"Ze French countryside is full of fresh air" by "Otto Grimwald" The story creation year is 2007. The release number is 3. The story genre is "speedif". The story headline is "A decredibilizing SpeedIF (for the French society)". The story description is "The dastardly Francophones have stolen the Spirit of Speed-IF; now, our hero must journey to a francophone land in order to retrieve it. Bonus points for including a T'ang dynasty ashtray, a preserved homunculus, phlogiston, an especially fearsome goat, the taste of defeat, and/or 9-dimensional creme brulee. Entries due in by Sunday night (Aug 26 2007) - http://ifiction.free.fr". Use full-length room descriptions. Use no scoring. Understand "help" or "hints" or "walkthrough" as a mistake ("Well, it's my first game in English, and as you probably know, French people are not especially talented with foreign langages. I've also spent more than 2 hours in order to finish it, but I couldn't find again the taste of defeat (I've also written a speedIF in French this morning...). The topic of this speedIF was quite exagerated, so I've put many clichés in this little game. I don't write this kind of stuffs in normal times... I hope you won't get bored before finding the spirit of SpeedIF anyway... [paragraph break]In the case you're wondering, here is the walkthrough : [paragraph break]z/z/x meal/break bars/x ashtray/take ashtray/take straw/x meal/z/x meal/put meal on bars/break bars/attack goat/exit."). Part 1 - Places Countryside is a region. Caserne is a room. The description of Caserne is "You are in the main courtyard of this ugly military settlement.[if not visited][paragraph break]- 'Jérome, bring ze prisonnier!' [paragraph break]- 'Yes mon Capitaine! Here you are. Our little prisonner who tried to break the lines of the Carapagne Kingdom... Stand up now in front of ze Capitaine!...'[paragraph break]So you've been caught. A failure for the honor of the Republic of the United Freelands. Your mission was to retrieve the spirit of the SpeedIF, stolen by some dastardly Francophones, and hidden in the insignifiant Kingdom of ... Carapagne. But for some reasons you were betrayed, and caught, and brought... here. The prison of Saint Margueleine is known for being the last place a civilized spy like you would spend the rest if his life...". Capitain is a man in caserne. The description of capitain is "A fat man with grey hair.". Understand "man/capitain/capitaine/captain/fat" as Capitain. Instead of attacking capitain: say "'Aïe aïe aïe... pourquoi s'attaquer à plus fort que soi?'"; end the game in death. Jerome is a man in caserne. The description of jerome is "A slim man with red moustache.". Understand "man/jerome/slim" as Jerome. Instead of listening while in caserne, say "They are listening to some stupid Mexican music, and the worse is they seem to enjoy it." Cellar is a room. The description of Cellar is "The grey walls are covered with some obscene flashy paintings. The only opening is a small window with bars". Fields is a room. Fields is in Countryside. The description of Fields is "You are in a field. [if not visited]It's really true that the French countryside is full of fresh air. You've never felt so good in your life, especially after being in this gloomy jail. You've just discovered the spirit of SpeedIF can be in every country. You can't keep it only for you. It's everywhere. What a revelation! [otherwise][end if]With some peace in mind, you can exit from here now. If you can.". HQ is a room. HQ is outside from Fields. The description of HQ is "We won't detail all the adventures you've met during your way back. But after some days, you've been back to your civilized country.". The printed name of HQ is "Your HeadQuarter, somewhere 20 feet under the sea." Part 2 - Scenes (well sort of) Jailed is a scene. Jailed begins when the player is in Caserne for the 2nd turns. Jailed ends when the player is in Countryside for the first turn. When Jailed begins: say "The two men laugh at you, talk briefly together in an idiom you can't understand, even with your Oxrrap's evening lessons, (sincerely, who could make something out of 'ah oui voilà, bon ben ok d'accord, ouais c'te meuf trop bonne...'), and tell you later it's time for lunch."; say "The slim one sends you to a tiny jail, and bring you a plate which is supposed to be the meal."; move player to Cellar. Table of Temperatures degre Coolness 40 hot 35 hot 30 hot 25 warm 20 warm 15 warm 10 warm 5 cold 0 cold The temperature is a number variable. The temperature is 40. Refroidissement is a scene. Refroidissement begins when Jailed begins. Refroidissement ends when the temperature is 0. Every turn during refroidissement: choose row with a degre of temperature in the table of temperatures; decrease the temperature by 5. When refroidissement ends: now the meal is cold. BackToCivilization is a scene. BackToCivilization begins when the player is in HQ for the first turn. When BackToCivilization begins: say "Your boss arrives, with a big smile : 'Did you know, we've found again the Spirit of SpeedIF, and a new competition will be held next week!' [line break]You tell him about what you've found out, he seems not to care much about this.'Well well, so far, so good. How were your holidays in France? It wasn't France? Carapagne? Never heard of it. Could you find one of those delicious 9-dimensional creme brulee at least?"; end the game in victory; say "Well, sort of won, you didn't bring back the 9-dimensional creme brulee, did you?". Part 3 - Things A thing can be hot, warm or cold. The meal is hot. The meal is edible in cellar. Understand "meal/sauce/juice/legs/frotz/frogs" as meal. Instead of examining meal for the first time: say "Oh no, how can it be, it is green, it is small, it is some frotz's legs! The frotz are some small animals only found in your country, and you always loved them, they are considered bringers of luck and happiness, and are also supposed to be the recipients of the SpeedIF spirit it is said. Now you understand why your mission is so critical. Those pigs may threaten the spirit of SpeedIF to whoever can know... how sad. "; choose row with a degre of temperature in the table of temperatures; say "The meal is [coolness entry], but it will probably get warmer soon."; Instead of examining meal: say "It's a plate of frotz's legs with a juicy and smelly sauce."; choose row with a degre of temperature in the table of temperatures; say "The meal is [coolness entry]."; The table is in cellar. The ashtray is on table. The description of ashtray is "It's a T'ang dynasty ashtray, you can bet for sure. Your father is a politician, but your mother is an antiquarian, and she's told you everything about the T'ang dynasty ashtrays. And even about the Sung dolls and the Yuan knifes. Unfortunately, she forgot about the Ming vases and how to escape a prison. How can those morons put such a nice thing in a place like this? Do we drink their wine with icecube? Well, sometimes... ** sigh **." Understand "ashtray/tray" as ashtray. Some straw bed is in cellar. Instead of taking straw bed: now the printed name of straw bed is "straw"; say "You take some straw from the bed. Who knows, maybe it will please some fearsome goat you may encounter outside..."; continue the action. The paintings are scenery in cellar. The description of paintaings are "Some ugly graffitis probably made by non-humans artists". Instead of attacking or rubbing paintings: say "You remove the sight of those primitive paintings. Now your cellar looks nicer."; remove paintings from play. Some bars are supporter in cellar. They are fixed in place. Understand "bars/metal/window" as bars. The bars can be breakable. The bars are not breakable. Instead of attacking bars: if the bars are breakable begin; say "You manage to break to bars as they were in icecream, and find you way out of the cellar."; move player to Fields; otherwise; say "It's hopeless, it seems those steels bars are even more solid than the French are obstinates."; end if. Instead of putting meal on bars: If meal is cold begin; say "You did it. The meal was so cold it just froze the bars to ice. ** hints ** It should be easy to break now ** blink blink **. Don't be afraid, you've spoiled slimy legs of frotz everywhere, but the spirit of SpeedIF can only be found in living frogs, errr... frotz."; remove meal from play; now the bars are breakable; otherwise; say "You shouldn't do that yet. It's too warm still."; end if. Instead of eating meal: If meal is hot begin; say "Good idea. While training at the H.Q of the IFMUD, one of your masters in disguise taught you the way of the ninja. You've learned how to eat very hot dishes and disappear in a cloud of smoke. Now you're a phlogiston, and you can really go everywhere. But the sad part is you're dead and will never be able to get back the spirit of SpeedIF which a made of marshmallow and chewing-gum as everyone know. (Hopefully you can still type 'undo')."; End the game in death; otherwise; say "The french food is known to be the best, but it probably didn't get this title because of this receipe.[line break]It was not that bad, but not so kind for your stomach either. ** Spoiler ** What you didn't know is you've just lost the only opportunity to escape this prison. If you don't want to keep this taste of defeat in mouth for too long, please strike the undo key on your keyboard, or just type it if you wish..."; end if. The fearsome goat is a male animal in fields. The description of the fearsome goat is "It's not as frightening as the French grammar you had to learn before starting your mission, but this goat is impressing for sure." Attacking it with is an action applying to two things. Understand "attack [something] with [something]" as attacking it with. Instead of attacking the fearsome goat with ashtray, try attacking the fearsome goat. Instead of attacking the fearsome goat: if the player has ashtray begin; say "You throw the valuable T'ang dynasty ashtray to the goat, killing him immediately, but breaking the asktray into several pieces.". remove goat from play; remove ashtray from play; otherwise; say "Do you think it would have been so easy without any weapon?"; end the game in death; end if. Instead of giving straw bed to the fearsome goat: say "It seems to be happy with it, as predicted. It leaves without harming you."; remove goat from play. Instead of going outside from the fields when the goat is in location: say "It's not possible." Test me with "z/z/x meal/break bars/x ashtray/take ashtray/take straw/x meal/z/x meal/put meal on bars/break bars/attack goat/exit"