You're at end of road again. You are standing at the end of a road before a small brick building. Around you is a forest. A small stream flows out of the building and down a gully. You're at hill in road. You have walked up a hill, still in the forest. The road slopes back down the other side of the hill. There is a building in the distance. You're inside building. You are inside a building, a well house for a large spring. You're in valley. You are in a valley in the forest beside a stream tumbling along a rocky bed. You're in forest. You are in open forest, with a deep valley to one side. You're in forest. You are in open forest near both a valley and a road. You're at slit in streambed. At your feet all the water of the stream splashes into a 2-inch slit in the rock. Downstream the streambed is bare rock. You're outside grate. You are in a 20-foot depression floored with bare dirt. Set into the dirt is a strong steel grate mounted in concrete. A dry streambed leads into the depression. You're below the grate. You are in a small chamber beneath a 3x3 steel grate to the surface. A low crawl over cobbles leads inward to the west. You're in cobble crawl. You are crawling over cobbles in a low passage. There is a dim light at the east end of the passage. You're in debris room. You are in a debris room filled with stuff washed in from the surface. A low wide passage with cobbles becomes plugged with mud and debris here, but an awkward canyon leads upward and west. A note on the wall says "Magic word XYZZY". You are in an awkward sloping east/west canyon. You're in bird chamber. You are in a splendid chamber thirty feet high. The walls are frozen rivers of orange stone. An awkward canyon and a good passage exit from east and west sides of the chamber. You're at top of small pit. At your feet is a small pit breathing traces of white mist. An east passage ends here except for a small crack leading on. Rough stone steps lead down the pit. You're in Hall of Mists. You are at one end of a vast hall stretching forward out of sight to the west, filled with wisps of white mist that sway to and fro almost as if alive. Rough stone steps lead up to a passage at the top of a dome above you. A wide staircase runs downward into the darkness; a chill wind blows up from below. There are small passages to the north and south, and a small crack leads east. You're on east bank of fissure. You are on the east bank of a fissure slicing clear across the hall. The mist is quite thick here, and the fissure is too wide to jump. You are on the west side of the fissure in the Hall of Mists. You're in nugget of gold room. This is a low room with a crude note on the wall. The note says, "You won't get it up the steps". You're in Hall of Mt King. You are in the Hall of the Mountain King, with passages off in all directions. You're at west end of Twopit room. You are at the west end of the Twopit room. There is a large hole in the wall above the pit at this end of the room. You're at east end of Twopit room. You are at the east end of the Twopit room. The floor here is littered with thin rock slabs, which make it easy to descend the pits. There is a path here bypassing the pits to connect passages from east and west. There are holes all over, but the only big one is on the wall directly over the west pit where you can't get to it. You're in east pit. You are at the bottom of the eastern pit in the Twopit room. There is a small pool of oil in one corner of the pit. You're in west pit. You are at the bottom of the western pit in the Twopit room. There is a large hole in the wall about 25 feet above you. You're in a low N/S passage. You are in a low N/S passage at a hole in the floor. The hole goes down to an E/W passage. You are in the south side chamber. You're in the west side chamber. You are in the west side chamber of the Hall of the Mountain King. A passage continues west and up here. You're at "Y2". You are in a large room, with a passage to the south, a passage to the west, and a wall of broken rock to the east. There is a large "Y2" on a rock in the room's center. You are in a jumble of rock, with cracks everywhere. You're at window on pit. You're at a low window overlooking a huge pit, which extends up out of sight. A floor is indistinctly visible over 50 feet below. Traces of white mist cover the floor of the pit, becoming thicker to the right. Marks in the dust around the window would seem to indicate that someone has been here recently. Directly across the pit from you and 25 feet away there is a similar window looking into a lighted room. A shadowy figure can be seen there peering back at you. You're at window on pit. You're at a low window overlooking a huge pit, which extends up out of sight. A floor is indistinctly visible over 50 feet below. Traces of white mist cover the floor of the pit, becoming thicker to the left. Marks in the dust around the window would seem to indicate that someone has been here recently. Directly across the pit from you and 25 feet away there is a similar window looking into a lighted room. A shadowy figure can be seen there peering back at you. You're in dirty passage. You are in a dirty broken passage. To the east is a crawl. To the west is a large passage. Above you is a hole to another passage. You are on the brink of a small clean climbable pit. You are on the brink of a small clean climbable pit. A crawl leads west. You are at the pit's bottom with a stream nearby. You are in the bottom of a small pit with a little stream, which enters and exits through tiny slits. You're in dusty rock room. You are in a large room full of dusty rocks. There is a big hole in the floor. There are cracks everywhere, and a passage leading east. You're at west end of Hall of Mists. You are at the west end of Hall of Mists. A low wide crawl continues west and another goes north. To the south is a little passage 6 feet off the floor. You are in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike. Dead end. You're at brink of pit. You are on the brink of a thirty foot pit with a massive orange column down one wall. You could climb down here but you could not get back up. The maze continues at this level. You're at east end of long hall. You are at the east end of a very long hall apparently without side chambers. To the east a low wide crawl slants up. To the north a round two foot hole slants down. You're at west end of long hall. You are at the west end of a very long featureless hall. The hall joins up with a narrow north/south passage. You are at a crossover of a high N/S passage and a low E/W one. Dead end passage. Scratched on a rock is the message, "Stand where the statue gazes, and make use of the proper tool." You're at complex junction. You are at a complex junction. A low hands and knees passage from the north joins a higher crawl from the east to make a walking passage going west. There is also a large room above. The air is damp here. You're back at Bedquilt. You are in Bedquilt, a long east/west passage with holes everywhere. To explore at random select NORTH, SOUTH, UP, or DOWN. You're in Swiss cheese room. You are in a room whose walls resemble Swiss cheese. Obvious passages go west, east, NE, and NW. Part of the room is occupied by a large bedrock block. You're in Slab room. You are in a large low circular chamber whose floor is an immense slab fallen from the ceiling (Slab room). East and west there once were large passages, but they are now filled with boulders. Low small passages go north and south, and the south one quickly bends west around the boulders. You are in a secret N/S canyon above a large room. You are in a secret N/S canyon above a sizable passage. You're at junction of three secret canyons. You are in a secret canyon at a junction of three canyons, bearing north, south, and SE. The north one is as tall as the other two combined. You are in a large low room. Crawls lead north, SE, and SW. Dead end crawl. You're in secret E/W canyon above tight canyon. You are in a secret canyon which here runs E/W. It crosses over a very tight canyon 15 feet below. If you go down you may not be able to get back up. You are at a wide place in a very tight N/S canyon. The canyon here becomes too tight to go further south. You are in a tall E/W canyon. You are in a tall E/W canyon. A low tight crawl goes 3 feet north and seems to open up. The canyon runs into a mass of boulders -- dead end. The canyon runs into a mass of boulders -- dead end. Scratched on one of the boulders are the words, "Jerry Cornelius was here." You're in narrow corridor. You are in a long, narrow corridor stretching out of sight to the west. At the eastern end is a hole through which you can see a profusion of leaves. You're at steep incline above large room. You are at the top of a steep incline above a large room. You could climb down here, but you would not be able to climb up. There is a passage leading back to the north. You're in Giant room. You are in the Giant room. The ceiling here is too high up for your lamp to show it. Cavernous passages lead east, north, and south. On the west wall is scrawled the inscription, "Fee Fie Foe Foo" {sic}. You are at one end of an immense north/south passage. You're in cavern with waterfall. You are in a magnificent cavern with a rushing stream, which cascades over a sparkling waterfall into a roaring whirlpool which disappears through a hole in the floor. Passages exit to the south and west. You're in soft room. You are in the soft room. The walls are covered with heavy curtains, the floor with a thick pile carpet. Moss covers the ceiling. You're in Oriental room. This is the Oriental room. Ancient oriental cave drawings cover the walls. A gently sloping passage leads upward to the north, another passage leads SE, and a hands and knees crawl leads west. You're in misty cavern. You are following a wide path around the outer edge of a large cavern. Far below, through a heavy white mist, strange splashing noises can be heard. The mist rises up through a fissure in the ceiling. The path exits to the south and west. You're in alcove. You are in an alcove. A small NW path seems to widen after a short distance. An extremely tight tunnel leads east. It looks like a very tight squeeze. An eerie light can be seen at the other end. You're in Plover room. You're in a small chamber lit by an eerie green light. An extremely narrow tunnel exits to the west. A dark corridor leads NE. You're in Dark room. You're in the Dark room. A corridor leading south is the only exit. You're in arched hall. You are in an arched hall. A coral passage continues up and east. The air smells of sea water. You're in Shell room. You're in a large room carved out of sedimentary rock. The floor and walls are littered with bits of shells imbedded in the stone. A shallow passage proceeds downward, and a somewhat steeper one leads up. A low hands and knees passage enters from the south. You are in a long sloping corridor with ragged sharp walls. You are in a cul-de-sac about eight feet across. You're in anteroom. You are in an anteroom leading to a large passage to the east. Small passages go west and up. The remnants of recent digging are evident. A sign in midair here says "Cave under construction beyond this point. Proceed at own risk. {Witt Construction Company}" You are in a maze of twisty little passages, all different. You're at Witt's End. You are at Witt's End. Passages lead off in *all* directions. You're in mirror canyon. You are in a north/south canyon about 25 feet across. The floor is covered by white mist seeping in from the north. The walls extend upward for well over 100 feet. Suspended from some unseen point far above you, an enormous two-sided mirror is hanging parallel to and midway between the canyon walls. (The mirror is obviously provided for the use of the dwarves, who as you know, are extremely vain.) A small window can be seen in either wall, some fifty feet up. You're at top of stalactite. A large stalactite extends from the roof and almost reaches the floor below. You could climb down it, and jump from it to the floor, but having done so you would be unable to reach it to climb back up. You are in a little maze of twisting passages, all different. You're on southern edge of reservoir. You are on the southern edge of a large underground reservoir. A thick cloud of white mist fills the room, rising from the surface of the water and drifting rapidly upwards. The lake is fed by a stream, which tumbles out of a hole in the wall about 10 feet overhead and splashes noisily into the water near the reservoir's northern wall. A dimly-seen passage exits through the northern wall, but you can't get across the water to get to it. Another passage leads south from here. You are at the northern end of the reservoir. You are at the northern end of a large underground reservoir. Across the water to the south, a dark passage is visible. Another passage leads north from here. Large, clawed tracks are visible in the damp ground, leading from the passage into the water. You're in small, warm chamber. You are in a small chamber with warm walls. Mist drifts into the chamber from a passage entering from the south and evaporates in the heat. Another passage leads out to the northeast. You're on balcony above treasure chamber. You are in a high balcony carved out of solid rock overlooking a large, bare chamber lit by dozens of flickering torches. A rushing stream pours into the chamber through a two-foot slit in the east wall and drains into a large pool along the north side of the chamber. A small plaque riveted to the edge of the balcony reads, "You are looking at the Witt Company's main treasure room, constructed by the famous architect Ralph Witt in 4004 B.C., and dedicated to the proposition that all adventurers are created equal (although some are more equal than others). NO ADMITTANCE VIA THIS ENTRANCE!" A small, dark tunnel leads out to the west. You're at slit in streambed. At your feet all the water of the stream splashes into a 2-foot slit in the rock. Downstream the streambed is bare rock. You're in cylindrical chamber. You are in a small cylindrical room with very smooth walls and a flat floor and ceiling. There are no exits visible anywhere. You plunge into the stream and are carried down into total blackness. Deeper and deeper you go, down into the very bowels of the earth, until your lungs are aching with the need for fresh air. Suddenly, with a violent >splash!!< you find yourself sitting on the edge of a pool of water in a vast chamber lit by dozens of flaring torches. The floor is covered with thick layers of precious Persian rugs! Rare coins, bars of silver, and lumps of gold and platinum are strewn carelessly about! There are diamonds, rubies, sapphires, emeralds, opals, pearls, and fabulous sculptures and ornaments carved out of jade and imperishable crystal resting on display shelves, along with rare Ming vases and ancient Indian turquoise beads! A flotilla of ruby-encrusted toy boats is floating in the pool of water beside you! A network of golden chains supports a fantastic Iridium crown! There is a display case on the wall filled with a fantastic selection of magical swords, which are singing "Hail to the Chief" in perfect pitch and rhythm! There are a dozen friendly little dwarves in the room, displaying their talents by deftly juggling hundreds of golden eggs! A large troll, a gigantic ogre, and a bearded pirate are tossing knives, axes, and clubs back and forth in a friendly demonstration of martial skill! A horde of cheerful little gooseberry goblins are performing talented acrobatics to an appreciative audience composed of a dragon, a large green snake, a cute little bird (which is sitting, unmolested, on the snake's head), a peaceful basilisk, and a large Arabian Djinn. Everyone turns and sees you, and lets out a heart-warming cheer of welcome! You're on SW side of chasm. You are on one side of a large, deep chasm. A heavy white mist rising up from below obscures all view of the far side. A SW path leads away from the chasm into a winding corridor. You're on NE side of chasm. You are on the far side of the chasm. A NE path leads away from the chasm on this side. You're in sloping corridor. You are in a long winding corridor sloping out of sight in both directions. You are in a secret canyon which exits to the north and east. You are in a secret canyon which exits to the north and east. You're in corridor. You're in a long east/west corridor. A faint rumbling noise can be heard in the distance. You're at fork in path. The path forks here. The left fork leads northeast. A dull rumbling seems to get louder in that direction. The right fork leads southeast down a gentle slope. The main corridor enters from the west. You're at junction with warm walls. The walls are quite warm here. From the north can be heard a steady roar, so loud that the entire cave seems to be trembling. Another passage leads south, and a low crawl goes east. You're at breath-taking view. You are on the edge of a breath-taking view. Far below you is an active volcano, from which great gouts of molten lava come surging out, cascading back down into the depths. The glowing rock fills the farthest reaches of the cavern with a blood-red glare, giving every- thing an eerie, macabre appearance. The air is filled with flickering sparks of ash and a heavy smell of brimstone. The walls are hot to the touch, and the thundering of the volcano drowns out all other sounds. Embedded in the jagged roof far overhead are myriad twisted formations composed of pure white alabaster, which scatter the murky light into sinister apparitions upon the walls. To one side is a deep gorge, filled with a bizarre chaos of tortured rock which seems to have been crafted by the devil himself. An immense river of fire crashes out from the depths of the volcano, burns its way through the gorge, and plummets into a bottomless pit far off to your left. Across the gorge, the entrance to a valley is dimly visible. To the right, an immense geyser of blistering steam erupts continuously from a barren island in the center of a sulfurous lake, which bubbles ominously. The far right wall is aflame with an incandescence of its own, which lends an additional infernal splendor to the already hellish scene. A dark, foreboding passage exits to the south. You're at the south end of the Valley of the Stone Faces. You are standing at the southern end of a long valley illuminated by flickering red light from the volcanic gorge behind you. Carved into the walls of the valley is an incredible series of stone faces. Some of them look down into the valley with expressions of benevolence that would credit a saint; others glare with a malice that makes the heart grow faint. All of them are imbued with a fantastic seeming of life by the shifting and flickering light of the volcano. The entire far end of the valley is taken up by an immense carving of a seated figure; its exact form cannot be seen from here due to the uncertainty of the light. You're at north end of the Valley of the Stone Faces. You are standing at the north end of the Valley of the Stone Faces. Above you, an incredible bas-relief statue of an immense minotaur has been carved out of the rock. At least sixty feet high, it sits gazing down at you with a faint but definite expression of amusement. Between its feet and the floor is a rock wall about ten feet high which extends across the entire north end of the valley. You're at south end of fog-filled room. You are standing at the southern end of what appears to be a large room filled with multicolored fog. The sides and far end of the room cannot be seen due to the thickness of the fog - it's a real pea-souper (even to the color in places!). A passage leads back to the south; a dull rumbling sound issues from the passage. You're in foggy room by cairn of rocks. You are standing in a fog-filled room next to a tall cairn of glowing rocks. An opening in the cairn leads down to a dark passage. You're in nondescript chamber. You're in a small, nondescript chamber. A dark passage leads up and to the south, and a wide but low crawl leads north. You're in room with pentagram. You're in a small room with a very smooth rock floor, onto which has been marked a pentagram. A low crawl leads out to the west, and a crack in the rock leads north. You're at the end of the crack, at the bottom of the chimney. The crack in the rock ends here, but a narrow chimney leads up. You should be able to climb it. You're in lava tube at top of chimney. You're at the top of a narrow chimney in the rock. A cylindrical tube composed of hardened lava leads south. You're at steep slide in lava tube. The lava tube continues down and to the south, but it becomes very steep here - if you go down it you probably won't be able to get back up. You're in rough and narrow passage. You are in a narrow and rough passage running north and south. A dull rumbling sound can be heard from the south. You're in rough passage to the north of the basilisk's den. You're at fork in passage by steps. The passage here enters from the south and divides, with a wide tunnel exiting to the north and a set of steps leading downward. You're on the steps. You are on a long, spiral set of steps leading downwards into the earth. You're at exit on steps. A small tunnel exits from the steps and leads north. The steps continue downwards. You're in the storage room. You're in what was once a storage room. A set of steps lead up. You're at "Y2"? You are in a large room, with a passage to the south, a passage to the west, and a wall of broken rock to the east. There is a large "Y2" on a rock in the room's center. You are in a jumble of rock, with cracks everywhere. You are in the catacombs. Enchanted tunnels lead in all directions. You're at west end of Audience Hall. You are standing at the west end of the royal Audience Hall. The walls here are composed of the finest marble, and the floor is built of slabs of rare onyx and bloodstone. The ceiling is high and vaulted, and is supported by pillars of rare Egyptian red granite; it gives off a nacreous glow that fills the entire chamber with a light like moon-light shining off of polished silver. You're at east end of Audience Hall. You are at the eastern end of the Audience Hall. There is a large dais rising out of the floor here; resting upon the dais is a strange- looking throne made out of interlocking bars and rods of metal. You're in winding passage. You are in a winding passage which enters from the northwest, loops around several times, and exits to the north. You're in golden chamber. You are in a chamber with golden walls and a high ceiling. Passages lead south, northeast, and northwest. You're in Arabesque room. You are in a small room whose walls are covered with an elaborate pattern of arabesque figures and designs. You're in room with translucent walls. You are in a large room whose walls are composed of some translucent whitish mineral. The room is illuminated by a flickering reddish glow shining through the southern wall. A passage leads east. You're in chamber of boulders. You are in a small chamber filled with large boulders. The walls are very warm, causing the air in the room to be almost stifling from the heat. The only exit is a crawl heading west, through which is coming a low rumbling. You're in limestone passage. You are walking along a gently sloping north/south passage lined with oddly shaped limestone formations. You are at entrance of the barren room. You are standing at the entrance to a large, barren room. A sign posted above the entrance reads: "Caution! Bear in room!" You are in the barren room. You are inside a barren room. The center of the room is completely empty except for some dust. Marks in the dust lead away toward the far end of the room. The only exit is the way you came in. You are in a maze of twisting little passages, all different. You are in a little maze of twisty passages, all different. You are in a twisting maze of little passages, all different. You are in a twisting little maze of passages, all different. You are in a twisty little maze of passages, all different. You are in a twisty maze of little passages, all different. You are in a little twisty maze of passages, all different. You are in a maze of little twisting passages, all different. You are in a maze of little twisty passages, all different. Dead end. You're in sandstone chamber. You are in a small chamber to the east of the Hall of Mists. The walls are composed of rough red sandstone. There is a large, cubical chunk of rock in the center of the room. You're in the Morion room. You are in a small room. The walls are composed of a dark, almost black form of smoky quartz; they glisten like teeth in the lamp-light. The only exit is the passage to the south through which you entered. You're in room with vaulted ceiling. You are in a room with a high, vaulted ceiling. A tunnel leads upwards and to the north. You're in Peelgrunt room. You are in the Peelgrunt room. You are in the safe. You are inside the safe. You are standing in a wide, north-and-south corridor. You're at bend in wide corridor. You are standing at a bend in a wide corridor which runs to the east and west. To the east, the corridor turns left and continues north; to the west, it turns left and continues south. You're in Tool room. You are in a small, low-ceilinged room with the words "Witt Company Tool Room - Melenkurion division" carved into one of the walls. A wide corridor runs south from here. You're at division in passage. You are at a division in a narrow passage. Two spurs run east and north; the main passage exits to the south. You're in dank cubicle. You are in a small, dank cubicle of rock. A small passage leads back out to the south; there is no other obvious exit. You're in spherical room. You're in a large, completely spherical room with polished walls. A narrow passage leads out to the north. You're in low tunnel with irregular ceiling. You are in a low tunnel with an irregular ceiling. To the north, the tunnel is partially blocked by a recent cave-in, but you can probably get past the blockage without too much trouble. You're in large room with glassy walls. You're standing in a very large room (which however is smaller than the Giant room) which has smooth, glassy-looking walls. A passage enters from the south and exits to the north. You're in the Sorcerer's Lair. This is the Sorcerer's Lair. The walls are covered with exotic runes written in strange, indecipherable scripts; the only readable phrase reads "noside samoht". Strange shadows flit about on the walls, but there is nothing visible to cast them. Iridescent blue light drips from a stalactite far above, falls towards the floor, and evaporates before touching the ground. A deep, resonant chanting sound vibrates from deep in the ground beneath your feet, and a whispering sound composed of the echoes of long-forgotten spells and cantrips seeps from the walls and fills the air. Passages exit to the east and west. You're at brink of bottomless pit. You are standing on the brink of what appears to be a bottomless pit plunging down into the bowels of the earth. Ledges run around the pit to the east and west, and a passage leads back to the north. You're on southern edge of bottomless pit. You are standing at the south end of a ledge running around the west side of a bottomless pit. The ledge once continued around to the east side of the pit, but was apparently obliterated by a rock-slide years ago. A cold wind blows out of a tunnel leading to the southeast. You're in Ice room. You are in the Ice room. The walls and ceiling here are composed of clear blue glacial ice; the floor is fortunately made of rock and is easy to walk upon. There is a passage leading to the northwest, and a slide of polished ice leading downwards to the east - if you were to slide down it you probably couldn't get back up. You're at bottom of icy slide. You're at the entrance to an extensive and intricate network of tunnels carved out of solid ice. A slippery slope leads upwards and north, but you cannot possibly climb up it. You are in an intricate network of ice tunnels. You're in small, icy chamber. You are in a small chamber melted out of the ice. Glowing letters in midair spell out the words "This way out". You're on eastern side of bottomless pit. You are standing on the eastern side of a bottomless pit. A narrow ledge runs north towards a dimly-visible passage; the ledge once continued south of this point but has been shattered by falling rock. A narrow crack in the rock leads northeast. You're in narrow, twisting crack. You are following a narrow crack in the rock which enters from the southwest, turns and twists somewhat, and exits to the southeast. You're at north end of tight passage. You are standing at the northern end of a rather tight passage. A narrow crack in the rock leads west. You're at south end of tight passage. You are at the southern end of a tight passage. A hands-and-knees crawl continues to the south. You're in very small chamber. You are in a very small chamber. A narrow crawl leads north. You're in coral passage. You are in an arched coral passage which enters from the west, splits, and continues on to the east over a smooth and damp-looking patch of sand. The fork in the passage once led to the south, but it is now completely blocked by debris. You're at bend in arched coral corridor. You are at a bend in an arched corral passage; the passage enters from the west over a patch of damp sand, turns, and continues north. You're at fork in arched corral passage. You are at a fork in a high, arched coral passage. The main portion of the passage enters from the south; two smaller passages lead east and north. The smell of salt water is very strong here. You're at entrance to the Jonah room. You are standing at the entrance of the Jonah room, a cavernous hall with high ribbed walls. The hall extends far to the south; a coral passage leads west. You're at south end of the Jonah room. You are at the south end of the Jonah room. Ahead of you, the way is barred by a large set of immense stalactites and stalagmites which intermesh like clenched teeth. Nothing except blackness is visible between the stone formations. You're in the Fourier passage. You are in the Fourier passage. This is a long and highly convoluted passage composed of coral, which twists and turns like the path of an earthworm tripping on LSD. The passage here enters from the northwest, convulses, and exits to the southwest (from which direction can be felt a cool and salty-smelling breeze). You're on shelf of rock above beach. You are standing on a large shelf of sedementary rock overlooking a lava beach. The shelf is an extension of an incredible cliff which extends north, south, and upwards for as far as the eye can see. Crudely carved steps lead down from the shelf to the beach, and a twisting coral passage exits to the west. You're on beach. You are standing on a short, barren beach composed of hardened lava. Rugged and unclimbable volcanic hills block all view to the north and south, and a seemingly infinite cliff fills the entire western hemisphere. To the east, a narrow inlet of ocean water laps gently upon the beach. The scene is illuminated by the light of three small moons shining through the shimmering glow of an aurora that fills the entire sky with golden splendor. Steps lead up the cliff to a shelf of rock. You're on tiny platform above volcano. You are precariously perched on a tiny platform suspended in midair. Two thousand feet below you is the mouth of a very active volcano, spewing out a river of hot lava. You are in Limbo. You are in Limbo (program bug!). Say OUT to get out of here. You are in Ylem. You are in Ylem (circular file for objects). The grate is locked. The grate is open. The way north is barred by a massive, rusty, iron door. The way north leads through a massive, rusty, iron door. A huge green fierce snake bars the way! A crystalline bridge now spans the fissure. The crystalline bridge has vanished! A massive stone tablet imbedded in the wall reads: "Congratulations on bringing light into the Dark room!" There is a tiny little plant in the pit, murmuring "Water, water, ..." The plant spurts into furious growth for a few seconds. There is a 12-foot-tall beanstalk stretching up out of the pit, bellowing "WATER!! WATER!!" The plant grows explosively, almost filling the bottom of the pit. There is a gigantic beanstalk stretching all the way up to the hole. You've over-watered the plant! It's shriveling up! It's, it's... The top of a 12-foot-tall beanstalk is poking out of the west pit. There is a huge beanstalk growing out of the west pit up to the hole. You are standing, badly befuddled, in a pale purple fog. You are wandering around in the middle of a bright red fog. You are lost in the midst of a thick, pea-green fog. You are trying to find your way through a dense coal-black fog. You are lost in the heart of a strange yellow fog. You are standing, badly bedazzled, in a day-glow orange fog. You are hunting your way through a shimmering magenta fog. You are somewhere in the center of a weird, pearly pink fog. A faint glow of light is visible through the fog to the east. A glimmer of light is visible through the fog in the west. A glow of light is visible through the fog to the north. A faint shimmer of light is visible to the south. A flickering light is visible through the fog in the northeast. A dim light is visible in the southeast. A dim glow of light is visible in the southwest. A dim flickering light is visible through the fog in the northwest. The shadowy figure seems to be trying to attract your attention. From somewhere in the distance comes an ominous bubbling sound. The bubbling sound grows louder. The bubbling sound ends with a loud >splash<. A hollow, echoing >ROAR< sounds in the distance. A strange throbbing sound can be heard in the distance. The throbbing sound is growing louder. The source of the throbbing sound is approaching quickly. Another hollow >ROAR< echoes through the cave. There is a loud >ROAR< only a short distance away!! Into view there bounces a horrible creature!! Six feet across, it resembles a large blob of translucent white jelly; although it looks massive, it is bouncing lightly up and down as though it were as light as a feather. It is emitting a constant throbbing sound, and it >ROARROARglop<, the volcano belches out an immense blast of molten lava which flies into the air above the gorge and suddenly solidifies into a fragile-looking arch of wheat-colored stone that bridges the gorge. There is a wheat-colored stone bridge arching over the gorge. The earth shudders violently, and steam blasts upwards from the geyser. The wheat-stone bridge cracks and splits, and the fragments fall into the gorge. Dark tunnels lead northeast, north, and northwest. The passage to the south is swathed with sheets of evil-looking green slime, which twitches and flows as if aware of your presence. There is a massive vending machine here. The instructions on it read: "Drop coins here to receive fresh batteries." A massive walk-in safe takes up one entire wall. It is tightly closed, and has no handle, lock, nor keyhole. A massive walk-in safe takes up one entire wall. Its door has been swung open and blocks the exit passage. A massive walk-in safe takes up one entire wall. It is closed, and there are signs of melting around the edges of its door. Resting on the throne ("sitting" isn't really the right word) is an incredible skeleton. It is fairly humanoid from the waist up (except for its incredible size and four extra arms); below that, it resembles the body of a giant python, and is wrapped in and around the bars and rods of the throne. Clutched in one bony hand is a long sceptre, ornately encrusted with sapphires!! There is a ferocious cave bear eying you from the far end of the room! There is a gentle cave bear sitting placidly in one corner. There is a contented-looking bear wandering about nearby. Batteries There are fresh batteries here. Some worn-out batteries have been discarded nearby. Lying upon the beach are the shattered remains of what must once have been a dinghy. The remains consist of little more than a few broken boards, upon one of which may be seen a crude sketch of a skull and two crossed thighbones (perhaps this dinghy was once owned by a cook?) The shattered remains of a dinghy lie forlornly on the beach. Bag filled with pieces of eight There is a bag (obviously filled with pieces of eight) in the dinghy! There is a bag filled with pieces of eight lying off to one side! Crown There is a massive crown made of solid iridium floating in midair! There is a massive iridium crown here! Large gold nugget There is a large sparkling nugget of gold here! Several diamonds There are diamonds here! Bars of silver There are bars of silver here! Precious jewelry There is precious jewelry here! Rare coins There are many coins here! Treasure chest The pirate's treasure chest is here, half-hidden behind a rock! The pirate's treasure chest is here! Golden eggs There is a large nest here, full of golden eggs! The nest of golden eggs has vanished! Done! Jeweled trident There is a jewel-encrusted trident here! Helmet There is a gem-encrusted visorless helmet sitting on the floor! Ming vase There is a delicate, precious, Ming vase here! The vase is now resting, delicately, on a velvet pillow. The Ming vase drops with a delicate crash. Worthless shards of pottery The floor is covered with worthless shards of pottery. Egg-sized emerald There is an emerald here the size of a plover's egg! Sapphire sceptre A sapphire-encrusted sceptre is lying on the ground! Ruby-covered toy yacht There is a small toy yacht sitting on the floor. It is totally covered with rubies, and has the words "Omar Khayyam" engraved on the side!! The ruby yacht of Omar Khayyam is sitting on the floor! Platinum pyramid There is a platinum pyramid here, 8 inches on a side! Glistening pearl Off to one side lies a glistening pearl! Persian rug There is a Persian rug spread out on the floor! Rare spices There are rare spices here! Ancient Indian turquoise beads. There is a string of ancient Indian turquoise beads draped casually over the edge of the balcony! There is a string of ancient Indian turquoise beads here! Golden chain There is a golden chain lying in a heap on the floor! The bear is locked to the wall with a golden chain! There is a golden chain locked to the wall! Mithril ring There is a shiny ring (crafted of the finest mithril) lying here! Scrimshaw spyglass There is a small spyglass carved out of whale baleen sitting here! Rock-crystal sculpture A finely-carved crystalline sculpture of a pig is resting in a niche melted out of the icy wall of the tunnel! There is a fine crystalline sculpture of a pig here! There is a fine crystalline sculpture of an eel here! There is a fine crystalline sculpture of an emu here! There is a fine crystalline sculpture of an elf here! There is a fine crystalline sculpture of a mouse here! There is a fine crystalline sculpture of a rabbit here! There is a fine crystalline sculpture of an ibex here! There is a fine crystalline sculpture of a frog here! There is a fine crystalline sculpture of a tiger here! There is a fine crystalline sculpture of a mule here! There is a fine crystalline sculpture of a moose here! Jade bracelet There is an ancient Chinese jade bracelet here! Casket of opals There is a casket full of rare black opals sitting on a shelf! There is a casket full of rare black opals here! Set of keys There are some keys on the ground here. Brass lantern There is a shiny brass lamp nearby. There is a lamp shining nearby. Wicker cage There is a small wicker cage discarded nearby. There is a small wicker cage nearby. Little bird in cage A cheerful little bird is sitting here singing. There is a little bird in the cage. Black rod A three foot black rod with a rusty star on an end lies nearby. Metal plate A highly polished metal plate is leaning against the wall. A polished metal plate lies nearby. Black rod A three foot black rod with a rusty mark on an end lies nearby. Velvet pillow A small velvet pillow lies on the floor. Giant clam >grunt!< There is an enormous clam here with its shell tightly closed. Giant oyster >groan!< There is an enormous oyster here with its shell tightly closed. Interesting. There seems to be something written on the underside of the oyster. "Spelunker Today" There are a few recent issues of "Spelunker Today" magazine here. Tasty food There is food here. Small bottle There is a bottle of water here. There is an empty bottle here. There is a bottle of oil here. Earthenware flask There is a sealed earthenware flask sitting in the center of the pentagram. There is a small, tightly-sealed earthenware flask on the ground here. It has the words, "London Dry" written on the side. There is a small, empty earthenware flask here. Water in the bottle Oil in the bottle Dwarf's axe There is a little axe here. There is a little axe lying beside the bear. Singing sword There is a sword here with its blade plunged deep into the block of stone. The sword is singing quietly to itself. There is a magic sword here, chiming out the bell-like tones of "Khumbu Ice-fall" by ringing its blade against the ground. There is a sword here, singing "A Day in the Life" in a quiet, introspective voice. There is a magic sword here, singing "Cold Blue Steel and Sweet Fire" to itself in a plaintive, hopeless voice. There is a sharp and obviously magical sword here. It is quietly humming excerpts from Prokofiev's "Romeo and Juliet" ballet to itself. There is a sword lying on the ground, jauntily whistling the March from Tchaikovsky's "Nutcracker Suite". There is a sharp sword lying here. It is (somehow) singing Tchaikovsky's "1812 Overture" in twelve parts, by itself! The stirring strains of Rossini's "William Tell" overture fill the room, coming from a singing sword lying on the ground. There is a singing sword lying on the ground. From it resound the massed voices of a two-hundred-singer choir, filling the air with the stirring sound of the Hallelujah Chorus from Handel's "Messiah". There is a sharp and shiny sword here. It is somehow managing to sing Harry Partch's "Daphne of the Dunes" without destroying its singing organs (whatever they happen to be...) There is a sword here, singing "Witchi-Tai-To" in two-part harmony with itself. There is a very strange singing sword here - it is glowing and vibrating, and the eerie electronic notes of Charles Wuorinen's "Time's Encomium" issue from its blade and fill the air. Several dragon's teeth There are several dragon's teeth scattered haphazardly about. There are several dragon's teeth in a pile on the floor. Vial of oily liquid On the ground lies a small glass vial filled with an oily liquid. The dwarf catches a lungful of the cloud, gags audibly and stumbles out of the room retching, sneezing, and cursing up a storm. The dwarves blanche in horror and dash away as fast as their brief and misshapen legs can carry them. The troll calmly waves the vapor away. The bear inhales some of the vapor and snarls angrily. The bear inhales some of the vapor and moans appreciatively. The snake completely ignores the vapor. The bird breathes in a miniscule amount of the vapor and immediately sings a twenty-second segment of Morton Subotnik's "Sidewinder". The slime filling the passage to the south blackens and shrivels away into nothingness. The dragon sniffs the air, rumbles deep in his chest, and shoots out a small puff of flame that ignites and incinerates the vapor. The djinn takes a deep sniff of the vapor and comments, "AH! A TRUELY FINE ARABIAN PERFUME! I HAVEN'T SMELLED ANYTHING LIKE THAT FOR YEARS!" The basilisk doesn't wake up. The gooseberry goblins sniff the vapor, screech in terror, and dash off into the distance. Mushroom There is a small mushroom growing on the wall. There is a small mushroom lying on the floor. As you swallow the mushroom your mouth becomes numb, and everything seems to swirl around you. The effect quickly passes, and you find that your muscles have bulged unbelievably. A strange malaise suddenly afflicts you. You shiver with chill, and your muscles seem to turn to putty; everything around you becomes grey and unreal. The fit quickly passes, and you find that your body has degenerated back to what it was like before you ate the mushroom. Suddenly and without warning, there appears from within the very cave walls around you a horde of vicious little goblins! Each one stands about eight inches high on a pair of spindly black legs, has a globular, spine-covered body resembling a giant gooseberry, a wide mouth filled with sharp teeth, and a pair of glittering little green eyes! They swarm around you and try to block your way. You are surrounded by a horde of silent little gooseberry goblins! One of the gooseberry goblins begins to giggle in a high-pitched voice. Another takes up the giggling, then another.... soon all of them are giggling insanely and jumping up and down with glee! You are surrounded by a giggling horde of little gooseberry goblins! The goblins are jumping up and down frantically, and are working themselves into a real slavering frenzy!! You are surrounded by a slavering horde of gooseberry goblins! With a shrill cry, the gooseberry goblins hurl themselves upon you, tickling you mercilessly. You crush and hurl away several of them, but are soon borne down to the ground by the endless attack. The goblins then gleefully rip out your throat, and you sink into unconsciousness. Welcome to the *new* MS Windows Adventure! Say "NEWS" to get up-to-date game details. This is the brand-spanking-new version of Windows Adventure. Its core is identical to a similar Unix version (compiled from the same source code), but it has got a new outfit. In case of errors in the Windows interface, please contact Wolfgang Strobl (strobl@gmd.de). If you have problems with the game itself, please contact one of the original authors below. The cave is essentially stable at this point except for bug fixes being done as needed. The cave is almost twice as big as before, and has lots of new creatures in it - have fun! Please contact the local game guru if anything weird happens (that is, anything weird that looks like it shouldn't happen). In particular, if you ever see the message "Glitch!", please save the printout for error analysis if that's possible. Credit goes to David Platt for the design and development of this new version of Adventure for the Xerox SIGMA-9 and other Honeywell systems. Ken Wellsch designed and wrote the C version for running on UNIX systems which uses the original database. Somewhere nearby is Colossal Cave, where others have found fortunes in treasure and gold, though it is rumored that some who enter are never seen again. Magic is said to work in the cave. I will be your eyes and hands. Direct me with commands of 1 or 2 words. I should warn you that I look at only the first six letters of each word. (Should you get stuck, type "HELP" for some general hints. For infor- mation on how to end your adventure, etc., type "INFO".) - - - If you have any problems, please contact the local game guru. A little dwarf with a big knife blocks your way. A little dwarf just walked around a corner, saw you, threw a little axe at you which missed, cursed, and ran away. There is a threatening little dwarf in the room with you! There are # threatening little dwarves in the room with you! One sharp nasty knife is thrown at you! # nasty sharp knives are thrown at you! None of them hit you! One of them gets you! A hollow voice says "Plugh". There is no way to go that direction. You have run into a wall of rock and can go no further in this direction. I am unsure how you are facing. Use compass points or nearby objects. I don't know in from out here. Use compass points or name something in the general direction you want to go. I don't know how to apply that word here. I don't understand that! I'm game. Would you care to explain how? Sorry, but I am not allowed to give more detail. I will repeat the long description of your location. It is now pitch dark. If you proceed you will likely fall into a pit. If you prefer, simply type W rather than WEST. Are you trying to catch the bird? The bird is frightened right now and you cannot catch it no matter what you try. Perhaps you might try later. Are you trying to somehow deal with the snake? You can't kill the snake, or drive it away, or avoid it, or anything like that. There is a way to get by, but you don't have the necessary resources right now. Do you really want to quit now? You fell into a pit and broke every bone in your body! You are already carrying it! You can't be serious! The bird was unafraid when you entered, but as you approach it becomes disturbed and you cannot catch it. You might be able to catch the bird, but you could not carry it. You aren't carrying it! I see no # here. The little bird attacks the green snake, and in an astounding flurry drives the snake away. You have no keys! It has no lock. I don't know how to lock or unlock such a thing. It was already locked. The grate is now locked. The grate is now unlocked. The lock seems to be stuck - the key refuses to turn! It was already unlocked. You have no source of light. Your lamp is now on. Your lamp is now off. There is no way to get past the bear to unlock the chain, which is probably just as well. Nothing happens. Where? There is nothing here to attack. The little bird is now dead. Its body disappears. Attacking the snake both doesn't work and is very dangerous. You killed a little dwarf. You attack a little dwarf, but he dodges out of the way. You attack a little dwarf, but he dodges out of the way and stabs you with his nasty sharp knife! With your bare hands?? Good try, but that is an old worn-out magic word. I know of places, actions, and things. Most of my vocabulary describes places and is used to move you there. To move, try words like FOREST, BUILDING, DOWNSTREAM, ENTER, EAST, WEST, NORTH, SOUTH, UP, or DOWN. I know about a few special objects, like a black rod hidden in the cave. These objects can be manipulated using some of the action words that I know. Usually you will need to give both the object and action words (in either order), but sometimes I can infer the object from the verb alone. Some objects also imply verbs; in particular, "INVENTORY" implies "TAKE INVENTORY", which causes me to give you a list of what you're carrying. The objects have side effects; for instance, the rod scares the bird. Usually people having trouble moving just need to try a few more words. Usually people trying unsuccessfully to manipulate an object are attempting something beyond their (or my!) capabilities and should try a completely different tack. To speed the game you can sometimes move long distances with a single word. For example, "BUILDING" usually gets you to the building from anywhere above ground except when lost in the forest. Also, note that cave passages turn a lot, and that leaving a room to the north does not guarantee entering the next from the south. Good luck! It misses! It gets you! You can't unlock the keys. You have crawled around in some little holes and wound up back in the main passage. I don't know where the cave is, but hereabouts no stream can run on the surface for long. I would try the stream. I need more detailed instructions to do that. I can only tell you what you see as you move about and manipulate things. I cannot tell you where remote things or places are. I don't know the word "#". Huh?? Are you trying to get into the cave? The grate is very solid and has a hardened steel lock. You cannot enter without a key, and there are no keys nearby. I would recommend looking elsewhere for the keys. The trees of the forest are large hardwood oak and maple, with an occasional grove of pine or spruce. There is quite a bit of under- growth, largely birch and ash saplings plus nondescript bushes of various sorts. This time of year visibility is quite restricted by all the leaves, but travel is quite easy if you detour around the spruce and berry bushes. I can't see any trees around here. Would you like instructions? Digging without a shovel is quite impractical. Even with a shovel progress is unlikely. Blasting requires dynamite. I'm as confused as you are. Mist is a white vapor, usually water, seen from time to time in caverns. It can be found anywhere but is frequently a sign of a deep pit leading down to water. Your feet are now wet. Yeetttch! I think I just lost my appetite. Thank you, it was delicious! You have taken a drink from the stream. The water tastes strongly of minerals, but is not unpleasant. It is extremely cold. I'm afraid that all that's available here is salt water, which isn't good for anything much... you'de better try elsewhere. The bottle of water is now empty. You convulse and fall to the ground, screaming and writhing in pain. Rubbing the electric # is not particularly rewarding. Anyway, nothing exciting happens. Peculiar. Nothing unexpected happens. That's a repulsive idea! Your bottle is empty and the ground is wet. You can't pour that. Watch it! Which way should I #? Oh dear, you seem to have gotten yourself killed. I might be able to help you out, but I've never really done this before. Do you want me to try to reincarnate you? All right. But don't blame me if something goes wr...... --- poof!! --- You are engulfed in a cloud of orange smoke. Coughing and gasping, you emerge from the smoke and find.... Tsk, tsk - you did it again! Remember - you're only human, and you don't have as many lives as a cat! (at least, I don't think so...) That's twice you've ended up dead - want to try for three? As you wish. Hang on for just a second while I fire up my thurible... >foof!< An immense cloud of orange smoke fills the air. As it clears, you find that once again.... You clumsy oaf, you've done it again! I don't know how long I can keep this up. Do you want me to try reincarnating you again? Okay, now where did I put my orange smoke?.... >poof!< Everything disappears in a dense cloud of orange smoke. Now you've really done it! I'm out of orange smoke! You don't expect me to do a decent reincarnation without any orange smoke, do you? Yes.... well, that's the kind of blinkered, Philistine pig-ignorance that I've come to expect from you mortals. You sit there on your loathsome, spotty behind, squeezing blackheads and not caring a thinker's damn about the struggling cave-sprite, you simpering, whining, mouldy-faced heap of parrot droppings! If you're so smart, then you can just reincarnate yourself, because quite frankly I'm as mad as hell and I'm not going to take this anymore - I'm leaving!!!! Sorry, but I no longer seem to remember how it was you got here. You can't carry anything more. You'll have to drop something first. You can't go through a locked steel grate! I believe what you want is right here with you. You don't fit through a two-inch slit! I respectfully suggest you go across the bridge instead of jumping. There is no way across the fissure. You're not carrying anything. You are currently holding the following: It's not hungry (it's merely pinin' for the fjords). Besides, you have no bird seed. The snake has now devoured your bird. There's nothing here it wants to eat (except perhaps you). You fool, dwarves eat only coal! Now you've made him *really* mad!! You have nothing in which to carry it. Your bottle is already full. There is nothing here with which to fill the bottle. Your bottle is now full of water. Your bottle is now full of oil. You can't fill that. Don't be ridiculous! The door is extremely rusty and refuses to open. The plant indignantly shakes the oil off its leaves and asks, "Water?" The hinges are quite thoroughly rusted now and won't budge. The oil has freed up the hinges so that the door will now move, although it requires some effort. The plant has exceptionally deep roots and cannot be pulled free. The dwarves' knives vanish as they strike the walls of the cave. Something you're carrying won't fit through the tunnel with you. You'd best take inventory and drop something. You can't fit this five-foot clam through that little passage! You can't fit this five-foot oyster through that little passage! I advise you to put down the clam before opening it. >strain!< I advise you to put down the oyster before opening it. >wrench!< You don't have anything strong enough to open the clam. You don't have anything strong enough to open the oyster. A glistening pearl falls out of the clam and rolls away. Goodness, this must really be an oyster. (I never was very good at identifying bivalves.) Whatever it is, it has now snapped shut again. The oyster creaks open, revealing nothing but oyster inside. It promptly snaps shut again. You have crawled around in some little holes and found your way blocked by a recent cave-in. You are now back in the main passage. There are faint rustling noises from the darkness behind you. Out from the shadows behind you pounces a bearded pirate! "Har, har," he chortles, "I'll just take all this booty and hide it away with me chest deep in the maze!" He snatches your treasure and vanishes into the gloom. A sepulchral voice reverberating through the cave, says, "Cave closing soon. All adventurers please report to the treasure room via the alternate entrance to claim your treasure." A mysterious recorded voice groans into life and announces: "This exit is closed. Please report to the treasure room via the alternate entrance to claim your treasure." It looks as though you're dead. Well, seeing as how it's so close to closing time anyway, I think we'll just call it a day. The sepulchral voice entones, "The cave is now closed." As the echoes fade, there is a blinding flash of light (and a small puff of orange smoke). . . . As your eyes refocus, you look around and find... Oh, leave the poor unhappy bird alone. I daresay whatever you want is around here somewhere. I don't know how to get there from here. That's where you are now! You are being followed by a very large, tame bear. If you want to end your adventure early, say "QUIT". To suspend your adventure such that you can continue later, say "SUSPEND" (or "PAUSE" or "SAVE"). To re-start your game at a later time, start up a new adventure and after I say "You are standing...", you must say "RESTORE". You can also name your game by saying "SUSPEND mine" (and "RESTORE mine") where "mine" is the name that you wish your suspended game to be known by (1-4 characters). To see what hours the cave is normally open, say "HOURS". To see how well you're doing, say "SCORE". To get full credit for a treasure, you must have left it safely in the building, though you get partial credit just for locating it. You lose points for getting killed, or for quitting, though the former costs you more. There are also points based on how much (if any) of the cave you've managed to explore; in particular, there is a large bonus just for getting in (to distinguish the beginners from the rest of the pack), and there are other ways to determine whether you've been through some of the more harrowing sections. If you think you've found all the treasures, just keep exploring for a while. If nothing interesting happens, you haven't found them all yet. If something interesting *does* happen, it means you're getting a bonus and have an opportunity to garner many more points in the master's section. I may occasionally offer hints if you seem to be having trouble. If I do, I'll warn you in advance how much it will affect your score. To save paper, you may specify "BRIEF", which tells me never to repeat the full description of a place unless you explicitly ask me to by saying "LOOK". If you are an experienced adventurer, you may wish to specify "FAST", which is like "BRIEF" but more so; in "FAST" mode I will *never* under any circumstances give the full description of a place. Finally, if you are in "BRIEF" or "FAST" modes, you may return to the normal mode of operation by saying "FULL". Do you indeed wish to quit now? There is nothing here with which to fill the vase. The sudden change in temperature has delicately shattered the vase. It is beyond your power to do that. I don't know how. It is too far up for you to reach. You killed a little dwarf. The body vanishes in a cloud of greasy black smoke. The shell is very strong and is impervious to attack. What's the matter, can't you read? Now you'd best start over. The # bounces harmlessly off the dragon's thick scales. The dragon looks rather nasty. You'd best not try to get by. The little bird attacks the green dragon, and in an astounding flurry gets burnt to a cinder. The ashes blow away. On what? Okay, from now on I'll only describe a place in full the first time you come to it. To get the full description, say "LOOK". Trolls are close relatives with the rocks and have skin as tough as that of a rhinoceros. The troll fends off your blows effortlessly. The troll deftly catches the #, examines it carefully, and tosses it back, declaring, "Good workmanship, but it's not valuable enough." The troll catches the # and scurries away out of sight. The troll refuses to let you cross. There is no longer any way across the chasm. Just as you reach the other side, the bridge buckles beneath the weight of the bear, which was still following you around. You scrabble desperately for support, but as the bridge collapses you stumble back and fall into the chasm. The bear lumbers toward the troll, who lets out a startled shriek and scurries away. The bear soon gives up the pursuit and wanders back. The axe misses and lands near the bear where you can't get at it. With what? Your bare hands?? Against *his* bear hands??? Don't be ridiculous - he'd tear you to shreds! The bear is confused; he only wants to be your friend. For crying out loud, the poor thing is already dead! The bear eagerly wolfs down your food, after which he seems to calm down considerably and even becomes rather friendly. The bear is still chained to the wall. The chain is still locked. The chain is now unlocked. The chain is now locked. There is nothing here to which the chain can be locked. There is nothing here to eat. I can give you some advice that might help you solve your problem, but I'll have to charge you # points for it. TANSTAAFL, y'know! Do you want the hint? Do you need help getting out of here? You can make the passages look less alike by dropping things. You could then make a map that would let you find your way around. Are you trying to explore beyond the Plover room? There is a way to explore that region without having to worry about falling into a pit. None of the objects available is immediately useful in discovering the secret. Do you need help getting out of here? Don't go west. Gluttony is not one of the troll's vices. Avarice, however, is. Your lamp is getting dim. You'd best start wrapping this up, unless you can find some fresh batteries. I seem to recall there's a vending machine in the maze. Bring some coins with you. Your lamp has run out of power. There's not much point in wandering around out here, and you can't explore the cave without a lamp. So let's just call it a day. There are faint rustling noises from the darkness behind you. As you turn toward them, the beam of your lamp falls across a bearded pirate. He is carrying a large chest. "Shiver me timbers!" he cries, "I've been spotted! I'd best hie meself off to the maze to hide me chest!" With that, he vanishes into the gloom. Your lamp is getting dim. You'd best go back for those batteries. Your lamp is getting dim. I'm taking the liberty of replacing the batteries. Your lamp is getting dim, and you're out of spare batteries. You'd best start wrapping this up. I'm afraid the magazine is written in Dwarvish. "This is not the maze where the pirate leaves his treasure chest." Hmmm, this looks like a clue, which means it'll cost you 10 points to read it. Should I go ahead and read it anyway? It says, "There is something strange about this place, such that one of the words I've always known now has a new effect." It says the same thing it did before. It reads, "Drop coins here to receive fresh batteries." I'm afraid I don't understand. It says, "Congratulations on bringing light into the Dark-room!" You strike the mirror a resounding blow, whereupon it shatters into a myriad tiny fragments. You have taken the vase and hurled it delicately to the ground. Is this acceptable? There's no point in suspending a demonstration game. You are at the bottom of the pit with a broken neck. The dome is unclimbable. You can't get past the snake. You have crawled around in a little passage north of and parallel to the Hall of Mists. Aaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeee........ >splat< Hmmmm - I never saw a red flapjack before! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh........ >squish< Yetch - what a mess! Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh............ >crunch< Haaaaaaaaaaaaaalllllllllllllllllpppppp........... >smash< There's nothing climbable here. What do you want me to do with the #? The crack is far too small for you to enter. The stream flows out through a pair of 1 foot diameter sewer pipes. It would be advisable to leave via the exit. You have no #! There's nothing to climb here. Say "UP" or "OUT" to leave the pit. You have climbed up the plant and out of the pit. You scurry up the plant and into the hole in the wall. As you approach the bear, it snarls threateningly; you are forced to retreat without the #. You can't get by the dragon to get at the rug. You have scored a total of # points, out of a possible maximum of # points. During this game of Adventure, you have taken a total of # turns. There is nowhere for me to jump to. I'm not sure what you want me to # - please be more specific. The dwarf quickly scuttles off into the gloom. Ok - "#". If you were to quit now, you would score a total of # points, out of a possible maximum of # points. You are obviously a rank amateur. Better luck next time. Your score qualifies you as a novice-class adventurer. You have achieved the rating; "Experienced Adventurer". You may now consider yourself a "Seasoned Adventurer". You have reached "Junior Master" status. Your score puts you in Master Adventurer class C. Your score puts you in Master Adventurer class B. Your score puts you in Master Adventurer class A. All of Adventuredom gives tribute to you, Adventurer Grandmaster! You only need one more point to reach the next level of expertise! To reach the next qualification level you need # more points. The old batteries in your lamp were pretty well shot - I've taken the the liberty of putting in the new ones. I don't know how to # such a thing. I can save your Adventure for you, but if I do you'll have to wait at least # minutes before continuing. I'm sorry, but I can't save your game at the moment; something seems to be wrong with the save file. I can't find any saved game for you to restore. An explosion has destroyed the well-house during the time that your game was suspended. You're going to have to start over. Do you want me to keep the save-image? Do you wish to continue with the game immediately? I'm sorry - only a wizard can restart a game in less than # minutes. The # flies through the air and thoroughly drenches the dwarf. He shakes himself off and curses violently; he *REALLY* looks angry! The # flies through the air and thoroughly drenches the dwarves. They shake themselves off and curse violently; they *REALLY* look angry! There is nothing here that I can drink! There's nothing written on the oyster. There is nothing written on the top of the oyster. I'm terrible sorry - Colossal Cave is closed. Our hours are: I'm afraid that I can't start up a real Adventure for you at the moment; the system's ETMF is too high. I'm afraid that there are too many people on the system at the moment; I can't start up a real Adventure for you. We do allow visitors to make short explorations during our off hours. Would you like to do that? Ok, then - I suggest that you try again later. A large cloud of green smoke appears in front of you. It clears away to reveal a tall wizard, clothed in grey. He fixes you with a steely glare and declares, "This adventure has lasted too long." With that he makes a single pass over you with his hands, and everything around you fades away into a grey nothingness. I'm afraid that I can't restore your saved game - it's prime time at the moment, and only demonstration Adventures are permitted. I'm sorry, but I can't restore your Adventure - the ETMF is too high. You'll have to try again later. I'm sorry, but there are too many users on the system at the moment; please try again later when the system is less heavily in use, and I'll restore your Adventure then. Colossal Cave is open during the following hours: Are you actually a wizard? Prove it - say the magic word! Oh, pooh - you are nothing but a charlatan! That little piece of deception is going to cost you 10 points!! Oh, dear, you really *are* a wizard! Sorry to have bothered you.... Nothing obvious happens. Hmmmm.. This sand is rather soft, and you're sinking in a little... In fact you're sinking in a lot! Oh, no - it's QUICKSAND!! HELP!! HELP!!! HELP!! >glub< >glub< >glub< >blurp< You know, I've heard of people who really fell in for the soft sell, but >glub< this >glub< is >glub< ridiculous! >blop!< As you enter into the passage, you are forced to brush up against some of the green slime. Instantly it flows down and covers your body, and rapidly digests away all of your flesh. With a sharp sizzling sound, a large spark of electricity jumps out of thin air and strikes your lamp. The immense electrical charge flows to ground through your body and fries you to a crisp. With a loud "zap" a bolt of lightning springs out of midair and strikes your lamp, which immediately and violently explodes. You narrowly miss being torn to shreds by the flying metal. In a loud crackle of electricity, a bolt of lightning jumps out of nowhere and strikes your lamp. The lamp instantly explodes like a grenade, and you are mown down by a cloud of shrapnel. The air fills with tension, and there is a subdued crackling sound. A blue aura forms about your lantern, and small sparks jump from the lantern to the ground. The aura fades away after several seconds, and your lamp is once again shining brightly. The singing sword slides easily out of the rock. The sword is firmly embedded in the stone, and you aren't strong enough to pull it out. The vial strikes the ground and explodes with a violent >foom<, neatly severing your foot. You bleed to death quickly and messily. The vial explodes into splinters and disintegrates, releasing an oily liquid which rapidly sublimes into a large mushroom-shaped cloud of pale puce vapor smelling like sequoia sap and ozone. of bright green vapor smelling like pine needles and sea water. of thick yellow vapor smelling like cheddar cheese and bananas. of choking green vapor smelling like chlorine and apples. of misty white vapor with no scent. of nearly-invisible vapor with a strong odor of walnuts and onions. of ominously glowing vapor smelling of hot iron. As you reach the middle of the bridge, the troll appears from out of the tunnel behind you, wearing a large backpack. "So, Mister Magician," he shouts, "you like to use magic to steal back my hard- earned toll? Let's see how you like a little of MY magic!!" With that, he aims a tube running from the backpack directly at the bear and pulls a trigger. A spout of magical fire roars out and singes the bear's fur; the bear bellows in pain and dashes onto the bridge to escape. The bridge shudders, groans, and collapses under the weight, and you and the bear plunge down into the chasm. As you reach the middle of the bridge, the troll appears from out of the tunnel behind you, wearing a large backpack. "So, Mister Magician," he shouts, "you like to use magic to steal back my hard- earned toll? Let's see how you like a little of MY magic!!" With that, he aims a tube running from the backpack directly at the bridge and pulls a trigger. A spout of magical fire roars out and incinerates the bridge supports, causing the bridge to sway giddily and collapse into the chasm. You plunge down to your death. The sword misses the bear, bounces off of the wall, and lands at your feet. The bear dodges away from your attack, growls, and swipes at you with his claws. Fortunately, he misses. The bear snarls, ducks away from your attack and slashes you to death with his claws. >>Foof!<< Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee....... >oof< The icy slide is far too steep and slippery to climb. The ogre growls at you and refuses to let you pass. The ogre contemptously catches the # in mid-swing, rips it out of your hands, and uses it to chop off your head. The ogre casually catches the # in mid-air, braces his feet, winds up and throws the # straight back at you with incredible force. You are unable to dodge it and it chops you in half. The sword halts in mid-air, twirls like a dervish, and chants several bars of "Dies Ire" in a rough tenor voice. It then begins to spin like a rip-saw blade and flies directly at the ogre, who attempts to catch it without success; it strikes him full on the chest. There is a brilliant flash of light, a deafening roar and a cloud of oily grey smoke; when the smoke clears (and your eyes begin working properly again) you see that the ogre has vanished. The sword is lying on the ground, sparking and flaming. Before your eyes it softens and melts, writhes as if in pain, and shrinks rapidly until all that is left is a small silvery ring which cools rapidly. You attack the ogre, but he fends off your attack easily and comes very close to crushing your skull with *his* bare (but extremely strong) hands. You are forced to retreat in disgrace. You attack the ogre - a brave but foolish action. He quickly grabs you and with a heave of his mighty arms rips your body limb from limb. I'm afraid I can't go that way - walking on red-hot lava is contrary to union regulations (and is bad for your health anyhow). That archway looks pretty fragile - you'd better leave the bear here. As you approach the center of the archway, hot vapors saturated with brimstone drift up from the lava in the gorge beneath your feet. You are swiftly overcome by the foul gasses and, with your lungs burned out, fall off of the bridge and into the gorge. As you approach the center of the archway, hot vapors saturated with brimstone drift up from the lava in the gorge beneath your feet. The mithril ring in your hand quivers and glows, and the fumes eddy away from the bridge without harming you. As you reach the center of the bridge, a ghostly figure appears in front of you. He (?) stands at least eight feet tall, and has the lower body of an enormous snake, six arms, and an angry expression on his face. "You'll not have my sceptre that easily!" he cries, and makes a complex magical gesture with his lower right arm. There is a brilliant flash of light and a vicious >crack<, and the bridge cracks and plummets into the gorge. The door to the safe has no keyhole, dial, or handle - I can't figure out how to open it! The # is already open! The door to the safe seems to be fused shut - I can't open it. The # is already closed! >Creeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek< >ker-CHUNK!< The safe is now closed. >ker-THUNK< >screeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeech< The (somewhat rusty) safe is now open. You pluck the sceptre from the skeleton's bony hand. As you do, the skeleton raises its head and whispers "Remember - #!" in a forboding tone; it then sags to the ground and crumbles into dust which drifts away into the still air of the cave. As you pluck the sceptre from the skeleton's grasp, it raises its head and whispers, "You blew it!". It then shivers and collapses into a pile of fine dust which quickly vanishes. >bong< The very air quivers with sound as though >bong< someone, somewhere in the distance, has struck >bong< three powerful blows on an immense brass gong. Smoke trickles out from around the edges of the safe's door, and the door itself glows red with heat for a moment. A hollow voice says, "This is a Class 1 security alarm. All cave security forces go to Orange Alert. I repeat - Orange Alert." The safe's door is blocking the exit passage - you'll have to close the safe to get out of here. EEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh.......... >sizzle< The # cuts through the blob's body (?) without harming it. You attack the strange blob, but bounce harmlessly off of its strong but very rubbery skin. Rock silently crumbles off of the wall in front of you, revealing dark passages leading northwest, north, and northeast. Having problems? Ok - what you need to do is apply a little philosophy. To wit: there is a question that you need to ask whenever you explore a new room in this cave. In most places, the answer to the question is "yes". In some other places, it's "no" for an obvious reason. Right here, the answer is "no" but the reason isn't so obvious. If you can figure out what the question is, you can get out of here easily. I can tell you this - it's always a vital question if you wish to survive. The basilisk stirs restlessly and grumbles in its sleep as you pass, but it does not awaken. The basilisk stirs grumpily and awakens, peering sleepily about. It sees its reflection in the metal plate that you are carrying, shudders, and turns into solid granite. The basilisk stirs grumpily and awakens, peering sleepily about. It spies you, growls, and stares you straight in the eye. Your body is instantly petrified. You attack the basilisk mightily. It instantly awakens and looks you dead in the eye, and your body turns to solid rock. The # rebounds harmlessly from the basilisk's tough scales. The basilisk awakens, grunting in shock, and glares at you. You are instantly turned into a solid rock statue (and not a particularly impressive one, at that). The # rebounds harmlessly from the pentagram's magic force field. It's just as well - the djinn doesn't seem dangerous. You kill several of the gooseberry goblins with your #, but the others swarm at you, force you to the ground, and rip out your throat. That's not a wise thing to try - djinni are essentially immortal and thus are pretty hard to hurt. Besides, this one seems rather friendly - why don't you just try releasing him? Goblins live exclusively on human flesh, and you can't spare any of your own to placate them. On the other hand, I suspect that they're going to eat you pretty soon whether you like it or not - you'd better find some way of killing them or driving them away! As each of the dragon's teeth strikes the ground, a fully-armed human skeleton springs up from where it struck and leaps to your defense! The skeletal warriors attack the vicious gooseberry goblins and drive them away in screaming panic; they then salute you with their ancient and rusty swords, and fade silently into nothingness. The wax seal breaks away easily. A cloud of dark smoke pours up from the mouth of the flask and condenses into the form of a twelve-foot Djinn standing in the pentagram. He pushes experimentally at the magical wall of the pentagram (which holds), and nods politely to you. "MY THANKS, OH MORTAL," he says in an incredibly deep bass voice. "IT HAS BEEN THREE THOUSAND YEARS SINCE SOLOMON SEALED ME INTO THAT BOTTLE, AND I AM GRATEFUL THAT YOU HAVE RELEASED ME. IF YOU WILL OPEN THIS PENTAGRAM AND LET ME GO FREE, I WILL GIVE YOU SOME ADVICE THAT YOU MAY ONE DAY WISH TO POSSESS." The flask's wax seal crumbles at your touch. A large cloud of black smoke pours out, solidifying into the form of a twelve-foot Djinn. "AT LAST!" he says in an earth-shaking voice, "I KNEW THAT SOMEDAY SOMEONE WOULD RELEASE ME! I WOULD REWARD YOU FOR THIS, MORTAL, BUT IT HAS BEEN THREE THOUSAND YEARS SINCE I HAD A SOLID MEAL, AND I'M NOT GOING TO STAND HERE CHATTERING WHEN I COULD BE OUT EATING A SIX- INCH SIRLOIN STEAK. FAREWELL." With that, he somewhat rudely explodes back into smoke and drifts quickly out of sight. The pentagram's magical barrier sparks fitfully and goes down. The Djinn stretches gratefully and smiles at you. "AGAIN, MY THANKS," he says. "MY ADVICE TO YOU WILL TAKE THE FORM OF A HISTORY LESSON. WHEN RALPH WITT, THE ARCHITECT AND CONSTRUCTOR OF THIS CAVE, WAS VERY YOUNG, HE BECAME VERY INCENSED THAT HIS NAME WAS AT THE END OF THE ALPHABET. HE FELT (FOR SOME REASON) THAT THE LETTER W BELONGED NEAR THE BEGINNING OF THE ALPHABET, AND THAT ALL OF THOSE "UPSTART LETTERS WHICH UNFAIRLY USURPED THE BEST PLACES" SHOULD BE FORCED INTO EXILE AT THE END OF THE ALPHABET. HIS INSTINCT FOR MATTERS MAGICAL AND MYSTICAL LED HIM TO APPLY THIS STRANGE BELIEF INTO THE CAVE'S STRUCTURE WHEN HE EXCAVATED IT. YOU HAVEN'T YET BEEN AFFECTED BY HIS STRANGE HABITS, BUT YOU SHOULD REMEMBER THIS. FAREWELL, AND GOOD LUCK." With that, the Djinn evaporates into a cloud of smoke and drifts rapidly away. You attack the goblins and manage to squash a few, but the others overwhelm you, forcing you to the ground and ripping out your throat. The pentagram is empty - there's nothing to let out! You are being pursued by a vicious horde of little gooseberry goblins! You have jumped into a bottomless pit. You continue to fall for a very long time. First, your lamp runs out of power and goes dead. Later, you die of hunger and thirst. You have jumped into a bottomless pit. Eventually, you die of thirst. The safe's door is closed, and you can't get in! There is no handle on the inside of the safe door, nor any other way to get a grip on it. You'll have to leave the safe before shutting it. I can't swim, or walk on water. You'll have to find some other way to get across, or get someone to assist you. You step gently on Darwin the Tortoise's back, and he carries you smoothly over to the southern side of the reservoir. He then blows a couple of bubbles at you and sinks back out of sight. >BONNNNGGGGGGGGGG< Darwin the Tortoise blinks in surprise at the noise, but does nothing. >BONNNNNGGGGGGGGG< A hollow voice says, "The GallopingGhost Tortoise Express is now at your service!" With a swoosh and a swirl of water, a large tortoise rises to the surface of the reservoir and paddles over to the shore near you. The message, "I'm Darwin - ride me!" is inscribed on his back in ornate letters. Into the whirlpool?? You plunge into the water and are sucked down by the whirlpool. You plunge into the water and are sucked down by the whirlpool. The current is incredibly strong, and you barely manage to hold onto your lamp; everything else is pulled from your grasp and is lost in the swirling waters. You plunge into the water and are sucked down by the whirlpool into pitch darkness. You plunge into the water and are sucked down by the whirlpool into pitch darkness. The current is incredibly strong, and everything that you are carrying is ripped from your grasp and is lost in the swirling waters. The swirling waters deposit you, not ungently, on solid ground. A large phosphorescent cloud of smoke drifts into view, and a large mouth and two dark eyes take shape on the side. One of the eyes winks at you, and the djinn's deep voice says "GREETINGS AGAIN, MORTAL. I HAVE REMEMBERED A PIECE OF ANCIENT LORE THAT I LEARNED FROM MY AUNT, AN AFREET OF GREAT KNOWLEDGE. THERE IS ANOTHER MAGIC WORD THAT YOU MIGHT FIND OF USE IF YOU SHOULD EVER FIND YOURSELF BEING ATTACKED BY THOSE PESTIFEROUS DWARVES. YOU SHOULD USE IT ONLY AS A LAST RESORT, THOUGH, SINCE IT IS A MOST POTENT WORD AND IS PRONE TO BACKFIRE FOR NO OBVIOUS REASON; ALSO, IT SHOULD NEVER BE USED NEAR WATER OR NEAR ANY SHARP WEAPON OR THE RESULTS MAY BE MOST UNFORTUNATE. THE WORD IS 'phuggg'", whispers the djinn, "AND IT MUST BE PRONOUNCED CAREFULLY IF IT IS TO HAVE THE PROPER EFFECT. FAREWELL AGAIN, AND GOOD LUCK!" With that, the djinn-cloud drifts away out of sight. >splurch!< Oh, no! You've turned yourself into a jellyfish, and fallen to the ground and been splattered far and wide! Well, that certainly wasn't very smart!!! You were warned not to use that work near water! The ground begins to shudder ominously, and the very cave walls around you begin to creak and groan! A sulphurious stench fills the air! With an incredible lurch, the ground begins to dance and ripple as though it were liquid! You are thrown off of your feet and tossed violently up and down! The cave walls begin to crumble and split from the stress! There is a terrible ROAR of rending rock!! The cave ceiling splits, and rocks plunge down and smash your lower body to a gooey paste!! There is a violent blast in the distance! Steam and smoke drift into view through the rents in the walls, and furiously-bubbling red-hot lava flows in and surrounds you. The cave ceiling disintegrates in an incredible orgy of grinding destruction, and the cave walls fall and are pounded into fine dust. You are lying, badly mangled, on a small rock island in a sea of molten lava. Above you, the sky is faintly visible through a thick pall of smoke and steam. A short distance to the north, the remains of a well-house are sinking slowly into the bubbling ooze. There is a distant, sourceless screech of incredible anguish! With a sharp >poof< and a small puff of orange smoke, a bent and bearded elf appears. He is dressed in working clothes, and has a name-tag marked "Ralph" on his shirt. "You blithering idiot!" he storms. "You were warned quite clearly not to use that work near water!! I hadn't gotten all of the bugs out of it yet, and now your incredible incompetance has totally destroyed Colossal Cave!! Do you have the faintest scintilla of an iota of an understanding of how much work I'm going to have to do to get the cave rebuilt?!? I'll have to go all the way to Peking for another dragon, and I'll have to convince the Goblin's Union to send me another team of gooseberry goblins; I'll have to sub-contract the building of the volcano out to the local totrugs, and worst of all I'll have to go through eight months of paperwork and red tape to file a new Environmental Impact statement!! All because you couldn't follow directions, you purblind and meatbrained moron! I'm rescinding all of your game points and throwing you out! Out! OUT! GET OUT!$!%#&'@%!!%%!" Your axe glows bright orange and fades into nothingness. Your sword jumps into the air, chants several bars of the "Volga Boatman", shoots off several fitful blue sparks, and disintegrates. A clear, liquid chime sounds in midair. A large, four-clawed hand reaches out of the ground, grabs the dwarf, and pulls it down into nothingness. A clear, liquid chime sounds in midair. A long green tentacle covered with sucker disks reaches out from nowhere, grabs the dwarves, and pulls them back to wherever it came from. There is a sharp sizzling sound. The dwarf explodes into flame and vanishes. There is a sharp sizzling sound. The dwarves are engulfed in a wave of fire that appears from nowhere, and are completely incinerated; the flames then vanish into nothingness again. There is a sharp whistling sound from nowhere. The dwarf shudders and turns into a moth, which then flies away. There is a sharp whistling sound from nowhere. The dwarves stiffen, shudder, and melt down into a large puddle of soggy goo that quickly soaks into the ground and vanishes. A clear, liquid chime sounds in midair. A large, four-clawed foot appears in midair and stomps violently downward, missing the dwarf but thoroughly squashing you. A clear, liquid chime sounds in midair. A large and very toothy mouth appears in midair and chomps ferociously. The dwarves manage to evade it, but it bites you in half. There is a sharp sizzling sound. A ball of fire roars out of nowhere, misses the dwarf, bounces off of a wall, and incinerates you. There is a sharp sizzling sound. A ball of fire appears from nowhere, bounces off of the ground, and explodes violently, incinerating both you and the dwarves. There is a sharp crackling sound from the air above you. The dwarf shudders and turns into a sabre-toothed tiger, which attacks and kills you in short order. There is a sharp crackling sound from the air above you. The dwarves stiffen, fall to the ground, and melt into a large puddle of soggy goo. The goo twitches a few times and then flows at you with incredible speed; it attacks and strangles you with little difficulty. You have set the flask down in the center of the pentagram. From somewhere in the distance, there comes a musical skirl of light, elvish laughter and the sounds of merriment. From somewhere nearby, there suddenly comes a sound of something mechanical in motion. As you turn towards it, an incredible figure rolls into the light of your lamp. It stands about five feet high on a wheeled metal pedestal, and has a globular light- filled head, accordion-pleated metal arms, and a cylindrical body the size of an oil drum with a plastic panel on the front. It rolls past without taking any notice of you, all the while waving its arms, flashing a light behind its front panel and bellowing "WARNING! WARNING! DANGER!" at the top of its not inconsiderable voice. It rolls on out of sight, and moments later there is an immense flash of light and a tremendous blast of sparks and smoke. When the air clears, you find that no trace remains of the strange apparition. With a sudden gust of air, a large cave bat flutters into view, flies around your head several times, squeaks with disgust, and flutters on out of sight. Suddenly, the ground quivers underfoot; a dull rumbling sound resounds from the rock around you, and in the distance you can hear the crash of falling rock. The earth tremor subsides after a few seconds without causing any major damage. From the darkness nearby comes the sound of shuffling feet. As you turn towards the sound, a nine-foot cyclops ambles into the light of your lamp. The cyclops is dressed in a three-piece suit of worsted wool, and is wearing a black silk top-hat and cowboy boots and is carrying an ebony walking-stick. It catches sight of you and stops, seeming frozen in its tracks, with its bloodshot eye bulging in amazement and its fang-filled jaw drooping with shock. After staring at you in incredulous disbelief for a few moments, it reaches into the pocket of its vest and pulls out a small plastic bag filled with a leafy green substance, and examines it carefully. "It must be worth eighty pazools an ounce after all" mumbles the cyclops, who casts one final look at you, shudders, and staggers away out of sight. From somewhere in the distance comes a heart-wrenching scream of mortal terror! "NO! DON'T! NO! NO! HELP!!!!" cries the voice, and then lets out a wail of agony that is cut off abruptly. Subdued crunching and slurping sounds can be heard for a minute or so, and then silence falls. From somewhere nearby come the sounds of sliding, stumbling feet. As you turn towards them, the beam of your lamp falls upon a tall, shambling figure approaching you out of the darkness. Standing no more than five feet tall, it cannot possibly weigh more than fifty pounds including the shroud and bandages in which it is wrapped; a musty reek like the scent of old, dead earth seeps from it and fills the air. As you cower back in disgust and horror, the figure halts, examines you through eyes resembling wet pebbles, and whispers "Peace, man!" in a voice like wind rustling through dead trees. It then turns and shambles away into the darkness. You have tossed the # down into the pit. You have thrown the # down into the fissure. You have tossed the # down into the hole in the floor. You have tossed the # down into the room below you. You have tossed the # down into the canyon beneath your feet. You have hurled the # into the middle of the whirlpool. You have thrown the # down into the mist filling the cavern. You have hurled the # down into the misty bottom of the chasm. You have hurled the # down into the boiling lava at the bottom of the volcanic gorge. You have tossed the # down the chimney. You have tossed the # down into the lava tube and out of sight. You have thrown the # down the steps and out of view. You have tossed the # down the icy slide and out of sight. You have thrown the # down onto the beach. You have negligently tossed the # into the center of the reservoir. A delicate crash sounds from below. Are you having problems getting out of the ice tunnels? To get out of here, you'll first have to get your bearings so that you know where you are. I suggest that you draw a careful, accurate map of the tunnel system; for clarity's sake, keep your lines as straight as is feasible and draw in all of the dead ends and such. Once you've got a complete and accurate map, examine it carefully; if your thoughts refuse to clarify, you might try using the old Yoga trick of standing on your head, and see if that helps. It's pitch dark in here - I can't tell whether there's anything here that I can pick up! Hmmph - you're not asking for much, are you - it's pitch dark in here! Well, I'll grope around and try to find the #..... You stumbled into a pit and broke your back! Hmmph - you're not asking for much, are you - it's pitch dark in here, and I'll have to grope around to try to find the #. Well, if I must, I must...... {hunt} {search} {hunt} No luck - I can't find the #!. Get me some light and maybe I'll be able to do better! Hmmph - you're not asking for much, are you - it's pitch dark in here, and I'll have to grope around to find the #. Oh, well, I suppose that that's part of my job... {hunt} {search} {trip} {curse} {catch self} {nurse scraped hand} {seek} Aha! 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