Message "[Including ]"; !OKB's menu conversation code !Include "GxScript.h"; Class Thingy ! Just another name for Object, used in ChooseObject for ! scope exclusion ; Class Stiffy_Room has light, with picture NULL, before [x ; Look,Examine: if (self.picture) { DrawBigPic(self); objectloop (x in self) { if (x ofclass StiffyActor) { DrawObjectPic(x); } } } rfalse; ], each_turn [; DrawBigPic(self); ], after [; ! Remove picture of objects no longer in scope Go: if (object_obj) { if (testscope(object_obj,player) == 0) { ClearWindow(gg_objectwin); object_obj = 0; object_pic = 0; } } ], ; Class Starship_Room ! Where the computer can hear you class Stiffy_Room with name "starship" "ship" "room", ; Class MyObject with picture NULL, before [; Examine,Look: if (self.picture) { DrawObjectPic(self); } rfalse; ], ; Class StiffyPenis class MyObject ! Because I don't want to have to type all these synonyms repeatedly with name "penis" "stiffy" "dong" "dick" "cock" "choad" "wiener" "thingy" "tallywhacker" "rod" "yard" "staff" "boner" "bone" "wang" "crank" "unit" "johnson" "woody" "snotrocket" "shaft" "jizzblaster", has scenery, ; Class StiffyActor class Character with picture NULL, before [; Examine,Look: if (self.picture) { DrawObjectPic(self); } rfalse; Take: <>; Kiss, Fuck, Smell, Taste: "You are rebuffed. ", (name) self," would rather you didn't."; ], life [; Ask, Tell, Answer: "To talk to ", (name) self," use ",(italics) " TALK TO ", (name) self , "."; Give: if (noun == penis) <>; ], orders [; "To give orders to ", (name) self," use ",(italics) "TALK TO ", (name) self, "."; ], initQuips [; ;], ; Class StiffyMan class StiffyActor has proper male, ; Class StiffyWoman class StiffyActor has proper female, ; Class Orifice with before [; Receive: if (noun == penis) <>; "The use of ", (a) noun, " as a sex toy is not implemented by this game. Sorry."; ], has scenery open container, ; ! The Master Daemon Object Master_daemon "master_daemon" with daemon[; penis.daemon(); if ((dark_moose has general) && (dark_moose hasnt moved) && (real_location == darkroom) && (dark_moose in darkroom)) dark_moose.daemon(); if (location == thedark) { FloodFillWindow(gg_graphicwin,$000000); FloodFillWindow(gg_objectwin,$000000); } ! We've done the holodeck and Terri, so time to move the ! plot along if ((scene == 1) && (terri_room has general) && (realdoll has visited) && (location ofclass Starship_Room)) { self.counter = 0; scene = 2; } if (scene == 2) { ! Three turns after we finish the first two tasks... self.counter++; if (self.counter == 3) { scene = 3; penis.setStatus(0); print "^^^^Time passes.^^Some hours later, you're sitting in the chair on the bridge admiring the view, when...^^"; PressKey(); ClearWindow(gg_mainwin); move uniform to player; give uniform worn; DrawStiffyPic(pic_uniform); PlayerTo(Chair); PlaySound(gg_forechannel,snd_alert,0,3,TRUE); move screen_moose to bridge; viewscreen.picture = pic_smandb; print "^The computer interrupts your reverie.^^"; print "~Life forms approaching. Terran Cervoid, Bipedal, Heavy Smegma Readings. Also, Badger, Bionic.~^^"; DrawObjectPic(screen_moose); "A moose, in a uniform, appears on the screen."; } } if ((scene == 4) && (morningmoose has general) && (olmak has general)) { ! We finished the Morning After and told the computer ! to set the new course, so we have a cut scene ! leading to K'aa'k scene = 5; remove morningmoose; dummy.picture = pic_deathstar; DrawBigPic(dummy); ClearWindow(gg_objectwin); player.description = "You've become really buff since training with Space Moose"; player.picture = pic_tom; print "^It's a long way to Olmak, and on the journey, Space Moose teaches you many things. He trains you in the Tantric Arts of Making Your Man Happy. He teaches you the Jedi Secret of sphincter relaxation. He shows you how to deep-throat anything up to the size of a watermelon. He tells you of your upbringing, of how the Dread Klingon Rear Admiral K'aa'k, who was once Space Moose's student, murdered your father in the Clone Wars.^^This is really interesting stuff, especially since you had always actually believed that your parents were who they claimed to be, and that you really were just the son of Fred and Ethel Makane, living at 50 State Highway 120, East Rutherford, New Jersey. The more fool you! Why, you'd never even ", (italics) "heard", " of the Clone Wars.^^"; print "Your Tantric Jedi Training is long and involved, and includes much instruction in the effective use of your ejaculatory muscles. As Space Moose explains, cumming shouldn't be ~As clumsy and random as a blaster, but an elegant response, for a more civilized age.~^^Soon, you can hit a dime-sized target fifty feet away...with your eyes closed.^^"; print "On the journey, there's a scary moment when Space Moose turns white and claims he senses a Great Disturbance in the Force, but you figure that's just because you have your right arm up to your elbow in his ass.^^"; print "Then you get to the Olmak System, and pop out of hyperspace right into, wouldn't you know it, a friggin' asteroid belt. And you can't even find Olmak, but there's a big shiny moon where it looks like maybe you could ask for directions. Only, as it happens, by the time you realize that that's no moon, it's a space station, it's way too late, and you're caught in the tractor beam.^^"; print "Then follow a series of amusing adventures running around this space station trying to avoid K'aa'k and his minions. Clearly wherever this place was built had a pretty lax construction code because it's just riddled with bottomless pits with no railings around them, and retracting bridges over them with no railings, and that sort of thing.^^"; PressKey(); dummy.picture = pic_point; DrawObjectPic(dummy); print "^^So, to make a long story slightly less long, you've nearly snuck back into the ship, having deactivated the tractor beam, when K'aa'k comes stepping through the door, pulls his thick, purple, pulsating light sabre from his pants, and snarls, ~We meet again, Space Moose. But this time, ", (italics) "I", " am the master.^^"; print "Space Moose sneers. ~You cannot win, K'aa'k. If you strike me down, I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine.~ Space Moose turns and points at you, winks, and vanishes from his uniform a split second before K'aa'k slashes through it with his light sabre.^^"; print "Clearly the intelligent thing to do would be to make a break for it, and, indeed, you seem to hear Space Moose's voice inside your head, counselling, ~Run, Stiffy, run!~ So instead you drop to your knees and scream ~Noooooooooooooo!~^^"; print "You are, of course, soon captured and relieved of all your possessions.^^"; ! cf. DM4, p. 169 print "You are prepared as all K'aa'k's captive sacrifices are: the ship's doctor, Maharg Noslen, performs the ritual blood-letting from your tongue and penis, which is no fun at all. Then you are injected with Viagra (or possibly ViGro--you never could read Klingon that well) and tossed into the arena to meet your fate.^^"; move rohypnol to nightstand; move fiver to nightstand; give uniform ~worn; move uniform to limbo; while (child(player)) { move child(player) to limbo; } move penis to player; PressKey(); print "^"; DrawObjectPic(kaak); DrawBigPic(arena); DrawStiffyPic(pic_penis_greasy); PlayerTo(arena); move kaak to arena; PlaySound(gg_backchannel,mus_klingon,true); penis.setStatus(15); "^A voice comes from the loudspeakers mounted around the arena. ~You, Prisoner Number 69,105, have been sentenced to the Klingon Amusement of Ro-Sham-Bo against Dread Rear Admiral K'aa'k. The rules are simple. He goes first. If you survive whatever he does to you, you can do it to him. If you should survive, you may leave. For your information, no prisoner has ever survived. You may begin.~^^K'aa'k leaps from the grandstands into the arena and grins ferally at you, his Klingon trousers bulging with menace."; } if ( (scene == 5) && (location == arena) && (kaak in arena)) { kaak.daemon(); ! Only run if he's here with us } if ((scene == 6) && (excretus has general)) { ! Only start the clock after we're done talking to ! Excretus self.counter++; if (rohypnol has general) { switch (self.counter - rohypnol.counter) { 5: print "^You are feeling very romantic.^"; 10: print "^You feel downright drunk.^"; 20: deadflag = 3; "^The roofies overpower you, and you pass out. So at least you don't mind much when the Borg crush your ship and assimilate you. You mind even less when you realize that means you get to wear tight black leather for the rest of your life. The only problem being, there isn't much ~you~ anymore."; } } switch (self.counter) { 5: "^The computer moans, ~Complete takeover in seven minutes.~"; 10: "^~Assimilation complete in five minutes.~"; 15: "^~Assimilation: two minutes,~ whines the computer."; 20: "^~Personality breach! Assim...~ shrieks the computer, and then, in quite a different voice, ~Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated.~"; 50: deadflag = 3; "^The ship collapses around you, as its useful bits are added to the Borg Cube. Your useful bits are also subsumed into the Borg. At least you look good in black leather."; } } if (scene == 7) { ! In rapport with the ship, struggling with the Borg self.counter++; if (self.counter > 8) { deadflag = 3; "^The Borg ship crushes the ",(italics)"Turgidity"," like a matchbox. You are also consumed by the Borg, but on the bright side, you get to wear form-fitting black leather."; } if (self.counter > 4) { if (shield has general) print "^The Borg ship squeezes the ", (italics) "Turgidity", "'s hull, but the shields, although straining, hold.^"; else { deadflag = 3; "^The Borg ship squeezes the ", (italics) " Turgidity",", which explodes like an overripe tomato. You are quickly subsumed by the Borg, but at least you look sexy in black leather."; } } if (self.counter > 2) { print "^The Borg ship pulls the ",(italics) "Turdigity", " farther into a cavernous space within it.^"; } } ], counter 0, ; ! Limbo ! Used for storage of objects that we want to hide, and to shuffle ! around possessions for the Holodeck scenes Object Limbo "limbo" with description "Kind of a formless void, eh? You can hardly see for all the unbaptized babies.", has light, ; ! Completely gratuitous. Happy TXDing. MyObject->infants "babies" with name "babies" "infants" "unbaptized" "children", description "Dead unbaptized children are stacked up in ranks, billions of them. Ew.", has scenery, ; MyObject->dummy with name "dummy", description "How amazingly realistic!", picture NULL, has scenery, ; ! Nautical Directions CompassDirection fore_obj "fore" compass with name "fore" "f", door_dir n_to, ; CompassDirection aft_obj "aft" compass with name "aft" "a", door_dir s_to, ; CompassDirection port_obj "port" compass with name "port" "p", door_dir w_to, ; CompassDirection starboard_obj "starboard" compass with name "starboard" "st" "sb", door_dir e_to, ;