" Seated late one evening in front of the television, you're startled to notice that instead of the fuzzy, distorted picture of cowboys and indians that you're used to seeing on your beat-up set, your television screen is display- ing an unusual picture of a crossroads with crystal clarity. \"If only life were that clear-cut\", you mutter as you heave yourself out of your armchair -- only to discover that your room has become very hazy and dim. A sudden fit of vertigo seizes you and as you struggle to regain your balance you find yourself falling forward ... tumbling blindly ... Clutching frantically for support, your hand grasps the channel selector knob which spins wildly and then snaps off with a twang as you fall into and through the television screen ... " words (objects) channel\ selector\ knob 0 -1 knob 1 Wander\ instruction\ guide 0 -1 guide 1 red\ apple 0 3 apple 1 purple\ pear pear 1 boat 0 8 rope 0 14 keys 0 16 ladder 0 12 huge\ balloon 0 27 balloon 1 cow\ (dead) 0 26 butcher\ knife 0 29 knife 1 shovel 0 11 jewels 0 22 mace 0 dragon 0 0 winebottle 0 50 sacks\ of\ potatoes 0 64 potatoes 1 gideon\ bible 0 63 bible 1 signet\ ring 0 66 ring 1 gossamer\ gown 0 67 gown 1 30\ foot\ long\ wig 0 71 wig 1 distressed\ damsel 0 69 damsel 1 wooden\ match 0 29 match 1 ugly\ frog 0 21 frog 1 wild\ strawberries 0 18 strawberries 1 berries 2 words (verbs) break smash 1 hit 2 attack 3 eat taste 1 enter in 1 leave out 1 row float 1 navigate 2 sail 3 board 4 ride 5 fuck lay 1 screw 2 go move 1 travel 2 walk 3 tie attach 1 pre actions * v-2.1 ,,, up|climb|down t?boat m="Carrying a boat? Get serious!" dig t~shovel m=\ "Digging without a shovel is quite impractical. Even with a shovel, ... Well, who knows?" lock|unlock t~keys m="With no keys? No way!" * t?damsel o?frog ,,, t+frog o+damsel m="Flirt..." n|s|e|w|u|d|ne|se|nw|sw v-1.1 ,,, * v?1.15 v-1.1 ,,, m=\ "You're getting awfully hungry; if you don't eat soon you'll starve! " * v?1.6 v-1.1 ,,, m="You are near starvation ... " * 77 v?1.1 m="You have starved!" post actions take\ all o?damsel t~damsel m=\ "I'm not sure I know which things you mean -- be specific" drop\ all t?damsel m=\ "I'm not sure I know which things you mean -- be specific" drop\ all t?balloon m=\ "I'm not sure I know which things you mean -- be specific" back v=CUR_LOC.%PREV_LOC% m="Hmmm, as I remember ... we came this way ..." out m="I don't know which direction to go ..." help|instructions m=\ "Read the Wander Instruction Guide for help. (say \"read guide\")" read\ guide o~guide m="I don't see any guide here." read\ guide m=\ "In general Wander can understand commands consisting of one or two words. The first is almost always a verb of some kind (`take', `drop', `lock', etc) and the second, (if needed), is usually an object. The following verbs are particularly useful: inventory\tList objects you are carrying. look\t\tGive the long description of your surroundings quit\t\tEnd the wander save\t\tSave your current environment so that you can continue later. Typically, motion is requested by specifying a compass direction e.g. north, southeast, etc. These can be abbreviated as n, se, etc. If you have trouble being understood try rephrasing your commands so that they use the simplest words possible without being too vague and remember that only the first TWO WORDS in each command are used by the program." go m=\ "Words like 'go', 'move', 'travel' or 'walk' are unnecessary; if you want to go north simply say 'north'. Most directions in this world are compass directions, (north, south, northeast, etc), which may be abbreviated. Also 'up' and 'down' appear fairly frequently." dig t?shovel m="You poke around, but the shovel doesn't dig in anywhere" take c?5 ,,, m="Pretty greedy, aren't you?" drop\ cow c?20 t?cow ,,, m="Thump!" drop\ damsel t?damsel t-damsel m="Pretty unchivalrous! (Puce smoke)" xyzzy m="Nice try, but that's an old, worn-out magic word." eat\ cow m="'scuse me while I throw up..." eat\ leeches m="I think I'm gonna puke over that one..." eat\ piranhas m="No, it works the other way around." eat\ pears 77 m=\ "YUM! ... URP! ... groan ... gurgle ... aaaaaaaack! Poison!" eat v>1.25 m="No thanks, you're not really hungry, (yet)." eat\ berries o?berries o-berries v+1.15 m=\ "Those berries ought to stave off starvation for a few minutes." eat\ apple o?apple o-apple v+1.25 m=\ "That apple was small but tasty; it should hold you for a while." eat\ potatoes o?potatoes o-potatoes v+1.60 m=\ "Burp! Those spuds sure hit the spot." drop\ balloon t?balloon o-balloon m=\ "Being helium-filled it doesn't exactly drop... (wave bye-bye)" make\ love m="Why beat around the bush? What do you really mean?" make m="Only God can make that!" yes|no m="Really? How interesting..." why? m="Because (natch)" define m="Just tell me what you want defined." qwert? m=\ "Quoting from the Webster's Middle World Dictionary, 4th ed. QWERT (kwirt) n. [MW < OW qwertyuiop, a thirteenth] 1. a unit of weight equal to 13 poiuyt avoirdupois (or 1.69 kiloliks), commonly used in structural engineering 2. [Colloq.] one thir- teenth the load that a fully grown sligo can carry. 3. [Anat.] a painful irritation of the dermis in the region of the anus 4. [Slang] person who excites in others the symptoms of a qwert " poiuyt?|kiloliks?|sligo? m=\ "Quoting from the Webster's Middle World Dictionary, 4th ed. See \"qwert\". " fuck\ you c?25 m="Fuck you, too." fuck\ you c?33 m="Yaaaa, your mother wears combat boots!" fuck\ you c?50 m="I'm not THAT hard up!" fuck\ you m="You can't fuck me here. (Try as you might)" score m="Keeping score is an outdated, materialistic concept, don't you think?" inventory v?3.1 ... m="You are wearing a flower." inventory v>3.1 ... m="You are wearing %3% flowers." drop\ flowers v?3.0 m="You're not carrying any flowers!" drop\ flowers v=3.0 m="The flowers wilt & rot into dust as you drop them." find m="I don't know where to look" * v+2.2 ,,, * v>2.12 v<2.15 v=2.120 m="If you're confused type `help' for aid" variables 1 50 energy, used up by moving, replenished by eating 2 3 confusion count, -1 by recognized actions, +1 by unrecognized 3 0 number of flowers being carried 4 11 hint count for forest