Locked in a tower in a castle by an evil duke — how annoying. And you’re not even a princess! Duke Esteban is demanding an outrageous ransom of your well-born and well-meaning but cash-strapped parents, a sum that they have no hope of paying. He knows that. His real goal is — well, they call it ravishment, but that word is far too refined to describe what’s going to happen to you in a few hours, when the deadline passes and no fat bags of gold have arrived. The only surprising part is that you haven’t been ravished already, only leered at. (Duke Esteban has surely practiced his leer in front of a mirror.)