REM ---- The CERCLA Adventure *.DAT file STARTING_ROOM 19 RESURRECTION ROOM 19 MAXIMUM_SCORE 410 REM -- MAXIMUM ROOMS 171 REM -- MAXIMUM NOUNS 299 REM -- MAXIMUM CREATURES 302 REM -- LAST META-COMMAND 164 REM -- ITEMS BEING CARRIED 0 REM -- ITEMS BEING WORN 0 VERB EAT CONSUME SWALLOW PUSH KICK STRIKE HIT KNOCK SHOW DISPLAY RAISE DROP OFFER GIVE DUMMY_VERB1 KISS HUG CARESS SQUEEZE DUMMY_VERB2 GIVE DUMMY_VERB3 OFFER DUMMY_VERB4 STEAL DUMMY_VERB5 HANG END_VERB INTRODUCTION CERCLA - FANCIFUL FUN WITH SUPERFUND You are an employee of a world renowned and extremely profitable consulting engineering firm. Recently, you completed the remedial investigation of the McArdle hazardous waste site. Following a wonderful vacation in the Caribbean, you have returned to work to find that disaster has struck. All the copies of the documents critical to the remediation of the site have vanished. Even the computer files containing the documents have been wiped clean. What is worse is that your boss has a meeting with (GASP) the U.S. EPA in a matter of days. You must recover the documents before that meeting, or regulatory hell will break loose. Unfortunately for you, some, well, shall we say, supernatural beings have made off with the documents for their own mystical, nefarious purposes. It is your quest to outwit these creatures and recover the documents. Be careful, but be quick. Time's a-wastin'! This game is shareware. If you are so inclined, please distribute it far and wide, over hill and dale, through marsh and meadow, and so on. If inspired to do so (or to alleviate any guilt you may have over getting something free), you are perfectly welcome to send me some money, say about $5.00. Just to cover the cost of pizzas, er, ah, software development, that is. In any event, I hope you get some fun out of this, it sure was fun to write it! Charitable contributions may be sent to: Jeffrey P. Robinson Paladin Associates, Inc. P.O. Box 157 Fayetteville, NY 13066 END_INTRODUCTION REM LISTING ROOMS AND ITEMS AND CREATURES IN THEM ROOM 2 ; Parking Lot Parking Lot NORTH 3 ; Reception Area SOUTH 90 ; U.S. Environmental Protection EAST 36 ; Staging area WEST 80 ; Park NORTHWEST 79 ; McGillicudy's Pub SOUTHEAST 61 ; Garage END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 2 ; Parking Lot You are standing in the parking lot of Vigilant Engineers, Inc. The lot is filled with various and sundry expensive motor vehicles, most of them Swedish or Japanese. Scattered here and there are boat trailers. To the north is the office building, which looks a great deal like an electric razor. Just peeping around the back of the building, you seen an expanse of water. This is the corporate trout pond/wetland. In front of the lot is a large, stone sign with bold black letters spelling the name of the firm. Also inscribed on the sign is the motto of the company, E pluribus lucrum (money out of many). Your car is not here. There is some broken glass in the parking space where you left it. It looks to have been stolen, and that means you'll have to walk. Too bad, but it is good for you, unless of course, you subscribe to the limited heartbeat theory. END_ROOM_DESCR HELP 2 ; Parking Lot Reading the piece of paper would be enlightening. END_HELP_DESCR NOUN 200 ; WRINKLED PAPER PAPER WRINKLED There is a wrinkled piece of paper on the ground at your feet. LOCATION 2 ; Parking Lot READABLE END_NOUN NOUN_DESCR 200 ; WRINKLED PAPER This is a single, wrinkled piece of paper. It appears to be a set of directions. END_NOUN_DESCR TEXT 200 ; WRINKLED PAPER There are many directions in which to travel from this point, but some are not allowed. You may go south to regulatory heaven, east to waste, north to work, west to relax, southeast to sleep, or northwest to drink. All other directions are forbidden by state and federal regulations. END_TEXT ROOM 3 ; Reception Area Reception Area NORTH 17 ; Hallway SOUTH 2 ; Parking Lot END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 3 ; Reception Area You are standing in the reception area of Vigilant Engineers, Inc. There is a 250 gallon fish tank filled with numerous brilliantly colored fish on the east wall. Straight ahead of you is the receptionist, a strikingly attractive individual with an unusual phone voice. On the north side of the rear wall is a hallway. Beside you is the waiting area. Several large, comfortable looking chairs are carefully arranged around an expensive oriental rug. A dark cherry table stands upon the rug. END_ROOM_DESCR NOUN 201 ; THIN BOOK BOOK THIN There is a thin book on the cherry table. LOCATION 3 ; Reception Area SIZE 3 READABLE END_NOUN NOUN_DESCR 201 ; THIN BOOK This is a thin book entitled "Faeries-Fact or Fancy? A Natural History." A number of pages have been ripped out, and the book feels like skin and bones, not robust and full of pages. The preface is all that remains. END_NOUN_DESCR TEXT 201 ; THIN BOOK Preface When I first conceived of the idea for this book, my agent said I was crazy, and perhaps I am, but here it is nonetheless. Perhaps you will find the contents amusing and perhaps helpful. Who knows? The world used to be full of mysteries, and folk believed that fanciful creatures walked the earth. Some of these are described herein. Do any yet exist out there, or has the modern age's rationality caused them to evaporate like mist in the hot sun? If they are as powerful as the legends suggest, I believe such beings as leprechauns, redcaps, white ladies, etc. may yet live around the corner, over the hill, or within the deep places of the earth. What do you think? END_TEXT ROOM 4 ; Photocopy Room Photocopy Room EAST 17 ; Hallway END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 4 ; Photocopy Room This is the photocopy room. The photocopier lies humming in front of you. To your left is a stack of cardboard boxes containing photocopy paper. To the east is the door to the hallway. END_ROOM_DESCR HELP 4 ; Photocopy Room You should definitely read the blue paper in the copier. END_HELP_DESCR NOUN 202 ; BLUE PAPER PAPER BLUE There is a piece of blue paper in the copier. LOCATION 4 ; Photocopy Room READABLE END_NOUN NOUN_DESCR 202 ; BLUE PAPER This appears to be an advertisement of some kind. The paper is covered with bold lettering that demands your attention. END_NOUN_DESCR TEXT 202 ; BLUE PAPER PALADIN ASSOCIATES, INC. Environmental Consultants in Chemistry and Toxicology OFFERING EXPERT SERVICES IN: HEALTH RISK ASSESSMENT DATA VALIDATION ECOLOGICAL RISK ASSESSMENT We have the firepower to solve your most pressing environmental problems. Don't waste time and money! Call Paladin TODAY!!! P.O. Box 157 Fayetteville, NY 13066 (315) 637-4928 END_TEXT ROOM 5 ; Library Library EAST 16 ; Hallway END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 5 ; Library You are standing in the corporate library. Innumerable books line the long walls of the room. A tall, wide cabinet stands off to the right, at the back of the room. It has many drawers that contain a wide variety of topographical maps. A tall file cabinet stands beside it. The L-M drawer stands open. There is an assortment of journals lying here and there. To the east lies the hallway from which you came. END_ROOM_DESCR HELP 5 ; Library Read the paper in the hanging file. END_HELP_DESCR NOUN 203 ; SKINNY BOOK BOOK SKINNY There is a book here. LOCATION 5 ; Library POINTS 5 SIZE 2 READABLE END_NOUN NOUN_DESCR 203 ; SKINNY BOOK This is a large, thin book. It is very light in weight. END_NOUN_DESCR TEXT 203 ; SKINNY BOOK This book is entitled "Art by Quayle." You open it to find that it is filled with paint by number and connect the dot pictures. END_TEXT NOUN 204 ; GREEN FOLDER FOLDER GREEN There is a single, green file folder lying at your feet. LOCATION 5 ; Library READABLE END_NOUN NOUN_DESCR 204 ; GREEN FOLDER This is a hanging file marked McArdle. It contains a single sheet of paper on which is written the following list. Quality assurance project plan (QAPP) Health and safety plan (HASP) Work plan (WP) Remedial Investigation (RI) report None of these documents are present. END_NOUN_DESCR ROOM 6 ; Men's Room Men's Room EAST 15 ; Hallway END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 6 ; Men's Room This room has the aromatic odor of disinfectants. It is currently unoccupied. As you stand in the quiet rush of the fan that maintains the freshness of the air, you are overcome with a need to use the room's facilities. Once in the stall, you notice some fresh graffiti written on the stall door in bold, black letters. You read the following verse. Up the airy mountain, Down the rushy glen, We daren't go a-hunting For fear of little men; Wee folk, good folk, Trooping all together; Green jacket, red cap, And white owl's feather! William Allingham END_ROOM_DESCR HELP 6 ; Men's Room You need help in here? How old are you, anyway? END_HELP_DESCR ROOM 7 ; Conference Room Conference Room SOUTH 15 ; Hallway END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 7 ; Conference Room You are standing in the corporate conference room. Before you lies a large conference table. It is oval in shape, and appears to be made of cherry. It looks expensive. As you stand there, gazing at the table, you notice that a phone system has been built into the table at its head. There is a button on top of the table at that point. Your curiosity overcomes you, and you push the button. With a gentle whirring sound, a phone rises to the surface of the table on a tiny elevator. A door leads to the south back into the hallway. END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 8 ; Ladies Room Ladies Room SOUTH 14 ; Hallway END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 8 ; Ladies Room This room has the aromatic odor of disinfectants. It is currently unoccupied. As you stand in the quiet rush of the fan that maintains the freshness of the air, you are overcome with a need to use the room's facilities. Once in the stall, you notice some fresh graffiti written on the stall door in bold, black letters. You read the following verse. Up the airy mountain, Down the rushy glen, We daren't go a-hunting For fear of little men; Wee folk, good folk, Trooping all together; Green jacket, red cap, And white owl's feather! William Allingham END_ROOM_DESCR HELP 8 ; Ladies Room You need help in here? How old are you, anyway? END_HELP_DESCR ROOM 9 ; Mail Room Mail Room SOUTH 13 ; Hallway END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 9 ; Mail Room The mail room is very quiet, in fact, it is morgue-like. The one employee who is present is asleep in front of the cubbyholes into which the mail is placed. Your own box is here. The hallway is located to south. END_ROOM_DESCR HELP 9 ; Mail Room The blue letter might be amusing. END_HELP_DESCR NOUN 205 ; BLUE LETTER LETTER BLUE There is a blue letter in your mail box. LOCATION 9 ; Mail Room READABLE END_NOUN NOUN_DESCR 205 ; BLUE LETTER This is an advertisement on cardstock. It feels rough to your fingers. END_NOUN_DESCR TEXT 205 ; BLUE LETTER ACT NOW!!! Today's hottest remediation technique for contaminated soil is electrolysis. Yes, that's right, the same approach that has been used for years as a depilatory, can also completely, that's right, COMPLETELY!, eliminate volatile and semi-volatile organics, polychlorinated biphenyls, metals, and even DIOXIN from even the most heavily contaminated soils. SEND NOW!!! For your free information packet describing this miraculous technique. Every day you delay, your profits are leaching away! IF you reply within four days, you will also receive ABSOLUTELY FREE!!! vital information about decontaminating water and soil using benzoyl peroxide. That's right! Benzoyl peroxide! WRITE or CALL NOW! TO: Waste Cosmetics P.O. Box 15030 Skamm, MN 1-800-SOSUEUS END_TEXT ROOM 10 ; Stairs Stairs SOUTH 12 ; Hallway UP 25 ; Stairs DOWN 33 ; Stairs END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 10 ; Stairs You are standing in the stairwell. There is a door to the south. Stairs extend up and down from your current position. You hear the sound of echoing footsteps above you. END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 11 ; Laboratory Laboratory NORTH 12 ; Hallway END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 11 ; Laboratory This is the corporate analytical laboratory. It is a bustling place, full of white-coated clad technicians hurrying to and fro carrying sample vials. You smell the sharp tang of acetic acid in the air. There are two laboratory managers seated at metal desks in the midst of the chaos. One is an organic chemist, the other is a specialist in inorganic chemistry. As you watch, the organic lab manager is reaming out a technician for failing to extract an aqueous semi-volatile sample within the appropriate holding time of seven days. The inorganic lab manager is on the telephone with PALADIN ASSOCIATES, INC., a noted purveyor of EXPERT DATA VALIDATION SERVICES. To the north is the door to the hallway. END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 12 ; Hallway Hallway NORTH 10 ; Stairs SOUTH 11 ; Laboratory WEST 13 ; Hallway END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 12 ; Hallway You are standing in a carpeted hallway. Directly to the south is a door marked "Vigilant Laboratories, Inc." There is a stairway to the north. The hallway stretches away from you to the west. END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 13 ; Hallway Hallway NORTH 9 ; Mail Room EAST 12 ; Hallway WEST 14 ; Hallway END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 13 ; Hallway You are standing in a carpeted hallway. There is a fancy, gold-plated water fountain here. Directly to the north is a door marked "Mail Room." The hallway stretches away from you to the east and west. END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 14 ; Hallway Hallway NORTH 8 ; Ladies Room EAST 13 ; Hallway WEST 15 ; Hallway END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 14 ; Hallway You are standing in a carpeted hallway. Directly to the north is a door marked "Women." The hallway stretches away from you to the east and west. END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 15 ; Hallway Hallway NORTH 7 ; Conference Room SOUTH 16 ; Hallway EAST 14 ; Hallway WEST 6 ; Men's Room END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 15 ; Hallway You are standing in a carpeted hallway. Directly to the north is a door marked "Conference Room." To the west is a door marked "Men." The hallway stretches away from you to the east and south. END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 16 ; Hallway Hallway NORTH 15 ; Hallway SOUTH 17 ; Hallway WEST 5 ; Library END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 16 ; Hallway You are standing in a carpeted hallway. Directly to the west is a door marked "Library." The hallway stretches away from you to the north and south. END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 17 ; Hallway Hallway NORTH 16 ; Hallway SOUTH 3 ; Reception Area WEST 4 ; Photocopy Room END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 17 ; Hallway You are standing in a carpeted hallway. Directly to the west is a door marked "Photocopy Room." To the south is the reception area. The hallway stretches away from you to the north. END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 18 ; Office Office EAST 32 ; Hallway END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 18 ; Office This is the office of one of your co-workers. There is a miniature flag pole complete with an American flag. Next to the tiny pole is an equally tiny fan, which is blowing the flag so that it flaps majestically in the breeze. On the wall are pictures of Reagan, Bush, and Quayle. Quayle's size 11 baby shoes are also here. They have been bronzed. Your colleague is obviously a Republican. There is nothing else remarkable about the room or its contents. END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 19 ; Player's Office Player's Office EAST 31 ; Hallway END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 19 ; Player's Office You are standing in your office on your first day back at work following a fantastic cruise to the eastern Caribbean. You are rested and full of energy, but not entirely refocussed on your job. Half of your mind is still wandering the hot, white beaches of the Virgin Islands. As usual, your desk is a mess, with papers, reports, and books scattered to and fro. There is a HIGH QUALITY RISK ASSESSMENT on your desk from your favorite sub-contractor, PALADIN ASSOCIATES, INC. There is a door to the east. END_ROOM_DESCR HELP 19 ; Player's Office Read the memo. END_HELP_DESCR NOUN 206 ; THIN PAPER PAPER THIN There is a sheet of paper pinned to your cork board. LOCATION 19 ; Player's Office READABLE END_NOUN NOUN_DESCR 206 ; THIN PAPER This is a single piece of paper. It is an old photocopy, brown and rumpled with age and frayed at the edges. END_NOUN_DESCR TEXT 206 ; THIN PAPER THE CREATION In the beginning was THE PLAN, then came the assumptions. And the assumptions were without form. And THE PLAN was completely without substance. And darkness was upon the faces of the workers, And the spake unto their colleagues, saying; "It is a crock of shit, and it stinketh." And their representatives went unto their group heads and sayeth; "It is a pail of dung, and none may abide the smell thereof." And the group heads went unto the division managers and sayeth unto them; "It is a container of excrement, and it is very strong, such that none may abide by it." And the division managers went to the vice presidents and sayeth unto them; "It is a vessel of fertilizer, and none may abide by its strength." And the vice presidents went to the senior vice president, and sayeth unto him; "It contains that which aids plant growth, and it is very strong." And the senior vice president went unto the president, and sayeth unto her; "It promoteth growth, and it is very powerful." And the president went unto the directors, and sayeth unto them; "This powerful new plan will actively promote the growth and efficiency of the company." And the directors looked upon THE PLAN and saw that it was good. And the plan became policy. END_TEXT NOUN 207 ; THIN MEMO MEMO THIN There is a memorandum in your IN box. LOCATION 19 ; Player's Office READABLE END_NOUN NOUN_DESCR 207 ; THIN MEMO You are holding a Vigilant Engineers, Inc. memorandum. It is from your boss, and it is marked urgent. END_NOUN_DESCR TEXT 207 ; THIN MEMO While you were on vacation, all the documents you prepared over the last year and a half have vanished. No one knows where they went, just that it is obvious that the building was burgled, and they were taken. You must find them, and find them quickly, for I'll need them when I go the U.S. EPA branch office for a meeting in two days. Get going, and find those documents! Appended to the memo is the following letter. UNITED STATES ENVIRONMENTAL PROTECTION AGENCY May 19, 1993 Re: McArdle NPL Boss, P.E. Vigilant Engineers, Inc. 5901 Borehole Way Stringfellow, NY 13206 Dear Sir Boss, You are hereby required to be present at a meeting to discuss the remedial investigation/feasibility study to be conducted at the McArdle NPL site. The meeting is scheduled for May 25, 1993 at the regional U.S. EPA office. Attendance is required, mandatory, and essential. Also required, mandatory, and essential is for you to bring with you copies of the Quality assurance project plan (QAPP), Health and safety plan (HASP), Work plan (WP), and Remedial Investigation (RI) report. Our copies have mysteriously disappeared, and we must borrow yours to make photocopies. Sincerely, John S. Price, Ph.D., D.A.B.T., O.B.E., S.J., D.D. Project Manager END_TEXT NOUN 261 ; GREEN KNAPSACK KNAPSACK GREEN There is a green knapsack hanging from your chair. It looks useful. LOCATION 19 ; Player's Office SIZE 99 WEARABLE OPEN END_NOUN ROOM 20 ; Office Office EAST 30 ; Hallway END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 20 ; Office This is the office of one of your co-workers. He is obviously a Redskins fan. There is a Redskins helmet pencil sharpener, a Redskins telephone, and a Redskins desk blotter. On the wall is a group photograph of the 1992 Super Bowl Championship team, which has been signed by the water boy. His pencil holder is filled with Redskins pencils, and his computer case is non-industry standard burgundy and gold. This man is hated by most of his co-workers, and is due to die an untimely death in a hazardous waste site test pit `accident.' There is nothing else remarkable in this office. END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 21 ; Men's Room Men's Room EAST 29 ; Hallway END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 21 ; Men's Room This room has the aromatic odor of disinfectants. All but one of the stalls is occupied. Your hands feel gritty, so you wash them. As you do so, you cannot help but overhear two individuals in the stalls conversing. It appears that one is bragging to the other about how he minimized the level of PCB- contaminated dust detected at a hazardous waste site by conducting the air monitoring study during a driving rainstorm. As you leave the restroom, the two men are chuckling about this cleverness. END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 22 ; Boss's Office Boss's Office SOUTH 29 ; Hallway END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 22 ; Boss's Office You are standing in your boss's office. He is away at the moment at his weekly tryst with his administrative assistant, an attractive, but mentally vacant, blonde. The office is huge, and contains a very expensive desk, with absolutely nothing upon it except a telephone and a desk blotter. The blotter looks unused. END_ROOM_DESCR HELP 22 ; Boss's Office The telephone looks interesting, and the booklet is downright vital to your prospects for success in this game. END_HELP_DESCR NOUN 208 ; THIN BOOKLET BOOKLET THIN There is a thin booklet peeking out from under the blotter. LOCATION 22 ; Boss's Office POINTS 10 READABLE NOUN_SYNONYMS BOOKLET BOOK END_NOUN NOUN_DESCR 208 ; THIN BOOKLET The booklet appears to be a portion of a book of some kind. There are about 10 pages. The edges are torn and frayed. END_NOUN_DESCR TEXT 208 ; THIN BOOKLET are generally cave dwellers. Dwarves are characterized by an avid love of gold. They will do almost anything for a handful of golden coins, or any sort of golden object. They generally carry large hammers with which they mine for the precious element. Also, be forewarned that dwarves DO NOT have much of a sense of humor. They do not like being tricked in any way shape or form. Redcaps are found in castles or stone towers. They can be defeated only by casting upon them the shadow of a silver cross. The difficulty in accomplishing this procedure can be deduced by the deep red color of their caps. The dye that the redcaps use is the blood of humans they have killed. They are immensely strong and are possessed of great endurance. Torreds are small, mischievous faeries who like nothing better than to play practical jokes on unsuspecting humans. These beings have lived in close proximity to humans for many years, and thus are hard to thwart. Items like four leaf clovers or cold iron that repel many other faeries have no effect on these urbanized sprites. The only objects that will persuade Torreds to render assistance are steel knives. Trolls are creatures of the earth. Instead of bone and sinew, they are formed from rock and earth. Sunlight is deadly to them, and upon exposure to it, they turn completely to stone, forever. Trolls are physically the most powerful faeries, and so simply cannot be overcome by strength. Fortunately, trolls are not known for their high intelligence, a fact which can permit a clever adventurer to outwit them, and find their stash of gold, which is carried by them, or hidden nearby the place the troll has selected for its home. Amadan-na-Briona, "The Fool," is the most terrifying of all the inhabitants of Elfland. Enormously powerful in magic and sorcery, to meet the Fool unprepared means certain death, or worse. There is no way to defeat the Fool; all that one can expect to do is hold him off until you can get away. There is a rumor of a potent rhyme that can hold the Fool at bay, but what it is or where it can be found are not known to me. Also vital in dealing with the Fool, is to carry a piece of the true cross. This will prevent the Fool from simply carrying one off, never to be seen again. Finally, it is said that the Fool can be forced into submission by throwing holy water at him. END_TEXT ROOM 23 ; Ladies Room Ladies Room SOUTH 28 ; Hallway END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 23 ; Ladies Room This room has the aromatic odor of disinfectants. All but one of the stalls is occupied. Your hands feel gritty, so you wash them. As you do so, you cannot help but overhear two individuals in the stalls conversing. It appears that one is bragging to the other about how she minimized the level of PCB- contaminated dust at a hazardous waste by conducting the air monitoring study during a driving rainstorm. As you leave the restroom, the two women are chuckling about this cleverness. END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 24 ; Storeroom Storeroom SOUTH 27 ; Hallway END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 24 ; Storeroom This is the storeroom of Vigilant Engineers, Inc. The room is lined with metal shelves that are filled with a variety of technical gear. You see respirators of all types. There are countless sample bottles, with Teflon-lined caps. Electronic gear abounds. You see HNu's by the score, and several portable gas chromatographs. One section of shelves contains nothing but coolers for the storage of samples. END_ROOM_DESCR HELP 24 ; Storeroom The flashlight may save you from an early grave. The sign contains some vital information. END_HELP_DESCR NOUN 209 ; LARGE FLASHLIGHT FLASHLIGHT LARGE There is a large flashlight here. LOCATION 24 ; Storeroom POINTS 5 IS_LIGHT NOUN_SYNONYMS FLASHLIGHT LANTERN END_NOUN NOUN_DESCR 209 ; LARGE FLASHLIGHT This is a large heavy flashlight. It is obviously meant for use in dark places. Perhaps you should pick one up, you never know! END_NOUN_DESCR NOUN 210 ; PAPER SIGN SIGN PAPER There is a paper sign taped to the wall. LOCATION 24 ; Storeroom READABLE END_NOUN TEXT 210 ; PAPER SIGN To reach the FOOL, you need the WORD. The WORD that opens the way to CERCLA! The letters of the WORD are in the missing documents. END_TEXT ROOM 25 ; Stairs Stairs SOUTH 26 ; Hallway DOWN 10 ; Stairs END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 25 ; Stairs You are standing in the stairwell. The hallway lies to the south. Stairs extend down from your current position. You hear voices from below that are suddenly cut off as the stairwell door slams. There is a door to the south. END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 26 ; Hallway Hallway NORTH 25 ; Stairs WEST 27 ; Hallway END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 26 ; Hallway You are standing in a carpeted hallway. There is a stairway to the north. The hallway stretches away from you to the west. END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 27 ; Hallway Hallway NORTH 24 ; Storeroom EAST 26 ; Hallway WEST 28 ; Hallway END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 27 ; Hallway You are standing in a carpeted hallway. There is a fancy, gold-plated water fountain here. To the north is a storeroom. The hallway stretches away from you to the west and east. END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 28 ; Hallway Hallway NORTH 23 ; Ladies Room EAST 27 ; Hallway WEST 29 ; Hallway END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 28 ; Hallway You are standing in a carpeted hallway. To the north is a door marked "Women." The hallway stretches away from you to the east and west. END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 29 ; Hallway Hallway NORTH 22 ; Boss's Office SOUTH 30 ; Hallway EAST 28 ; Hallway WEST 21 ; Men's Room END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 29 ; Hallway You are standing in a carpeted hallway. To the north is the office of your boss and to the west is a door marked `Men.' The hallway stretches away from you to the south and east. END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 30 ; Hallway Hallway NORTH 29 ; Hallway SOUTH 31 ; Hallway WEST 20 ; Office END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 30 ; Hallway You are standing in a carpeted hallway. To the west is an office. The hallway stretches away from you to the north and south. END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 31 ; Hallway Hallway NORTH 30 ; Hallway SOUTH 32 ; Hallway WEST 19 ; Player's Office END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 31 ; Hallway You are standing in a carpeted hallway. To the west is your office. The hallway stretches away from you to the north and south. There is an interesting looking sign on the wall. For some bizarre reason, it is written in ancient English. If you could read that language, the sign would inform you that stealing is frowned upon in this game. END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 32 ; Hallway Hallway NORTH 31 ; Hallway WEST 18 ; Office END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 32 ; Hallway You are standing in a carpeted hallway. To the west is an office. The hallway stretches away from to the north. END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 33 ; Stairs Stairs SOUTH 34 ; Lunch Room WEST 35 ; Garage UP 10 ; Stairs END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 33 ; Stairs You are standing in a drafty stairwell. The stairs extend upwards. From above, you hear the clattering of light footsteps. You look up to see a little man coming towards you. He is less than two feet tall, and you shake your head in disbelief. When you look again, he is gone, but a tinny voice echoes down to you, saying "Look for the Fool in CERCLA, and remember, always be prepared!" There are doors to the south and west. END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 34 ; Lunch Room Lunch Room NORTH 33 ; Stairs END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 34 ; Lunch Room This is the dining area of Vigilant Engineers, Inc. It is large room, with many haphazardly places tables and chairs. There are three small microwave ovens sitting on a counter on the west side of the room. On the east side of the room is a bulletin board with many notes pinned down with colored thumb tacks. Most of these are advertising this or that item for sale, or service available. There is a larger sheet partially covered in the middle of the board. You look closer and read the following. As I was going up the stair I met a man who wasn't there. He wasn't there again today. I wish, I wish he'd stay away. Hughes Mearns Straight ahead of you, on the far wall, are two average-sized refrigerator To the north is the door through which you entered the lunch room. END_ROOM_DESCR HELP 34 ; Lunch Room Get the cross! END_HELP_DESCR NOUN 211 ; SILVER CROSS CROSS SILVER There is a silver cross hanging by a chain here. LOCATION 34 ; Lunch Room POINTS 10 WEARABLE END_NOUN NOUN_DESCR 211 ; SILVER CROSS This is an intricately carved silver cross. It is of average size, and looks as though it would cast a nice, dark shadow. END_NOUN_DESCR ROOM 35 ; Garage Garage SOUTH 2 ; Parking Lot EAST 33 ; Stairs WEST 2 ; Parking Lot END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 35 ; Garage Immediately upon entering this room, you are struck in the nose by the choking smell of auto exhaust. There are many cars and trucks here. It is a large room, complete with echoes from the distance. To the east is the door through which you entered the garage. There is a large door to the west through which you can see the parking lot. END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 36 ; Staging area Staging area NORTH 44 ; Clean zone EAST 37 ; Abandoned McArdle farm WEST 2 ; Parking Lot END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 36 ; Staging area This is the staging area of the McArdle NPL site. It consists of a 700 yard square of dusty gravel that crunches under your aching feet. Directly to the east is an abandoned farm from which the site got its name. Back in the early 1900's, the farm was owned by one Sean Michael McArdle. Locally, the farm was famous for producing the area's best leeks. Raspberries and blackberries were also produced. The site is to the north. There are no vehicles here now. END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 37 ; Abandoned McArdle farm Abandoned McArdle farm NORTH 44 ; Clean zone EAST 38 ; Clearing WEST 36 ; Staging area END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 37 ; Abandoned McArdle farm You see a forlorn, dissipated structure. It is the McArdle farm house. The front porch is sagging and the front door is gone. Surprisingly, the roof is still present. Lining the front porch is a tangle of blackberry bushes. To the north lies the decontamination zone for the waste site. To the east is a sunlit area. END_ROOM_DESCR HELP 37 ; Abandoned McArdle farm Read the paper on the door. END_HELP_DESCR NOUN 212 ; SHINY PAPER PAPER SHINY There is a single piece of shiny paper glued to the door of the farmhouse. LOCATION 37 ; Abandoned McArdle farm UNMOVABLE READABLE END_NOUN NOUN_DESCR 212 ; SHINY PAPER This appears to be an eviction notice. There are some handwritten lines on the bottom of the notice. END_NOUN_DESCR TEXT 212 ; SHINY PAPER By order of the local sheriff, you have until dawn on Saturday, May 25, 1968 to vacant these premises. The documents you seek are scattered here and there. The last place you should look is the U.S. EPA. It is there that the danger is greatest, and there that the end lies, for good or ill. END_TEXT ROOM 38 ; Clearing Clearing EAST 39 ; Stone bridge WEST 37 ; Abandoned McArdle farm END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 38 ; Clearing You are standing in a sunlit clearing. The grass is a blinding green under the cloudless sky. White and purple clover lend color to the grass. Fat bumblebees are hypnotically droning from flower to flower. On either side of the clearing, tall oaks stand. At their feet, raspberry brambles crowd out less vigorous plants. You see an ancient stone bridge to the east. END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 39 ; Stone bridge Stone bridge EAST 40 ; Grassy area WEST 38 ; Clearing DOWN 161 ; Gully END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 39 ; Stone bridge You are standing upon a very old, ivy covered stone bridge. It passes over a weed-filled gully that must have been a small stream at some time. It is clear that no water has flowed under the bridge for a very long time. The bridge is very wide, being 12 feet across. The underside of the bridge is dark and moist, and exudes an unwholesome smell, as though some odious beast lives there. You lean over the side to try to see into the gloom, but you can see nothing from the bridge. END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 40 ; Grassy area Grassy area NORTH 43 ; Stone Tower SOUTH 42 ; Cave WEST 39 ; Stone bridge END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 40 ; Grassy area You have come to a most unusual place. It is a perfectly circular area floored with grass and clover. To the south there is a cave. The mouth of the cave is dim, and there are suggestions of shapes within. You feel a cold current of air emanating from it. To the east there is a vertical stone wall that is free of any vegetation. What appear to be faint lines on the rock face may be doors, but when you push on them, nothing happens. On the north side of the clearing stands an old stone tower, wreathed in ivy. In spite of the fact that the sun is on the opposite side of the tower, it casts no shadow at your feet. END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 41 ; Cave Cave EAST 76 ; Secret room WEST 40 ; Grassy area LIGHT 209 ; FLASHLIGHT END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 41 ; Cave The cave is cold and damp. The floor of the cave is covered with a thin film of water that reflects the beam of your hard hat lantern. From somewhere deep within, you hear water dripping. Following the sound, you come to an echoing, cool chamber. A stone table lies in the center of a pool of water before you. On the table lies a large stone, which is transfixed by a long, jewel encrusted sword. You notice an unusual pattern of moss on the cave wall. Going closer, you are amazed to see that the moss spells out a message. The moss says "Don't eat ANYTHING in Elfland." END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 42 ; Cave Cave NORTH 40 ; Grassy area END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 42 ; Cave You enter the cave and gasp. Before you lies a wondrous array of finely sculpted stone columns. The little sunlight that enters the cave is somehow amplified so much that you can see without difficulty. You walk farther into the cave. Lining the walls are veins of what are clearly gold and silver. END_ROOM_DESCR HELP 42 ; Cave Be nice to the dwarf. END_HELP_DESCR CREATURE 300 ; TINY DWARF DWARF TINY There is a tiny dwarf here. LOCATION 42 ; Cave END_CREATURE CREATURE_DESCR 300 ; TINY DWARF Near the end of one of the visible gold veins stands a tiny creature with a very long, grey beard. He is cautiously tapping at the gold with a hammer nearly as big as he is. Beside him on the floor is a pile of gold nuggets about two feet tall. END_CREATURE_DESCR ROOM 43 ; Stone Tower Stone Tower SOUTH 40 ; Grassy area SPECIAL 164 ; Stone Tower KEY 211 ; CROSS ROOM_SYNONYMS CHANGE_LOCATION SHOW DI END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 43 ; Stone Tower The tower is hollow within. There are no floors above you and you can see all the way to the top of the tower. On the stone floor are uncountable human bones, skulls are especially prevalent. You have an uneasy feeling about this place. END_ROOM_DESCR HELP 43 ; Stone Tower You need a silver cross to circumvent the redcap. END_HELP_DESCR CREATURE 301 ; STRONG REDCAP REDCAP STRONG There is a bloodthirsty redcap here. LOCATION 43 ; Stone Tower END_CREATURE CREATURE_DESCR 301 ; STRONG REDCAP The redcap is a squat being about 4 feet tall. It looks immensely powerful. It is wearing a blood red (literally) cap and is staring at you hungrily. END_CREATURE_DESCR ROOM 44 ; Clean zone Clean zone NORTH 45 ; NPL site SOUTH 36 ; Staging area END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 44 ; Clean zone This is the decontamination for operations on the hazardous waste site. Scattered here and there are barrels for containing contaminated disposable equipment. There are several portable toilets here. Off to one side is a tent that covers the eating area containing several tables and many chairs. To the west is an impenetrable forest. You can't go that way. The hazardous waste site stretches away from you to the north and east. END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 45 ; NPL site NPL site NORTH 46 ; NPL site SOUTH 44 ; Clean zone EAST 52 ; NPL site NORTHEAST 51 ; NPL site END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 45 ; NPL site This is the waste site proper. I hope you are up-to-date in your health and safety training, you wouldn't want to be fined! The ground is sporadically covered with grass, weeds, and gravel. Here and there are patches of bare earth. There are some straggly looking elderberry bushes on your right in front of the impenetrable forest. The berries are not ripe yet, and are inedible. The hazardous waste site stretches away from you to the north, south, and east. END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 46 ; NPL site NPL site NORTH 47 ; NPL site SOUTH 45 ; NPL site EAST 51 ; NPL site NORTHEAST 50 ; NPL site SOUTHEAST 52 ; NPL site END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 46 ; NPL site The forest is still dense to the west. There are more elderberry bushes here, and the ground is mostly covered by grass here. The hazardous waste site stretches away from you to the north, south, and east. END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 47 ; NPL site NPL site NORTH 48 ; NPL site SOUTH 46 ; NPL site EAST 50 ; NPL site NORTHEAST 49 ; NPL site SOUTHEAST 51 ; NPL site END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 47 ; NPL site You pass a small pond lying to the east. The ground is soggy with water. Large cattails sway as you push by them. The hazardous waste site stretches away from you to the north, south, and east. You see a strange figure by the pond. He is wearing what appears to be an antique football helmet, and he has a woven basket on his back into which he is dumping a live frog. There is an air of destiny about this man, as though he is on a mission. He doesn't see you. END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 48 ; NPL site NPL site SOUTH 47 ; NPL site EAST 49 ; NPL site SOUTHEAST 50 ; NPL site END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 48 ; NPL site In front of you lies a lake. You can travel no farther north from here. You can hear the sound of many frogs croaking in the rushes surrounding the lake. Now and then a fish splashes. Looking out across the lake, you see a slender female arm protruding from the water. The hand is empty. Suddenly, a white hart leaps into the water close by your position. The arm vanishes beneath the water. END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 49 ; NPL site NPL site SOUTH 50 ; NPL site EAST 53 ; NPL site WEST 48 ; NPL site SOUTHEAST 54 ; NPL site SOUTHWEST 47 ; NPL site END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 49 ; NPL site The eastern shore of the lake lies to the north. You see a small stream flowing out of the lake to the east. A raccoon is washing something in the stream. When it sees you, the raccoon drops its treasure, and flees, chittering as it goes. END_ROOM_DESCR HELP 49 ; NPL site Get the key. END_HELP_DESCR NOUN 225 ; HEAVY KEY KEY HEAVY There is a key here. LOCATION 49 ; NPL site POINTS 10 SIZE 2 END_NOUN NOUN_DESCR 225 ; HEAVY KEY This is a large, heavy key on a steel chain. It appears to fit to for a large lock of some kind. END_NOUN_DESCR ROOM 50 ; NPL site NPL site NORTH 49 ; NPL site SOUTH 51 ; NPL site EAST 54 ; NPL site WEST 47 ; NPL site NORTHEAST 53 ; NPL site NORTHWEST 48 ; NPL site SOUTHEAST 55 ; NPL site SOUTHWEST 46 ; NPL site END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 50 ; NPL site The lake and headwaters of the stream lie to the north. The hazardous waste site stretches away from you in all directions. Suddenly, a strange trio of creatures dance through the site in front of you. You stand rooted in disbelief as they wend their way by chanting a very familiar chant, but with new words. One is wearing a Tyvek suit, another is clad in a three-piece grey suit, and the remaining individual is wearing overalls. Lawyers, engineers, and PRP's, Oh my! Lawyers, engineers, and PRP's, Oh my! Lawyers, engineers, and PRP's, Oh my! Lawyers, engineers, and PRP's, Oh my! Thus singing, they disappear into the western distance. END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 51 ; NPL site NPL site NORTH 50 ; NPL site SOUTH 52 ; NPL site EAST 55 ; NPL site WEST 46 ; NPL site NORTHEAST 54 ; NPL site NORTHWEST 47 ; NPL site SOUTHEAST 55 ; NPL site SOUTHWEST 45 ; NPL site END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 51 ; NPL site The hazardous waste site stretches away from you in all directions. There is a small grove of stunted pine trees with yellow needles nearby. Some elder- berries are growing in a clump at your feet. END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 52 ; NPL site NPL site NORTH 51 ; NPL site EAST 56 ; NPL site WEST 45 ; NPL site NORTHEAST 55 ; NPL site NORTHWEST 46 ; NPL site END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 52 ; NPL site You are standing in a rock strewn area. Some sickly looking lichens are clinging to the rocks. A dead tree lies up against a pile of boulders. You hear a droning sound in the sky and look up to see a sky-writing airplane. It spells out the following message as you watch. The torred in the park has the HASP! END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 53 ; NPL site NPL site SOUTH 54 ; NPL site EAST 57 ; NPL site WEST 49 ; NPL site SOUTHEAST 58 ; NPL site SOUTHWEST 50 ; NPL site END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 53 ; NPL site To the north lies a noisy stream. Purple loosestrife and many bullrushes line its banks. You see a woman methodically surveying the site. She is performing a thorough ECOLOGICAL RISK ASSESSMENT for PALADIN ASSOCIATES, INC. You are impressed with her professionality as she pursues her goal with incredible con- centration and diligence. END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 54 ; NPL site NPL site NORTH 53 ; NPL site SOUTH 55 ; NPL site EAST 58 ; NPL site WEST 50 ; NPL site NORTHEAST 57 ; NPL site NORTHWEST 49 ; NPL site SOUTHEAST 59 ; NPL site SOUTHWEST 51 ; NPL site DOWN 141 ; Test Pit END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 54 ; NPL site There is a test pit here. A ladder leads down into the shadows. There is some noisome, muddy water at the bottom. END_ROOM_DESCR HELP 54 ; NPL site Check out the test pit. You can't win if you don't. END_HELP_DESCR ROOM 55 ; NPL site NPL site NORTH 54 ; NPL site SOUTH 56 ; NPL site EAST 59 ; NPL site WEST 51 ; NPL site NORTHEAST 58 ; NPL site NORTHWEST 50 ; NPL site SOUTHEAST 60 ; NPL site SOUTHWEST 52 ; NPL site END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 55 ; NPL site The hazardous waste site extends away from you in all directions. There is nothing special about the area in which you are standing. END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 56 ; NPL site NPL site NORTH 55 ; NPL site EAST 60 ; NPL site WEST 52 ; NPL site NORTHEAST 59 ; NPL site NORTHWEST 51 ; NPL site END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 56 ; NPL site You are standing at the southern border of the hazardous waste site. Suddenly, there is a piercing scream to your left. Looking around, you see an extremely ugly woman caught in unnaturally localized cloudburst. She screams horribly. "I'm leaching! I'm leaching! Beautiful me! Ah! I'm leaching!" As you watch, her form becomes fluid and ripples, and she flows away across the pebbly ground into a small dry gully nearby. Her filthy, old clothes collapse shape- lessly to the ground. END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 57 ; NPL site NPL site SOUTH 58 ; NPL site WEST 53 ; NPL site SOUTHWEST 54 ; NPL site END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 57 ; NPL site To the north runs a small noisy stream. You hear an occasional plop, as a frog dives into the water. Several redwing blackbirds fly close by your head. the east lies a cliff. If you go any further that way, you will surely fall to your death. The hazardous waste site extends away from you to the west, north, and south. END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 58 ; NPL site NPL site NORTH 57 ; NPL site SOUTH 59 ; NPL site WEST 54 ; NPL site NORTHWEST 53 ; NPL site SOUTHWEST 55 ; NPL site END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 58 ; NPL site To the east lies a cliff. If you go any further that way, you will surely fall to your death. A few trees cling to the edge of the precipice. It looks as though a strong wind would topple them into the abyss. There is nothing remarkable about this area. The hazardous waste site extends away from you to the west, north, and south. END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 59 ; NPL site NPL site NORTH 58 ; NPL site SOUTH 60 ; NPL site WEST 55 ; NPL site NORTHWEST 54 ; NPL site SOUTHWEST 56 ; NPL site END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 59 ; NPL site To the east lies a cliff. If you go any further that way, you will surely fall to your death. The hazardous waste site extends away from you to the west, north, and south. There is nothing remarkable about this place. END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 60 ; NPL site NPL site NORTH 59 ; NPL site WEST 56 ; NPL site NORTHWEST 55 ; NPL site END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 60 ; NPL site You are standing in the southeast corner of the hazardous waste site. A cliff lies to the east. If you go any farther that way, you will surely fall to your death. END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 61 ; Garage Garage NORTH 62 ; Laundry NORTHWEST 2 ; Parking Lot END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 61 ; Garage You are standing in the garage of someone's home. There is a door to the north. There is nothing here that you recognize. The floor is stained with automatic transmission fluid. The garage is a mess, with half-full cans of oil and pesticides scattered all around. There is a pile of tools dumped in a heap in one corner. Nothing that is here will be of any help to you in your quest. END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 62 ; Laundry Laundry SOUTH 61 ; Garage WEST 63 ; Family room END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 62 ; Laundry This is the laundry room. It is still warm and somewhat humid from the last time the dryer was used. You can smell the detergent that is stored in the cabinets. There are doors to the south and west. END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 63 ; Family room Family room NORTH 78 ; Back yard EAST 62 ; Laundry WEST 64 ; Kitchen END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 63 ; Family room You are standing in the family room. A large fireplace lines one wall. Facing the fireplace are an old couch and loveseat that have been repeatedly stained with an infinite variety of food and drink. Double doors lead to the deck and the backyard to the north. There are doors to the east and west. END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 64 ; Kitchen Kitchen SOUTH 68 ; Dining room EAST 63 ; Family room WEST 65 ; Study END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 64 ; Kitchen This is the kitchen. It is likely to be like most kitchens, so I don't have to tell you where things like eating utensils are located. There are doors to the east, west, and south. END_ROOM_DESCR HELP 64 ; Kitchen Look in the drawer if you want to find the HASP. END_HELP_DESCR NOUN 214 ; KITCHEN DRAWER DRAWER KITCHEN There is a drawer underneath the counter. LOCATION 64 ; Kitchen CLOSABLE END_NOUN NOUN_DESCR 214 ; KITCHEN DRAWER This is a kitchen drawer, and like all kitchen drawers, it likely contains a great variety of items, including, perhaps, a steel knife. END_NOUN_DESCR NOUN 215 ; STEEL KNIFE KNIFE STEEL There is a steel knife here. LOCATION 214 ; KITCHEN DRAWER POINTS 10 END_NOUN NOUN_DESCR 215 ; STEEL KNIFE This is an ordinary steel paring knife. There is nothing unusual about it, but how fortunate for you that you found it! You never know when you might meet a torred in your travels. END_NOUN_DESCR ROOM 65 ; Study Study SOUTH 66 ; Living room EAST 64 ; Kitchen END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 65 ; Study You are standing in a room whose walls are lined with books. This is the study/library. A impressive-looking computer sits on a battered, old desk. It is on, and the monitor shows the standard blue background of a well-known word processing program. There are doors leading to the east and south. END_ROOM_DESCR HELP 65 ; Study Read the monitor. END_HELP_DESCR NOUN 290 ; COMPUTER MONITOR MONITOR COMPUTER This is an SVGA computer monitor. Some text is displayed upon the screen. LOCATION 65 ; Study UNMOVABLE READABLE NOUN_SYNONYMS MONITOR TEXT END_NOUN TEXT 290 ; COMPUTER MONITOR Before you look for the Fool in regulatory heaven, you must, REPEAT, MUST have prepared yourself. There are several critical items you have to have if you are to survive that encounter. Good luck! END_TEXT ROOM 66 ; Living room Living room NORTH 65 ; Study EAST 67 ; Foyer END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 66 ; Living room This is the living room. There are doors leading to the north and east. On the wall is an original painting of an exquisitely beautiful Chinese woman in a boat. Her long, shiny black hair is blowing in the breeze. You can almost smell the sea air. Wait a minute! You CAN smell the sea air. How very strange! You step over to take a closer look. Reaching out and touching the painting, you feel yourself swept up in a dizzying whirlwind. Your mind reels crazily as you are sucked into another world. When you come to rest, you find yourself in the boat with the woman. Her gown rustles faintly as she reaches out to take your hand. She speaks. "Look for the true cross in the Chapel Perilous. It is not hard to find, and you must WEAR the cross to defeat the Fool! If you do not, then die when the Fool you meet." As she falls silent a large wave smashes into the boat and you are pitched over the side. Bracing yourself, you are amazed when you land back in the living room of your house, safe, and not a bit wet. The woman smiles at you from the painting. END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 67 ; Foyer Foyer SOUTH 77 ; Front yard EAST 68 ; Dining room WEST 66 ; Living room UP 69 ; Landing DOWN 75 ; Cellar END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 67 ; Foyer You are standing in the foyer. Doors lead to the east, south, and west. There are stairs leading up to the second floor, and down into the basement. END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 68 ; Dining room Dining room NORTH 64 ; Kitchen WEST 67 ; Foyer END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 68 ; Dining room This is the dining room. There is an expensive Pennsylvania House dining room suite that looks rarely used. Hanging on the eastern wall is a spacy California painting that gives the room an interesting added dimension. There are doors to the north and west. END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 69 ; Landing Landing NORTH 70 ; Bathroom NORTHEAST 74 ; Bedroom NORTHWEST 71 ; Bedroom SOUTHEAST 72 ; Bedroom SOUTHWEST 73 ; Bedroom DOWN 67 ; Foyer END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 69 ; Landing You are standing on the landing. There are many doors here. END_ROOM_DESCR HELP 69 ; Landing North, northeast, northwest, southwest, southeast. END_HELP_DESCR ROOM 70 ; Bathroom Bathroom SOUTH 69 ; Landing END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 70 ; Bathroom This is the guest bathroom. A door leads out to the south. Several bath toys lie on the vanity. END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 71 ; Bedroom Bedroom SOUTHEAST 69 ; Landing END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 71 ; Bedroom This is the master bedroom. It is filled with cherry furniture that looks new. There is a painting on the wall. It features a man, dressed in a suit, looking into the distance. He has a lantern hard hat on his head, and a respirator dangles from his hand. There is a small, brass sign on the bottom of the picture frame. It gives the name of the work as "Portrait of the Engineer as a Young Man." END_ROOM_DESCR NOUN 251 ; JEWELRY BOX BOX JEWELRY This is a walnut jewelry box. LOCATION 71 ; Bedroom CLOSABLE END_NOUN NOUN 252 ; VARIOUS JEWELS JEWELS VARIOUS These are brilliant, sparkling jewels of various types. LOCATION 251 ; JEWELRY BOX NOUN_SYNONYMS JEWELS JEWELRY JEWEL GEMS GEM END_NOUN NOUN_DESCR 252 ; VARIOUS JEWELS There is a variety of jewels here. You see diamonds, rubies, and several small emeralds. You could take these, but they won't serve any useful purpose in this game. END_NOUN_DESCR ROOM 72 ; Bedroom Bedroom NORTHWEST 69 ; Landing END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 72 ; Bedroom This is a small, guest bedroom. There is nothing special about this room or its contents. END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 73 ; Bedroom Bedroom NORTHEAST 69 ; Landing END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 73 ; Bedroom This is a guest bedroom. The furniture is well-used. There is a painting on the wall that depicts a magnificent view of a river and its associated wetlands. It is entitled "View from a Landfill." The artist is G. Bush. Upon closer inspection, you notice that a variety of land-filling equipment is shown in the painting, working on those wetlands. END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 74 ; Bedroom Bedroom SOUTHWEST 69 ; Landing END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 74 ; Bedroom This is obviously the bedroom of a child. The walls are lined with posters of professional wrestlers and football players. Baseball and football team pennants abound. END_ROOM_DESCR HELP 74 ; Bedroom Get the candy coins, you will need them. END_HELP_DESCR NOUN 221 ; CANDY COINS COINS CANDY There are some candy coins here. LOCATION 74 ; Bedroom POINTS 10 NOUN_SYNONYMS COINS CHOCOLATE END_NOUN NOUN_DESCR 221 ; CANDY COINS These are chocolate candy coins that have been wrapped in gold-colored foil. They look remarkably like the real thing. In fact, you could probably pass them off as such to certain, shall we say, less than brilliant faeries. END_NOUN_DESCR ROOM 75 ; Cellar Cellar UP 67 ; Foyer END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 75 ; Cellar You are standing in the cellar of the house. It is a cool, damp room. There is a Sears dehumidifier chugging away in the corner. It gurgles now and then as the condensed water flows away down the drain. There are stairs leading back to the foyer. Although your cellar is a single room, you could truthfully swear on a stack of bibles that you hear a noise coming from behind the wall to the east. Intrigued, you go over to inspect it. END_ROOM_DESCR HELP 75 ; Cellar Push on the wall. END_HELP_DESCR NOUN 295 ; DAMP WALL WALL DAMP There is a damp wall here. LOCATION 75 ; Cellar END_NOUN NOUN_DESCR 295 ; DAMP WALL The basement wall is damp and darkly colored from the wetness. It feels cold to the touch. You hear the sound of receding footsteps from behind the wall. END_NOUN_DESCR ROOM 76 ; Secret room Secret room WEST 41 ; Cave END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 76 ; Secret room You have found a secret room! It is very quiet and cold here. Along the walls are many coat hooks, some of which contain robes of an arcane variety. There are also many strange looking hats. There is an assortment of odd, but very deadly looking weapons lining the walls. There is a small table in the exact center of the room. Funny, the room seems to have no west wall! In that direction, the room just extends into the darkness. The source of the cold seems to be in that direction. END_ROOM_DESCR HELP 76 ; Secret room Get the badge. END_HELP_DESCR NOUN 216 ; PHOTO BADGE BADGE PHOTO There is an official-looking badge lying on the table. LOCATION 76 ; Secret room POINTS 10 WEARABLE NOUN_SYNONYMS BADGE ID END_NOUN NOUN_DESCR 216 ; PHOTO BADGE This is a U.S. EPA badge. Amazingly, it has your name and picture on it. With it, you can gain access to the U.S. EPA. Without it, forget it! END_NOUN_DESCR ROOM 77 ; Front yard Front yard NORTH 67 ; Foyer END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 77 ; Front yard This is the front lawn. It is well-manicured and very green. You see a small sign that indicates that the yard has just been sprayed by the lawn maintenance crew. Someone has placed a larger sign in your yard, near the road. END_ROOM_DESCR NOUN 217 ; LARGE SIGN SIGN LARGE There is a large sign on the lawn. LOCATION 77 ; Front yard SIZE 10 UNMOVABLE READABLE END_NOUN NOUN_DESCR 217 ; LARGE SIGN This a large sign, crudely constructed of plywood. Someone has written on the sign in very large letters. END_NOUN_DESCR TEXT 217 ; LARGE SIGN LAWN KHEMICALS = DETH!!! END_TEXT ROOM 78 ; Back yard Back yard SOUTH 63 ; Family room END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 78 ; Back yard This is the back yard. It leads to a small stream and wooded area behind the house. It is as unkempt as the front yard is neat. There is nothing of interest here. END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 79 ; McGillicudy's Pub McGillicudy's Pub SOUTHEAST 2 ; Parking Lot END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 79 ; McGillicudy's Pub You have attained McGillicudy's Pub, a haven of Celticism. The tight sounds of The Chieftains surround you, and the heady aroma of beer and ale assails your nostrils. The walls are lined with an astounding array of Irish para- phernalia. There are shamrocks, Irish flags, and many, many photos of Ireland. The bar stools sport gleaming green leather. Small wooden lepre- chauns fill every available niche. Then, there is McGillicudy himself. He is huge. A black-haired, blue-eyed Celt, he hulks over the bar with such an overpowering presence that none dare question his authority. Tall, fat tankards look tiny in his hands. He is the chief loremaster on Celtic beings hereabouts. Many is the time he has filled the bar just by holding forth on such arcane topics as banshees, hobgoblins, and the irresistible, incredibly sensuous White Ladies. He knows them all. END_ROOM_DESCR HELP 79 ; McGillicudy's Pub Get the holy water. END_HELP_DESCR NOUN 218 ; HOLY WATER WATER HOLY There is a small vial behind the bar. LOCATION 79 ; McGillicudy's Pub POINTS 10 SIZE 2 NOUN_SYNONYMS WATER VIAL END_NOUN NOUN_DESCR 218 ; HOLY WATER This is a vial of holy water. According to McGillicudy, the water was blessed by St. Patrick himself! Holy water can come in very handy, especially when dealing with the foolish. You had better take this vial with you. END_NOUN_DESCR NOUN 219 ; LARGE BOOK BOOK LARGE There is a large book sitting on the bar surrounded by beer tankards. LOCATION 79 ; McGillicudy's Pub POINTS 10 WEIGHT 10 SIZE 5 END_NOUN NOUN_DESCR 219 ; LARGE BOOK This is a large, heavy photo album. There is a label on the cover that reads, Photos of Faeries, by Sean Patrick McGillicudy. You page through it, coming across many photographs of actual faeries (or so the captions say, anyway). There are redcaps, torreds, elves, dwarves, and trolls. One photo catches your eye, and holds it. It is a shadowy photo, pur- portedly of the Fool, Amadan na Briona. With a shudder, you close the book on the Fool's horrifying visage. END_NOUN_DESCR ROOM 80 ; Park Park EAST 2 ; Parking Lot WEST 81 ; Park END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 80 ; Park You are standing in a sunlit area of the local park. Before you, you see many birds and bunnies. There are also a large number of trees and bushes. There is a path leading to the west, and back to the east. END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 81 ; Park Park NORTH 86 ; Park EAST 80 ; Park WEST 82 ; Park NORTHWEST 85 ; Park END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 81 ; Park You are in a park. Scattered about the perimeter of the clearing in which you are standing are a large number of peoples wearing tie-dyed clothes. They are all engaged in hugging trees. Some of them are talking or singing to the trees. You feel as though you have stepped into a time warp and ended up back in the Sixties. Wait! Could that be? Just then, a newspaper blows against your feet. Heart pounding and with a frisson of foreboding, you pick it up, expecting to see a 1960's dateline, but no, it portrays the current date. Relieved, you toss the paper back to the ground, eliciting reproachful stares from the tree-huggers. Paths lead off in several directions. END_ROOM_DESCR NOUN 248 ; TALL TREE TREE TALL There is a tall tree here. It is an Eastern Hophornbeam. LOCATION 81 ; Park NOUN_SYNONYMS TREE TREES END_NOUN ROOM 82 ; Park Park NORTH 85 ; Park EAST 81 ; Park WEST 83 ; Park NORTHEAST 86 ; Park NORTHWEST 84 ; Park SPECIAL 165 ; Park KEY 215 ; KNIFE ROOM_SYNONYMS CHANGE_LOCATION SHOW DI END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 82 ; Park You pass into a quiet, dark grove of evergreens. There is a small stone bench here under the trees. Although no one is present, you have an odd feeling that you are being watched. Perhaps you had better LOOK around (nudge, nudge, know what I mean? Know what I mean?). END_ROOM_DESCR HELP 82 ; Park The Follet has something you need. END_HELP_DESCR ROOM 83 ; Park Park NORTH 84 ; Park EAST 82 ; Park WEST 162 ; Perilous Chapel NORTHEAST 85 ; Park END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 83 ; Park You are standing at the base of a small, grassy knoll. Before you, to the west, lies an exquisite chapel. It is blindingly white, and is surrounded by aromatic, shiny, dark green pines. A cool breeze blows the enticing scent down the hill. END_ROOM_DESCR HELP 83 ; Park Go to the chapel. Go to the chapel. END_HELP_DESCR ROOM 84 ; Park Park NORTH 87 ; Park SOUTH 83 ; Park EAST 85 ; Park NORTHEAST 88 ; Park SOUTHEAST 82 ; Park END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 84 ; Park This part of the park is undergoing renovation. There are several large earth-moving vehicles parked near a large mound of dirt. Nothing of interest can be seen hereabouts. END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 85 ; Park Park NORTH 88 ; Park SOUTH 82 ; Park EAST 86 ; Park WEST 84 ; Park NORTHEAST 89 ; Park NORTHWEST 97 ; USEPA SOUTHEAST 81 ; Park SOUTHWEST 83 ; Park END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 85 ; Park Before you lies a large steep amphitheater. It is natural and lined with grass. At the bottom are a large number of people. They are milling about talking excitedly about something. Many are holding homemade wooden signs. You go a bit closer to see what is going on. The signs make such bold proclamations as NIMBY!, NOT AROUND HERE, BUB!, and TAKE YOUR WASTE AND SHOVE IT, YOU AIN'T DUMPIN' HERE NO MORE. A woman wearing a large, paper mache cow's head is holding a sign that reads, "Your land is a terrible thing to waste, or not to have." END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 86 ; Park Park NORTH 89 ; Park SOUTH 81 ; Park WEST 85 ; Park NORTHWEST 88 ; Park SOUTHWEST 82 ; Park END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 86 ; Park This is a little used part of the park. There is a large sewage pipe across a small stream. You are startled to see four small turtles with masks over their eyes come walking swiftly out of the pipe. They are singing the praises of pizza in shrill, high-pitched voices. Following them, walking upright and carrying a staff, is a large rat wearing a kimono. END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 87 ; Park Park SOUTH 84 ; Park EAST 88 ; Park SOUTHEAST 82 ; Park END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 87 ; Park Many flower beds line the path in this section of the park. They are well tended and very colorful. There is nothing of particular interest here. END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 88 ; Park Park SOUTH 85 ; Park EAST 89 ; Park WEST 87 ; Park SOUTHEAST 86 ; Park SOUTHWEST 84 ; Park END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 88 ; Park There is a park bench here. Lying across it, with his feet dangling off the edge, is a scruffy, disheveled looking man with a beard and a dusty, dinged up top hat. He is wearing a long black coat. With a start, you realize that the man is a dead-ringer for Abraham Lincoln. Then, you remember. There was that headline a few weeks back in that bastion of the media elite, the Worldly Wise Tattler Tabloid about thousands of Lincolns having been cloned in an effort to restore the American people's faith in government. Turns out to have been a wash, since there were so many Lincolns, there was not enough for them all to do. The unfortunate Abes ended up robbing people in alleyways, and kidnapping animals for pet organ-leggers. END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 89 ; Park Park SOUTH 86 ; Park WEST 88 ; Park SOUTHWEST 85 ; Park END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 89 ; Park You are in the northeast corner of the park. Through the few remaining trees, you can see the boulevard. Cars are passing by rapidly in each direction. You can smell the unpleasant odor of exhaust from here. END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 90 ; U.S. Environmental Protection U.S. Environmental Protection NORTH 2 ; Parking Lot SOUTH 91 ; Entrance - U.S. EPA END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 90 ; U.S. Environmental Protection You are standing in the parking lot of the U.S. EPA. There are many cars here. As you watch, you see one man being robbed by what appears to be a ten-year- old, and a teenager running away with a woman's purse. The entrance is to the south. END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 91 ; Entrance - U.S. EPA Entrance - U.S. EPA NORTH 90 ; U.S. Environmental Protection SOUTH 138 ; Supermarket SOUTHEAST 93 ; USEPA SOUTHWEST 92 ; USEPA SPECIAL 166 ; Entrance - U.S. EPA KEY 216 ; BADGE ROOM_SYNONYMS CHANGE_LOCATION SHOW DI END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 91 ; Entrance - U.S. EPA You are standing in the entrance of the U.S. EPA. There is a guard here with his feet up on his desk. He is reading a copy of Al Gore's "Earth in the Balance" and chuckling. Looking around, you see escalators to nowhere to the east and west. They are running, but only up to dead ends at the top. To the south, you see a grocery store with long lines of suited men and women waiting to buy lottery tickets, or check out videos. There are doors to the north, southeast, and southwest. END_ROOM_DESCR HELP 91 ; Entrance - U.S. EPA Show the guard your badge. END_HELP_DESCR ROOM 92 ; USEPA USEPA NORTHEAST 91 ; Entrance - U.S. EPA NORTHWEST 94 ; USEPA END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 92 ; USEPA You are standing in a long, winding corridor. It is dimly lit. The paint on the walls is a dingy off-white. The flickering phosphorescent lights give the hallway a headachy surreal look. END_ROOM_DESCR HELP 92 ; USEPA You are in the U.S. EPA. To find your way around will require much patience or a call to Jeff Robinson of PALADIN ASSOCIATES, INC. to request a map to guide you. END_HELP_DESCR ROOM 93 ; USEPA USEPA NORTHEAST 95 ; USEPA NORTHWEST 91 ; Entrance - U.S. EPA END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 93 ; USEPA You are standing in a long, winding corridor. It is dimly lit. The paint on the walls is a dingy off-white. The flickering phosphorescent lights give the hallway a headachy surreal look. END_ROOM_DESCR HELP 93 ; USEPA You are in the U.S. EPA. To find your way around will require much patience or a call to Jeff Robinson of PALADIN ASSOCIATES, INC. to request a map to guide you. END_HELP_DESCR ROOM 94 ; USEPA USEPA WEST 96 ; USEPA SOUTHEAST 92 ; USEPA END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 94 ; USEPA You are standing in a long, winding corridor. It is dimly lit. The paint on the walls is a dingy off-white. The flickering phosphorescent lights give the hallway a headachy surreal look. END_ROOM_DESCR HELP 94 ; USEPA You are in the U.S. EPA. To find your way around will require much patience or a call to Jeff Robinson of PALADIN ASSOCIATES, INC. to request a map to guide you. END_HELP_DESCR ROOM 95 ; USEPA USEPA EAST 167 ; USEPA SOUTHWEST 93 ; USEPA END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 95 ; USEPA You are standing in a long, winding corridor. It is dimly lit. The paint on the walls is a dingy off-white. The flickering phosphorescent lights give the hallway a headachy surreal look. END_ROOM_DESCR HELP 95 ; USEPA You are in the U.S. EPA. To find your way around will require much patience or a call to Jeff Robinson of PALADIN ASSOCIATES, INC. to request a map to guide you. END_HELP_DESCR ROOM 96 ; USEPA USEPA EAST 94 ; USEPA NORTHWEST 106 ; USEPA SOUTHWEST 97 ; USEPA END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 96 ; USEPA You are standing in a long, winding corridor. It is dimly lit. The paint on the walls is a dingy off-white. The flickering phosphorescent lights give the hallway a headachy surreal look. END_ROOM_DESCR HELP 96 ; USEPA You are in the U.S. EPA. To find your way around will require much patience or a call to Jeff Robinson of PALADIN ASSOCIATES, INC. to request a map to guide you. END_HELP_DESCR ROOM 97 ; USEPA USEPA SOUTH 98 ; USEPA NORTHEAST 96 ; USEPA END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 97 ; USEPA You are standing in a long, winding corridor. It is dimly lit. The paint on the walls is a dingy off-white. The flickering phosphorescent lights give the hallway a headachy surreal look. END_ROOM_DESCR HELP 97 ; USEPA You are in the U.S. EPA. To find your way around will require much patience or a call to Jeff Robinson of PALADIN ASSOCIATES, INC. to request a map to guide you. END_HELP_DESCR ROOM 98 ; USEPA USEPA NORTH 97 ; USEPA SOUTH 99 ; USEPA END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 98 ; USEPA You are standing in a long, winding corridor. It is dimly lit. The paint on the walls is a dingy off-white. The flickering phosphorescent lights give the hallway a headachy surreal look. END_ROOM_DESCR HELP 98 ; USEPA You are in the U.S. EPA. To find your way around will require much patience or a call to Jeff Robinson of PALADIN ASSOCIATES, INC. to request a map to guide you. END_HELP_DESCR ROOM 99 ; USEPA USEPA NORTH 98 ; USEPA WEST 100 ; USEPA END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 99 ; USEPA You are standing in a long, winding corridor. It is dimly lit. The paint on the walls is a dingy off-white. The flickering phosphorescent lights give the hallway a headachy surreal look. END_ROOM_DESCR HELP 99 ; USEPA You are in the U.S. EPA. To find your way around will require much patience or a call to Jeff Robinson of PALADIN ASSOCIATES, INC. to request a map to guide you. END_HELP_DESCR ROOM 100 ; USEPA USEPA NORTH 101 ; USEPA SOUTH 117 ; USEPA EAST 99 ; USEPA END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 100 ; USEPA You are standing in a long, winding corridor. It is dimly lit. The paint on the walls is a dingy off-white. The flickering phosphorescent lights give the hallway a headachy surreal look. There is a door to the south. END_ROOM_DESCR HELP 100 ; USEPA You are in the U.S. EPA. To find your way around will require much patience or a call to Jeff Robinson of PALADIN ASSOCIATES, INC. to request a map to guide you. END_HELP_DESCR ROOM 101 ; USEPA USEPA NORTH 103 ; USEPA SOUTH 100 ; USEPA WEST 102 ; Ladies Room END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 101 ; USEPA You are standing in a long, winding corridor. It is dimly lit. The paint on the walls is a dingy off-white. The flickering phosphorescent lights give the hallway a headachy surreal look. There is a door to the west. END_ROOM_DESCR HELP 101 ; USEPA You are in the U.S. EPA. To find your way around will require much patience or a call to Jeff Robinson of PALADIN ASSOCIATES, INC. to request a map to guide you. END_HELP_DESCR ROOM 102 ; Ladies Room Ladies Room EAST 101 ; USEPA END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 102 ; Ladies Room This is a typical federal government restroom. The stall walls are marred by political graffiti of all persuasions, some dating back as far as the Nixon administration. There is no toilet paper here. END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 103 ; USEPA USEPA NORTH 105 ; USEPA SOUTH 101 ; USEPA WEST 104 ; Photocopy Room END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 103 ; USEPA You are standing in a long, winding corridor. It is dimly lit. The paint on the walls is a dingy off-white. The flickering phosphorescent lights give the hallway a headachy surreal look. There is a door to the west. END_ROOM_DESCR HELP 103 ; USEPA You are in the U.S. EPA. To find your way around will require much patience or a call to Jeff Robinson of PALADIN ASSOCIATES, INC. to request a map to guide you. END_HELP_DESCR ROOM 104 ; Photocopy Room Photocopy Room EAST 103 ; USEPA END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 104 ; Photocopy Room This is the west wing photocopy room. As usual, 3 of the 4 copy machines are broken. END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 105 ; USEPA USEPA SOUTH 103 ; USEPA NORTHEAST 106 ; USEPA END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 105 ; USEPA You are standing in a long, winding corridor. It is dimly lit. The paint on the walls is a dingy off-white. The flickering phosphorescent lights give the hallway a headachy surreal look. END_ROOM_DESCR HELP 105 ; USEPA You are in the U.S. EPA. To find your way around will require much patience or a call to Jeff Robinson of PALADIN ASSOCIATES, INC. to request a map to guide you. END_HELP_DESCR ROOM 106 ; USEPA USEPA NORTH 136 ; Storeroom SOUTHEAST 96 ; USEPA SOUTHWEST 105 ; USEPA END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 106 ; USEPA You are standing in a long, winding corridor. It is dimly lit. The paint on the walls is a dingy off-white. The flickering phosphorescent lights give the hallway a headachy surreal look. There is a door to the north. END_ROOM_DESCR HELP 106 ; USEPA You are in the U.S. EPA. To find your way around will require much patience or a call to Jeff Robinson of PALADIN ASSOCIATES, INC. to request a map to guide you. END_HELP_DESCR ROOM 107 ; USEPA USEPA SOUTH 108 ; USEPA NORTHWEST 167 ; USEPA END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 107 ; USEPA You are standing in a long, winding corridor. It is dimly lit. The paint on the walls is a dingy off-white. The flickering phosphorescent lights give the hallway a headachy surreal look. END_ROOM_DESCR HELP 107 ; USEPA You are in the U.S. EPA. To find your way around will require much patience or a call to Jeff Robinson of PALADIN ASSOCIATES, INC. to request a map to guide you. END_HELP_DESCR ROOM 108 ; USEPA USEPA NORTH 107 ; USEPA SOUTH 109 ; USEPA END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 108 ; USEPA You are standing in a long, winding corridor. It is dimly lit. The paint on the walls is a dingy off-white. The flickering phosphorescent lights give the hallway a headachy surreal look. END_ROOM_DESCR HELP 108 ; USEPA You are in the U.S. EPA. To find your way around will require much patience or a call to Jeff Robinson of PALADIN ASSOCIATES, INC. to request a map to guide you. END_HELP_DESCR ROOM 109 ; USEPA USEPA NORTH 108 ; USEPA SOUTH 118 ; USEPA EAST 110 ; USEPA END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 109 ; USEPA You are standing in a long, winding corridor. It is dimly lit. The paint on the walls is a dingy off-white. The flickering phosphorescent lights give the hallway a headachy surreal look. There is a door to the south. END_ROOM_DESCR HELP 109 ; USEPA You are in the U.S. EPA. To find your way around will require much patience or a call to Jeff Robinson of PALADIN ASSOCIATES, INC. to request a map to guide you. END_HELP_DESCR ROOM 110 ; USEPA USEPA NORTH 111 ; USEPA WEST 109 ; USEPA END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 110 ; USEPA You are standing in a long, winding corridor. It is dimly lit. The paint on the walls is a dingy off-white. The flickering phosphorescent lights give the hallway a headachy surreal look. END_ROOM_DESCR HELP 110 ; USEPA You are in the U.S. EPA. To find your way around will require much patience or a call to Jeff Robinson of PALADIN ASSOCIATES, INC. to request a map to guide you. END_HELP_DESCR ROOM 111 ; USEPA USEPA NORTH 113 ; USEPA SOUTH 110 ; USEPA EAST 112 ; Men's Room END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 111 ; USEPA You are standing in a long, winding corridor. It is dimly lit. The paint on the walls is a dingy off-white. The flickering phosphorescent lights give the hallway a headachy surreal look. There is a door to the east. END_ROOM_DESCR HELP 111 ; USEPA You are in the U.S. EPA. To find your way around will require much patience or a call to Jeff Robinson of PALADIN ASSOCIATES, INC. to request a map to guide you. END_HELP_DESCR ROOM 112 ; Men's Room Men's Room WEST 111 ; USEPA END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 112 ; Men's Room This is a typical federal government restroom. The stall walls are marred by political graffiti of all persuasions, some dating back as far as the Nixon administration. There is no toilet paper here. END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 113 ; USEPA USEPA NORTH 115 ; USEPA SOUTH 111 ; USEPA EAST 114 ; Photocopies END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 113 ; USEPA You are standing in a long, winding corridor. It is dimly lit. The paint on the walls is a dingy off-white. The flickering phosphorescent lights give the hallway a headachy surreal look. There is a door to the east. END_ROOM_DESCR HELP 113 ; USEPA You are in the U.S. EPA. To find your way around will require much patience or a call to Jeff Robinson of PALADIN ASSOCIATES, INC. to request a map to guide you. END_HELP_DESCR ROOM 114 ; Photocopies Photocopies WEST 113 ; USEPA END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 114 ; Photocopies This is the east wing photocopy room. As usual, 3 of the 4 copy machines are broken. END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 115 ; USEPA USEPA SOUTH 113 ; USEPA NORTHWEST 116 ; USEPA END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 115 ; USEPA You are standing in a long, winding corridor. It is dimly lit. The paint on the walls is a dingy off-white. The flickering phosphorescent lights give the hallway a headachy surreal look. END_ROOM_DESCR HELP 115 ; USEPA You are in the U.S. EPA. To find your way around will require much patience or a call to Jeff Robinson of PALADIN ASSOCIATES, INC. to request a map to guide you. END_HELP_DESCR ROOM 116 ; USEPA USEPA NORTH 137 ; Storeroom SOUTHEAST 115 ; USEPA SOUTHWEST 167 ; USEPA END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 116 ; USEPA You are standing in a long, winding corridor. It is dimly lit. The paint on the walls is a dingy off-white. The flickering phosphorescent lights give the hallway a headachy surreal look. END_ROOM_DESCR HELP 116 ; USEPA You are in the U.S. EPA. To find your way around will require much patience or a call to Jeff Robinson of PALADIN ASSOCIATES, INC. to request a map to guide you. END_HELP_DESCR ROOM 117 ; USEPA USEPA NORTH 100 ; USEPA SOUTH 119 ; USEPA END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 117 ; USEPA You are standing in a long, winding corridor. It is dimly lit. The paint on the walls is a dingy off-white. The flickering phosphorescent lights give the hallway a headachy surreal look. END_ROOM_DESCR HELP 117 ; USEPA You are in the U.S. EPA. To find your way around will require much patience or a call to Jeff Robinson of PALADIN ASSOCIATES, INC. to request a map to guide you. END_HELP_DESCR ROOM 118 ; USEPA USEPA NORTH 109 ; USEPA SOUTH 123 ; USEPA END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 118 ; USEPA You are standing in a long, winding corridor. It is dimly lit. The paint on the walls is a dingy off-white. The flickering phosphorescent lights give the hallway a headachy surreal look. END_ROOM_DESCR HELP 118 ; USEPA You are in the U.S. EPA. To find your way around will require much patience or a call to Jeff Robinson of PALADIN ASSOCIATES, INC. to request a map to guide you. END_HELP_DESCR ROOM 119 ; USEPA USEPA NORTH 117 ; USEPA EAST 120 ; USEPA SOUTHWEST 137 ; Storeroom END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 119 ; USEPA You are standing in a long, winding corridor. It is dimly lit. The paint on the walls is a dingy off-white. The flickering phosphorescent lights give the hallway a headachy surreal look. There is a door to the southwest. END_ROOM_DESCR HELP 119 ; USEPA You are in the U.S. EPA. To find your way around will require much patience or a call to Jeff Robinson of PALADIN ASSOCIATES, INC. to request a map to guide you. END_HELP_DESCR ROOM 120 ; USEPA USEPA NORTH 105 ; USEPA SOUTH 139 ; Photocopies EAST 121 ; USEPA WEST 119 ; USEPA END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 120 ; USEPA You are standing in a long, winding corridor. It is dimly lit. The paint on the walls is a dingy off-white. The flickering phosphorescent lights give the hallway a headachy surreal look. There are doors to the north and south. END_ROOM_DESCR HELP 120 ; USEPA You are in the U.S. EPA. To find your way around will require much patience or a call to Jeff Robinson of PALADIN ASSOCIATES, INC. to request a map to guide you. END_HELP_DESCR ROOM 121 ; USEPA USEPA SOUTH 124 ; USEPA EAST 122 ; USEPA WEST 120 ; USEPA END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 121 ; USEPA You are standing in a long, winding corridor. It is dimly lit. The paint on the walls is a dingy off-white. The flickering phosphorescent lights give the hallway a headachy surreal look. There is a door to the south. END_ROOM_DESCR HELP 121 ; USEPA You are in the U.S. EPA. To find your way around will require much patience or a call to Jeff Robinson of PALADIN ASSOCIATES, INC. to request a map to guide you. END_HELP_DESCR ROOM 122 ; USEPA USEPA NORTH 115 ; USEPA SOUTH 140 ; Photocopies EAST 123 ; USEPA WEST 121 ; USEPA END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 122 ; USEPA You are standing in a long, winding corridor. It is dimly lit. The paint on the walls is a dingy off-white. The flickering phosphorescent lights give the hallway a headachy surreal look. There are doors to the north and south. END_ROOM_DESCR HELP 122 ; USEPA You are in the U.S. EPA. To find your way around will require much patience or a call to Jeff Robinson of PALADIN ASSOCIATES, INC. to request a map to guide you. END_HELP_DESCR ROOM 123 ; USEPA USEPA NORTH 118 ; USEPA WEST 122 ; USEPA SOUTHEAST 136 ; Storeroom END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 123 ; USEPA You are standing in a long, winding corridor. It is dimly lit. The paint on the walls is a dingy off-white. The flickering phosphorescent lights give the hallway a headachy surreal look. There is a door to the southeast. END_ROOM_DESCR HELP 123 ; USEPA You are in the U.S. EPA. To find your way around will require much patience or a call to Jeff Robinson of PALADIN ASSOCIATES, INC. to request a map to guide you. END_HELP_DESCR ROOM 124 ; USEPA USEPA NORTH 121 ; USEPA SOUTH 125 ; USEPA END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 124 ; USEPA You are standing in a long, narrow, straight corridor. It is dimly lit, and the walls are a bilious green color. END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 125 ; USEPA USEPA NORTH 124 ; USEPA SOUTH 126 ; USEPA EAST 90 ; U.S. Environmental Protection END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 125 ; USEPA You are standing in a long, narrow, straight corridor. It is dimly lit, and the walls are a bilious green color. There is a door to the east. It is marked "This way to the egress." END_ROOM_DESCR HELP 125 ; USEPA Before you do anything foolish, remember P.T. Barnum's egress! END_HELP_DESCR ROOM 126 ; USEPA USEPA NORTH 125 ; USEPA SOUTH 127 ; NORTH 126 END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 126 ; USEPA You are standing at the end of a long, narrow, straight corridor. It is dimly lit, and the walls are a bilious green color. There is a door directly to the south. END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 127 ; NORTH 126 NORTH 126 SOUTH 131 ; EARTH EAST 129 ; FIRE WEST 133 ; Office of Pesticide Products ( NORTHEAST 128 ; WATER NORTHWEST 134 ; Office of Solid Waste and Emer SOUTHEAST 130 ; AIR SOUTHWEST 132 ; Office of Toxic Substances (OT END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 127 ; NORTH 126 You have entered a large circular room with many doors. This room is very brightly lit after the dismal corridor, and you must wait several minutes for your eyes to adjust to the brightness. Starting from the northwest, the doors are labelled OSWER, OPP, OTS, EARTH, AIR, FIRE, AND WATER, in that order. You have come to the heart of environmentalism in the United States. This is the sanctum sanctorum of that most august body, the United States Environmental Protection Agency. Overcome with dread, you put off thy shoes from thy feet. END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 128 ; WATER WATER SOUTHWEST 127 ; NORTH 126 END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 128 ; WATER There is an olympic size swimming pool in this room. You cough gently at the pungent odor of chlorine. The room echoes aquatically. There is no one here at present. END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 129 ; FIRE FIRE WEST 127 ; NORTH 126 END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 129 ; FIRE You can't really have expected to find anything in here! Come on, Earth, Air, FIRE, and water, get it? The four primal elements? END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 130 ; AIR AIR NORTHWEST 127 ; NORTH 126 END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 130 ; AIR There are about five volumes on a large, nearly empty bookcase on the far side of the room. These are the reports on the substances regulated under the Clean Air Act. Each volume is the air standard and justification thereof for a particular substance. Wow! Five substances dealt with in over twenty years! What a blistering pace. No wonder this office is empty. Everyone must be recuperating after all that intense work! END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 131 ; EARTH EARTH NORTH 127 ; NORTH 126 END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 131 ; EARTH This room is empty except for a very large globe. END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 132 ; Office of Toxic Substances (OT Office of Toxic Substances (OT NORTHEAST 127 ; NORTH 126 END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 132 ; Office of Toxic Substances (OT This room is a veritable beehive of regulatory activity. Scores of project managers are rushing hither and yon to nail down which of thousands of fairly innocuous compounds to recommend be tested for environmental fate and toxicity. Under consideration today are a series of obscure industrial dyes that are very low volume use chemicals, and about which no one knows anything at all and no one much cares about. END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 133 ; Office of Pesticide Products ( Office of Pesticide Products ( EAST 127 ; NORTH 126 END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 133 ; Office of Pesticide Products ( In this room are gathered many studies of the environmental fate of and worker exposure to a vast array of pesticides. It is here that these studies come from pesticide companies to be reviewed to assess their adherence to regulatory guidelines. Unfortunately, many studies languish here for years before they are reviewed by such excellent consulting firms as PALADIN ASSOCIATES, INC. of Fayetteville, NY. END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 134 ; Office of Solid Waste and Emer Office of Solid Waste and Emer SOUTHEAST 127 ; NORTH 126 SPECIAL 135 ; Comprehensive Environmental Re ROOM_SYNONYMS MAGIC_WORD EXCALIBUR END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 134 ; Office of Solid Waste and Emer This is the war room of the U.S. EPA. It is here that away teams are stationed in full readiness to rush off to remediate environmental problems of immediate concern. Several teams are here at present, dressed in full battle outfits of camouflaged Tyvek suits. They are wearing full-face respirators, and are equipped with the very latest in environmental remediation tools. There is a door to the northwest sporting a sign which says "Type the WORD to enter." END_ROOM_DESCR SPECIAL 135 ; Comprehensive Environmental Re You type the magic word, Excalibur, and the door opens silently. With some trepidation, you enter the room. END_SPECIAL ROOM 135 ; Comprehensive Environmental Re Comprehensive Environmental Re END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 135 ; Comprehensive Environmental Re This room is filled with computer terminals. They are all connected to the Air Toxics database filled with the industrial emissions data gathered under the Right to Know legislation. There are no human beings present. You have an uneasy feeling in this place, as though something evil is present, although you see nothing amiss. You are just about to leave, when the air shimmers over in the corner of the room. The phenomenon reminds you of the beaming process in Star Trek. END_ROOM_DESCR CREATURE 302 ; THE FOOL FOOL THE Suddenly, HE is here. The Fool! LOCATION 135 ; Comprehensive Environmental Re END_CREATURE CREATURE_DESCR 302 ; THE FOOL This is Amadan na Briona, The Fool, the deadliest inhabitant of the land of Faery, and he is coming towards you. Your eyes are drawn to his, and you find it nearly impossible to look away. If you don't do something very soon, you will be lost. I hope you have been paying attention to the objects you needed to collect, otherwise you are surely doomed. END_CREATURE_DESCR ROOM 136 ; Storeroom Storeroom SOUTH 106 ; USEPA END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 136 ; Storeroom This is a vast storeroom containing an incredible number of large wooden crates. It is here that the U.S. EPA keeps many of the archeological trea- sures that have been found during the excavation of NPL sites. These are kept for a budgetary rainy day when they will be sold to help the Agency meets its budget. Somewhere in this room may even be the Ark of the Covenant that was recovered by a famous motion picture archeologist with a whip. END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 137 ; Storeroom Storeroom SOUTH 116 ; USEPA END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 137 ; Storeroom This is a refrigerated storeroom containing millions of biological samples that have been, or will be analyzed for their pollutant content. Among the samples are fat samples that were obtained by liposuction from overweight people throughout the world. END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 138 ; Supermarket Supermarket NORTH 91 ; Entrance - U.S. EPA END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 138 ; Supermarket This is a large supermarket. Typical of such establishments is its very low temperature. You are cold in spite of the fact that you are wearing a light sweater. As you walk up and down the aisles, you see the many and varied food products that most Americans take for granted, but that residents of many other countries would kill for. You proceed to the deli section to pick up some snacks for the football game this weekend. You see the latest edition of the Worldly Wise Tattler Tabloid beside the checkout line. The headline screams something about Elvis being married to a princess from Atlantis. You don't buy a copy. END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 139 ; Photocopies Photocopies NORTH 120 ; USEPA END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 139 ; Photocopies This is the west wing photocopy room. As usual, 3 of the 4 copy machines are broken. END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 140 ; Photocopies Photocopies NORTH 122 ; USEPA END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 140 ; Photocopies This is the east wing photocopy room. As usual, 3 of the 4 copy machines are broken. END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 141 ; Test Pit Test Pit WEST 142 ; Dim grotto UP 54 ; NPL site END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 141 ; Test Pit You are standing in a test pit. It is very damp here, and the wiggling ends of worms protrude from the clayey pit walls. In the western corner of the pit, there is a dark area. Looking closer, you see that the shadows have hidden a small hole just big enough to crawl through. There is nothing else of interest about this place. END_ROOM_DESCR HELP 141 ; Test Pit Go west, go west. END_HELP_DESCR SPECIAL 142 ; Dim grotto You type the magic word, and the car door slides open silently. The car is empty, so you sit wherever you please. Swaying with the wind, the car moves down the cable with an occasional scraping sound. The ride is uneventful, and you soon find yourself deposited back where you began your travels through Elfland. END_SPECIAL ROOM 142 ; Dim grotto Dim grotto SOUTH 143 ; Elfland EAST 141 ; Test Pit END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 142 ; Dim grotto You are standing in a dim grotto. What light there is comes down from the sloping passage up to the test pit to the east. There is a path to the south. On the wall you see a small sign, with letters consisting of what appears to be dried blood. END_ROOM_DESCR NOUN 285 ; SMALL SIGN SIGN SMALL There is a small sign here. LOCATION 142 ; Dim grotto SIZE 3 UNMOVABLE READABLE END_NOUN NOUN_DESCR 285 ; SMALL SIGN The following verse is written on the sign in blood. When faeries rage, there's hell to pay. Unless you have a harp to play. END_NOUN_DESCR TEXT 285 ; SMALL SIGN When faeries rage, there's hell to pay. Unless you have a harp to play. END_TEXT ROOM 143 ; Elfland Elfland SOUTHEAST 144 ; Elfland END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 143 ; Elfland A large, neon sign reads: ELFLAND The honorable lord high majesty OBERON presiding As you stand considering this sign, a vast array of very tiny individuals pass you carrying spades and singing a familiar tune. Ding dong, the waste is gone The toxic waste is gone. Ding dong, the toxic waste is gone. So singing they proceed out of the room into the test pit beyond, and up the ladder. There is a path to the southeast. END_ROOM_DESCR HELP 143 ; Elfland Get the harp, you will need it. END_HELP_DESCR NOUN 222 ; CELTIC HARP HARP CELTIC There is a Celtic harp here. LOCATION 143 ; Elfland POINTS 5 WEIGHT 4 SIZE 4 PLAYABLE END_NOUN NOUN_DESCR 222 ; CELTIC HARP Alone on a tall mahogany pedestal sits a gleaming Celtic harp. Its stings catch the light of the room and shine with bursts of multi-colored sparks. Faintly, you can hear the voice of the strings as the breeze passes them by. It is a low, sweet harmonic. END_NOUN_DESCR ROOM 144 ; Elfland Elfland SOUTHWEST 145 ; Elfland END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 144 ; Elfland Into your mind bursts vivid images and sensations of the prime moments of your life. You are dazed and confused by a myriad of smells, tastes, and sounds from your past. Your first kiss. The music of your childhood, barely remembered, fills you with the remembrance of innocence. The loose- ness and expansiveness of the first time you felt free and independent from your parents. Your mind reels, and you feel dizzy for several moments until the passions subside and you feel normal once again. There is a path to the southwest. END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 145 ; Elfland Elfland SOUTHEAST 146 ; Elfland END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 145 ; Elfland You find yourself above ground. The sky stretches above you to a far horizon on every side. The moon and sun are both in the sky, and the light about you is so brilliant, that you must squint your eyes. Slowly, as you become accustomed to the light, you begin to notice your surroundings. You are in the midst of the most exotic vegetation you have ever seen. The colors of the leaves and the most incredible green, and an impossible assortment of colors gleam from millions of large, sweetly scented flowers. The assault of all these stimuli on your senses has you reeling slightly. You are not sure, but you think you see several small creatures with furry feet pass quickly and quietly by you and into the undergrowth. The path meanders off to the southeast. END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 146 ; Elfland Elfland EAST 147 ; Elfland END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 146 ; Elfland It is dark. The first thing you hear is the sound of gulls, then comes the unmistakable sound of waves splashing. Unnaturally quickly, the sun rises above the horizon and zooms into the sky. You see that you are on the sea- shore. Before you on the water, you see a dilapidated raft in the distance. With the same unnatural quickness shown by the sun, the raft approaches you. Chained to what remains of its mast is a figure of heroic proportions. He is dressed in brilliant plate mail, and his visor is down. He is holding a naked sword in his hand. Its killing point pricks the breast of a voluptuous woman, who crouches before him. Her diaphanous, fiery green gown billows and flows with the wind. She is blonde, and very, very lovely. The two stare at each other wordlessly as the raft rapidly floats away towards the horizon. The sun sets, leaving you alone in the darkness. The path follows the damp coastline to the east. END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 147 ; Elfland Elfland NORTHEAST 148 ; Elfland END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 147 ; Elfland You are in a great forest. As you stand listening to the sounds of the forest, an old man dressed in white passes you by. His head is bowed and his beard is very long. He carries a black staff is his right hand and upon his finger is an intricate ring with a brilliant, deep red stone. He says not a word and walks away from you. You are about to speak, thinking you recognize him, when he turns to look at you, and, becoming insubstantial, his image wavers and vanishes. You see a densely overgrown path to the northeast. END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 148 ; Elfland Elfland EAST 149 ; Elfland END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 148 ; Elfland Before you lies a high throne, upon which is seated a regal woman. She is dressed in silk, green and gold in color. Surrounding her is a retinue of very interesting creatures. There are satyrs, centaurs, fauns, and several pure white bulls. Behind her throne is a cyclops. There is a large griffin circling over the woman's head. A man wearing a lion's skin is standing next to the woman. He appears to be immensely strong, and could likely give Arnold a run for his money. These individuals appear odd, and after a minute you figure out why. They are completely immobile. Approaching them, you discover that they are not statues, however, but living breathing beings. They are unaware of you. There is a path to the east. END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 149 ; Elfland Elfland NORTH 150 ; Elfland END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 149 ; Elfland You enter an area of night. The moon, larger and brighter than you have ever seen it, casts sufficient light to see quite clearly. Oddly, this moonlight does not yield the altered colors normally seen at night. There are brilliant reds and yellows, instead of the customary greys and whites. This very odd effect gives you a disturbing disoriented feeling, and you shake your head several times. Odd constellations of stars wheel quickly by overhead. In a clearing to your left is a ring of mushrooms. Startled, you realize that each has a tiny creature dancing upon it. Several of them are playing madly on fiddles. The tune is Garry Owen. In the exact middle of the ring is a weary man in tattered clothes. He is dancing, with motions like a drunkard that you soon realize are caused by his fatigue. He looks to have been dancing for years. His shoes have been worn from his feet, and his clothes are in tatters. The little men on the mushrooms shriek with glee as the man stumbles clumsily about. Wisely, you decide your best course is to leave before the little men spot you. The path proceeds to the north. END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 150 ; Elfland Elfland NORTHEAST 151 ; Elfland END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 150 ; Elfland With the dreary aspect of a funeral procession, four exquisitely clad women pass you by bearing an injured man. He is bleeding from a wound to the head. They place the man into a boat, board it, and slowly paddle away from the shore. As you watch, an island appears from nowhere. The boat approaches the island shore, and they disembark, again carrying the man above their heads. The island blinks out and is gone, taking them with it. The path wanders off to the northeast through a fetid marsh. END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 151 ; Elfland Elfland NORTHWEST 152 ; Elfland END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 151 ; Elfland You are standing in a very large rectangular room. The room is so large that you cannot see the far wall. The ceiling is hung low, so that although you don't have to, you are tempted to duck your head to avoid a bump. Running parallel to the long side of the room are innumerable oaken tables. They are piled unbelievably high with food of an astounding variety. Your nostrils are assailed by various and sundry potent, irresistible odors. In a clearing amongst the tables, you see an area in which many tiny creatures are dancing madly. Close by them is an equally tiny group of elven musicians. They are playing traditional Irish instruments. The Chieftains are standing near to them and shaking their heads in disbelief at the quality of the performance. You can see a path to the northwest. END_ROOM_DESCR NOUN 223 ; DELICIOUS FOOD FOOD DELICIOUS There is a large amount of delicious food here. LOCATION 151 ; Elfland EDIBLE END_NOUN NOUN_DESCR 223 ; DELICIOUS FOOD Before you lies an immense amount of enticing food. There are cakes, pies, and pastries of all descriptions. Bowls of exotic, aromatic fruits are strewn here and there. There is an entire ox turning on a spit upon one of the tables, and although there is no sign of a heat source, the ox is spitting grease and crackling. Huge, whole cheeses are stacked nearby mounds of steaming, fresh baked breads. You see cheddar, blue, and Swiss cheeses next to fresh, steaming, rye, white and pumpernickel loaves. An exotic-looking fountain stands nearby, brimming with wine. This is the font of jurisprudence. END_NOUN_DESCR ROOM 152 ; Elfland Elfland NORTH 153 ; Elfland END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 152 ; Elfland You have done well! You have made it past the party room of the Daione Sidhe. Fewer people have done so than can be counted on the hands of a man with no fingers. You are to be congratulated. Congratulations! But don't forget, you still have your quest to achieve! There appears to be a path to the north. END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 153 ; Elfland Elfland NORTHWEST 154 ; Elfland END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 153 ; Elfland As you step into this room, you nearly die from a heart attack, for you realize that you are under water. After this justifiable, momentary panic attack, you find that you can still breathe. Enjoying this novel sensation, you inspect your surroundings. Close by your head swim a vast number of brilliantly colored tropical fish. Before your feet lies an intricate coral reef, with all its innumerable exquisite life forms. The water is warm, and suffused with sunlight. You feel small temperature differences as tiny micro- currents of water flow by your face. A break in the reef lies to the northwest. It appears to be the only way to go. END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 154 ; Elfland Elfland NORTHWEST 155 ; Elfland END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 154 ; Elfland This room contains an incredible array of exquisite treasures. The walls are lined with statues by Michelangelo, Rodin, and anonymous Greek sculptors. Above the statuary are paintings of Van Gogh, Matisse, Da Vinci, and Botticelli, among others. Scattered here and there across the open floor are very many chests, some open, some closed. The open chests are overflowing with jewelry, unset gems, and various golden and silver objects. There is a door to the northwest. END_ROOM_DESCR HELP 154 ; Elfland Open the chest with the raccoon on it. END_HELP_DESCR NOUN 224 ; LARGE CHEST CHEST LARGE There is a large chest here. LOCATION 154 ; Elfland SIZE 10 UNMOVABLE CLOSABLE LOCKABLE LOCKED KEY 225 ; HEAVY KEY END_NOUN NOUN_DESCR 224 ; LARGE CHEST At the far side of the room is a chest all by itself. It is slightly larger than the others. It is locked with a large, heavy padlock. The top of the chest is emblazoned with an image of a raccoon. END_NOUN_DESCR NOUN 279 ; THICK VOLUME VOLUME THICK There is a thick volume here. LOCATION 224 ; LARGE CHEST POINTS 40 READABLE NOUN_SYNONYMS VOLUME BOOK WORK PLAN END_NOUN NOUN_DESCR 279 ; THICK VOLUME This is large volume with a great many pages. It appears to be a Vigilant Engineers' document. END_NOUN_DESCR TEXT 279 ; THICK VOLUME Work Plan BUR END_TEXT ROOM 155 ; Elfland Elfland END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 155 ; Elfland I hope you haven't dropped your harp, because this room is filled with angry inhabitants of Elfland who know you have taken the Work Plan, and would like nothing better than to take it back and turn you into a newt, or something even worse! The angry faeries start towards you with evil grins on their faces. END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 156 ; Elfland Elfland WEST 157 ; Elfland END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 156 ; Elfland Fleeing from the angry elves, you stumble blindly into this room. Loud, very loud music pulses in your ears. The room is filled with the eerie, blue glow or ultraviolet light. Day-glo posters of all sorts gleam at you from the walls. A small but brilliant strobe light flashes from the corner. Leering at you are several faces from the Sixties you feel you should recognize. Wait! You have it. Here are Jim Morrison and Jimi Hendrix. They are smoking marijuana with a large hookah on a Persian rug. Janis Joplin is in the corner drinking Jack Daniels with John Lennon. You feel a pounding headache coming on from the cloying odor of incense. There is an open door to the west. END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 157 ; Elfland Elfland SOUTHWEST 158 ; Elfland END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 157 ; Elfland There is a bier here, and the room is somberly lit with the light of thirteen tall, white candles. The smoky, waxy smell reminds you perversely of the birthday parties you parents used to throw for you as a child. The walls are lined with black silk, and the air in the room feels dead and still. You try snapping your fingers, but the sound is muted and dull. As you watch, six black robe-clad individuals enter the room carrying a coffin. They place it on the bier, and leave the room. Approaching the bier, you gaze into the coffin with some trepidation, but it does not contain a body. There is a door to the southwest. END_ROOM_DESCR NOUN 226 ; STICKY PAPER PAPER STICKY There is a sticky piece of paper in the coffin. LOCATION 157 ; Elfland POINTS 5 READABLE NOUN_SYNONYMS PAPER POST-IT POST-IT POSTIT POSTIT END_NOUN NOUN_DESCR 226 ; STICKY PAPER This is a small piece of paper resembling a Post-it note. It has only one short phrase written upon it. END_NOUN_DESCR TEXT 226 ; STICKY PAPER See McGillicudy about the holy water. END_TEXT ROOM 158 ; Elfland Elfland SOUTH 159 ; Elfland END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 158 ; Elfland This room is filled with musical instruments of every kind. It is the Elfland Conservatory. The gleaming instruments are placed in classes in the various parts of the room. There are percussion instruments on the east wall, next to the woodwinds. On the north wall are the brass instruments, and on the south wall are placed the strings. There on the south wall you notice a single empty hook. It appears to be the spot where a harp, identical in size to the very harp you are now carrying, should be hung. There is an arch to the south leading from the room. END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 159 ; Elfland Elfland SOUTHEAST 160 ; Elfland END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 159 ; Elfland This is the library of Elfland. It is a gigantic room. The walls are at least twenty feet high, and the room stretches away from you into some unguessable distance. There are shelves covering every inch of wall space, and each shelf is neatly filled with volumes bound in leathers of every conceivable color. You notice that there is no dust on any of the surfaces in this room, including the book bindings. A casual inspection of some titles reveals a startling array of first editions by virtually every author you have ever heard of, and many that you haven't. There is a door to the southeast. END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 160 ; Elfland Elfland SPECIAL 142 ; Dim grotto ROOM_SYNONYMS MAGIC_WORD RUCKELSHAUS END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 160 ; Elfland You find yourself at the landing of a funicular, high up on the side of an snow clad mountain. It is very cold here. Looking down, you see the car far below you heading your way. Several thousand feet down, you see many dark evergreen trees that cover the lower slopes of the mountain. The car is quite close now. There is no one in it. Creaking ominously, the car crunches to a stop in the frigid air. It is absolutely quiet here. END_ROOM_DESCR NOUN 230 ; SMALL FLYER FLYER SMALL There is a small flyer stuck to the window of the car. LOCATION 160 ; Elfland POINTS 5 READABLE NOUN_SYNONYMS FLYER PAPER END_NOUN TEXT 230 ; SMALL FLYER Stuck outside the car? Type the magic word "Ruckelshaus." END_TEXT ROOM 161 ; Gully Gully UP 39 ; Stone bridge SPECIAL 170 ; Gully KEY 221 ; COINS ROOM_SYNONYMS CHANGE_LOCATION DROP GIVE OFFER END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 161 ; Gully You are standing in a dry creek bed spanned by an ancient stone bridge. The dark area beneath the bridge is directly before you to the north. You hear the sounds of some immense creature rustling around under the bridge. There in the darkness you perceive the huge shape of a troll! The wind bears its thoroughly disagreeable odor to you. The sun shines very hot on your back as you contemplate what to do. END_ROOM_DESCR HELP 161 ; Gully You could use some ersatz golden coins here. Have you seen any anywhere? END_HELP_DESCR ROOM 162 ; Perilous Chapel Perilous Chapel EAST 83 ; Park END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 162 ; Perilous Chapel As you enter the chapel, a deep voice intones, `Who is it that dares enter The Chapel Perilous?' Then, complete silence falls, the voice does not return, in spite of your quavering answer. It is very dark inside. The only light comes from seven, tall, white candles that sit upon a wax coated altar. The shadows play across the wall behind the altar. There you see the shadowy shape of a mighty sword, although there is no object in the room capable of casting such a shadow. As you stare at the wall, you notice a small discontinuity about six feet up the wall on the left hand side of the altar. Looking closer, you see a small door that is not shut tightly. END_ROOM_DESCR HELP 162 ; Perilous Chapel Look in the cubbyhole. END_HELP_DESCR NOUN 275 ; SMALL CUBBYHOLE CUBBYHOLE SMALL There is a small cubbyhole here. LOCATION 162 ; Perilous Chapel CLOSABLE END_NOUN NOUN_DESCR 275 ; SMALL CUBBYHOLE This is a small cubbyhole, about six feet up the wall on the left side of the altar. The door of the cubbyhole is slightly ajar. END_NOUN_DESCR NOUN 227 ; TRUE CROSS CROSS TRUE There is a sliver of wood here. LOCATION 275 ; SMALL CUBBYHOLE POINTS 10 WEARABLE NOUN_SYNONYMS CROSS SLIVER WOOD END_NOUN NOUN_DESCR 227 ; TRUE CROSS This is a piece of the True Cross. This holiest of relics is attached to a chain of 24 ct gold. Handle this object with reverence. END_NOUN_DESCR ROOM 163 ; Cave Cave NORTH 40 ; Grassy area END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 163 ; Cave The dwarf's cackles echo in the room. You are alone. END_ROOM_DESCR NOUN 298 ; THICK QAPP QAPP THICK There is a thick QAPP toward the back of the cave. LOCATION 163 ; Cave POINTS 40 WEIGHT 3 READABLE NOUN_SYNONYMS QAPP BOOK QAPP END_NOUN NOUN_DESCR 298 ; THICK QAPP This is the Quality Assurance Project Plan, or QAPP. It is one of the documents you have been seeking. Grab it while the grabbing's good! END_NOUN_DESCR TEXT 298 ; THICK QAPP Quality Assurance Project Plan (QAPP) AC END_TEXT SPECIAL 164 ; Stone Tower You hold up the cross so that its shadow falls upon the redcap. With a terrifying shriek, the redcap writhes in agony and collapses quivering onto a pile of bones. With its dying breath, it says, "The dwarf has the QAPP." Then, it collapses in upon itself, and vanishes. END_SPECIAL ROOM 164 ; Stone Tower Stone Tower SOUTH 40 ; Grassy area END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 164 ; Stone Tower A blood-red cap lying upon a heap of bones is all that remains of the Redcap. END_ROOM_DESCR NOUN 281 ; REMEDIAL INVESTIGATION INVESTIGATION REMEDIAL There is a Remedial Investigation here. LOCATION 164 ; Stone Tower POINTS 40 READABLE NOUN_SYNONYMS INVESTIGATION BOOK RI END_NOUN NOUN_DESCR 281 ; REMEDIAL INVESTIGATION This is big volume with a large number of pages. It appears to have been written by Vigilant Engineers, Inc. END_NOUN_DESCR TEXT 281 ; REMEDIAL INVESTIGATION Remedial Investigation Report (RI) LI END_TEXT SPECIAL 165 ; Park You threaten the torred with the steel paring knife, and he cringes in abject terror. As you watch, he slinks away and disappears from view. END_SPECIAL ROOM 165 ; Park Park NORTH 85 ; Park EAST 81 ; Park WEST 83 ; Park NORTHEAST 86 ; Park NORTHWEST 84 ; Park END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 165 ; Park You are alone with the dark stone bench in the cool darkness that the evergreens cast upon your face and hands. END_ROOM_DESCR NOUN 280 ; THIN HASP HASP THIN There is a thin HASP here. LOCATION 165 ; Park POINTS 40 READABLE NOUN_SYNONYMS HASP BOOK HASP END_NOUN TEXT 280 ; THIN HASP Health and Safety Plan (HASP) XE END_TEXT SPECIAL 166 ; Entrance - U.S. EPA The guard glances your way. You hold up your U.S. EPA badge, and he casually waves you past his desk and goes back to his reading. END_SPECIAL ROOM 166 ; Entrance - U.S. EPA Entrance - U.S. EPA NORTH 90 ; U.S. Environmental Protection SOUTH 138 ; Supermarket SOUTHEAST 93 ; USEPA SOUTHWEST 92 ; USEPA END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 166 ; Entrance - U.S. EPA The guard has waved you by, so you are free to enter the U.S. EPA. There are doors to the north, southeast, and southwest. END_ROOM_DESCR ROOM 167 ; USEPA USEPA WEST 95 ; USEPA NORTHEAST 116 ; USEPA SOUTHEAST 107 ; USEPA END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 167 ; USEPA You are standing in a long, winding corridor. It is dimly lit. The paint on the walls is a dingy off-white. The flickering phosphorescent lights give the hallway a headachy surreal look. END_ROOM_DESCR HELP 167 ; USEPA You are in the U.S. EPA. To find your way around will require much patience or a call to Jeff Robinson of PALADIN ASSOCIATES, INC. to request a map to guide you. END_HELP_DESCR ROOM 168 ; Park Park NORTH 85 ; Park EAST 81 ; Park WEST 83 ; Park NORTHEAST 86 ; Park NORTHWEST 84 ; Park SPECIAL 165 ; Park KEY 215 ; KNIFE ROOM_SYNONYMS CHANGE_LOCATION SHOW DI END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 168 ; Park Amazed, you see that a small, dwarfish-looking creature has appeared on the bench. He has an extremely mischievous look on his face. He is staring at you. As you look, he dances about on the bench and recites the following verse. I am a torred, as stealthy as can be. What can I do for you, or you for me? Thus saying, he stands upon his head, awaiting your answer. END_ROOM_DESCR SPECIAL 170 ; Gully You cautiously creep up to the bridge and place the gold colored chocolate coins on the ground a few yards from the underside of the bridge. Not being too bright, and being VERY greedy, the troll ventures out to pick up the coins. For a moment, your plan to lure him into the sun is in jeopardy, as a cloud happens along and blocks the sun's rays. You hold your breath and pray that he doesn't see you. The troll is carrying his chest of gold, and as he stoops to pick up the coins, he places the chest on the ground. Just then, the cloud moves away, and a brilliant beam of sunlight catches him dead-on. With a basso profoundo shriek, suddenly cut off, he stiffens and turns to stone. END_SPECIAL ROOM 170 ; Gully Gully UP 39 ; Stone bridge END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 170 ; Gully The troll's inert, bent form casts a shadow V across the gully. He still smells terrible, but is no longer a threat to you. END_ROOM_DESCR NOUN 299 ; SMALL CHEST CHEST SMALL There is a small chest here. LOCATION 170 ; Gully POINTS 20 WEIGHT 3 SIZE 3 END_NOUN NOUN_DESCR 299 ; SMALL CHEST The chest is open and is filled to overflowing with shiny gold coins. END_NOUN_DESCR ROOM 171 ; Limbo Limbo END_ROOM ROOM_DESCR 171 ; Limbo You are floating in total blackness. Then, you perceive someone trying to communicate with you. You strain to hear. END_ROOM_DESCR REM NOW LIST NOWHERE ITEMS AND CREATURES NOUN 213 ; STONE SIGN SIGN STONE This is the corporate sign for Vigilant Engineers, Inc. LOCATION 0 ; Nowhere UNMOVABLE END_NOUN NOUN 220 ; ORIENTAL RUG RUG ORIENTAL This is an oriental rug. It looks expensive. LOCATION 0 ; Nowhere END_NOUN NOUN 228 ; CHERRY TABLE TABLE CHERRY This is an expensive looking cherry cocktail table. LOCATION 0 ; Nowhere END_NOUN NOUN 229 ; COMFORTABLE CHAIRS CHAIRS COMFORTABLE These chairs look like they would be perfect for watching sports. LOCATION 0 ; Nowhere NOUN_SYNONYMS CHAIRS CHAIR END_NOUN NOUN 231 ; EXECUTIVE DESK DESK EXECUTIVE This is a very expensive executive style desk with a high back, leather chair. LOCATION 0 ; Nowhere UNMOVABLE END_NOUN NOUN 232 ; VARIOUS BOOKS BOOKS VARIOUS There are various books here LOCATION 0 ; Nowhere END_NOUN NOUN 233 ; HEAVY JOURNALS JOURNALS HEAVY There are some mighty weighty journals here. LOCATION 0 ; Nowhere END_NOUN NOUN 234 ; HAIRY TROLL TROLL HAIRY This is a large, malodorous, hirsute troll. LOCATION 0 ; Nowhere END_NOUN NOUN 235 ; MINIATURE FAN FAN MINIATURE This is a small, battery powered fan. LOCATION 0 ; Nowhere END_NOUN NOUN 236 ; THIS IS A COLLECTION O REDSKINS REDSKINS THIS IS A COLLECTION O LOCATION 0 LOCATION 0 ; Nowhere NOUN_SYNONYMS REDSKINS PENCILS BLOTTER LAMP SHARPENER TELEPHONE PHOTOGRAPH END_NOUN NOUN 238 ; SMALL HNU'S HNU'S SMALL These are HNu's to measure volatile organic compounds. LOCATION 0 ; Nowhere NOUN_SYNONYMS HNU'S HNU HNU'S HNU END_NOUN NOUN 239 ; SAMPLE BOTTLES BOTTLES SAMPLE These are empty, mostly clean sample bottles. LOCATION 0 ; Nowhere NOUN_SYNONYMS BOTTLES BOTTLE END_NOUN NOUN 240 ; GAS CHROMATOGRAPHS CHROMATOGRAPHS GAS These are computerized, portable gas chromatographs. LOCATION 0 ; Nowhere NOUN_SYNONYMS CHROMATOGRAPHS GC GC CHROMATOGRAPH END_NOUN NOUN 241 ; LARGE COOLERS COOLERS LARGE This are ordinary Coleman type coolers for transporting samples. LOCATION 0 ; Nowhere NOUN_SYNONYMS COOLERS COOLER END_NOUN NOUN 242 ; FULL-FACE RESPIRATORS RESPIRATORS FULL-FACE These are full-face respirators. LOCATION 0 ; Nowhere NOUN_SYNONYMS RESPIRATORS RESPIRATOR END_NOUN NOUN 243 ; RIPE BLACKBERRIES BLACKBERRIES RIPE These are ripe blackberries. LOCATION 0 ; Nowhere END_NOUN NOUN 244 ; RIPE RASPBERRIES RASPBERRIES RIPE These are ripe raspberries. LOCATION 0 ; Nowhere END_NOUN NOUN 245 ; LONG SWORD SWORD LONG This is a long sword stuck into a stone. LOCATION 0 ; Nowhere END_NOUN NOUN 246 ; GOLD NUGGETS NUGGETS GOLD These are large nuggets of gold. LOCATION 0 ; Nowhere NOUN_SYNONYMS NUGGETS GOLD END_NOUN NOUN 247 ; UNRIPE ELDERBERRIES ELDERBERRIES UNRIPE These are inedible unripe elderberries. LOCATION 0 ; Nowhere END_NOUN NOUN 249 ; GATEWAY COMPUTER COMPUTER GATEWAY This is a 486 66MHz Gateway computer. A fine machine! LOCATION 0 ; Nowhere END_NOUN NOUN 250 ; FRAMED PAINTING PAINTING FRAMED This is a painting in an expensive frame. It is very beautiful. LOCATION 0 ; Nowhere END_NOUN NOUN 253 ; HUMMING DEHUMIDIFIER DEHUMIDIFIER HUMMING This is a humming dehumidifier. Without it, the cellar would be musty. LOCATION 0 ; Nowhere END_NOUN NOUN 254 ; VARIOUS ROBES ROBES VARIOUS This is a variety of arcane robes. They remind you of witches. LOCATION 0 ; Nowhere NOUN_SYNONYMS ROBES ROBE GARMENT CLOAK ROBE END_NOUN NOUN 255 ; VARIOUS HATS HATS VARIOUS This is a variety of many types of unusual hats. LOCATION 0 ; Nowhere NOUN_SYNONYMS HATS HAT HAT END_NOUN NOUN 256 ; DEADLY WEAPONS WEAPONS DEADLY This is an assortment of deadly-looking weapons. LOCATION 0 ; Nowhere NOUN_SYNONYMS WEAPONS SWORDS DAGGERS SPEARS CLAYMORES BROADSWORDS SCIMITARS HALBERDS END_NOUN NOUN 257 ; GUINNESS STOUT STOUT GUINNESS This is Guinness Stout. LOCATION 0 ; Nowhere NOUN_SYNONYMS STOUT BEER ALE BEER ALE GUINNESS STOUT END_NOUN NOUN 258 ; IRISH FLAG FLAG IRISH This is a small Irish flag. It is orange, white, and green. LOCATION 0 ; Nowhere END_NOUN NOUN 259 ; IRELAND PHOTOGRAPHS PHOTOGRAPHS IRELAND There are many photographs of the Irish countryside here. LOCATION 0 ; Nowhere NOUN_SYNONYMS PHOTOGRAPHS PHOTOGRAPHS PHOTOS PHOTOS PICTURE PICTURES END_NOUN NOUN 260 ; WATER FOUNTAIN FOUNTAIN WATER This is a gold-plated water fountain. LOCATION 0 ; Nowhere END_NOUN NOUN 262 ; COLORED FISH FISH COLORED There are many brightly colored fish here. LOCATION 0 ; Nowhere NOUN_SYNONYMS FISH FISHES END_NOUN NOUN 263 ; AMERICAN FLAG FLAG AMERICAN This is a small United States of America flag. LOCATION 0 ; Nowhere END_NOUN NOUN 264 ; BRONZED SHOES SHOES BRONZED These are Dan Quayle's size 11 bronzed baby shoes. LOCATION 0 ; Nowhere END_NOUN NOUN 265 ; POLITICIAN'S PHOTOGRAPHS PHOTOGRAPHS POLITICIAN'S These are photographs of old Republican politicians. LOCATION 0 ; Nowhere NOUN_SYNONYMS PHOTOGRAPHS PHOTOS PHOTOGRAPHS END_NOUN NOUN 266 ; BLACK TELEPHONE TELEPHONE BLACK This is an ordinary black telephone. LOCATION 0 ; Nowhere NOUN_SYNONYMS TELEPHONE PHONE END_NOUN NOUN 267 ; GREEN SHAMROCKS SHAMROCKS GREEN These are green shamrocks of all sizes. Erin go braugh! LOCATION 0 ; Nowhere NOUN_SYNONYMS SHAMROCKS SHAMROCK CLOVER SHAMROCK END_NOUN NOUN 268 ; WOODEN LEPRECHAUNS LEPRECHAUNS WOODEN This is a bewildering array of cute wooden leprechauns. LOCATION 0 ; Nowhere NOUN_SYNONYMS LEPRECHAUNS LEPRECHAUN LEPRECHAUN END_NOUN NOUN 269 ; SWIMMING POOL POOL SWIMMING This is an ordinary, olympic-size swimming pool. LOCATION 0 ; Nowhere END_NOUN NOUN 270 ; LARGE GLOBE GLOBE LARGE This is an unremarkable globe of the Earth. LOCATION 0 ; Nowhere END_NOUN NOUN 271 ; COMPUTER TERMINALS TERMINALS COMPUTER These are many non-descript computer terminals. LOCATION 0 ; Nowhere NOUN_SYNONYMS TERMINALS TERMINAL TERMINAL END_NOUN NOUN 272 ; VARIOUS STATUES STATUES VARIOUS These are original statues by master sculptors. LOCATION 0 ; Nowhere NOUN_SYNONYMS STATUES STATUE STATUE SCULPTURE SCULPTURES END_NOUN NOUN 273 ; OPEN CHESTS CHESTS OPEN These are many chests, all overflowing with gold and gems. LOCATION 0 ; Nowhere NOUN_SYNONYMS CHESTS SILVER GEMS JEWELS END_NOUN NOUN 274 ; STROBE LIGHT LIGHT STROBE This is a working strobe light from the Sixties. LOCATION 0 ; Nowhere END_NOUN NOUN 276 ; PSYCHEDELIC POSTERS POSTERS PSYCHEDELIC This is an eye-maddening collection of day-glo posters. LOCATION 0 ; Nowhere NOUN_SYNONYMS POSTERS POSTER POSTER END_NOUN NOUN 277 ; SMOKING HOOKAH HOOKAH SMOKING This is a hookah with marijuana in it. Don't inhale! LOCATION 0 ; Nowhere NOUN_SYNONYMS HOOKAH PIPE PIPE BONG BONG HOOKAH END_NOUN NOUN 278 ; PERSIAN RUG RUG PERSIAN This is a Persian rug. It reminds you of Aladdin and Ali Baba. LOCATION 0 ; Nowhere END_NOUN NOUN 282 ; JACK DANIELS DANIELS JACK This is Jack Daniels whiskey. It is very potent. LOCATION 0 ; Nowhere NOUN_SYNONYMS DANIELS BOURBON WHISKEY LIQUOR END_NOUN NOUN 283 ; SMELLY INCENSE INCENSE SMELLY This is incense, obnoxiously burning away. LOCATION 0 ; Nowhere END_NOUN NOUN 284 ; BODILESS COFFIN COFFIN BODILESS This is a coffin without a body. LOCATION 0 ; Nowhere END_NOUN NOUN 286 ; VARIOUS INSTRUMENTS INSTRUMENTS VARIOUS This is a variety of musical instruments. LOCATION 0 ; Nowhere NOUN_SYNONYMS INSTRUMENTS INSTRUMENT INSTRUMENT END_NOUN NOUN 287 ; TOPOGRAPHICAL MAPS MAPS TOPOGRAPHICAL There are a variety of topographical maps scattered here and there. LOCATION 0 ; Nowhere END_NOUN NOUN 288 ; WOODEN TABLE TABLE WOODEN This is an antique phone stand. It looks very valuable. LOCATION 0 ; Nowhere END_NOUN NOUN 289 ; CARDBOARD BOXES BOXES CARDBOARD These are heavy boxes filled with photocopy paper. LOCATION 0 ; Nowhere NOUN_SYNONYMS BOXES BOX END_NOUN NOUN 291 ; TRICKY TORRED TORRED TRICKY This is a mischievious, tricky torred. LOCATION 0 ; Nowhere END_NOUN