INTRODUCTION
Ah, the joys of computer journalism.  Jet-setting around the world,
huge amounts of dosh, instantly attractive to members of the opposite
sex...
At least that's what you thought when you decided to become a freelance
reviewer of PC programs.
How quickly you were disillusioned!
Fortunately you managed to get on the books of What Personal Computer?
However work has been short recently and as you sit at your desk you
wonder how you'll pay your mortgage and escape being thrown onto the
harsh London streets...
(Look, if this stuff was good enough for audiences of Victorian melodramas
it's good enough for you!)
If only, if only there was a ray of hope.  If only the phone would ring!
END_INTRO

MAXIMUM_SCORE 300

ROOM 2
Study
SOUTH 3
EXIT 3
END_ROOM

ROOM_DESCR 2
You are in your study.  Everywhere piles of papers and
programs fill the floor.  Somewhere among all the chaos is
your desk.  The hallway lies to the South.
END_ROOM_DESCR

HELP 2
Do you really expect help here in your own home?
END_HELP_DESCR

ROOM 3
Hallway
NORTH 2
SOUTH 4
EAST 5
LIGHT 0
END_ROOM

ROOM_DESCR 3
This is the hallway of your flat.  The carpet needs cleaning
but apart from that you notice nothing of interest.  The
hall continues to the East, your study is to the North and
the bedroom lies to the South.
END_ROOM_DESCR

HELP 3
Do you really expect help here in your own home?
END_HELP_DESCR

ROOM 4
Bedroom
NORTH 3
EXIT 3
LIGHT 0
END_ROOM

ROOM_DESCR 4
As you step into the bedroom the chaos almost overcomes you. 
Nothing strange in that.  Tidiness is for wimps... or at least
people with time to attend to everyday tasks.  The only exit is
a door to the hallway in the North.
END_ROOM_DESCR

HELP 4
Do you really expect help here in your own home?  Oh, all right
then!  Where do you normally look for missing objects in a bedroom?
END_HELP_DESCR

ROOM 5
Hallway
SOUTH 6
EAST 7
WEST 3
EXIT 7
LIGHT 0
END_ROOM

ROOM_DESCR 5
The carpet doesn't get any cleaner at this end of the hall.  
The front door is to the East.  Next to it is a small shelf.  
The hallway continues West while the front door of the flat is
to the East.  There's a door to your kitchen to the South and
the bathroom is to the North.
END_ROOM_DESCR

HELP 5
Do you really expect help here in your own home?
END_HELP_DESCR

ROOM 6
Kitchen
NORTH 5
EXIT 5
END_ROOM

ROOM_DESCR 6
Piles of greasy plates. rotting bread by the toaster,
takeaway containers in the bin... Ah, yes, this must be the
kitchen!  The only way out of this health hazard is the door
to the North.
END_ROOM_DESCR

HELP 6
Do you really expect help here in your own home?
END_HELP_DESCR

ROOM 7
Garden
EAST 8
WEST 5
END_ROOM

ROOM_DESCR 7
A discarded crisp packet appears to grow from the twisted and
sooty stem of a rose bush.  Such are the joys of living on a main
road.  You can continue onto the street in the East or return to
your front door to the West.
END_ROOM_DESCR

HELP 7
Well, you could try Yellow Pages for a gardener... but no help's
available for the adventure here unless you fancy doing a little
gardening of your own.
END_HELP_DESCR

ROOM 8
Pavement outside flat
NORTH 9
SOUTH 11
EAST 10
WEST 7
END_ROOM

ROOM_DESCR 8
How you've come to love this patch of pavement outside your
door.  A good thing as failure to pay your mortgage will
mean you're sleeping out here!  The road continues North and
South while your garden lies to the West and to the East
is the section of road where you park your car.
END_ROOM_DESCR

HELP 8
Look right, look left, look right again...
END_HELP_DESCR

ROOM 9
Street
SOUTH 8
END_ROOM

ROOM_DESCR 9
You proceed in a northerly direction along the street.  A grey
mist rolls in from the cliffs even though just moments
ago it was a bright sunny day.  The cry of gulls becomes a
banshee wail.  The ground becomes uncertain underfoot.
Something cold and slimy brushes against your brow.  With
terror in your heart you realise you've strayed into the
wrong adventure.  Head South to return to your rightful location!
END_ROOM_DESCR

HELP 9
Turn again, Twitington!
END_HELP_DESCR

ROOM 10
Roadway
WEST 8
END_ROOM

ROOM_DESCR 10
This is the space where you'd expect to find your car.
Unfortunately you had to sell it last month to pay
your tax bill (see, we said times were hard!).  A harsh wind
blows litter along the gutter.  The pavement is to the West.
END_ROOM_DESCR

HELP 10
You could try public transport.
END_HELP_DESCR

ROOM 11
Street
NORTH 8
SOUTH 12
END_ROOM

ROOM_DESCR 11
The street between your flat and the high street ascends gently.
Old newspapers and other suburban detritus swirl around your
feet.  Your flat is to the North while the beginning of the 
High Street is to the South.
END_ROOM_DESCR

ROOM 12
High Street
NORTH 11
SOUTH 15
WEST 13
ENTER 13
END_ROOM

ROOM_DESCR 12
You sometimes wonder how a suburban high street can contain so
many pointless shops.  An alien landing in your particular
enclave of London would thing that its inhabitants only ate fast
food and lived in pine wardrobes decorated with stick on
Garfields!  The street to your flat lies to the North while the
High Street continues to the South.  To the West is the entrance
to your bank.
END_ROOM_DESCR

ROOM 13
Bank Lobby
EAST 12
WEST 14
EXIT 12
END_ROOM

ROOM_DESCR 13
The lobby of the bank is quiet and dimly lit.  A large display of 
posters and leaflets explains how keen its caring manager is to lend
you thousands of pounds at only ten percent above the normal
interest rate... that is if you already have several thousand pounds
doing nothing in one of his accounts.  You, needless to say, do not!
To the West are the cashiers while the High Street lies to the East.
END_ROOM_DESCR

HELP 13
I can understand why you're puzzled.  There's no queue here and what
else can you do in a bank?
END_HELP_DESCR

ROOM 14
Bank Cashiers
EAST 13
EXIT 12
END_ROOM

ROOM_DESCR 14
Tough glass windows separate you from the cashiers.  Considering
how much you're paying in interest every month it's probably to
stop them robbing you of more.  The lobby and exit are to the East.
END_ROOM_DESCR

HELP 14
Haven't you ever been in a bank before?
END_HELP_DESCR

ROOM 15
High Street
NORTH 12
SOUTH 18
WEST 16
ENTER 16
END_ROOM

ROOM_DESCR 15
The High Street becomes slightly run down at this end of town.
The odd wino mumbles to himself as he passes by.  Just another
example of a caring society re-integrating its mentally ill into
the community!  The posher end of the High Street is to the North
while to the South the shops come to an end.  To the West is a 
betting office.
END_ROOM_DESCR

ROOM 16
Betting Office
EAST 15
WEST 17
EXIT 15
END_ROOM

ROOM_DESCR 16
Once your eyes penetrate the smoke you recognise the luxurious
surroundings of the bookies.  Cigarette ends are ground into
the carpet among discarded betting slips. Banks of televisions
relay the odds to the waiting punters.  The walls are lined with
racing papers.  To the West is the counter while the door to the
High Street lies to the East.
END_ROOM_DESCR

ROOM 17
Betting Office
EAST 16
EXIT 15
END_ROOM

ROOM_DESCR 17
The air is slightly clearer by the counter of the betting office.
A bored looking clerk is reading another searing example of
investigative journalism in that uncompromising publication Hello!
The rest of the shop and the exit lie to the East.
END_ROOM_DESCR

ROOM 18
Street
NORTH 15
SOUTH 19
WEST 20
ENTER 20
END_ROOM

ROOM_DESCR 18
The last few shops of the High Street dwindle away to be replaced
by Victorian houses which have been converted into flats.  The
High Street is to the North while the road continues to the South
and to the West is a tube station.
END_ROOM_DESCR

HELP 18
I'm certainly not going to suggest you take the tube...
at least not unless London Underground pays me for the advertising!
END_HELP_DESCR

ROOM 19
Very Long Road
NORTH 18
END_ROOM

ROOM_DESCR 19
The road continues for a very long time.  Indeed it seems to go
on forever.  Eventually you reach the sea but that doesn't stop
you.  You continue trudging south until the temperature becomes
tropical... 

(Hint: perhaps this is just the my way of telling you that you've
gone far enough by road.  If you've stared at this screen long
enough, go North.)
END_ROOM_DESCR

HELP 19
Boy, do you need help if you didn't take the hint.  Go North,
take the tube to the software company and...  Look, why are you
playing this game if you want me to do it all for you?
END_HELP_DESCR

ROOM 20
Tube Ticket Hall
EAST 18
DOWN 21
END_ROOM

ROOM_DESCR 20
The tube ticket hall was probably once a gem of art deco
architecture but today it's just a run-down mess.  The two ticket
windows are shut; a sign explains it's due to staff shortages.
However a hi-tech ticket machine takes up most of the room
beside them.  The street lies to the East and there's an
escalator Down to the platform.
END_ROOM_DESCR

HELP 20
Fare dodging is an offence.
END_HELP_DESCR

ROOM 21
Escalator
UP 20
DOWN 22
END_ROOM

ROOM_DESCR 21
You stand on the escalator for a while until you realise you
don't seem to be going anywhere.  Yes, true to form it's out of
order, just as it has been for the last eighteen months.  Though
anything resembling exercise is offensive you decide to walk.
The ticket hall is Up, the platform Down.
END_ROOM_DESCR

ROOM 22
Tube Platform
UP 21
END_ROOM

ROOM_DESCR 22
The long, empty platform stretches away to either side.  On one
wall there's a chocolate machine and next to it a space where a
rubbish bin should be fitted and a pile of litter.  Above your head
is a dot matrix train indicator.  To the South is the track.  
An escalator leads Up to the ticket hall.
END_ROOM_DESCR

ROOM 23
Bathroom
SOUTH 5
EXIT 5
END_ROOM

ROOM_DESCR 23
The green tiles and matching basin, tub and toilet indicate
that the bathroom was decorated during your avocado phase.  And
the dripping tap, peeling paper and sagging ceiling tiles remind
you why you gave up diy.!  To the South lies the hallway.
END_ROOM_DESCR

HELP 23
Do you really expect help in your own home?
END_HELP_DESCR

ROOM 24
Bathroom 
SOUTH 5
UP 25
EXIT 5
END_ROOM

ROOM_DESCR 24
The green tiles and matching basin, tub and toilet indicate
that the bathroom was decorated during your avocado phase.  And
the dripping tap, peeling paper and sagging ceiling tiles remind
you why you gave up d.i.y.!  To the South lies the hallway while
the stepladder allows you to go Up.
END_ROOM_DESCR

HELP 24
Maybe hitting a higher plane will help.
END_HELP_DESCR

ROOM 25
Bathroom Ceiling
DOWN 24
SCORE 10
END_ROOM

ROOM_DESCR 25
Up here near the ceiling the disrepair becomes more obvious.  Mildew
is growing around the edges of the polystyrene tiles and there's a 
nasty looking loose wire in the light socket.  You rock slightly on
the ladder... better act fast.
END_ROOM_DESCR

ROOM 26
Central Line Carriage
ROOM_SYNONYMS NORTH EXIT
END_ROOM

ROOM_DESCR 26
Surprisingly for this time of day the tube carriage is almost empty
and you slump into a seat.  Above the seats opposite are a map and
panels of advertisements.
END_ROOM_DESCR

HELP 26
Sit and wait.
END_HELP_DESCR

ROOM 27
Central Line Westbound
NORTH 32
EXIT 32
END_ROOM

ROOM_DESCR 27
You stand on the Westbound Platform of the Central line.  To your
North is a tunnel leading to the platforms for the Jubilee Line.
END_ROOM_DESCR

HELP 27
Changing platforms may prove an a-maz-ing experience!
END_HELP_DESCR

ROOM 28
Tube Tunnel
NORTH 35
SOUTH 36
EAST 39
WEST 28
END_ROOM

ROOM_DESCR 28
Distant sounds of commuters echo as the endless tube station corridors
wind off North, South, East and West.
END_ROOM_DESCR

HELP 28
When I started work as an adventurer down the Colossal Caves we used
to find some way of differentiating identical locations.
END_HELP_DESCR

ROOM 29
Tube Tunnel
NORTH 34
SOUTH 38
EAST 31
WEST 31
END_ROOM

ROOM_DESCR 29
Distant sounds of commuters echo as the endless tube station corridors
wind off North, South, East and West.
END_ROOM_DESCR

HELP 29
When I started work as an adventurer down the Colossal Caves we used
to find some way of differentiating identical locations.
END_HELP_DESCR

ROOM 30
Tube Tunnel
NORTH 34
SOUTH 37
EAST 33
WEST 36
END_ROOM

ROOM_DESCR 30
Distant sounds of commuters echo as the endless tube station corridors
wind off North, South, East and West.
END_ROOM_DESCR

HELP 30
When I started work as an adventurer down the Colossal Caves we used
to find some way of differentiating identical locations.
END_HELP_DESCR

ROOM 31
Jubilee Line Southbound
EAST 36
EXIT 36
END_ROOM

ROOM_DESCR 31
You stand on the Southbound Platform of the Jubilee line.  At last
you've reached a platform but unfortunately it's not the one you want!
To your East is a tunnel leading to the platforms for the Central Line.
END_ROOM_DESCR

HELP 31
Changing platforms may help... unless you're already on the right one!
END_HELP_DESCR

ROOM 32
Tube Tunnel
NORTH 28
SOUTH 32
EAST 30
WEST 34
END_ROOM

ROOM_DESCR 32
Distant sounds of commuters echo as the endless tube station corridors
wind off North, South, East and West.
END_ROOM_DESCR

HELP 32
When I started work as an adventurer down the Colossal Caves we used
to find some way of differentiating identical locations.
END_HELP_DESCR

ROOM 33
Tube Tunnel
NORTH 38
SOUTH 35
EAST 32
WEST 30
END_ROOM

ROOM_DESCR 33
Distant sounds of commuters echo as the endless tube station corridors
wind off North, South, East and West.
END_ROOM_DESCR

HELP 33
When I started work as an adventurer down the Colossal Caves we used
to find some way of differentiating identical locations.
END_HELP_DESCR

ROOM 34
Tube Tunnel
NORTH 38
SOUTH 33
EAST 35
WEST 27
END_ROOM

ROOM_DESCR 34
Distant sounds of commuters echo as the endless tube station corridors
wind off North, South, East and West.
END_ROOM_DESCR

HELP 34
When I started work as an adventurer down the Colossal Caves we used
to find some way of differentiating identical locations.
END_HELP_DESCR

ROOM 35
Central Line Eastbound
WEST 37
EXIT 37
END_ROOM

ROOM_DESCR 35
You stand on the Eastbound Platform of the Central line.  At last
you've reached a platform but unfortunately it's not the one you want!
To your West is a tunnel leading to the platforms for the Jubilee Line.
END_ROOM_DESCR

HELP 35
Changing platforms may help... unless you're already on the right one!
END_HELP_DESCR

ROOM 36
Tube Tunnel
NORTH 29
SOUTH 29
EAST 29
WEST 32
END_ROOM

ROOM_DESCR 36
Distant sounds of commuters echo as the endless tube station corridors
wind off North, South, East and West.
END_ROOM_DESCR

HELP 36
When I started work as an adventurer down the Colossal Caves we used
to find some way of differentiating identical locations.
END_HELP_DESCR

ROOM 37
Tube Tunnel
NORTH 27
SOUTH 28
EAST 28
WEST 34
END_ROOM

ROOM_DESCR 37
Distant sounds of commuters echo as the endless tube station corridors
wind off North, South, East and West.
END_ROOM_DESCR

HELP 37
When I started work as an adventurer down the Colossal Caves we used
to find some way of differentiating identical locations.
END_HELP_DESCR

ROOM 38
Tube Tunnel
NORTH 30
SOUTH 32
EAST 33
WEST 31
END_ROOM

ROOM_DESCR 38
Distant sounds of commuters echo as the endless tube station corridors
wind off North, South, East and West.
END_ROOM_DESCR

HELP 38
When I started work as an adventurer down the Colossal Caves we used
to find some way of differentiating identical locations.
END_HELP_DESCR

ROOM 39
Jubilee Line Northbound
SOUTH 34
EXIT 34
END_ROOM

ROOM_DESCR 39
You stand on the Northbound Platform of the Jubilee line.  At last
you've reached a platform but unfortunately it's not the one you want!
To your South is a tunnel leading to the platforms for the Central Line
while a train lies to the North.
END_ROOM_DESCR

HELP 39
Changing platforms may help... unless you're already on the right one!
END_HELP_DESCR

ROOM 40
Jubilee Line Carriage
END_ROOM

ROOM_DESCR 40
Unlike the previous train, this one is crowded.  Bored business people
and mother's with irritable children all pretend not to look at each
other.  How can so many people be packed into such a small place and
still not communicated with each other?
END_ROOM_DESCR

HELP 40
If there's a seat free I'd save my legs.
END_HELP_DESCR

ROOM 41
Destination Platform
NORTH 42
END_ROOM

ROOM_DESCR 41
You step onto the tube station platform.  From here's it's only a short
distance to the software house.  The exit is to the North while the
rails are to the south... but you wouldn't be advised to go that way
as there's no train there!
END_ROOM_DESCR

ROOM 42
Ticket Barriers
NORTH 43
EAST 55
SOUTH 41
EXIT 43
END_ROOM

ROOM_DESCR 42
You can remember the days when there were real, life ticket collectors
at tube stations, always ready to clip the ear of some school kid trying
to sneak past without paying.  Nowadays they have automated barriers, 
always ready to deliver a nasty blow to the midriff if you don't get\
through them fast enough.  So much for computerisation. 
To the South is the platform while to the North is the street.
A mysterious sign points to the East: "Back the way you came."
END_ROOM_DESCR

HELP 42
"Get a ticket, not a criminal record."
END_HELP_DESCR

ROOM 43
High Street
SOUTH 48
EAST 44
END_ROOM

ROOM_DESCR 43
Unlike your own little patch of turf... err, concrete, this are of
the capital has be prettily gentrified.  Small groups of shops and
the odd office development are to the East while to West there's a
convenient dead end that prevents the game designer from having to
include the whole of the London A to Z.  To the South are the
tube ticket barriers.
END_ROOM_DESCR

ROOM 44
High Street
NORTH 46
SOUTH 45
EAST 49
WEST 43
END_ROOM

ROOM_DESCR 44
Now you look more carefully the gentrified High Street isn't that much
better than your own.  It's just that they have a Jacket Potato You Adore
while you endure a Spud You Like.  To the North is the black and gold
fascia of a trendy record shop while an antique shop is to your South.
The High Street continues to East while the station is to the West.
END_ROOM_DESCR

HELP 44
You really shouldn't go shopping but...
END_HELP_DESCR

ROOM 45
Antique Shop
NORTH 44
EXIT 44
END_ROOM

ROOM_DESCR 45
The 'Olde Curiositie' shop is so dark and dusty you think it must
have been there since Dickens was a lad... that is until you notice 
the spray can of Instant Cobweb.  You also notice that the prices are
slightly more than in Dicken's day; in fact they're outrageous.
At least there appears to be nobody around to hassle you while you
do your business or exit to the North.
END_ROOM_DESCR

HELP 45
A particular piece catches your eye and that's the only direction I
can give you.
END_HELP_DESCR

ROOM 46
Record Shop
SOUTH 44
EXIT 44
END_ROOM

ROOM_DESCR 46
As you open the door to the trendy record shop your ears are assailed
by what sounds like a three year old trying to put an LP onto a record
deck... until you realise it's actually the latest in scratching.  The 
is full of CDs because vinyl and even cassettes are just too antiquated
for today's listener.  The street lies to the South and there's a
door behind the counter to the North.
END_ROOM_DESCR

HELP 46
"Yes," says the trendy assistant, "That was an album by the Insects
or whatever they were called, wasn't it?  John, Paul, Mick, Dozy
and the other one - right?  I'm sure we've got a copy in the junk
room at the back only it's not come back into fashion so I won't
admit to it."
END_HELP_DESCR

ROOM 47
Record Shop Store Room
SOUTH 46
EXIT 47
END_ROOM

ROOM_DESCR 47
The store room is full of old records and tapes by artistes nobody
never played... such as Bad Finger, The Rubettes and Kylie and
Jason (if only!).  Any minute you expect to run into Tony Blackburn.
The exit is to the South.
END_ROOM_DESCR

HELP 47
If you can work this one out for yourself it's a record... or at 
least a cassette.
END_HELP_DESCR

ROOM 48
Tube Journey
NORTH 43
SOUTH 22
END_ROOM

ROOM_DESCR 48
Rather than include the complete London tube system we now give you the
opportunity to take a tube back to your starting point, should you feel
the need to return.  However it will cost you points.  Should you wish
to return to the start of your tube journey go South, otherwise return
to the High Street in the West.
END_ROOM_DESCR

ROOM 49
High Street
NORTH 51
SOUTH 50
WEST 44
END_ROOM

ROOM_DESCR 49
As the High Street comes to an end there is a an office building,
to the North.  Opposite it, in the the South (for those of you who
flunked elementary geography) is Ben's Bargain Emporium, a satisfying
oasis of tack in this yuppie haven.  To the East is a taxi rank while 
the High Street gets poncey again to the West.
END_ROOM_DESCR

ROOM 50
Ben's Bargain Emporium
NORTH 49
END_ROOM

ROOM_DESCR 50
As the sign outside proclaims: 'We don't sell any old crap!'  No,
Ben specialises in new crap.  He has Middle Aged Mutant Hero Turtle
T-shirts.  He has Channel Number 5 ('as worn by Chunnel workers').
He has job lots of every kind at prices just too good to resist!
It really is an Aladdin's cave... but only if Aladdin is addicted
to cheap Far Eastern rip-offs.  The door is to the North.
END_ROOM_DESCR

ROOM 51
Office Lobby
NORTH 52
SOUTH 49
EXIT 49
END_ROOM

ROOM_DESCR 51
The lobby to the office building is sparsely decorated with a lift
to North.  The High Street is to South in case you want to do any
last minute shopping.
END_ROOM_DESCR

ROOM 52
Express Lift
SOUTH 51
EXIT 51
END_ROOM

ROOM_DESCR 52
The lift is shiny and stainless steel and inevitably contains a
selection of graffiti.  You sometimes wonder if there are specially
trained squads of elevator defacers sent out to provide reading
between the floors.  Would Oscar Wilde be scribbling aphorisms in lifts
all over London if he was alive today?  Why are you standing there
pondering such pointless thoughts?
There is a control panel with operating instructions on the wall.
The doors are to the South.
END_ROOM_DESCR

HELP 52
Most people find pushing buttons helps with lifts!
END_HELP_DESCR

ROOM 53
Taxi Rank
WEST 49
END_ROOM

ROOM_DESCR 53
There is a taxi rank at this end of the High Street.  And we all know
what that means, don't we?  Right!  There's not a taxi to be seen!  The
street itself lies to the West.
END_ROOM_DESCR

HELP 53
Try coming back later when you actually need a taxi.  There's sure
to be one then. 
END_HELP_DESCR

ROOM 54
Express Lift
SOUTH 56
EXIT 56
END_ROOM

ROOM_DESCR 54
The lift is shiny and stainless steel and inevitably contains a
selection of graffiti.  You sometimes wonder if there are specially
trained squads of elevator defacers sent out to provide reading
between the floors.  Would Oscar Wilde be scribbling aphorisms in lifts
all over London if he was alive today?  Why are you standing there
pondering such pointless thoughts?
There is a control panel with operating instructions on the wall.
The doors are to the South.
END_ROOM_DESCR

HELP 54
Most people find pushing buttons helps with lifts!
END_HELP_DESCR

ROOM 55
Tube Journey
WEST 42
SOUTH 22
END_ROOM

ROOM_DESCR 55
Rather than include the complete London tube system we now give you the
opportunity to take a tube back to your starting point, should you fee
the need to return.  However it will cost you points.  Should you wish
to return to the start of your tube journey go South, otherwise return
to the ticket barriers in the West.
END_ROOM_DESCR

ROOM 56
Software Company Corridor
NORTH 54
EAST 57
END_ROOM

ROOM_DESCR 56
You're in a corridor outside the lift on the top floor of the software
company.  The reception lies to your East while the lift is to your North.
END_ROOM_DESCR

HELP 56
'Would all visitors please report to reception so we can give you
a hard time.'
END_HELP_DESCR

ROOM 57
Software Company Reception
NORTH 58
WEST 56
EXIT 56
END_ROOM

ROOM_DESCR 57
Your feet sink into the thick pile of the reception area carpet.  By the
time you reach the receptionist's desk you're almost exhausted.  Behind
her, to the East, lies a shut door to the offices.  To the North is a door
marked 'Toilet'.  The exit lies to the West.
END_ROOM_DESCR

ROOM 58
Software Company Toilet
SOUTH 57
EXIT 57
SPECIAL 59
KEY 266
END_ROOM

ROOM_DESCR 58
The company toilet is very stylish, all gleaming porcelain and
chrome with shiny black tiles.  Subdued lighting adds a discrete
atmosphere and gentle melodies drift from concealed speakers...
Handel's Water Music, natch.  It seems far too classy a place for mere
bodily functions!  The exit is to the South and there's a frosted
glass window in the wall opposite.
END_ROOM_DESCR

HELP 58
What else do you do in a toilet?  Well, once you've attended to your
personal hygiene it might be worth checking those nooks and crannies
that other bleaches don't always reach!
END_HELP_DESCR

ROOM 59
The Programmer's Cell
SOUTH 60
EXIT 60
END_ROOM

ROOM_DESCR 59
You always wondered where little computer programs came from.  Now you
know.  This is the cell in which the programmer is chained to his desk
working a 25 hour day (okay, so there's a fault with his PC's internal
clock... that's what comes of buying high tech gear from Ben's Bargains).
The room is dank, dirty and dusty.  However you can make out a desk
surrounded by a sea of fast food cartons on which sits a PC.  Around
it are piled manuals, notes and disks.  There is an exit to the South but
something - probably this message - tells you it doesn't lead very far.
END_ROOM_DESCR

HELP 59
It's not giving too much away to say that what you do now is crucial
to your success in this adventure, is it?  Good.  Now work out the rest
of it yourself...
END_HELP_DESCR

ROOM 60
Software Company Corridor
NORTH 59
WEST 61
ENTER 59
LOCKED_DOOR
END_ROOM

ROOM_DESCR 60
The corridor outside the programmer's dungeon continues to the West and
there's a door marked 'Fire Door' to the East.  You can return to the
programmer's room in the North.
END_ROOM_DESCR

ROOM 61
Software Company Corridor
EAST 60
LOCKED_DOOR
END_ROOM

ROOM_DESCR 61
You are in the corridor by the lift.  It runs to the East while the
lift is to the North.
END_ROOM_DESCR

ROOM 62
Fire Escape
UP 60
DOWN 63
END_ROOM

ROOM_DESCR 62
You find yourself on a concrete fire escape which leads Down to the
street and freedom.  If you go Up there is a door to the software
company first floor where the programmer is kept captive.
END_ROOM_DESCR

ROOM 63
Taxi Rank
WEST 49
EAST 64
SCORE 10
LOCKED_DOOR
END_ROOM

ROOM_DESCR 63
There is a taxi rank at this end of the High Street and you know you
must be nearing the end of the adventure because there's a taxi 
parked to the East with its door open and its engine running.  Could
it be waiting for you?  If you don't want to leave yet, the street
continues to the West and there's a locked door to the software
company fire escape to the North.
END_ROOM_DESCR

HELP 63
Make sure you've got everything you need before you get into the cab.
END_HELP_DESCR

ROOM 64
Taxi
END_ROOM

ROOM_DESCR 64
You sit back into the taxi's seat.  The glass window between you
and the driver is open just enough for him to chat with you.  You
give him your instructions: "What Personal Computer? and step on
it."  He takes a copy of the magazine from his pocket and looks
sad.  "Seems a pity as it's such a good magazine but you're the
boss."  Then he steps on it.  Counting slowly to ten you repeat
your instruction.  "Sorry," he laughs in his jocular London cabbie
fashion.  "See what you mean, guv."  Fortunately What Personal
Computer? is part of every cabbie's 'knowledge' and at a breath-
taking three miles an hour you pull out into a solid line of static
traffic.  Something tells you this could take some time!
END_ROOM_DESCR

HELP 64
Well, don't just sit there.  Do something!
END_HELP_DESCR

ROOM 65
Pavement Outside EMAP
NORTH 66
SOUTH 67
EAST 67
WEST 67
ENTER 66
END_ROOM

ROOM_DESCR 65
Your destination is getting closer but so's the deadline.  You're
on the pavement outside EMAP and the entrance is to your North.
END_ROOM_DESCR

HELP 65
Are you serious!
END_HELP_DESCR

ROOM 66
EMAP reception
SOUTH 65
UP 68
EXIT 65
END_ROOM

ROOM_DESCR 66
As you enter the reception area the receptionist is busy with a
phone call and you manage to sneak past her.  From here stairs lead
Up to the offices of the various magazines including the one that 
interests you at the moment - What Personal Computer?
END_ROOM_DESCR

HELP 66
Upward ever upward!
END_HELP_DESCR

ROOM 67
Time To Spare?!!
NORTH 65
SOUTH 65
EAST 65
WEST 65
END_ROOM

ROOM_DESCR 67
What are you doing?!!!  Here you are on the very doorstep of your 
destination and you want to go on a sightseeing tour of London!
Well, fortunately for you the programmer of this adventure is of a
more responsible nature and all roads lead to EMAP.
END_ROOM_DESCR

HELP 67
If you're asking for help here you really need it.  You're within
spitting distance of your destination.
END_HELP_DESCR

ROOM 68
PC Abuser Office
UP 69
DOWN 66
END_ROOM

ROOM_DESCR 68
These are the offices of PC Abuser magazine.  They're full of
hard working, serious techie types, not at all like the fun crowd
who populate the What? offices (ie this mob sometimes do some work!).
Stairs lead Up to the other offices and Down to reception. 
END_ROOM_DESCR

HELP 68
You may well ask for help.  Hurry along before they try to commission
you to write some totally humourless article.
END_HELP_DESCR

ROOM 69
Advertising Sales
UP 70
DOWN 68
END_ROOM

ROOM_DESCR 69
The air starts becomes thin as you reach the advertising sales floor
and you wish you'd brought some sherpas with you.  Here the
hard selling sales staff hit targets and occasionally each other
as they strive to fill pages which would otherwise be taken up with
boring editorial.
(Note: we have to say this sort of thing.  Ad sales people believe you
buy magazines for the adverts.)
Stairs lead up to the What Personal Computer? office and down to the 
other offices and reception.
END_ROOM_DESCR

HELP 69
If you want to buy advertising in What Personal Computer phone
071 251 6222.
END_HELP_DESCR

ROOM 70
WPC? Ante Room
NORTH 71
DOWN 69
END_ROOM

ROOM_DESCR 70
At the top of the stairs the air is thin and the odd low flying plane
passes by the windows.  This is the ante room to the What Personal
Computer? eyrie, high above all the other magazines, intellectually
as well as geographically.  To the North is the office.  You can see
Gail, waiting for your copy.  She looks ferocious.
END_ROOM_DESCR

HELP 70
So near and yet...
END_HELP_DESCR

ROOM 71
WPC? Office
GAME_WIN
POINTS 100
END_ROOM

ROOM_DESCR 71
As the staff of What Personal Computer? busily slave away they sing
a happy song.  "Hi ho, hi ho..."
Sorry, that's Snow White And The Seven Dwarves!
As the staff of What Personal Computer? slave away they barely have
time to greet you.  Eventually Gail glances up and her ferocious
look turns into a smile.  "I didn't think you'd manage," she says,
as you hand over the pocket computer with the review safe in its
RAM (okay, this is a work of fiction so we won't mention things
like batteries running down).  She hands over the cheque for
250 pounds and your flat is safe...

For this month at least...

Now if you can only find another easy assignment like this one for
the next issue!
END_ROOM_DESCR

ROOM 199
Loser's Hell
GAME_END
END_ROOM

ROOM_DESCR 199
You blew it.  This is the end of the road for you as a freelance
journalist.  Maybe you'd better try something more suited to your
abilities.  Or you could just reload and try again...
END_ROOM_DESCR

(REM objects)

NOUN 200
letter
bank
There is a letter from your bank
LOCATION 2
READABLE
POINTS 5
POSITION on the desk
END_NOUN

NOUN_DESCR 200
The official looking letter from your bank sends shivers down your
spine even before you read it.
END_NOUN_DESCR

TEXT 200
Dear Sir/Madam

           [You like this personal touch - you've
           only banked with them for seven years!]

Regarding the state of your current account we now see that you 
are overdrawn to the sum of 250 pounds.  We would therefore be
grateful if you would repay this amount by the end of the day 
otherwise we will repossess your flat and throw you and your few 
belongings onto the street.

We look forward to doing business with you again in the future.

Yours

J Scrooge (Loans and Leg Breaking)
END_TEXT

NOUN 201
release
press
There is a press release
LOCATION 2
READABLE
POINTS 5
POSITION on the desk
END_NOUN

NOUN_DESCR 201
The garish logo on the letter head indicates that this is a press
release from a software company. 
END_NOUN_DESCR

TEXT 201
EXCITING NEWS ABOUT WORD WONDERFUL V3

Dear Journalist

The long awaited version 3 of the world's favourite word processor
is almost ready for launch.  Vapourware Inc has announced that the
package will appear in one week's time, just seven days later than
its original deadline.

           [Its original delayed deadline, that is
             It was supposed to appear thirteen
            months ago so what's another week?]

We will be mailing you a review copy as soon as samples arrive at
our offices.

Issued by Word Wonderful, 117A The Broadway, London W23
END_TEXT

NOUN 203
telephone
grey
There is a grey telephone
UNMOVABLE
LOCATION 2
POSITION on the desk
NOUN_SYNONYMS phone
END_NOUN

NOUN_DESCR 203
The telephone is another masterpiece of BT design.  Sometimes it
even works.
END_NOUN_DESCR

NOUN 204
PC
Desktop
There is a Desktop PC
UNMOVABLE
LOCATION 2
READABLE
POSITION on the desk
NOUN_SYNONYMS computer monitor
END_NOUN

NOUN_DESCR 204
The 386 PC with VGA display and 40Mb hard disk came out tops in a
What Personal Computer? review.  More importantly for you, the hardware
company hasn't asked for it back yet!  Its monitor displays the ever-
friendly DOS prompt.
END_NOUN_DESCR

TEXT 204
The prompt says c:>.  Isn't that helpful?
END_TEXT

NOUN 205
shoe
right
there is a shoe for your right foot here
LOCATION 3
WEARABLE
END_NOUN

NOUN_DESCR 205
The poor, lonely shoe looks like it would fit happily on that appendage
at the end of your right leg.
END_NOUN_DESCR

NOUN 206
Tile
Ceiling
There is a ceiling tile
UNMOVABLE
LOCATION 25
PULLABLE
POSITION hanging from the ceiling
END_NOUN

NOUN_DESCR 206
The polystyrene tile is white and porous.  It looks as if it may come
away if you pull it hard enough.
END_NOUN_DESCR

PULL_DESCR 206
As you pull the tile the ladder rocks and the tile cracks but the glue
still holds.
END_PULL_DESCR

NOUN 207
shoe
left
There is a left shoe
LOCATION 0
POINTS 10
WEARABLE
POSITION under the bed
END_NOUN

NOUN_DESCR 207
The comfortable left shoe is the long lost twin of the shoe in the
hallway.
END_NOUN_DESCR

NOUN 208
stepladder
kitchen
There is a kitchen stepladder
LOCATION 6
WEIGHT 50
NOUN_SYNONYMS steps ladder
END_NOUN

NOUN_DESCR 208
The kitchen stepladder is just five rungs high and looks strong
enough to take your weight... you hope!
END_NOUN_DESCR

NOUN 209
key
house
Here is a house key for your front door
LOCATION 5
POSITION on the shelf
END_NOUN

NOUN_DESCR 209
The house key fits the front door of your flat. 
END_NOUN_DESCR

NOUN 210
tips
program
The word tips appears
UNMOVABLE
LOCATION 0
POSITION on the screen
END_NOUN

NOUN 211
dir
list
The directory appears
UNMOVABLE
LOCATION 0
POSITION on the screen
END_NOUN

NOUN 212
accounts
program
The accounts program appears
UNMOVABLE
LOCATION 0
POSITION on the screen
END_NOUN

NOUN 213
wordproc
program
The wordproc program
UNMOVABLE
LOCATION 0
POSITION on the screen
END_NOUN

NOUN 214
bed
your
You can see your bed
UNMOVABLE
LOCATION 4
END_NOUN

NOUN_DESCR 214
The bed is rumpled and unmade.  You used to share it with a large,
fluffy teddy bear (awwww) until it left in disgust at your slovenly
habits!
END_NOUN_DESCR

NOUN 215
jacket
blue
You can see your blue jacket here
LOCATION 4
WEARABLE
CLOSABLE
CLOSED
POSITION on the bed
END_NOUN

NOUN_DESCR 215
Your jacket has certainly seen better days.  There's a small hole 
in one pocket and you might even worry about losing money through
it... if you had any, that is.
END_NOUN_DESCR

NOUN 217
Hedge
Privet
There is a privet hedge separating the garden from the street
SIZE 100
UNMOVABLE
LOCATION 7
NOUN_SYNONYMS privet shadows bush
END_NOUN

NOUN_DESCR 217
The privet hedge is thick and unkempt, casting deep shadows.
END_NOUN_DESCR

NOUN 218
note
five-pound
There is a five pound note
SIZE 1
LOCATION 0
POINTS 10
NOUN_SYNONYMS fiver money
END_NOUN

NOUN_DESCR 218
It's one of those new five pound notes that looks like toy town
money and buys about as much.
END_NOUN_DESCR

NOUN 219
stepladder
broken
There is a broken kitchen stepladder
WEIGHT 50
LOCATION 0
NOUN_SYNONYMS steps ladder
END_NOUN

NOUN_DESCR 219
The kitchen stepladder is now hopelessly cracked and in two pieces.
END_NOUN_DESCR

NOUN 220
Tile
Broken
There are two pieces of broken white polystyrene ceiling tile
LOCATION 0
POINTS 10
PLURAL
END_NOUN

NOUN_DESCR 220
The two pieces of the white polystyrene tile are each about
six inches square.
END_NOUN_DESCR

NOUN 221
Key
Sardine
There is a key for a sardine can
LOCATION 10
POSITION in the gutter
END_NOUN

NOUN_DESCR 221
The sardine can key is rusty and still smells vaguely of sardines.
END_NOUN_DESCR

NOUN 222
Leaflet
Bank
There is a leaflet about bank services here
LOCATION 13
READABLE
POSITION on the display
END_NOUN

NOUN_DESCR 222
The glossy leaflet is aimed at students and tells them about a great
free offer.  You think it's strange that the bank spends thousands on
self promotion yet wants to chuck you out of house and home for a couple
of hundred quid! 
END_NOUN_DESCR

TEXT 222
Are you a new student?
Then let us tell you about our exciting banking services for spend-
thrift teenagers who have the rest of their lives to pay off the
interest!
Take this brochure to the counter for your EXCITING free gift and help
contribute to the waste paper problem, deforestation and several other
ecological problems.
But remember - be young, be foolish and don't cry when we take away all
your belonging because you can't pay your overdraft!
END_TEXT

NOUN 223
Booklet
Fish
There is a booklet about fish here
LOCATION 0
READABLE
POINTS 10
NOUN_SYNONYMS book
END_NOUN

NOUN_DESCR 223
The fascinating booklet is destined to become a best seller.  It's entitled
'What every student should know about fish.'
END_NOUN_DESCR

TEXT 223
WHAT EVERY NEW STUDENT SHOULD KNOW ABOUT FISH
  a practical guide to fish identification
    (by the author of The Joy Of Skate)

  [Are you sure you can take the excitement?
      It continues for 120 pages in much
           the same piscine mode.]
END_TEXT

NOUN 224
pen
bank
There is a pen here
LOCATION 14
POSITION on a chain
NOUN_SYNONYMS biro
END_NOUN

NOUN_DESCR 224
The pen is a finely crafted, gold tipped fountain pen... well, almost.
Actually it's a grotty biro on a silver chain - as if anybody would
want to steal it.
END_NOUN_DESCR

NOUN 225
paper
racing
There is a racing paper stapled to the wall
UNMOVABLE
LOCATION 16
READABLE
END_NOUN

NOUN_DESCR 225
The racing paper lists the riders and runners for the next race.
END_NOUN_DESCR

TEXT 225

Kempton 2.15
++++++++++++++++++++++
No.      Horse.
======================
1        Fast Fancy
2        Turbocharged
3        Getalonglad
4        Serendipity
++++++++++++++++++++++
TOP TIP: Fast Fancy
END_TEXT

NOUN 227
slip
betting
There is a betting slip
LOCATION 17
READABLE
POSITION on the counter
NOUN_SYNONYMS bet
END_NOUN

NOUN_DESCR 227
The flimsy paper betting slip is waiting for your selection.
END_NOUN_DESCR

TEXT 227
Are you trying to tell me you've never placed a bet before?
To make it easy the instructions on the slip read...
"Write the number of your selection on the slip then hand it
with your stake to the clerk.  Minimum stake: five pounds"
END_TEXT

NOUN 228
note
twenty-pound
There is a twenty-pound note here
LOCATION 0
READABLE
POINTS 20
NOUN_SYNONYMS twenty-pounds money
END_NOUN

NOUN_DESCR 228
No, I can't remember what a twenty-pound note looks like either...
END_NOUN_DESCR

TEXT 228
It says: 'Twenty pounds, fifty pence'.  Something tells you this might
be a forgery but you're sure you'll palm if off on somebody.
END_TEXT

NOUN 229
change
small
There is a pile of small change here
LOCATION 0
POINTS 30
NOUN_SYNONYMS coins cash money
END_NOUN

NOUN_DESCR 229
It weighs a ton though it only amounts to #VAR9# pence in tiny new
five pences, geometrically shaped twenty and fifty pence pieces
and golden pound coins.  In a flood of nostalgia for pounds,
shillings and pence you ponder that it doesn't look anything like
real money... and it's not worth anything like it either.
END_NOUN_DESCR

NOUN 230
machine
ticket
There is a ticket machine
UNMOVABLE
LOCATION 20
READABLE
POSITION on the wall
NOUN_SYNONYMS dot-matrix display instructions
END_NOUN

NOUN_DESCR 230
The ticket machine is a hi-tech marvel, covered in buttons with a
dot-matrix display of instructions.
END_NOUN_DESCR

TEXT 230
The machine's instructions read:
1) Insert money
2) Take ticket
3) Change will be given unless otherwise indicated.

Above them a message otherwise indicates:
CORRECT CHANGE ONLY

[Bet you thought instruction 3 sounded too good to be true.]
END_TEXT

NOUN 231
machine
vending
There is a sweets vending machine
UNMOVABLE
LOCATION 22
READABLE
PUSHABLE
PULLABLE
POSITION on the wall
NOUN_SYNONYMS drawer instructions
END_NOUN

NOUN_DESCR 231
The sweets vending machine is ancient and mechanical.  Its four
drawers contain different types of candy.
END_NOUN_DESCR

TEXT 231
The instructions read:
'Insert thirty pence.  Pull drawer.'

Then in much smaller letters:
'In case of failure please contact...'
Unfortunately the phone number is illegible.  What a surprise!
END_TEXT

PULL_DESCR 231
You pull at the machine's drawer to no avail.  It remains firmly in
place.
END_PULL_DESCR

NOUN 232
ticket
underground
There is an underground ticket
LOCATION 0
READABLE
END_NOUN

NOUN_DESCR 232
The ticket is yellow with an oxide coating on its reverse side.
END_NOUN_DESCR

TEXT 232
'Help London Underground cut down over crowding.  Don't use the tube.'
(But keep on buying tickets so we can turn a tidy profit and
be privatised.
END_TEXT

NOUN 233
Packet
Sweet
There is a sweet packet here
LOCATION 0
READABLE
CLOSABLE
CLOSED
POINTS 10
NOUN_SYNONYMS sweets confectionery candy pastilles
END_NOUN

NOUN_DESCR 233
The sweet packet holds #VAR4# pastilles.
END_NOUN_DESCR

TEXT 233
'Fruit Pastilles - contains no natural (or recognisable) flavours
whatsoever.'
END_TEXT

NOUN 234
Paper
Silver
There is a piece of silver paper
LOCATION 0
END_NOUN

NOUN_DESCR 234
The silver paper originally contained fruit pastilles.
END_NOUN_DESCR

NOUN 235
sweet
Red
There is a red sweet
LOCATION 0
EDIBLE
NOUN_SYNONYMS sweet
END_NOUN

NOUN_DESCR 235
The sweet is red and sticky.  You suspect it's raspberry flavour.
END_NOUN_DESCR

NOUN 236
sweet
orange
There is an orange sweet
LOCATION 0
EDIBLE
NOUN_SYNONYMS sweet
END_NOUN

NOUN_DESCR 236
The sweet is orange and sticky.  Could it be orange flavour?
END_NOUN_DESCR

NOUN 237
sweet
Yellow
There is a yellow sweet
LOCATION 0
EDIBLE
NOUN_SYNONYMS sweet
END_NOUN

NOUN_DESCR 237
The sweet is yellow and sticky.  Go for lemon flavour.
END_NOUN_DESCR

NOUN 238
sweet
Green
There is a green sweet
LOCATION 0
EDIBLE
NOUN_SYNONYMS sweet
END_NOUN

NOUN_DESCR 238
The sweet is green and sticky.  It may be lime flavour... of maybe
pine disinfectant.
END_NOUN_DESCR

NOUN 239
sweet
Black
There is a black sweet
LOCATION 0
EDIBLE
NOUN_SYNONYMS sweet
END_NOUN

NOUN_DESCR 239
The sweet is black and sticky.  This may mean black currant flavour.
END_NOUN_DESCR

NOUN 240
sweet
Purple
There is a purple sweet
LOCATION 0
EDIBLE
NOUN_SYNONYMS sweet
END_NOUN

NOUN_DESCR 240
The sweet is purple and sticky and probably deadly nightshade
flavour (only kidding!).
END_NOUN_DESCR

NOUN 241
sweet
Transparent
There is a transparent sweet
LOCATION 0
EDIBLE
NOUN_SYNONYMS sweet
END_NOUN

NOUN_DESCR 241
The sweet is transparent and extra sticky.  Nobody has ever
dared eat one of these to discover what flavour it is.
END_NOUN_DESCR

NOUN 242
Herring
Red
There is a red herring here
LOCATION 33
READABLE
NOUN_SYNONYMS fish
END_NOUN

NOUN_DESCR 242
The red herring is a natural resident of adventure games.
END_NOUN_DESCR

TEXT 242
If you're enjoying this adventure please send John Minson large amounts
of dosh c/o the What Personal Computer address!
END_TEXT

NOUN 243
box
lunch
The guard's lunch box is here
SIZE 2
LOCATION 26
CLOSABLE
CLOSED
POSITION on the seat
END_NOUN

NOUN_DESCR 243
It seems logical to presume that the guard's lunch box contains
his midday snack.
END_NOUN_DESCR

NOUN 244
Sandwich
Guard's
The guard's sandwich
SIZE 1
LOCATION 243
EDIBLE
END_NOUN

NOUN_DESCR 244
The sandwich is cheese and pickle.
END_NOUN_DESCR

NOUN 245
bread
white
There are two pieces of white bread
LOCATION 0
POINTS 20
EDIBLE
END_NOUN

NOUN_DESCR 245
The two pieces of white bread are fine examples of the traditional
baker's art... if you like bland, stodgy slabs of dough!
END_NOUN_DESCR

NOUN 246
map
tube
There is a tube map
UNMOVABLE
LOCATION 26
READABLE
POSITION above the seats
END_NOUN

NOUN_DESCR 246
The tube map on the wall above the windows indicates where you will have
to change lines.
END_NOUN_DESCR

TEXT 246
The map reads:

 Starting point            Nor this one                 Whoops!  Too Far
---|-------------|--------------|---------------|---------------|----
            Not this one                 Change here
END_TEXT

NOUN 247
Advertisements
Tube
There are tube advertisements
UNMOVABLE
LOCATION 26
READABLE
POSITION above the seats
PLURAL
NOUN_SYNONYMS advertisement advert adverts poster posters
END_NOUN

NOUN_DESCR 247
Gaudy advertisements line the wall above the windows.  Most are defaced
by graffiti.
END_NOUN_DESCR

TEXT 247
  [The only advert left legible by the vandal's felt tip reads]

          "Buy What Personal Computer? every month
          for the best in user friendly PC advice."

        [Obviously a vandal of taste and discernment!]
END_TEXT

NOUN 248
screwdriver
small
There is a small screwdriver
SCORE 10
LOCATION 0
END_NOUN

NOUN_DESCR 248
The small screwdriver has a cross head (and its feet are
pretty angry too).
END_NOUN_DESCR

NOUN 249
panel
control
There is a control panel
UNMOVABLE
LOCATION 52
READABLE
PUSHABLE
POSITION on the wall
NOUN_SYNONYMS button buttons
END_NOUN

NOUN_DESCR 249
There are three buttons on the control panel.  Instructions tell you to:
Push 1 for the ground floor.
Push 2 for the programmer's offices.
Push 3 for reception.
END_NOUN_DESCR

TEXT 249
'Push 1 for the ground floor.
Push 2 for the programmer's offices.
Push 3 for reception.'

[See, I told you they said that but you just wouldn't believe me!]
END_TEXT

PUSH_DESCR 249
You need to specify the button for the floor you want, namely:
1 - ground; 2 - programmers offices; 3 - reception:
then issue the command in the form Push 1, 2 or 3.
END_PUSH_DESCR


NOUN 250
dustbin
empty
There is an empty dustbin
LOCATION 43
WEIGHT 75
POSITION on the pavement
NOUN_SYNONYMS bin
END_NOUN

NOUN_DESCR 250
The dustbin has just been emptied and emits an odour of
stale vegetables.
END_NOUN_DESCR

NOUN 251
CDs
trendy
There are racks of trendy CDs
LOCATION 46
POSITION on the racks
PLURAL
NOUN_SYNONYMS CD disks discs
END_NOUN

NOUN_DESCR 251
The trendy CDs encompass every musical fad from Bengali jazz to Rochdale
acid house.
END_NOUN_DESCR

NOUN 252
tape
Supertramp
There is a Supertramp tape
LOCATION 47
READABLE
POINTS 10
POSITION in the rubbish pile
NOUN_SYNONYMS cassette Supertramp inlay card
END_NOUN

NOUN_DESCR 252
The tape oozes an early seventies aura... you can almost smell the
patchouli oil!  And those wonderful lyrics on the inlay card...
END_NOUN_DESCR

TEXT 252
[Are you sure you want to do this?

Okay, the inlay card reads...]

'Dreamer, nothing but a dreamer...'

[Etc, etc, ad infinitum!. And if you're humming along you
should be ashamed!]
END_TEXT

NOUN 253
compass
antique
There is an antique compass
LOCATION 45
READABLE
CLOSABLE
CLOSED
POSITION in the window
END_NOUN

NOUN_DESCR 253
The antique compass would have the experts of the Antiques Road Show
in raptures.  (Adopt Arthur Negus accent.)  "A lovely example of its
type it demonstrates the craftsmanship of the master mariner with
its ivory face and through the glass of its lid you can see four
pearls marking each of the primary directions.  It must be worth
all of... ooh... 47p."  The sticker says 500 guineas though!
END_NOUN_DESCR

TEXT 253
                                  N
                                . | .
                              W   |   E    
                                .   .
                                  S

END_TEXT

NOUN 254
pearl
north
There is a pearl for north
LOCATION 253
POINTS 5
POSITION in the compass
END_NOUN

NOUN_DESCR 254
The pearl marking north possesses a brilliant lustre.
END_NOUN_DESCR

NOUN 255
pearl
south
There is a pearl for south
LOCATION 253
POINTS 5
POSITION in the compass
END_NOUN

NOUN_DESCR 255
The pearl marking south is of remarkable size.
END_NOUN_DESCR

NOUN 256
pearl
west
There is a pearl for west
LOCATION 253
POINTS 5
POSITION in the compass
END_NOUN

NOUN_DESCR 256
The pearl marking west is incredibly flawless.
END_NOUN_DESCR

NOUN 257
pearl
east
There is a pearl for east
LOCATION 253
POINTS 5
POSITION in the compass
END_NOUN

NOUN_DESCR 257
The pearl marking east burns bright with an inner light.
END_NOUN_DESCR

NOUN 258
tin
sardine
There is a sardine tin
LOCATION 50
READABLE
POSITION on the shelf
NOUN_SYNONYMS can sardines
END_NOUN

NOUN_DESCR 258
The sardine tin is battered and missing its key.  It contains a notice,
scrawled in felt pen.
END_NOUN_DESCR

TEXT 258
"Reject consignment: no responsibility can be taken for the condition
of the contents."
END_TEXT

NOUN 259
sardine
pink
There is a pink sardine here
READABLE
LOCATION 0
EDIBLE
END_NOUN

NOUN_DESCR 259
The pink sardine is gently rose tinted and might be mistaken for a red
herring by a piscine illiterate!
END_NOUN_DESCR

TEXT 259
Don't be ridiculous.  Who'd try to read a sardine!
END_TEXT

NOUN 260
button
control
There is a control button
UNMOVABLE
LOCATION 54
READABLE
POSITION on the wall
NOUN_SYNONYMS control 
END_NOUN

NOUN_DESCR 260
There is a small button on the wall.
END_NOUN_DESCR

TEXT 260
Press for service.
END_TEXT

NOUN 261
bowl
toilet
There is a toilet bowl
UNMOVABLE
LOCATION 58
POSITION in the cubicle
NOUN_SYNONYMS toilet lavatory loo
END_NOUN

NOUN_DESCR 261
This finely crafted porcelain urinal gleams with the brilliant
white that only a powerful bleach and disinfectant can bring...
look, I really can't rhapsodise about a lavvie.  It's toilet
shaped and it sits in a cubicle.
END_NOUN_DESCR

NOUN 263
computer
pocket
There is a pocket computer
POINTS 25
LOCATION 0
POSITION behind the toilet bowl
END_NOUN

NOUN_DESCR 263
The pocket computer has a miniature QWERTY keyboard which is incredibly
useful if you have miniature fingers, and small LCD display.
END_NOUN_DESCR

NOUN 264
sofa
leather
There is a grey leather sofa
UNMOVABLE
LOCATION 57
NOUN_SYNONYMS seat settee
END_NOUN

NOUN_DESCR 264
The grey leather sofa is sumptuous and comfortable.  You could sit
here for hours... and may have to!
END_NOUN_DESCR

NOUN 265
lager
warm
There is a glass of warm lager
LOCATION 0
DRINKABLE
NOUN_SYNONYMS glass
END_NOUN

NOUN_DESCR 265
The glass of slightly fizzy yellow liquid is near body temperature.
For a moment you wonder whether it just could be a medical specimen
but decide that playing such an uncouth trick would be bad PR.
END_NOUN_DESCR

NOUN 266
towel
roller
There is a roller towel
UNMOVABLE
LOCATION 58
PULLABLE
POSITION on the wall
END_NOUN

NOUN_DESCR 266
The roller towel is black and silver.  It looks extremely stylish like
everything else in this toilet.
END_NOUN_DESCR

PULL_DESCR 266
It may look stylish but it doesn't work.  You pull harder to get
a length of clean towel and with a grinding of gears the mechanism
suddenly comes free...
END_PULL_DESCR

NOUN 267
PC
desktop
There is a desktop PC
UNMOVABLE
LOCATION 59
POSITION on the desk
NOUN_SYNONYMS computer
END_NOUN

NOUN_DESCR 267
The desktop PC is much used and bears stickers like the ones Battle Of
Britain pilots used to record 'kills'.  These indicate programs
completed.
END_NOUN_DESCR

NOUN 268
disk
program
There is a program disk
LOCATION 0
POINTS 50
READABLE
NOUN_SYNONYMS program wordprocessor word-processor Perfect_Print
END_NOUN

NOUN_DESCR 268
This is the Word Wonderful program disk, containing the completed code.
END_NOUN_DESCR

TEXT 268
Word Wonderful v3 - completed version
END_TEXT

NOUN 269
stereo
personal
There is a personal stereo
LOCATION 59
POSITION on the desk
NOUN_SYNONYMS walkman
END_NOUN

NOUN_DESCR 269
The personal stereo features two types of dolby, auto-reverse and
a miniaturised graphics equaliser.  Unfortunately it lacks a cassette!
END_NOUN_DESCR

NOUN 270
button
call
There is a call button
UNMOVABLE
LOCATION 61
PUSHABLE
POSITION on the wall by the lift
END_NOUN

NOUN_DESCR 270
The call button is marked: 'Press to call lift.'
END_NOUN_DESCR

PUSH_DESCR 270
Pushing the button does no good.  A 'Security clearance denied'
message flashes on the panel above it.
END_PUSH_DESCR

NOUN 276
lock
electronic
There is an electronic lock
UNMOVABLE
READABLE
LOCATION 60
POSITION on the wall by the fire escape door
NOUN_SYNONYMS slot
END_NOUN

NOUN_DESCR 276
The lock is extremely tough looking.  The only visible feature is
a slot into which a key card can be inserted. 
END_NOUN_DESCR

TEXT 276
'Insert key card into lock.'
END_TEXT

NOUN 277
glass
empty
There is an empty glass here
LOCATION 0
NOUN_SYNONYMS
END_NOUN

NOUN_DESCR 277
The glass once contained lager.
END_NOUN_DESCR

NOUN 278
butter
peanut
There is some peanut butter
LOCATION 0
EDIBLE
POSITION in the sardine tin
NOUN_SYNONYMS tin
END_NOUN

NOUN_DESCR 278
The peanut butter is browny-orange and glutinous; quite how it
ended up in a sardine tin you have no idea.  Surprises like this
are one of the joys of shopping at Ben's Bargains!
END_NOUN_DESCR

NOUN 279
hands
my
Here are your hands
LOCATION 0
PLURAL
END_NOUN

NOUN 281
review
product
There is a product review here
UNMOVABLE
LOCATION 0
READABLE
NOUN_SYNONYMS article copy
END_NOUN

NOUN_DESCR 281
It is, of course, totally brilliant and perfectly written.
END_NOUN_DESCR

TEXT 281
'Word Wonderful is a superlative example of the programmer's art...'
END_TEXT

NOUN 282
sou'wester
waterproof
There is a waterproof sou'wester
LOCATION 0
WEARABLE
POINTS 10
NOUN_SYNONYMS hat
END_NOUN

NOUN_DESCR 282
The sou'wester is yellow and made out of oilskin.  It brings back memories
of childhood and nanny.  Suddenly you have an overwhelming desire for a
pair of big rubber boots and a shiny PVC mac...

You ought to be ashamed of yourself!
END_NOUN_DESCR

(REM creatures)

CREATURE 300
cashier
bank
There is a bank cashier
LOCATION 14
WOMAN
END_CREATURE

CREATURE_DESCR 300
The bank cashier is glum and spotty.  She chews gum as she counts
a pile of dirty fivers.
END_CREATURE_DESCR

CREATURE 301
punter
shabby
There is a shabby looking punter here
LOCATION 16
MAN
END_CREATURE

CREATURE_DESCR 301
The run down jacket and and flapping shoe suggest that it may be
some time since this gentleman of the turf last picked a winner.
END_CREATURE_DESCR

CREATURE 302
clerk
betting-office
There is a betting office clerk here
LOCATION 17
WOMAN
END_CREATURE

CREATURE_DESCR 302
The betting-office clerk is spotty and glum.  She chews gum as
she reads a copy of Hello! with intent interest.
END_CREATURE_DESCR

CREATURE 303
beggar
aged
An aged beggar shuffles along beside you
LOCATION 15
MAN
GROUPMEMBER
CREATURE_SYNONYMS beggar tramp
END_CREATURE

CREATURE_DESCR 303
With his long, grey beard with its yellow nicotine stains, tatty
overcoat and battered trilby the beggar is obviously living
rough.  Is this to be your fate too?
END_CREATURE_DESCR

CREATURE 304
guard
tube
There is a tube guard here
LOCATION 26
MAN
END_CREATURE

CREATURE_DESCR 304
The tube guard is burly and surly, his hair is curly and he likes to
knock off early.  In short he's a credit to his job!
END_CREATURE_DESCR

CREATURE 305
Drunk
Repulsive
There is a repulsive drunk slouched in a seat
LOCATION 40
MAN
END_CREATURE

CREATURE_DESCR 305
The drunk wears a pair of filthy jeans, an Elvis T-shirt and a
tartan cap.  Slurring his speech he is cheerfully embarrassing
the other passengers who pretend to ignore him.
END_CREATURE_DESCR

CREATURE 306
Salesman
Trendy
The trendy salesman stands behind the counter
LOCATION 46
MAN
END_CREATURE

CREATURE_DESCR 306
The trendy salesman wears a small pointed hat from a distant Andes
village, a hand woven bedouin waistcoat, an green, purple and yellow
T-shirt and a supercilious smile that tells you he just knows he's
hipper than thou.
END_CREATURE_DESCR

CREATURE 307
Ben
'Bargains'
The shop owner, 'Bargains' Ben, pounds the floor determinedly
looking for customers.
LOCATION 50
MAN
END_CREATURE

CREATURE_DESCR 307
Ben has long, lank grey hair and yellowing teeth.  An unlighted
roll-up hangs loosely from his lips.  Somehow you can't imagine
him serving in Harrods.
END_CREATURE_DESCR

CREATURE 308
receptionist
supercilious
There is a supercilious receptionist
LOCATION 57
WOMAN
END_CREATURE

CREATURE_DESCR 308
The supercilious receptionist is dressed in a severe grey blouse 
and wears gold rimmed spectacles.  She tends her nails with a savage
looking file.  Apart from that she's spotty and glum and chewing
gum.  You almost ask her if she's got any relations in the world
of banking or bookies but think better of it!
END_CREATURE_DESCR

CREATURE 309
programmer
exhausted
There is an exhausted programmer here
LOCATION 59
MAN
END_CREATURE

CREATURE_DESCR 309
The exhausted programmer is dishevelled and looks as if he's been here
a long time.  He's not so much got bags under his eyes as matching 
luggage!
END_CREATURE_DESCR

CREATURE 310
cabbie
cheery 
A cheery cabbie sits in the driver's seat
LOCATION 64
MAN
CREATURE_SYNONYMS driver
END_CREATURE

CREATURE_DESCR 310
Do what, knock it on the head, 'ow's yer father, apples an' bananas, up
the Marble Arch, Marie Lloyd knew my father, my father knew Lloyd George,
doing the Lambeth Walk, Bow Bells...

(Actually your cheery cockney cabbie was born in Scarborough but he
doesn't want to disappoint the American tourists when he fleeces them.)
END_CREATURE_DESCR

(REM verbs)

VERB
PUSH PRESS
PUT INSERT HANG
OPEN UNWRAP UNDO
Dummy_Verb1 ANSWER
Dummy_Verb2 TYPE KEY
Dummy_Verb3 WRITE
Dummy_Verb4 GIVE
Dummy_Verb5 FUCK SHIT CUNT BUGGER
Dummy_Verb6 BUY
Dummy_Verb7 INSERT
Dummy_Verb8 HIT THUMP STRIKE SMASH
Dummy_Verb9 SWAP SWOP EXCHANGE CHANGE REPLACE
Dummy_Verb10 SIT
Dummy_Verb11 STAND
Dummy_Verb12 TALK SPEAK
Dummy_Verb13 DRY WIPE
Dummy_Verb14 HANG
Dummy_Verb15 UNPLUG DISCONNECT
Dummy_Verb16 CASH
Dummy_Verb17 PAY
Dummy_Verb48 CHEAT1
Dummy_Verb49 CHEAT2
Dummy_Verb50 DEBUG
END_VERB