed up in this seedy marketplace and wandered the lost, hungover dawn hours away till the stall with the BUS TICKETS - CHEAP sign opened up.$p$pTHE MEAN STORY$n(c) 1999 by Bob Reeves$nfrom a concept by George Seidenberg and Lee Wilson$p$p