The following is a transcript of a speed run through the interactive fiction
title "Busted" using the fewest number of turns possible.  It relies heavily on
knowledge from previous sessions, implied actions at no cost, and the fact that
an action with multiple objects counts as a single turn.  The final score is
158 points out of a possible 154, in 161 turns.


 * * *


It's late in the day, classes were hellish, and the last thing you need is to
come home and hear this on your answering machine:

"Hey man, it's Keith. The pigs finally got me, and if they ever manage to find
my address book, they'll probably be coming for you too. I can't tell you where
I've hidden it, for obvious reasons, but if I were you I'd try to find it first,
along with any other questionable items you may have "lost." By the way, I
wouldn't hang around your room too much - that's the first place they look for
you... Damn! Time's up, I gotta go... good luck!"

BUSTED
Psychedelic Interactive Fiction (not to be taken internally)
Copyright (c) 1994 Scumbag Software, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Release 4 / Serial number 941223 / Inform v1402 Library 5/7

Dorm Room
You are in your dorm room, in Linnell House. It is bigger than a breadbox, but
not by much. The door is to the north.

There is a standard-issue dorm table here, on which are a wallet (which is
closed), a hastily scrawled note and an ash tray.

>search ashtray
You poke around in the refuse and unearth a roach that you had forgotten about!
(Not surprising, given what you were doing when you created it.)

You're feeling pretty hungry.

>open wallet
You open the wallet, revealing thirty dollars cash and an ID card.

>take roach,cash,id
roach: Taken.
thirty dollars cash: Taken.
ID card: Taken.

>n
You grab an elevator and head outside...

Outside Linnell House
The diligently landscaped area outside of your dorm contains a few anorexic
shrubs and some wild crabgrass. To the south is the red brick hell you call
home. A muddy path leads north.

Suddenly your girlfriend Sydnee comes barging up to you.

"You bastard!" she screams, "I'm through with you and your flakiness!"

Before you can ameliorate her, she flings the teddy bear you gave her for your
two-week anniversary at you and says, "You can keep your stupid bear, asshole!"

She leaves in a huff.

>n
Suddenly, a figure in a long trench coat stumbles out of a nearby bush. He trips
on a tree root and grabs you for support, in the process accidentally jabbing
you with a hypodermic!

"Oops. Sorry, pal!" Before you can react, he giggles and dashes off!

Outside Dining Commons
You're on a path outside of the white stone building (to the west) which serves
as the dining commons for this area. You are not surprised to notice a large
"biohazard" sign on the building. The squat structure of your dorm is visible
off to the south, and the path leads east as well.

>w

Dining Commons Entrance
It smells like a rubbish tip in here - and only a bit less appetizing. The
grubby linoleum leads south to the main atrium and back out to the east.

A Dining Commons line lady sits here on her stool, chewing gum and making
occasional rude sucking noises with it.

>show lady id
The DC lady runs it through the little machine that tells her whether or not
you've been blacklisted. It obviously gives her good news because she nods
towards the south and mutters, "Go ahead, brat."

[Your score has just gone up by five points.]

>s

Dining Commons Atrium
If bricks could speak, it's likely that the ones in this room would say "hey,
don't throw that chipped beef at me." You spy the non-smoking section of the DC
off to the southwest, and the smog enshrouded smoking section to the southeast.

A line of students snakes its way up to a window where one may obtain what the
DC, despite all logic, calls "food."

>wait in line
After an interminable wait, you collect a tray full of unexciting food.

>se

Smoking Section
It smells like an airport lounge, only worse. However, given the caliber of the
cooking in this place, it could be a lot worse. You can bring your dirty plates
to the dish room to the southwest, or head back out, to the northwest.

>light roach
(with the cigarette lighter)
The roach catches. Smells nice!

You're beginning to feel a little bit drugged.

>smoke roach
Ah! That's great, really good. Just enough to give you a nice buzz, too. And it
goes down so smooth...

You notice that you're starting to develop a case of the munchies.

>eat food
In your state of extreme munchiness, you manage to ignore the fact that this is
possibly the most repulsive substance ever to go under the label of "food" in
the history of the world. Well, maybe not that bad, but certainly not good... As
it slides down your throat, you imagine you hear whimpering.

[Your score has just gone up by five points.]

>light joint
(with the cigarette lighter)
The end of the joint starts to burn. The sweet smell of dope wafts into your
twitching nostrils. You salivate madly - Pavlov would be well pleased.

>drop lighter,tray
cigarette lighter: Dropped.
food tray: Dropped.

>sw

Dish Room
This is where luckless students do the dishes for thousands of their hungry
peers, three times a day. Correspondingly, an air of intense gloom and broken
spirits pervades the region. You can effect your return to the DC proper by
going northeast or northwest. The kitchen is to the west, but a sign over the
door cautions "Authorized Personnel Only"

Your friend Milton, now a DC employee, is standing around looking hung over.

>give milton joint
A huge grin spreads over Milton's face. "Righteous!" he exclaims. Suddenly, he
appears worried, and with a sharpness of mind you initially thought him
completely incapable of, he blurts out: "Can't smoke this out here. I've got it!
Let's go into the kitchen, nobody will notice there... One problem - you're not
dressed properly. Wait here."

Milton sneaks off, then quickly returns with an apron and visor, which he hands
to you. You put on the uniform and follow him into the kitchen... Milton wanders
off to get wasted and leaves you to your own devices.

Kitchen
They cook here, but only a far more generous soul would call it food. The smell
is almost overwhelming. A small closet is north, and you can go back to the dish
room east.

Your friend Milton, now a DC employee, is standing around looking stoned out of
his mind.

Someone has left a bottle of cooking oil out on a counter.

>take oil
Taken.

>n

Closet
You are standing in a rather cramped closet filled with enough sugared cereal to
rot holes in every tooth on the entire campus - and that's a lot of teeth. A
sturdy metal ladder leads up, and the kitchen is south.

A ladder runs from the floor through a skylight in the ceiling.

You can also see a box of cereal here.

>open cereal
You open the box of cereal.

>pour cereal
(first taking the box of cereal)
You rattle out a whole mess of Satan Crunchies all over you and the ground. You
also dislodge the free prize, which turns out to be a pentacle on a silver
chain!

>take pentacle
Taken.

>drop visor,apron,cereal
official dining commons visor: (First taking the official dining commons visor
off)
You take off the official dining commons visor.
Dropped.
official dining commons apron: (First taking the official dining commons apron
off)
You take off the official dining commons apron.
Dropped.
box of cereal: Dropped.

>u

Roof
Up on a slate roof with an unspectacular view of the campus, which, from this
vantage point, rather resembles a sty, what with the muddy paths, wooden fences,
and all. It's actually not in such bad shape right now, given that most of the
little oinkers are home on holiday. The top of a ladder leads down back into the
closet.

A cute little glass bong is here.

>take bong
Taken.

>d

Closet

A ladder runs from the floor through a skylight in the ceiling.

You can also see a box of cereal, an official dining commons apron and an
official dining commons visor here.

>s

Kitchen

Your friend Milton, now a DC employee, is standing around looking stoned out of
his mind.

>e

Dish Room

>ne

Smoking Section

You can see a food tray and a cigarette lighter here.

>nw

Dining Commons Atrium

A line of students snakes its way up to a window where one may obtain what the
DC, despite all logic, calls "food."

>n

Dining Commons Entrance

A Dining Commons line lady sits here on her stool, chewing gum and making
occasional rude sucking noises with it.

>e
You skulk out of the dining commons...

Outside Dining Commons

>e

Path
You're plodding noisily along a muddy east-west path. Offensive squelching
noises accompany each footstep. Some grey and scraggly trees punctuate the sides
in a half-hearted attempt to make this industrial nightmare look slightly more
natural.

>e

Outside Campus Center
The campus center is a bizarre building, looking somewhat like a giant Belgian
waffle perched precariously on large concrete pillars. Going east will take you
inside this complex, and the path remains to the west.

>e

Campus Center Concourse
A long stretch of flagstone paved floor leads off to the east. A sign indicates
the music and reading room to the south. The door through which you entered is
west.

>s

Music Room
Although this place is usually full of bookish types in full-on study mode, the
room is strangely deserted right now. The large (soundproof) glass doors are
north.

You can see a Sony walkman (which is closed) here.

>open walkman
Opening the walkman reveals a Kate Bush tape.

>take tape
Taken.

>drop tape
Dropped.

>take walkman
Taken.

>n

Campus Center Concourse

>e

Campus Center Concourse
A long stretch of flagstone paved floor runs both east and west. There are
usually many tables filled with ideological zealots hawking a new religion or
ski club or CIA recruitment plan, but right now there is one lone Jesus Freak
table, and it's to the north. Off to the south is the information desk and lost
and found area.

>n

Jesus Loves You
You are at a large table dotted with colourful pamphlets and covered by a felt
sign that sums up the belief system of this particular cult with admirable
brevity: "Jesus is Lord". The concourse passes by to the south.

A pimply, straggly haired Jesus Freak, his face beaming with the inane smile of
the truly stupid mans the table, passing out pamphlets and shouting "Jesus loves
you!" at unsuspecting passers-by.

The Jesus Freak flips through his pocket Bible and looks up a particularly
heartwarming (to him) passage.

>ask freak about tape
The zealot looks excited - you are the first person in days to talk to him. "Ah
yes, that there's a tape of the demonaic Barry Manilow, whose songs are
scientifically proven to cause cancer, herpes, gangrene, and halitosis in all
rational creatures. Would you like to take a closer look at it?" As he hands it
to you, you realize that you may have more in common with the zealot than you'd
like to admit. He begins to preach loudly and monotonously about the evils of
rock and roll.

The Jesus Freak bursts into a quick psalm.

>show freak pentacle
The zealot's eyes light on the devil's insignia and begin to glaze over. He
starts to froth at the mouth and scream incoherent nonsense (although the
difference is not immediately apparent). Making the sign of the cross, he backs
away from you and runs off to parts unknown.

[Your score has just gone up by five points.]

>drop pentacle
Dropped.

>put tape in walkman
You put the Barry Manilow tape into the Sony walkman.

>play walkman
(first closing the Sony walkman)
Music dribbles tinnily out of the headphones.

>wear walkman
You put on the Sony walkman.

>s

Campus Center Concourse

>s

Information Desk
A giant map of campus, a marble desk, and a lost and found box: these are the
joys of the information desk. The equal thrill of the concourse can be found to
the north.

A young woman, presumably the information desk receptionist, lies slumped over
the cool marble, apparently asleep.

You can also see a lost and found box (which is closed) here.

>open box
You open the lost and found box, revealing an umbrella and a pair of gloves.

>wear gloves
(first taking the pair of gloves)
You put on the pair of gloves.

>take umbrella
Taken.

>open umbrella
You open the umbrella.

>n

Campus Center Concourse

>e

Campus Center Concourse
You're at a T-intersection. The concourse runs east-west, with a branch to the
north. The grey flagstone is as uninspiring here as it is everywhere else.

There is an expensive pair of Vuarnet sunglasses here.

>wear sunglasses
(first taking the pair of sunglasses)
You put on the pair of sunglasses.

>e

Campus Center Concourse
This is the eastern end of the concourse. From the north comes futuristic sounds
and many flashing lights. A door to the east leads outside.

A small alien spaceship suddenly materializes out of thin air. Five greenish
blobs with antennae ooze down an exit ramp and drop a shiny bottle at your feet.
After a quick burst of alien gibberish, they roll excitedly back into the ship,
which just as suddenly vanishes.

>e

Outside Campus Center
You are standing on a path east of the campus center. From the north you hear
the quacks of ducks at the campus pond.

A large grate in the ground belches an unpleasant-smelling cloud of steam into
the air.

>pour oil on grate
The oil soaks into the rust on the grating.

>open grate
With much puffing and exertion, you manage to ease up one end of the grate.

>d

Storm Drain
You've clambered down a ladder to a rather slimy ledge, and are now up to your
ankles in brackish water. The water swirls around and through the drain to the
southwest.

Lying in a small alcove is a metal tool chest.

You hear the murmurings of workmen somewhere in the drain.

>open chest
You open the tool chest, revealing a pair of pliers.

>take pliers
Taken.

You hear the murmurings of workmen somewhere in the drain.

>u
You clamber up the ladder and emerge from the hole to the curious stares of
passers-by.

Outside Campus Center

A large grate has been moved aside, allowing access to the storm drain below.

>n

Campus Pond
This is the pond, crossroads of the campus. Famed for its man-made beauty and
the indigenous strain of ducks which is unbelievably resistant to ordinary
pollutants. They also manage to subsist almost entirely on a diet of stale bread
and popcorn, a mystery which has fascinated many of the country's eminent
zoologists. To the north is the much-reviled Whitmore Administration Building.
The country's tallest public library can be found to the east. A busy street is
west of here, and the Campus Center is gleaming dully off to the south.

>e
A few bricks bounce harmlessly off your umbrella.

Outside Library
The library is a masterpiece of engineering. Standing twenty-six stories tall,
it is the tallest public library in the country. Unfortunately, due to a
spectacular oversight, the builders neglected to take into account the weight of
a million books, and the building is sinking into the ground slowly but surely.
Also, bricks keep falling off of it. The entrance is east, and the quacks of
ducks can be heard to the west.

>e

Library Entrance
The lobby here is made of cool marble. Signs point out the Card Catalog room to
the north and the exit to the west.

>n

Card Catalogue Room
Most of the typical card catalog files have been replaced by modern computer
equipment in an attempt to make life much more convenient for the students.
Someone neglected to tell the planners that index cards aren't subject to power
failures or disk crashes, however.

There is a small computer terminal here, hooked up to the library database.

>put id in slot
You put the ID card into the slot.

>type mo3xyan2l on terminal
The machine seems satisfied and prints "THOTH PREFACE" on the display. The book
comes tumbling out a hidden chute and lands in a heap on the floor.

>open book
You rifle the pages, noting the copyright page, table of contents, preface,
forward and so forth.

>tear preface
You rip the page out of the book. Upon closer inspection, you notice that it's
really a sheet of acid, with the preface printed on top.

>s

Library Entrance

>w

Outside Library

>w

Campus Pond

>n

Outside Whitmore
Imagine all the worst bureaucratic excesses you can, multiply by ten, and'll you
have a fair idea of the thievery and ineptitude that rules in the Whitmore
Administration Building, possibly the most loathed structure on the entire
campus. If you dare, you can enter to the north, or retreat to the pastoral
grace of the pond south.

>n

Whitmore Entrance
You're in the dungeon of doom. There aren't any skeletons chained to the walls,
but I suspect that's because the janitors just finished cleaning this area a few
minutes ago. Unsettling moans of pain and the sound of cash registers indicate
that the Bursar's office is west. You may wimp out to the south.

There is an enormous crowd of people here, all waiting in line to get to the
Bursar's office. If you wait in this line, I estimate that it will take 7 years
to get to the front.

There is a sign here.

>turn sign
You deftly snap the sign around so it's pointing in the opposite direction. The
reaction happens slowly but surely... The crowd notices that they've been
waiting in the wrong line! A few brave souls get in line in another room, and
soon there is a stampede for the other end of the hall!

[Your score has just gone up by ten points.]

>w

Bursar's Office
The castle treasury! Many students have found out the hard way that the
administration can take an infinite amount without giving away one penny. You
may effect your escape to the east.

A neanderthal bureaucrat (name tag: "Bob.") stands here waiting to make your
life more of a living hell than it already is.

As you enter, the gentleman behind the desk smiles and says, "Howdy, what can I
do for you?"

>ask bob about form
"Yup, we got one of them. Just give me your name and I'll get you the form."

>bob, a2487493
Bob exhales and the scent of garlic nearly knocks you off your feet. "Here ya
go, pal. Have a nice day."

He hands you the form.

>e

Whitmore Entrance

There is a sign here.

>s

Outside Whitmore

>s

Campus Pond

>s

Outside Campus Center

A large grate has been moved aside, allowing access to the storm drain below.

>w

Campus Center Concourse

You can see a small bottle of greenish liquid here.

>w

Campus Center Concourse

>n

Elevator Lobby
Elevators usually arrive here, but, like everything, it's a bit of a crap shoot.
Only one is currently working, and it is sitting here with its doors open
waiting to take some unsuspecting dupe to the floor of their choice. The
concourse is south.

There is an elevator waiting here, its doors open.

>get in
(the elevator)

Hotel Elevator
You're in a small elevator which reeks of tobacco. Knife-carved graffiti adorns
the walls.

A small panel of buttons is located to the left of the door.

>press l
The doors slam shut, the elevator moves with a whoosh that simultaneously puts
your stomach in your brain and your teeth in your shoes. The door whips open
again, almost throwing you out.

>get out

Hotel Lobby
This is actually a very nice place to relax _ overstuffed sofas and tall picture
windows provide a comfortable environment in which to chill, read the paper, or
just blow off classes. The main desk is to the north.

There is an elevator waiting here, its doors open.

>n

Hotel Desk
Supposedly you can get a room here, but I've never heard of anyone actually
managing the trick. When you decide to give up, the lobby is south.

Standing behind the front desk is a perky looking hotel employee.

>give employee form
She looks at it and says, "OK. I guess I have no choice." She grabs the $30 from
you and glumly hands you the hotel room key.

[Your score has just gone up by five points.]

>s

Hotel Lobby

There is an elevator waiting here, its doors open.

>get in
(the elevator)

Hotel Elevator
You're in a small elevator which reeks of tobacco. Knife-carved graffiti adorns
the walls.

A small panel of buttons is located to the left of the door.

>press h
The doors slam shut, the elevator moves with a whoosh that simultaneously puts
your stomach in your brain and your teeth in your shoes. The door whips open
again, almost throwing you out.

>get out

Hotel Hallway
This little waiting area smells slightly of disinfectant and gives way to a hall
full of rooms, to the west.

There is an elevator waiting here, its doors open.

You are beginning to feel sleepy.

>w
You take a look at the key, stride purposefully towards the correct room, and
unlock the door...

Hotel Room
You are in your room at the hotel. You wonder briefly about the mental state of
the interior designer who thought up this color scheme, and hope to yourself
that he or she faced a slow and painful death, preferably involving thousands of
stinging insects. There is a door to the south.

>sleep
This is a nice safe place to recover your strength. After a few hours of some
really serious shuteye, you awake feeling much refreshed, although the
hallucinogenic chemical in your bloodstream is still nagging at the back of your
brain.

>s
You head back to the elevator lobby.

Hotel Hallway

There is an elevator waiting here, its doors open.

>get in
(the elevator)

Hotel Elevator
You're in a small elevator which reeks of tobacco. Knife-carved graffiti adorns
the walls.

A small panel of buttons is located to the left of the door.

>press c
The doors slam shut, the elevator moves with a whoosh that simultaneously puts
your stomach in your brain and your teeth in your shoes. The door whips open
again, almost throwing you out.

>get out

Elevator Lobby

There is an elevator waiting here, its doors open.

>s

Campus Center Concourse

>e

Campus Center Concourse

You can see a small bottle of greenish liquid here.

>n
With the sunglasses blocking out the visual portion, and the bland sounds of
Barry Manilow muting the sound effects, you are able to stand in the arcade
without freaking out due to overstimulation.

Arcade
Addicted youth stand around video and pinball machines, wiggling their bodies
lewdly, occasionally shouting incomprehensible phrases like "Go fer the hill!"
and "Lionman!" The concourse is back to the south, and light from the Student
Union filters in through a window in a steel door to the east.

One pinball machine catches your eye.

You can also see a steel locker set (which is closed) here.

>open locker
You open the steel locker set, revealing a Cheech 'n' Chong lunch box.

>open box
You open the Cheech 'n' Chong lunch box, revealing an ecstasy capsule and a vial
of liquid.

>take quarter with pliers
The pliers grab the quarter and it falls to the floor with a satisfying metallic
clink.

>drop pliers,umbrella,key,bottle
pair of pliers: Dropped.
umbrella: Dropped.
hotel room key: Dropped.
empty bottle: Dropped.

>take quarter,ecstasy,vial,box
quarter: Taken.
ecstasy capsule: Taken.
vial of liquid: Taken.
Cheech 'n' Chong lunch box: Taken.

[Your score has just gone up by four points.]

>put acid,bong in box
sheet of high-powered blotter acid: Done.
bong: Done.

>e
The steel door locks behind you.

Student Union
Lots of interesting things happen here: crowds rally and riot for their ideals,
heated intellectual debates are fought and won, ideas are sociably
interchanged... but mainly a lot of people stand around staring at the
television sets mounted in the walls. There is a small alcove to the east and a
set of scuffed stairs leads up and down.

>u

Staircase
This is a long and broad staircase which leads to the RSO offices. It, like most
staircases, leads up and down.

>u

RSO Corridor
The offices of many diverse student groups litter this corridor, in both the
literal and figurative senses. There is a staircase at the south end of the
hall. There are no lights on in any of the offices, except for one which is to
the north.

>n

Republican Club
This place displays what is really wrong with America today. You've got your
George Bush photos on the wall, PMRC literature scattered on a table, "Come Back
George - All Is Forgiven" bumper stickers and other offensive paraphernalia.

By the odious smell of elephant, you judge the fellow in the pinstripe suit to
be a Republican. His name tag says "HELLO MY NAME IS M. Greg Rothman (but my
friends call me "M")"

>give greg ecstasy
Rothman looks at the gelatin capsule. "Oh boy! Vitamins! Gotta keep up the
strength if we're to keep America american!" He pops the capsule and sighs
contentedly.

>wait
Time passes.

>wait
Time passes.

>wait
Time passes.

A happy grin breaks out on M. Greg's face. He starts to giggle uncontrollably
and fondle the desk. "Wow! Real Plywood!"

Greg giggles and fondles the desk.

>give greg bear
As soon as his now-overly-sensitized flesh comes into contact with the plush
teddy, an inane smile breaks out on Rothman's face. The effect is extremely
unsettling.

In a giggly blissed out voice, he tells you, "Oh, gosh, you're so nice!! Gee, I
don't know what I could possibly ever do to repay you for being such a nice
person. Oh here, why don't you take this scale?  I guess I don't really need to
mail out these propaganda booklets. Politics is such a bore. I'd much rather go
out and play with flowers!" (As he chatters on, you realize that you preferred
him when he was a grumpy, uptight Republican.)

You take the scale and leave Rothman to fondle the teddy bear.

Greg giggles and fondles the desk.

[Your score has just gone up by nineteen points.]

>put scale in box
You put the weighing scale into the Cheech 'n' Chong lunch box.

Greg giggles and fondles the desk.

>s

RSO Corridor

>s

Staircase

>d

Student Union

>e

Vend-O-Mat
This is nothing more than a small recessed area with a meager selection of
vending machines: newspaper and drinks only, really. You can return west to the
Student Union proper.

You can see a newspaper vending machine and a drinks vending machine here.

>put quarter in drinks
The machine swallows the quarter and makes a reassuring mechanical clicking
noise. Press one of the selection buttons now, I guess.

>press coffee
The drinks dispenser drops a cup into its chute and a concealed nozzle quickly
fills the cup with thin liquid.

>drink cup
It's fairly gross, but being a veteran of caffeine-fueled all night study
sessions helps you deal with it. You toss the cup in a nearby trash receptacle, 
and soon thereafter begin to feel a familiar caffeine buzz.

>w

Student Union

>d
A steel door at the bottom of the stairs swings shut behind you and locks with a
soft click.

Campus Center Concourse

You can see a small bottle of greenish liquid here.

>e

Outside Campus Center

A large grate has been moved aside, allowing access to the storm drain below.

>n

Campus Pond

>w

Pleasant Street
This is the main road through campus. The pond lies east, and a modern looking
building sits on the west side of the road. University Ave splits off here to
the north.

>w

University Health Services
You are standing outside the University Health Center which serves the Five
College area residents, students and non-students alike. You can enter to the
west, or head east, back out to Pleasant Street.

>w

Health Services Lobby
The lobby is a functional area (read: dead boring), featuring a glass case
filled with "Safe Sex" informational displays. Signs point out the convenient
pharmacy to the west, the comfortable waiting room to the north, and the
inviting exit to the east.

>n

Waiting Room
They've really got it all here - old magazines, hardwood chairs, boring safe sex
pamphlets, you name it. They've also got a sign pointing west to the skilled
Doctor's office, and the refreshingly oxygen-rich lobby to the south.

>wait
Good idea. That's what you do when you're in a waiting room, right? Very soon
after adopting your best slouching-in-the-chair-hoping-someone-will-notice-you
posture, a nurse comes scuttling over. She makes you fill in a few forms and
then announces, "Doctor Floyd will see you now."

>w

Doctor's Office
Doctor's offices always have an air of sickness about them, which is just
another bitter irony. Anyway, this is a fairly typical example of its species.
Dr Floyd's degree is on the wall, and you also spot a jar of tongue depressors,
some rubber gloves, lubricants, etc. You can get out to the east, if you run.

Dr. Floyd is here, wearing a long white coat and sitting behind his desk.

Dr. Floyd says, "What can I do for you, sport?"

>doctor, examine me
The doctor performs a few perfunctory examinations, some of which are best left
undescribed. He eventually gets around to checking your heart rate and blood
pressure at which points he exclaims, "Yow, a highly elevated pulse! Tell ya
what, sport - get this prescription filled, and take two any time you feel
stressed out."

He quickly scribbles off a prescription and hands it to you.

Dr. Floyd is standing by the door, waiting for you to leave.

[Your score has just gone up by five points.]

>e
Doctor Floyd calls after you: "Hey, shut the door on your way out, OK sport?"

Waiting Room

>s

Health Services Lobby

>w

Pharmacy
The pharmacy area is predominantly populated by students waiting for diet pills,
birth control pills, or tranquilizers (which they will take when either of the
first two fail). A sign points out the beautifully manicured lobby to the east.

A white-smocked pharmacist stands behind the window, waiting to help you.

>give pharmacist prescription
The pharmacist looks at the slip, sighs a bored sigh and comes back with a small
paper packet which she hands to you.

>e

Health Services Lobby

>e

University Health Services

>e

Pleasant Street

>n

University Ave
This is a smaller thoroughfare that winds its away around campus. Unfortunately,
you're not going to be able to do a whole lot of winding with it because there
is a police roadblock set up to the north. You can return to Pleasant Street to
the south.

>eat valium
You pop the pills and soon begin to feel much more relaxed.

Your caffeine buzz is wearing off.

>n
The cops are making you sweat a little, but you are able to slouch by in a
sufficiently relaxed manner. One or two cops glance at you quickly,  but don't
see anything odd enough to rouse them out of their routine.

Outside Flansburgh Dorm
Flansburgh is in the more "modern" area of campus (which means that it was built
in the 1960s and looks ridiculously dated now). You notice entirely too much
brown mahogany trim, some more of that pathetic shubbery, and a door leading in
to the east.

>examine shrubbery
You notice a small mound of dirt under a shrub, with a toothpick stuck in it.
Knowing that this is a favorite trick of Keith's, you do a little experimental
digging and unearth the incriminating address book!

>take book
Taken.

>e

Flansburgh Lobby
The lobby is an airy and open space, dominated by a grand spiral staircase,
which leads up and down. You can see a continuous hustle of activity happening
above - cops are moving around and conversing at the top of the stairs.

>d

Flansburgh Basement
This is a sooty, smelly basement. Damp patches of mildew shine on the wall,
reflecting the light of a naked, grime-coated, 60-watt bulb. A large trash
incinerator is visible at the north end of the basement, about 50 feet away.

>drink vial
It burns slightly on the way down. After a few moments of disorientation, you
begin to feel the effects of the strange chemical in your bloodstream lessening!
In fact, you're just about as close to normal as you'll ever be.

>n

Flansburgh Basement
This small corner of the basement is even grimier and smellier than the previous
bit. At least it is warm and dry, mainly due to the presence of a huge trash
incinerator.

>take bong,scale,acid
bong: Taken.
weighing scale: Taken.
sheet of high-powered blotter acid: Taken.

>put bong,scale,acid,book in incinerator
bong: You toss the bong into the furnace with a jaunty backhand, and it's gone
forever.
weighing scale: You toss the weighing scale into the furnace with a jaunty
backhand, and it's gone forever.
sheet of high-powered blotter acid: You toss the sheet of high-powered blotter
acid into the furnace with a jaunty backhand, and it's gone forever.
address book: You toss the address book into the furnace with a jaunty backhand,
and it's gone forever.

[Your score has just gone up by one hundred points.]

>s

Flansburgh Basement

>u
As you climb the stairs up to the lobby, a squad of policemen burst through the
front door. You attempt to dodge, but it's too late - they've seen you!

"Grab the little punk!" one of them says.

They eye you with the detached interest of a dog contemplating a bone.
"Tampering with evidence, I bet," the chief inspector says viciously.

You are manhandled into the back of a van, and whisked away to the station.

You are taken to a holding cell, where you remain for several hours. During this
time, the strange chemical in your body wears off. Not long after this, some
policemen enter the cell. One says, "I don't know how you did it, you little
rat, but we've got nothing on you, and we can't hold you any longer." He spits
out the words distastefully: "You're free to go."

After having your possessions returned, you step out into the clear air of
another crisp New England fall day to find Keith waiting for you in his beat-up
Ford. "Dude! Am I ever glad to see you! My lawyer got me probation, so I'm clear
for now."

You smile in relief.

Keith grins wickedly. "So, you wanna go smoke a fatty?"




    *** You have won ***


In that game you scored 158 out of a possible 154, in 162 turns.

Would you like to RESTART, RESTORE a saved game or QUIT?
> restart


It's late in the day, classes were hellish, and the last thing you need is to
come home and hear this on your answering machine:

"Hey man, it's Keith. The pigs finally got me, and if they ever manage to find
my address book, they'll probably be coming for you too. I can't tell you where
I've hidden it, for obvious reasons, but if I were you I'd try to find it first,
along with any other questionable items you may have "lost." By the way, I
wouldn't hang around your room too much - that's the first place they look for
you... Damn! Time's up, I gotta go... good luck!"

BUSTED
Psychedelic Interactive Fiction (not to be taken internally)
Copyright (c) 1994 Scumbag Software, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Release 4 / Serial number 941223 / Inform v1402 Library 5/7

Dorm Room
You are in your dorm room, in Linnell House. It is bigger than a breadbox, but
not by much. The door is to the north.

There is a standard-issue dorm table here, on which are a wallet (which is
closed), a hastily scrawled note and an ash tray.

>script off
Transcripting is already off.

>

It's late in the day, classes were hellish, and the last thing you need is to
come home and hear this on your answering machine:

"Hey man, it's Keith. The pigs finally got me, and if they ever manage to find
my address book, they'll probably be coming for you too. I can't tell you where
I've hidden it, for obvious reasons, but if I were you I'd try to find it first,
along with any other questionable items you may have "lost." By the way, I
wouldn't hang around your room too much - that's the first place they look for
you... Damn! Time's up, I gotta go... good luck!"

BUSTED
Psychedelic Interactive Fiction (not to be taken internally)
Copyright (c) 1994 Scumbag Software, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Release 4 / Serial number 941223 / Inform v1402 Library 5/7

Dorm Room
You are in your dorm room, in Linnell House. It is bigger than a breadbox, but
not by much. The door is to the north.

There is a standard-issue dorm table here, on which are a wallet (which is
closed), a hastily scrawled note and an ash tray.

>
Hot key -- Playback on
Do you want MORE prompts? (y/n) >n

Continue input...
search ashtray
You poke around in the refuse and unearth a roach that you had forgotten about!
(Not surprising, given what you were doing when you created it.)

You're feeling pretty hungry.

>open wallet
You open the wallet, revealing thirty dollars cash and an ID card.

>take roach,cash,id
roach: Taken.
thirty dollars cash: Taken.
ID card: Taken.

>n
You grab an elevator and head outside...

Outside Linnell House
The diligently landscaped area outside of your dorm contains a few anorexic
shrubs and some wild crabgrass. To the south is the red brick hell you call
home. A muddy path leads north.

Suddenly your girlfriend Sydnee comes barging up to you.

"You bastard!" she screams, "I'm through with you and your flakiness!"

Before you can ameliorate her, she flings the teddy bear you gave her for your
two-week anniversary at you and says, "You can keep your stupid bear, asshole!"

She leaves in a huff.

>n
Suddenly, a figure in a long trench coat stumbles out of a nearby bush. He trips
on a tree root and grabs you for support, in the process accidentally jabbing
you with a hypodermic!

"Oops. Sorry, pal!" Before you can react, he giggles and dashes off!

Outside Dining Commons
You're on a path outside of the white stone building (to the west) which serves
as the dining commons for this area. You are not surprised to notice a large
"biohazard" sign on the building. The squat structure of your dorm is visible
off to the south, and the path leads east as well.

>w

Dining Commons Entrance
It smells like a rubbish tip in here - and only a bit less appetizing. The
grubby linoleum leads south to the main atrium and back out to the east.

A Dining Commons line lady sits here on her stool, chewing gum and making
occasional rude sucking noises with it.

>show lady id
The DC lady runs it through the little machine that tells her whether or not
you've been blacklisted. It obviously gives her good news because she nods
towards the south and mutters, "Go ahead, brat."

[Your score has just gone up by five points.]

>s

Dining Commons Atrium
If bricks could speak, it's likely that the ones in this room would say "hey,
don't throw that chipped beef at me." You spy the non-smoking section of the DC
off to the southwest, and the smog enshrouded smoking section to the southeast.

A line of students snakes its way up to a window where one may obtain what the
DC, despite all logic, calls "food."

>wait in line
After an interminable wait, you collect a tray full of unexciting food.

>se

Smoking Section
It smells like an airport lounge, only worse. However, given the caliber of the
cooking in this place, it could be a lot worse. You can bring your dirty plates
to the dish room to the southwest, or head back out, to the northwest.

>light roach
(with the cigarette lighter)
The roach catches. Smells nice!

You're beginning to feel a little bit drugged.

>smoke roach
Ah! That's great, really good. Just enough to give you a nice buzz, too. And it
goes down so smooth...

You notice that you're starting to develop a case of the munchies.

>eat food
In your state of extreme munchiness, you manage to ignore the fact that this is
possibly the most repulsive substance ever to go under the label of "food" in
the history of the world. Well, maybe not that bad, but certainly not good... As
it slides down your throat, you imagine you hear whimpering.

[Your score has just gone up by five points.]

>light joint
(with the cigarette lighter)
The end of the joint starts to burn. The sweet smell of dope wafts into your
twitching nostrils. You salivate madly - Pavlov would be well pleased.

>drop lighter,tray
cigarette lighter: Dropped.
food tray: Dropped.

>sw

Dish Room
This is where luckless students do the dishes for thousands of their hungry
peers, three times a day. Correspondingly, an air of intense gloom and broken
spirits pervades the region. You can effect your return to the DC proper by
going northeast or northwest. The kitchen is to the west, but a sign over the
door cautions "Authorized Personnel Only"

Your friend Milton, now a DC employee, is standing around looking hung over.

>give milton joint
A huge grin spreads over Milton's face. "Righteous!" he exclaims. Suddenly, he
appears worried, and with a sharpness of mind you initially thought him
completely incapable of, he blurts out: "Can't smoke this out here. I've got it!
Let's go into the kitchen, nobody will notice there... One problem - you're not
dressed properly. Wait here."

Milton sneaks off, then quickly returns with an apron and visor, which he hands
to you. You put on the uniform and follow him into the kitchen... Milton wanders
off to get wasted and leaves you to your own devices.

Kitchen
They cook here, but only a far more generous soul would call it food. The smell
is almost overwhelming. A small closet is north, and you can go back to the dish
room east.

Your friend Milton, now a DC employee, is standing around looking stoned out of
his mind.

Someone has left a bottle of cooking oil out on a counter.

>take oil
Taken.

>n

Closet
You are standing in a rather cramped closet filled with enough sugared cereal to
rot holes in every tooth on the entire campus - and that's a lot of teeth. A
sturdy metal ladder leads up, and the kitchen is south.

A ladder runs from the floor through a skylight in the ceiling.

You can also see a box of cereal here.

>open cereal
You open the box of cereal.

>pour cereal
(first taking the box of cereal)
You rattle out a whole mess of Satan Crunchies all over you and the ground. You
also dislodge the free prize, which turns out to be a pentacle on a silver
chain!

>take pentacle
Taken.

>drop visor,apron,cereal
official dining commons visor: (First taking the official dining commons visor
off)
You take off the official dining commons visor.
Dropped.
official dining commons apron: (First taking the official dining commons apron
off)
You take off the official dining commons apron.
Dropped.
box of cereal: Dropped.

>u

Roof
Up on a slate roof with an unspectacular view of the campus, which, from this
vantage point, rather resembles a sty, what with the muddy paths, wooden fences,
and all. It's actually not in such bad shape right now, given that most of the
little oinkers are home on holiday. The top of a ladder leads down back into the
closet.

A cute little glass bong is here.

>take bong
Taken.

>d

Closet

A ladder runs from the floor through a skylight in the ceiling.

You can also see a box of cereal, an official dining commons apron and an
official dining commons visor here.

>s

Kitchen

Your friend Milton, now a DC employee, is standing around looking stoned out of
his mind.

>e

Dish Room

>ne

Smoking Section

You can see a food tray and a cigarette lighter here.

>nw

Dining Commons Atrium

A line of students snakes its way up to a window where one may obtain what the
DC, despite all logic, calls "food."

>n

Dining Commons Entrance

A Dining Commons line lady sits here on her stool, chewing gum and making
occasional rude sucking noises with it.

>e
You skulk out of the dining commons...

Outside Dining Commons

>e

Path
You're plodding noisily along a muddy east-west path. Offensive squelching
noises accompany each footstep. Some grey and scraggly trees punctuate the sides
in a half-hearted attempt to make this industrial nightmare look slightly more
natural.

>e

Outside Campus Center
The campus center is a bizarre building, looking somewhat like a giant Belgian
waffle perched precariously on large concrete pillars. Going east will take you
inside this complex, and the path remains to the west.

>e

Campus Center Concourse
A long stretch of flagstone paved floor leads off to the east. A sign indicates
the music and reading room to the south. The door through which you entered is
west.

>s

Music Room
Although this place is usually full of bookish types in full-on study mode, the
room is strangely deserted right now. The large (soundproof) glass doors are
north.

You can see a Sony walkman (which is closed) here.

>open walkman
Opening the walkman reveals a Kate Bush tape.

>take tape
Taken.

>drop tape
Dropped.

>take walkman
Taken.

>n

Campus Center Concourse

>e

Campus Center Concourse
A long stretch of flagstone paved floor runs both east and west. There are
usually many tables filled with ideological zealots hawking a new religion or
ski club or CIA recruitment plan, but right now there is one lone Jesus Freak
table, and it's to the north. Off to the south is the information desk and lost
and found area.

>n

Jesus Loves You
You are at a large table dotted with colourful pamphlets and covered by a felt
sign that sums up the belief system of this particular cult with admirable
brevity: "Jesus is Lord". The concourse passes by to the south.

A pimply, straggly haired Jesus Freak, his face beaming with the inane smile of
the truly stupid mans the table, passing out pamphlets and shouting "Jesus loves
you!" at unsuspecting passers-by.

>ask freak about tape
The zealot looks excited - you are the first person in days to talk to him. "Ah
yes, that there's a tape of the demonaic Barry Manilow, whose songs are
scientifically proven to cause cancer, herpes, gangrene, and halitosis in all
rational creatures. Would you like to take a closer look at it?" As he hands it
to you, you realize that you may have more in common with the zealot than you'd
like to admit. He begins to preach loudly and monotonously about the evils of
rock and roll.

The Jesus Freak flips through his pocket Bible and looks up a particularly
heartwarming (to him) passage.

>show freak pentacle
The zealot's eyes light on the devil's insignia and begin to glaze over. He
starts to froth at the mouth and scream incoherent nonsense (although the
difference is not immediately apparent). Making the sign of the cross, he backs
away from you and runs off to parts unknown.

[Your score has just gone up by five points.]

>drop pentacle
Dropped.

>put tape in walkman
You put the Barry Manilow tape into the Sony walkman.

>play walkman
(first closing the Sony walkman)
Music dribbles tinnily out of the headphones.

>wear walkman
You put on the Sony walkman.

>s

Campus Center Concourse

>s

Information Desk
A giant map of campus, a marble desk, and a lost and found box: these are the
joys of the information desk. The equal thrill of the concourse can be found to
the north.

A young woman, presumably the information desk receptionist, lies slumped over
the cool marble, apparently asleep.

You can also see a lost and found box (which is closed) here.

>open box
You open the lost and found box, revealing an umbrella and a pair of gloves.

>wear gloves
(first taking the pair of gloves)
You put on the pair of gloves.

>take umbrella
Taken.

>open umbrella
You open the umbrella.

>n

Campus Center Concourse

>e

Campus Center Concourse
You're at a T-intersection. The concourse runs east-west, with a branch to the
north. The grey flagstone is as uninspiring here as it is everywhere else.

There is an expensive pair of Vuarnet sunglasses here.

>wear sunglasses
(first taking the pair of sunglasses)
You put on the pair of sunglasses.

>e

Campus Center Concourse
This is the eastern end of the concourse. From the north comes futuristic sounds
and many flashing lights. A door to the east leads outside.

A small alien spaceship suddenly materializes out of thin air. Five greenish
blobs with antennae ooze down an exit ramp and drop a shiny bottle at your feet.
After a quick burst of alien gibberish, they roll excitedly back into the ship,
which just as suddenly vanishes.

>e

Outside Campus Center
You are standing on a path east of the campus center. From the north you hear
the quacks of ducks at the campus pond.

A large grate in the ground belches an unpleasant-smelling cloud of steam into
the air.

>pour oil on grate
The oil soaks into the rust on the grating.

>open grate
With much puffing and exertion, you manage to ease up one end of the grate.

>d

Storm Drain
You've clambered down a ladder to a rather slimy ledge, and are now up to your
ankles in brackish water. The water swirls around and through the drain to the
southwest.

Lying in a small alcove is a metal tool chest.

>open chest
You open the tool chest, revealing a pair of pliers.

>take pliers
Taken.

>u
You clamber up the ladder and emerge from the hole to the curious stares of
passers-by.

Outside Campus Center

A large grate has been moved aside, allowing access to the storm drain below.

>n

Campus Pond
This is the pond, crossroads of the campus. Famed for its man-made beauty and
the indigenous strain of ducks which is unbelievably resistant to ordinary
pollutants. They also manage to subsist almost entirely on a diet of stale bread
and popcorn, a mystery which has fascinated many of the country's eminent
zoologists. To the north is the much-reviled Whitmore Administration Building.
The country's tallest public library can be found to the east. A busy street is
west of here, and the Campus Center is gleaming dully off to the south.

>e
A few bricks bounce harmlessly off your umbrella.

Outside Library
The library is a masterpiece of engineering. Standing twenty-six stories tall,
it is the tallest public library in the country. Unfortunately, due to a
spectacular oversight, the builders neglected to take into account the weight of
a million books, and the building is sinking into the ground slowly but surely.
Also, bricks keep falling off of it. The entrance is east, and the quacks of
ducks can be heard to the west.

>e

Library Entrance
The lobby here is made of cool marble. Signs point out the Card Catalog room to
the north and the exit to the west.

>n

Card Catalogue Room
Most of the typical card catalog files have been replaced by modern computer
equipment in an attempt to make life much more convenient for the students.
Someone neglected to tell the planners that index cards aren't subject to power
failures or disk crashes, however.

There is a small computer terminal here, hooked up to the library database.

>put id in slot
You put the ID card into the slot.

>type mo3xyan2l on terminal
The machine seems satisfied and prints "THOTH PREFACE" on the display. The book
comes tumbling out a hidden chute and lands in a heap on the floor.

>open book
You rifle the pages, noting the copyright page, table of contents, preface,
forward and so forth.

>tear preface
You rip the page out of the book. Upon closer inspection, you notice that it's
really a sheet of acid, with the preface printed on top.

>s

Library Entrance

>w

Outside Library

>w

Campus Pond

>n

Outside Whitmore
Imagine all the worst bureaucratic excesses you can, multiply by ten, and'll you
have a fair idea of the thievery and ineptitude that rules in the Whitmore
Administration Building, possibly the most loathed structure on the entire
campus. If you dare, you can enter to the north, or retreat to the pastoral
grace of the pond south.

>n

Whitmore Entrance
You're in the dungeon of doom. There aren't any skeletons chained to the walls,
but I suspect that's because the janitors just finished cleaning this area a few
minutes ago. Unsettling moans of pain and the sound of cash registers indicate
that the Bursar's office is west. You may wimp out to the south.

There is an enormous crowd of people here, all waiting in line to get to the
Bursar's office. If you wait in this line, I estimate that it will take 7 years
to get to the front.

There is a sign here.

>turn sign
You deftly snap the sign around so it's pointing in the opposite direction. The
reaction happens slowly but surely... The crowd notices that they've been
waiting in the wrong line! A few brave souls get in line in another room, and
soon there is a stampede for the other end of the hall!

[Your score has just gone up by ten points.]

>w

Bursar's Office
The castle treasury! Many students have found out the hard way that the
administration can take an infinite amount without giving away one penny. You
may effect your escape to the east.

A neanderthal bureaucrat (name tag: "Bob.") stands here waiting to make your
life more of a living hell than it already is.

As you enter, the gentleman behind the desk smiles and says, "Howdy, what can I
do for you?"

>ask bob about form
"Yup, we got one of them. Just give me your name and I'll get you the form."

>bob, a2487493
Bob exhales and the scent of garlic nearly knocks you off your feet. "Here ya
go, pal. Have a nice day."

He hands you the form.

>e

Whitmore Entrance

There is a sign here.

>s

Outside Whitmore

>s

Campus Pond

>s

Outside Campus Center

A large grate has been moved aside, allowing access to the storm drain below.

>w

Campus Center Concourse

You can see a small bottle of greenish liquid here.

>w

Campus Center Concourse

>n

Elevator Lobby
Elevators usually arrive here, but, like everything, it's a bit of a crap shoot.
Only one is currently working, and it is sitting here with its doors open
waiting to take some unsuspecting dupe to the floor of their choice. The
concourse is south.

There is an elevator waiting here, its doors open.

>get in
(the elevator)

Hotel Elevator
You're in a small elevator which reeks of tobacco. Knife-carved graffiti adorns
the walls.

A small panel of buttons is located to the left of the door.

>press l
The doors slam shut, the elevator moves with a whoosh that simultaneously puts
your stomach in your brain and your teeth in your shoes. The door whips open
again, almost throwing you out.

>get out

Hotel Lobby
This is actually a very nice place to relax _ overstuffed sofas and tall picture
windows provide a comfortable environment in which to chill, read the paper, or
just blow off classes. The main desk is to the north.

There is an elevator waiting here, its doors open.

>n

Hotel Desk
Supposedly you can get a room here, but I've never heard of anyone actually
managing the trick. When you decide to give up, the lobby is south.

Standing behind the front desk is a perky looking hotel employee.

>give employee form
She looks at it and says, "OK. I guess I have no choice." She grabs the $30 from
you and glumly hands you the hotel room key.

[Your score has just gone up by five points.]

>s

Hotel Lobby

There is an elevator waiting here, its doors open.

>get in
(the elevator)

Hotel Elevator
You're in a small elevator which reeks of tobacco. Knife-carved graffiti adorns
the walls.

A small panel of buttons is located to the left of the door.

>press h
The doors slam shut, the elevator moves with a whoosh that simultaneously puts
your stomach in your brain and your teeth in your shoes. The door whips open
again, almost throwing you out.

>get out

Hotel Hallway
This little waiting area smells slightly of disinfectant and gives way to a hall
full of rooms, to the west.

There is an elevator waiting here, its doors open.

You are beginning to feel sleepy.

>w
You take a look at the key, stride purposefully towards the correct room, and
unlock the door...

Hotel Room
You are in your room at the hotel. You wonder briefly about the mental state of
the interior designer who thought up this color scheme, and hope to yourself
that he or she faced a slow and painful death, preferably involving thousands of
stinging insects. There is a door to the south.

>sleep
This is a nice safe place to recover your strength. After a few hours of some
really serious shuteye, you awake feeling much refreshed, although the
hallucinogenic chemical in your bloodstream is still nagging at the back of your
brain.

>s
You head back to the elevator lobby.

Hotel Hallway

There is an elevator waiting here, its doors open.

>get in
(the elevator)

Hotel Elevator
You're in a small elevator which reeks of tobacco. Knife-carved graffiti adorns
the walls.

A small panel of buttons is located to the left of the door.

>press c
The doors slam shut, the elevator moves with a whoosh that simultaneously puts
your stomach in your brain and your teeth in your shoes. The door whips open
again, almost throwing you out.

>get out

Elevator Lobby

There is an elevator waiting here, its doors open.

>s

Campus Center Concourse

>e

Campus Center Concourse

You can see a small bottle of greenish liquid here.

>n
With the sunglasses blocking out the visual portion, and the bland sounds of
Barry Manilow muting the sound effects, you are able to stand in the arcade
without freaking out due to overstimulation.

Arcade
Addicted youth stand around video and pinball machines, wiggling their bodies
lewdly, occasionally shouting incomprehensible phrases like "Go fer the hill!"
and "Lionman!" The concourse is back to the south, and light from the Student
Union filters in through a window in a steel door to the east.

One pinball machine catches your eye.

You can also see a steel locker set (which is closed) here.

>open locker
You open the steel locker set, revealing a Cheech 'n' Chong lunch box.

>open box
You open the Cheech 'n' Chong lunch box, revealing an ecstasy capsule and a vial
of liquid.

>take quarter with pliers
The pliers grab the quarter and it falls to the floor with a satisfying metallic
clink.

>drop pliers,umbrella,key,bottle
pair of pliers: Dropped.
umbrella: Dropped.
hotel room key: Dropped.
empty bottle: Dropped.

>take quarter,ecstasy,vial,box
quarter: Taken.
ecstasy capsule: Taken.
vial of liquid: Taken.
Cheech 'n' Chong lunch box: Taken.

[Your score has just gone up by four points.]

>put acid,bong in box
sheet of high-powered blotter acid: Done.
bong: Done.

>e
The steel door locks behind you.

Student Union
Lots of interesting things happen here: crowds rally and riot for their ideals,
heated intellectual debates are fought and won, ideas are sociably
interchanged... but mainly a lot of people stand around staring at the
television sets mounted in the walls. There is a small alcove to the east and a
set of scuffed stairs leads up and down.

>u

Staircase
This is a long and broad staircase which leads to the RSO offices. It, like most
staircases, leads up and down.

>u

RSO Corridor
The offices of many diverse student groups litter this corridor, in both the
literal and figurative senses. There is a staircase at the south end of the
hall. There are no lights on in any of the offices, except for one which is to
the north.

>n

Republican Club
This place displays what is really wrong with America today. You've got your
George Bush photos on the wall, PMRC literature scattered on a table, "Come Back
George - All Is Forgiven" bumper stickers and other offensive paraphernalia.

By the odious smell of elephant, you judge the fellow in the pinstripe suit to
be a Republican. His name tag says "HELLO MY NAME IS M. Greg Rothman (but my
friends call me "M")"

>give greg ecstasy
Rothman looks at the gelatin capsule. "Oh boy! Vitamins! Gotta keep up the
strength if we're to keep America american!" He pops the capsule and sighs
contentedly.

>wait
Time passes.

>wait
Time passes.

>wait
Time passes.

A happy grin breaks out on M. Greg's face. He starts to giggle uncontrollably
and fondle the desk. "Wow! Real Plywood!"

Greg giggles and fondles the desk.

>give greg bear
As soon as his now-overly-sensitized flesh comes into contact with the plush
teddy, an inane smile breaks out on Rothman's face. The effect is extremely
unsettling.

In a giggly blissed out voice, he tells you, "Oh, gosh, you're so nice!! Gee, I
don't know what I could possibly ever do to repay you for being such a nice
person. Oh here, why don't you take this scale?  I guess I don't really need to
mail out these propaganda booklets. Politics is such a bore. I'd much rather go
out and play with flowers!" (As he chatters on, you realize that you preferred
him when he was a grumpy, uptight Republican.)

You take the scale and leave Rothman to fondle the teddy bear.

Greg giggles and fondles the desk.

[Your score has just gone up by nineteen points.]

>put scale in box
You put the weighing scale into the Cheech 'n' Chong lunch box.

Greg giggles and fondles the desk.

>s

RSO Corridor

>s

Staircase

>d

Student Union

>e

Vend-O-Mat
This is nothing more than a small recessed area with a meager selection of
vending machines: newspaper and drinks only, really. You can return west to the
Student Union proper.

You can see a newspaper vending machine and a drinks vending machine here.

>put quarter in drinks
The machine swallows the quarter and makes a reassuring mechanical clicking
noise. Press one of the selection buttons now, I guess.

>press coffee
The drinks dispenser drops a cup into its chute and a concealed nozzle quickly
fills the cup with thin liquid.

>drink cup
It's fairly gross, but being a veteran of caffeine-fueled all night study
sessions helps you deal with it. You toss the cup in a nearby trash receptacle, 
and soon thereafter begin to feel a familiar caffeine buzz.

>w

Student Union

>d
A steel door at the bottom of the stairs swings shut behind you and locks with a
soft click.

Campus Center Concourse

You can see a small bottle of greenish liquid here.

>e

Outside Campus Center

A large grate has been moved aside, allowing access to the storm drain below.

>n

Campus Pond

>w

Pleasant Street
This is the main road through campus. The pond lies east, and a modern looking
building sits on the west side of the road. University Ave splits off here to
the north.

>w

University Health Services
You are standing outside the University Health Center which serves the Five
College area residents, students and non-students alike. You can enter to the
west, or head east, back out to Pleasant Street.

>w

Health Services Lobby
The lobby is a functional area (read: dead boring), featuring a glass case
filled with "Safe Sex" informational displays. Signs point out the convenient
pharmacy to the west, the comfortable waiting room to the north, and the
inviting exit to the east.

>n

Waiting Room
They've really got it all here - old magazines, hardwood chairs, boring safe sex
pamphlets, you name it. They've also got a sign pointing west to the skilled
Doctor's office, and the refreshingly oxygen-rich lobby to the south.

>wait
Good idea. That's what you do when you're in a waiting room, right? Very soon
after adopting your best slouching-in-the-chair-hoping-someone-will-notice-you
posture, a nurse comes scuttling over. She makes you fill in a few forms and
then announces, "Doctor Floyd will see you now."

>w

Doctor's Office
Doctor's offices always have an air of sickness about them, which is just
another bitter irony. Anyway, this is a fairly typical example of its species.
Dr Floyd's degree is on the wall, and you also spot a jar of tongue depressors,
some rubber gloves, lubricants, etc. You can get out to the east, if you run.

Dr. Floyd is here, wearing a long white coat and sitting behind his desk.

>doctor, examine me
The doctor performs a few perfunctory examinations, some of which are best left
undescribed. He eventually gets around to checking your heart rate and blood
pressure at which points he exclaims, "Yow, a highly elevated pulse! Tell ya
what, sport - get this prescription filled, and take two any time you feel
stressed out."

He quickly scribbles off a prescription and hands it to you.

[Your score has just gone up by five points.]

>e
Doctor Floyd calls after you: "Hey, shut the door on your way out, OK sport?"

Waiting Room

>s

Health Services Lobby

>w

Pharmacy
The pharmacy area is predominantly populated by students waiting for diet pills,
birth control pills, or tranquilizers (which they will take when either of the
first two fail). A sign points out the beautifully manicured lobby to the east.

A white-smocked pharmacist stands behind the window, waiting to help you.

>give pharmacist prescription
The pharmacist looks at the slip, sighs a bored sigh and comes back with a small
paper packet which she hands to you.

>e

Health Services Lobby

>e

University Health Services

>e

Pleasant Street

>n

University Ave
This is a smaller thoroughfare that winds its away around campus. Unfortunately,
you're not going to be able to do a whole lot of winding with it because there
is a police roadblock set up to the north. You can return to Pleasant Street to
the south.

>eat valium
You pop the pills and soon begin to feel much more relaxed.

Your caffeine buzz is wearing off.

>n
The cops are making you sweat a little, but you are able to slouch by in a
sufficiently relaxed manner. One or two cops glance at you quickly,  but don't
see anything odd enough to rouse them out of their routine.

Outside Flansburgh Dorm
Flansburgh is in the more "modern" area of campus (which means that it was built
in the 1960s and looks ridiculously dated now). You notice entirely too much
brown mahogany trim, some more of that pathetic shubbery, and a door leading in
to the east.

>examine shrubbery
You notice a small mound of dirt under a shrub, with a toothpick stuck in it.
Knowing that this is a favorite trick of Keith's, you do a little experimental
digging and unearth the incriminating address book!

>take book
Taken.

>e

Flansburgh Lobby
The lobby is an airy and open space, dominated by a grand spiral staircase,
which leads up and down. You can see a continuous hustle of activity happening
above - cops are moving around and conversing at the top of the stairs.

From above, your hear the policeman discussing their favorite Miranda
violations.

>d

Flansburgh Basement
This is a sooty, smelly basement. Damp patches of mildew shine on the wall,
reflecting the light of a naked, grime-coated, 60-watt bulb. A large trash
incinerator is visible at the north end of the basement, about 50 feet away.

>drink vial
It burns slightly on the way down. After a few moments of disorientation, you
begin to feel the effects of the strange chemical in your bloodstream lessening!
In fact, you're just about as close to normal as you'll ever be.

>n

Flansburgh Basement
This small corner of the basement is even grimier and smellier than the previous
bit. At least it is warm and dry, mainly due to the presence of a huge trash
incinerator.

>take bong,scale,acid
bong: Taken.
weighing scale: Taken.
sheet of high-powered blotter acid: Taken.

>put bong,scale,acid,book in incinerator
bong: You toss the bong into the furnace with a jaunty backhand, and it's gone
forever.
weighing scale: You toss the weighing scale into the furnace with a jaunty
backhand, and it's gone forever.
sheet of high-powered blotter acid: You toss the sheet of high-powered blotter
acid into the furnace with a jaunty backhand, and it's gone forever.
address book: You toss the address book into the furnace with a jaunty backhand,
and it's gone forever.

[Your score has just gone up by one hundred points.]

>s

Flansburgh Basement

>u
As you climb the stairs up to the lobby, a squad of policemen burst through the
front door. You attempt to dodge, but it's too late - they've seen you!

"Grab the little punk!" one of them says.

They eye you with the detached interest of a dog contemplating a bone.
"Tampering with evidence, I bet," the chief inspector says viciously.

You are manhandled into the back of a van, and whisked away to the station.

You are taken to a holding cell, where you remain for several hours. During this
time, the strange chemical in your body wears off. Not long after this, some
policemen enter the cell. One says, "I don't know how you did it, you little
rat, but we've got nothing on you, and we can't hold you any longer." He spits
out the words distastefully: "You're free to go."

After having your possessions returned, you step out into the clear air of
another crisp New England fall day to find Keith waiting for you in his beat-up
Ford. "Dude! Am I ever glad to see you! My lawyer got me probation, so I'm clear
for now."

You smile in relief.

Keith grins wickedly. "So, you wanna go smoke a fatty?"




    *** You have won ***


In that game you scored 158 out of a possible 154, in 162 turns.

Would you like to RESTART, RESTORE a saved game or QUIT?
> 
Hot key -- New game
Do you wish to restart? (y/n) >y


It's late in the day, classes were hellish, and the last thing you need is to
come home and hear this on your answering machine:

"Hey man, it's Keith. The pigs finally got me, and if they ever manage to find
my address book, they'll probably be coming for you too. I can't tell you where
I've hidden it, for obvious reasons, but if I were you I'd try to find it first,
along with any other questionable items you may have "lost." By the way, I
wouldn't hang around your room too much - that's the first place they look for
you... Damn! Time's up, I gotta go... good luck!"

BUSTED
Psychedelic Interactive Fiction (not to be taken internally)
Copyright (c) 1994 Scumbag Software, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Release 4 / Serial number 941223 / Inform v1402 Library 5/7

Dorm Room
You are in your dorm room, in Linnell House. It is bigger than a breadbox, but
not by much. The door is to the north.

There is a standard-issue dorm table here, on which are a wallet (which is
closed), a hastily scrawled note and an ash tray.

>
Hot key -- Playback on

Continue input...

I beg your pardon?

>Start of a transcript of
BUSTED
Psychedelic Interactive Fiction (not to be taken internally)
Copyright (c) 1994 Scumbag Software, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Release 4 / Serial number 941223 / Inform v1402 Library 5/7
Interpreter 4 Version F / Library serial number 941214

>restart
Are you sure you want to restart? y


It's late in the day, classes were hellish, and the last thing you need is to
come home and hear this on your answering machine:

"Hey man, it's Keith. The pigs finally got me, and if they ever manage to find
my address book, they'll probably be coming for you too. I can't tell you where
I've hidden it, for obvious reasons, but if I were you I'd try to find it first,
along with any other questionable items you may have "lost." By the way, I
wouldn't hang around your room too much - that's the first place they look for
you... Damn! Time's up, I gotta go... good luck!"

BUSTED
Psychedelic Interactive Fiction (not to be taken internally)
Copyright (c) 1994 Scumbag Software, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Release 4 / Serial number 941223 / Inform v1402 Library 5/7

Dorm Room
You are in your dorm room, in Linnell House. It is bigger than a breadbox, but
not by much. The door is to the north.

There is a standard-issue dorm table here, on which are a wallet (which is
closed), a hastily scrawled note and an ash tray.

>
Hot key -- Playback on
Do you want MORE prompts? (y/n) >n

Continue input...
search ashtray
You poke around in the refuse and unearth a roach that you had forgotten about!
(Not surprising, given what you were doing when you created it.)

You're feeling pretty hungry.

>open wallet
You open the wallet, revealing thirty dollars cash and an ID card.

>take roach,cash,id
roach: Taken.
thirty dollars cash: Taken.
ID card: Taken.

>n
You grab an elevator and head outside...

Outside Linnell House
The diligently landscaped area outside of your dorm contains a few anorexic
shrubs and some wild crabgrass. To the south is the red brick hell you call
home. A muddy path leads north.

Suddenly your girlfriend Sydnee comes barging up to you.

"You bastard!" she screams, "I'm through with you and your flakiness!"

Before you can ameliorate her, she flings the teddy bear you gave her for your
two-week anniversary at you and says, "You can keep your stupid bear, asshole!"

She leaves in a huff.

>n
Suddenly, a figure in a long trench coat stumbles out of a nearby bush. He trips
on a tree root and grabs you for support, in the process accidentally jabbing
you with a hypodermic!

"Oops. Sorry, pal!" Before you can react, he giggles and dashes off!

Outside Dining Commons
You're on a path outside of the white stone building (to the west) which serves
as the dining commons for this area. You are not surprised to notice a large
"biohazard" sign on the building. The squat structure of your dorm is visible
off to the south, and the path leads east as well.

>w

Dining Commons Entrance
It smells like a rubbish tip in here - and only a bit less appetizing. The
grubby linoleum leads south to the main atrium and back out to the east.

A Dining Commons line lady sits here on her stool, chewing gum and making
occasional rude sucking noises with it.

>show lady id
The DC lady runs it through the little machine that tells her whether or not
you've been blacklisted. It obviously gives her good news because she nods
towards the south and mutters, "Go ahead, brat."

[Your score has just gone up by five points.]

>s

Dining Commons Atrium
If bricks could speak, it's likely that the ones in this room would say "hey,
don't throw that chipped beef at me." You spy the non-smoking section of the DC
off to the southwest, and the smog enshrouded smoking section to the southeast.

A line of students snakes its way up to a window where one may obtain what the
DC, despite all logic, calls "food."

>wait in line
After an interminable wait, you collect a tray full of unexciting food.

>se

Smoking Section
It smells like an airport lounge, only worse. However, given the caliber of the
cooking in this place, it could be a lot worse. You can bring your dirty plates
to the dish room to the southwest, or head back out, to the northwest.

>light roach
(with the cigarette lighter)
The roach catches. Smells nice!

You're beginning to feel a little bit drugged.

>smoke roach
Ah! That's great, really good. Just enough to give you a nice buzz, too. And it
goes down so smooth...

You notice that you're starting to develop a case of the munchies.

>eat food
In your state of extreme munchiness, you manage to ignore the fact that this is
possibly the most repulsive substance ever to go under the label of "food" in
the history of the world. Well, maybe not that bad, but certainly not good... As
it slides down your throat, you imagine you hear whimpering.

[Your score has just gone up by five points.]

>light joint
(with the cigarette lighter)
The end of the joint starts to burn. The sweet smell of dope wafts into your
twitching nostrils. You salivate madly - Pavlov would be well pleased.

>drop lighter,tray
cigarette lighter: Dropped.
food tray: Dropped.

>sw

Dish Room
This is where luckless students do the dishes for thousands of their hungry
peers, three times a day. Correspondingly, an air of intense gloom and broken
spirits pervades the region. You can effect your return to the DC proper by
going northeast or northwest. The kitchen is to the west, but a sign over the
door cautions "Authorized Personnel Only"

Your friend Milton, now a DC employee, is standing around looking hung over.

>give milton joint
A huge grin spreads over Milton's face. "Righteous!" he exclaims. Suddenly, he
appears worried, and with a sharpness of mind you initially thought him
completely incapable of, he blurts out: "Can't smoke this out here. I've got it!
Let's go into the kitchen, nobody will notice there... One problem - you're not
dressed properly. Wait here."

Milton sneaks off, then quickly returns with an apron and visor, which he hands
to you. You put on the uniform and follow him into the kitchen... Milton wanders
off to get wasted and leaves you to your own devices.

Kitchen
They cook here, but only a far more generous soul would call it food. The smell
is almost overwhelming. A small closet is north, and you can go back to the dish
room east.

Your friend Milton, now a DC employee, is standing around looking stoned out of
his mind.

Someone has left a bottle of cooking oil out on a counter.

>take oil
Taken.

>n

Closet
You are standing in a rather cramped closet filled with enough sugared cereal to
rot holes in every tooth on the entire campus - and that's a lot of teeth. A
sturdy metal ladder leads up, and the kitchen is south.

A ladder runs from the floor through a skylight in the ceiling.

You can also see a box of cereal here.

>open cereal
You open the box of cereal.

>pour cereal
(first taking the box of cereal)
You rattle out a whole mess of Satan Crunchies all over you and the ground. You
also dislodge the free prize, which turns out to be a pentacle on a silver
chain!

>take pentacle
Taken.

>drop visor,apron,cereal
official dining commons visor: (First taking the official dining commons visor
off)
You take off the official dining commons visor.
Dropped.
official dining commons apron: (First taking the official dining commons apron
off)
You take off the official dining commons apron.
Dropped.
box of cereal: Dropped.

>u

Roof
Up on a slate roof with an unspectacular view of the campus, which, from this
vantage point, rather resembles a sty, what with the muddy paths, wooden fences,
and all. It's actually not in such bad shape right now, given that most of the
little oinkers are home on holiday. The top of a ladder leads down back into the
closet.

A cute little glass bong is here.

>take bong
Taken.

>d

Closet

A ladder runs from the floor through a skylight in the ceiling.

You can also see a box of cereal, an official dining commons apron and an
official dining commons visor here.

>s

Kitchen

Your friend Milton, now a DC employee, is standing around looking stoned out of
his mind.

>e

Dish Room

>ne

Smoking Section

You can see a food tray and a cigarette lighter here.

>nw

Dining Commons Atrium

A line of students snakes its way up to a window where one may obtain what the
DC, despite all logic, calls "food."

>n

Dining Commons Entrance

A Dining Commons line lady sits here on her stool, chewing gum and making
occasional rude sucking noises with it.

>e
You skulk out of the dining commons...

Outside Dining Commons

>e

Path
You're plodding noisily along a muddy east-west path. Offensive squelching
noises accompany each footstep. Some grey and scraggly trees punctuate the sides
in a half-hearted attempt to make this industrial nightmare look slightly more
natural.

>e

Outside Campus Center
The campus center is a bizarre building, looking somewhat like a giant Belgian
waffle perched precariously on large concrete pillars. Going east will take you
inside this complex, and the path remains to the west.

>e

Campus Center Concourse
A long stretch of flagstone paved floor leads off to the east. A sign indicates
the music and reading room to the south. The door through which you entered is
west.

>s

Music Room
Although this place is usually full of bookish types in full-on study mode, the
room is strangely deserted right now. The large (soundproof) glass doors are
north.

You can see a Sony walkman (which is closed) here.

>open walkman
Opening the walkman reveals a Kate Bush tape.

>take tape
Taken.

>drop tape
Dropped.

>take walkman
Taken.

>n

Campus Center Concourse

>e

Campus Center Concourse
A long stretch of flagstone paved floor runs both east and west. There are
usually many tables filled with ideological zealots hawking a new religion or
ski club or CIA recruitment plan, but right now there is one lone Jesus Freak
table, and it's to the north. Off to the south is the information desk and lost
and found area.

>n

Jesus Loves You
You are at a large table dotted with colourful pamphlets and covered by a felt
sign that sums up the belief system of this particular cult with admirable
brevity: "Jesus is Lord". The concourse passes by to the south.

A pimply, straggly haired Jesus Freak, his face beaming with the inane smile of
the truly stupid mans the table, passing out pamphlets and shouting "Jesus loves
you!" at unsuspecting passers-by.

The Jesus Freak bursts into a quick psalm.

>ask freak about tape
The zealot looks excited - you are the first person in days to talk to him. "Ah
yes, that there's a tape of the demonaic Barry Manilow, whose songs are
scientifically proven to cause cancer, herpes, gangrene, and halitosis in all
rational creatures. Would you like to take a closer look at it?" As he hands it
to you, you realize that you may have more in common with the zealot than you'd
like to admit. He begins to preach loudly and monotonously about the evils of
rock and roll.

The Jesus Freak bursts into a quick psalm.

>show freak pentacle
The zealot's eyes light on the devil's insignia and begin to glaze over. He
starts to froth at the mouth and scream incoherent nonsense (although the
difference is not immediately apparent). Making the sign of the cross, he backs
away from you and runs off to parts unknown.

[Your score has just gone up by five points.]

>drop pentacle,bush
You can't see any such thing.

>put manilow in walkman
You put the Barry Manilow tape into the Sony walkman.

>play walkman
(first closing the Sony walkman)
Music dribbles tinnily out of the headphones.

>wear walkman
You put on the Sony walkman.

>s

Campus Center Concourse

>s

Information Desk
A giant map of campus, a marble desk, and a lost and found box: these are the
joys of the information desk. The equal thrill of the concourse can be found to
the north.

A young woman, presumably the information desk receptionist, lies slumped over
the cool marble, apparently asleep.

You can also see a lost and found box (which is closed) here.

>open box
You open the lost and found box, revealing an umbrella and a pair of gloves.

>wear gloves
(first taking the pair of gloves)
You put on the pair of gloves.

>take umbrella
Taken.

>open umbrella
You open the umbrella.

>n

Campus Center Concourse

>e

Campus Center Concourse
You're at a T-intersection. The concourse runs east-west, with a branch to the
north. The grey flagstone is as uninspiring here as it is everywhere else.

There is an expensive pair of Vuarnet sunglasses here.

>wear sunglasses
(first taking the pair of sunglasses)
You're carrying too many things already.

>e

Campus Center Concourse
This is the eastern end of the concourse. From the north comes futuristic sounds
and many flashing lights. A door to the east leads outside.

>e

Outside Campus Center
You are standing on a path east of the campus center. From the north you hear
the quacks of ducks at the campus pond.

A large grate in the ground belches an unpleasant-smelling cloud of steam into
the air.

A small alien spaceship suddenly materializes out of thin air. Five greenish
blobs with antennae ooze down an exit ramp and drop a shiny bottle at your feet.
After a quick burst of alien gibberish, they roll excitedly back into the ship,
which just as suddenly vanishes.

>pour oil on grate
The oil soaks into the rust on the grating.

>open grate
With much puffing and exertion, you manage to ease up one end of the grate.

>d

Storm Drain
You've clambered down a ladder to a rather slimy ledge, and are now up to your
ankles in brackish water. The water swirls around and through the drain to the
southwest.

Lying in a small alcove is a metal tool chest.

>
I beg your pardon?

>scrip
That's not a verb I recognise.

>script
Start of a transcript of
BUSTED
Psychedelic Interactive Fiction (not to be taken internally)
Copyright (c) 1994 Scumbag Software, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Release 4 / Serial number 941223 / Inform v1402 Library 5/7
Interpreter 4 Version F / Library serial number 941214

>script off

End of transcript.
Start of a transcript of
BUSTED
Psychedelic Interactive Fiction (not to be taken internally)
Copyright (c) 1994 Scumbag Software, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Release 4 / Serial number 941223 / Inform v1402 Library 5/7
Interpreter 4 Version F / Library serial number 941214

>
Hot key -- New game
Do you wish to restart? (y/n) >y


It's late in the day, classes were hellish, and the last thing you need is to
come home and hear this on your answering machine:

"Hey man, it's Keith. The pigs finally got me, and if they ever manage to find
my address book, they'll probably be coming for you too. I can't tell you where
I've hidden it, for obvious reasons, but if I were you I'd try to find it first,
along with any other questionable items you may have "lost." By the way, I
wouldn't hang around your room too much - that's the first place they look for
you... Damn! Time's up, I gotta go... good luck!"

BUSTED
Psychedelic Interactive Fiction (not to be taken internally)
Copyright (c) 1994 Scumbag Software, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Release 4 / Serial number 941223 / Inform v1402 Library 5/7

Dorm Room
You are in your dorm room, in Linnell House. It is bigger than a breadbox, but
not by much. The door is to the north.

There is a standard-issue dorm table here, on which are a wallet (which is
closed), a hastily scrawled note and an ash tray.

>
Hot key -- Playback on
Do you want MORE prompts? (y/n) >n

Continue input...
search ashtray
You poke around in the refuse and unearth a roach that you had forgotten about!
(Not surprising, given what you were doing when you created it.)

You're feeling pretty hungry.

>open wallet
You open the wallet, revealing thirty dollars cash and an ID card.

>take roach,cash,id
roach: Taken.
thirty dollars cash: Taken.
ID card: Taken.

>n
You grab an elevator and head outside...

Outside Linnell House
The diligently landscaped area outside of your dorm contains a few anorexic
shrubs and some wild crabgrass. To the south is the red brick hell you call
home. A muddy path leads north.

Suddenly your girlfriend Sydnee comes barging up to you.

"You bastard!" she screams, "I'm through with you and your flakiness!"

Before you can ameliorate her, she flings the teddy bear you gave her for your
two-week anniversary at you and says, "You can keep your stupid bear, asshole!"

She leaves in a huff.

>n
Suddenly, a figure in a long trench coat stumbles out of a nearby bush. He trips
on a tree root and grabs you for support, in the process accidentally jabbing
you with a hypodermic!

"Oops. Sorry, pal!" Before you can react, he giggles and dashes off!

Outside Dining Commons
You're on a path outside of the white stone building (to the west) which serves
as the dining commons for this area. You are not surprised to notice a large
"biohazard" sign on the building. The squat structure of your dorm is visible
off to the south, and the path leads east as well.

>w

Dining Commons Entrance
It smells like a rubbish tip in here - and only a bit less appetizing. The
grubby linoleum leads south to the main atrium and back out to the east.

A Dining Commons line lady sits here on her stool, chewing gum and making
occasional rude sucking noises with it.

>show lady id
The DC lady runs it through the little machine that tells her whether or not
you've been blacklisted. It obviously gives her good news because she nods
towards the south and mutters, "Go ahead, brat."

[Your score has just gone up by five points.]

>s

Dining Commons Atrium
If bricks could speak, it's likely that the ones in this room would say "hey,
don't throw that chipped beef at me." You spy the non-smoking section of the DC
off to the southwest, and the smog enshrouded smoking section to the southeast.

A line of students snakes its way up to a window where one may obtain what the
DC, despite all logic, calls "food."

>wait in line
After an interminable wait, you collect a tray full of unexciting food.

>se

Smoking Section
It smells like an airport lounge, only worse. However, given the caliber of the
cooking in this place, it could be a lot worse. You can bring your dirty plates
to the dish room to the southwest, or head back out, to the northwest.

>light roach
(with the cigarette lighter)
The roach catches. Smells nice!

You're beginning to feel a little bit drugged.

>smoke roach
Ah! That's great, really good. Just enough to give you a nice buzz, too. And it
goes down so smooth...

You notice that you're starting to develop a case of the munchies.

>eat food
In your state of extreme munchiness, you manage to ignore the fact that this is
possibly the most repulsive substance ever to go under the label of "food" in
the history of the world. Well, maybe not that bad, but certainly not good... As
it slides down your throat, you imagine you hear whimpering.

[Your score has just gone up by five points.]

>light joint
(with the cigarette lighter)
The end of the joint starts to burn. The sweet smell of dope wafts into your
twitching nostrils. You salivate madly - Pavlov would be well pleased.

>drop lighter,tray
cigarette lighter: Dropped.
food tray: Dropped.

>sw

Dish Room
This is where luckless students do the dishes for thousands of their hungry
peers, three times a day. Correspondingly, an air of intense gloom and broken
spirits pervades the region. You can effect your return to the DC proper by
going northeast or northwest. The kitchen is to the west, but a sign over the
door cautions "Authorized Personnel Only"

Your friend Milton, now a DC employee, is standing around looking hung over.

>give milton joint
A huge grin spreads over Milton's face. "Righteous!" he exclaims. Suddenly, he
appears worried, and with a sharpness of mind you initially thought him
completely incapable of, he blurts out: "Can't smoke this out here. I've got it!
Let's go into the kitchen, nobody will notice there... One problem - you're not
dressed properly. Wait here."

Milton sneaks off, then quickly returns with an apron and visor, which he hands
to you. You put on the uniform and follow him into the kitchen... Milton wanders
off to get wasted and leaves you to your own devices.

Kitchen
They cook here, but only a far more generous soul would call it food. The smell
is almost overwhelming. A small closet is north, and you can go back to the dish
room east.

Your friend Milton, now a DC employee, is standing around looking stoned out of
his mind.

Someone has left a bottle of cooking oil out on a counter.

>take oil
Taken.

>n

Closet
You are standing in a rather cramped closet filled with enough sugared cereal to
rot holes in every tooth on the entire campus - and that's a lot of teeth. A
sturdy metal ladder leads up, and the kitchen is south.

A ladder runs from the floor through a skylight in the ceiling.

You can also see a box of cereal here.

>open cereal
You open the box of cereal.

>pour cereal
(first taking the box of cereal)
You rattle out a whole mess of Satan Crunchies all over you and the ground. You
also dislodge the free prize, which turns out to be a pentacle on a silver
chain!

>take pentacle
Taken.

>drop visor,apron,cereal
official dining commons visor: (First taking the official dining commons visor
off)
You take off the official dining commons visor.
Dropped.
official dining commons apron: (First taking the official dining commons apron
off)
You take off the official dining commons apron.
Dropped.
box of cereal: Dropped.

>u

Roof
Up on a slate roof with an unspectacular view of the campus, which, from this
vantage point, rather resembles a sty, what with the muddy paths, wooden fences,
and all. It's actually not in such bad shape right now, given that most of the
little oinkers are home on holiday. The top of a ladder leads down back into the
closet.

A cute little glass bong is here.

>take bong
Taken.

>d

Closet

A ladder runs from the floor through a skylight in the ceiling.

You can also see a box of cereal, an official dining commons apron and an
official dining commons visor here.

>s

Kitchen

Your friend Milton, now a DC employee, is standing around looking stoned out of
his mind.

>e

Dish Room

>ne

Smoking Section

You can see a food tray and a cigarette lighter here.

>nw

Dining Commons Atrium

A line of students snakes its way up to a window where one may obtain what the
DC, despite all logic, calls "food."

>n

Dining Commons Entrance

A Dining Commons line lady sits here on her stool, chewing gum and making
occasional rude sucking noises with it.

>e
You skulk out of the dining commons...

Outside Dining Commons

>e

Path
You're plodding noisily along a muddy east-west path. Offensive squelching
noises accompany each footstep. Some grey and scraggly trees punctuate the sides
in a half-hearted attempt to make this industrial nightmare look slightly more
natural.

>e

Outside Campus Center
The campus center is a bizarre building, looking somewhat like a giant Belgian
waffle perched precariously on large concrete pillars. Going east will take you
inside this complex, and the path remains to the west.

>e

Campus Center Concourse
A long stretch of flagstone paved floor leads off to the east. A sign indicates
the music and reading room to the south. The door through which you entered is
west.

>s

Music Room
Although this place is usually full of bookish types in full-on study mode, the
room is strangely deserted right now. The large (soundproof) glass doors are
north.

You can see a Sony walkman (which is closed) here.

>open walkman
Opening the walkman reveals a Kate Bush tape.

>take tape
Taken.

>drop tape
Dropped.

>take walkman
Taken.

>n

Campus Center Concourse

>e

Campus Center Concourse
A long stretch of flagstone paved floor runs both east and west. There are
usually many tables filled with ideological zealots hawking a new religion or
ski club or CIA recruitment plan, but right now there is one lone Jesus Freak
table, and it's to the north. Off to the south is the information desk and lost
and found area.

>n

Jesus Loves You
You are at a large table dotted with colourful pamphlets and covered by a felt
sign that sums up the belief system of this particular cult with admirable
brevity: "Jesus is Lord". The concourse passes by to the south.

A pimply, straggly haired Jesus Freak, his face beaming with the inane smile of
the truly stupid mans the table, passing out pamphlets and shouting "Jesus loves
you!" at unsuspecting passers-by.

The Jesus Freak bursts into a quick psalm.

>ask freak about tape
The zealot looks excited - you are the first person in days to talk to him. "Ah
yes, that there's a tape of the demonaic Barry Manilow, whose songs are
scientifically proven to cause cancer, herpes, gangrene, and halitosis in all
rational creatures. Would you like to take a closer look at it?" As he hands it
to you, you realize that you may have more in common with the zealot than you'd
like to admit. He begins to preach loudly and monotonously about the evils of
rock and roll.

The Jesus Freak flips through his pocket Bible and looks up a particularly
heartwarming (to him) passage.

>show freak pentacle
The zealot's eyes light on the devil's insignia and begin to glaze over. He
starts to froth at the mouth and scream incoherent nonsense (although the
difference is not immediately apparent). Making the sign of the cross, he backs
away from you and runs off to parts unknown.

[Your score has just gone up by five points.]

>drop pentacle
Dropped.

>put tape in walkman
You put the Barry Manilow tape into the Sony walkman.

>play walkman
(first closing the Sony walkman)
Music dribbles tinnily out of the headphones.

>wear walkman
You put on the Sony walkman.

>s

Campus Center Concourse

>s

Information Desk
A giant map of campus, a marble desk, and a lost and found box: these are the
joys of the information desk. The equal thrill of the concourse can be found to
the north.

A young woman, presumably the information desk receptionist, lies slumped over
the cool marble, apparently asleep.

You can also see a lost and found box (which is closed) here.

>open box
You open the lost and found box, revealing an umbrella and a pair of gloves.

>wear gloves
(first taking the pair of gloves)
You put on the pair of gloves.

>take umbrella
Taken.

>open umbrella
You open the umbrella.

>n

Campus Center Concourse

>e

Campus Center Concourse
You're at a T-intersection. The concourse runs east-west, with a branch to the
north. The grey flagstone is as uninspiring here as it is everywhere else.

There is an expensive pair of Vuarnet sunglasses here.

>wear sunglasses
(first taking the pair of sunglasses)
You put on the pair of sunglasses.

>e

Campus Center Concourse
This is the eastern end of the concourse. From the north comes futuristic sounds
and many flashing lights. A door to the east leads outside.

A small alien spaceship suddenly materializes out of thin air. Five greenish
blobs with antennae ooze down an exit ramp and drop a shiny bottle at your feet.
After a quick burst of alien gibberish, they roll excitedly back into the ship,
which just as suddenly vanishes.

>e

Outside Campus Center
You are standing on a path east of the campus center. From the north you hear
the quacks of ducks at the campus pond.

A large grate in the ground belches an unpleasant-smelling cloud of steam into
the air.

>pour oil on grate
The oil soaks into the rust on the grating.

>open grate
With much puffing and exertion, you manage to ease up one end of the grate.

>d

Storm Drain
You've clambered down a ladder to a rather slimy ledge, and are now up to your
ankles in brackish water. The water swirls around and through the drain to the
southwest.

Lying in a small alcove is a metal tool chest.

You hear the murmurings of workmen somewhere in the drain.

>open chest
You open the tool chest, revealing a pair of pliers.

>take pliers
Taken.

>u
You clamber up the ladder and emerge from the hole to the curious stares of
passers-by.

Outside Campus Center

A large grate has been moved aside, allowing access to the storm drain below.

>n

Campus Pond
This is the pond, crossroads of the campus. Famed for its man-made beauty and
the indigenous strain of ducks which is unbelievably resistant to ordinary
pollutants. They also manage to subsist almost entirely on a diet of stale bread
and popcorn, a mystery which has fascinated many of the country's eminent
zoologists. To the north is the much-reviled Whitmore Administration Building.
The country's tallest public library can be found to the east. A busy street is
west of here, and the Campus Center is gleaming dully off to the south.

>e
A few bricks bounce harmlessly off your umbrella.

Outside Library
The library is a masterpiece of engineering. Standing twenty-six stories tall,
it is the tallest public library in the country. Unfortunately, due to a
spectacular oversight, the builders neglected to take into account the weight of
a million books, and the building is sinking into the ground slowly but surely.
Also, bricks keep falling off of it. The entrance is east, and the quacks of
ducks can be heard to the west.

>e

Library Entrance
The lobby here is made of cool marble. Signs point out the Card Catalog room to
the north and the exit to the west.

>n

Card Catalogue Room
Most of the typical card catalog files have been replaced by modern computer
equipment in an attempt to make life much more convenient for the students.
Someone neglected to tell the planners that index cards aren't subject to power
failures or disk crashes, however.

There is a small computer terminal here, hooked up to the library database.

>put id in slot
You put the ID card into the slot.

>type mo3xyan2l on terminal
The machine seems satisfied and prints "THOTH PREFACE" on the display. The book
comes tumbling out a hidden chute and lands in a heap on the floor.

>open book
You rifle the pages, noting the copyright page, table of contents, preface,
forward and so forth.

>tear preface
You rip the page out of the book. Upon closer inspection, you notice that it's
really a sheet of acid, with the preface printed on top.

>s

Library Entrance

>w

Outside Library

>w

Campus Pond

>n

Outside Whitmore
Imagine all the worst bureaucratic excesses you can, multiply by ten, and'll you
have a fair idea of the thievery and ineptitude that rules in the Whitmore
Administration Building, possibly the most loathed structure on the entire
campus. If you dare, you can enter to the north, or retreat to the pastoral
grace of the pond south.

>n

Whitmore Entrance
You're in the dungeon of doom. There aren't any skeletons chained to the walls,
but I suspect that's because the janitors just finished cleaning this area a few
minutes ago. Unsettling moans of pain and the sound of cash registers indicate
that the Bursar's office is west. You may wimp out to the south.

There is an enormous crowd of people here, all waiting in line to get to the
Bursar's office. If you wait in this line, I estimate that it will take 7 years
to get to the front.

There is a sign here.

>turn sign
You deftly snap the sign around so it's pointing in the opposite direction. The
reaction happens slowly but surely... The crowd notices that they've been
waiting in the wrong line! A few brave souls get in line in another room, and
soon there is a stampede for the other end of the hall!

[Your score has just gone up by ten points.]

>w

Bursar's Office
The castle treasury! Many students have found out the hard way that the
administration can take an infinite amount without giving away one penny. You
may effect your escape to the east.

A neanderthal bureaucrat (name tag: "Bob.") stands here waiting to make your
life more of a living hell than it already is.

As you enter, the gentleman behind the desk smiles and says, "Howdy, what can I
do for you?"

>bob, a2487493
Bob exhales and the scent of garlic nearly knocks you off your feet. "Here ya
go, pal. Have a nice day."

He hands you the form.

>e

Whitmore Entrance

There is a sign here.

>s

Outside Whitmore

>s

Campus Pond

>s

Outside Campus Center

A large grate has been moved aside, allowing access to the storm drain below.

>w

Campus Center Concourse

You can see a small bottle of greenish liquid here.

>w

Campus Center Concourse

>n

Elevator Lobby
Elevators usually arrive here, but, like everything, it's a bit of a crap shoot.
Only one is currently working, and it is sitting here with its doors open
waiting to take some unsuspecting dupe to the floor of their choice. The
concourse is south.

There is an elevator waiting here, its doors open.

>get in
(the elevator)

Hotel Elevator
You're in a small elevator which reeks of tobacco. Knife-carved graffiti adorns
the walls.

A small panel of buttons is located to the left of the door.

>press l
The doors slam shut, the elevator moves with a whoosh that simultaneously puts
your stomach in your brain and your teeth in your shoes. The door whips open
again, almost throwing you out.

>get out

Hotel Lobby
This is actually a very nice place to relax _ overstuffed sofas and tall picture
windows provide a comfortable environment in which to chill, read the paper, or
just blow off classes. The main desk is to the north.

There is an elevator waiting here, its doors open.

>n

Hotel Desk
Supposedly you can get a room here, but I've never heard of anyone actually
managing the trick. When you decide to give up, the lobby is south.

Standing behind the front desk is a perky looking hotel employee.

>give employee form
She looks at it and says, "OK. I guess I have no choice." She grabs the $30 from
you and glumly hands you the hotel room key.

[Your score has just gone up by five points.]

>s

Hotel Lobby

There is an elevator waiting here, its doors open.

>get in
(the elevator)

Hotel Elevator
You're in a small elevator which reeks of tobacco. Knife-carved graffiti adorns
the walls.

A small panel of buttons is located to the left of the door.

>press h
The doors slam shut, the elevator moves with a whoosh that simultaneously puts
your stomach in your brain and your teeth in your shoes. The door whips open
again, almost throwing you out.

>get out

Hotel Hallway
This little waiting area smells slightly of disinfectant and gives way to a hall
full of rooms, to the west.

There is an elevator waiting here, its doors open.

>w
You take a look at the key, stride purposefully towards the correct room, and
unlock the door...

Hotel Room
You are in your room at the hotel. You wonder briefly about the mental state of
the interior designer who thought up this color scheme, and hope to yourself
that he or she faced a slow and painful death, preferably involving thousands of
stinging insects. There is a door to the south.

You are beginning to feel sleepy.

>sleep
This is a nice safe place to recover your strength. After a few hours of some
really serious shuteye, you awake feeling much refreshed, although the
hallucinogenic chemical in your bloodstream is still nagging at the back of your
brain.

>s
You head back to the elevator lobby.

Hotel Hallway

There is an elevator waiting here, its doors open.

>get in
(the elevator)

Hotel Elevator
You're in a small elevator which reeks of tobacco. Knife-carved graffiti adorns
the walls.

A small panel of buttons is located to the left of the door.

>press c
The doors slam shut, the elevator moves with a whoosh that simultaneously puts
your stomach in your brain and your teeth in your shoes. The door whips open
again, almost throwing you out.

>get out

Elevator Lobby

There is an elevator waiting here, its doors open.

>s

Campus Center Concourse

>e

Campus Center Concourse

You can see a small bottle of greenish liquid here.

>n
With the sunglasses blocking out the visual portion, and the bland sounds of
Barry Manilow muting the sound effects, you are able to stand in the arcade
without freaking out due to overstimulation.

Arcade
Addicted youth stand around video and pinball machines, wiggling their bodies
lewdly, occasionally shouting incomprehensible phrases like "Go fer the hill!"
and "Lionman!" The concourse is back to the south, and light from the Student
Union filters in through a window in a steel door to the east.

One pinball machine catches your eye.

You can also see a steel locker set (which is closed) here.

>open locker
You open the steel locker set, revealing a Cheech 'n' Chong lunch box.

>open box
You open the Cheech 'n' Chong lunch box, revealing an ecstasy capsule and a vial
of liquid.

>take quarter with pliers
The pliers grab the quarter and it falls to the floor with a satisfying metallic
clink.

>drop pliers,umbrella,key,bottle
pair of pliers: Dropped.
umbrella: Dropped.
hotel room key: Dropped.
empty bottle: Dropped.

>take quarter,ecstasy,vial,box
quarter: Taken.
ecstasy capsule: Taken.
vial of liquid: Taken.
Cheech 'n' Chong lunch box: Taken.

[Your score has just gone up by four points.]

>put acid,bong in box
sheet of high-powered blotter acid: Done.
bong: Done.

>e
The steel door locks behind you.

Student Union
Lots of interesting things happen here: crowds rally and riot for their ideals,
heated intellectual debates are fought and won, ideas are sociably
interchanged... but mainly a lot of people stand around staring at the
television sets mounted in the walls. There is a small alcove to the east and a
set of scuffed stairs leads up and down.

>u

Staircase
This is a long and broad staircase which leads to the RSO offices. It, like most
staircases, leads up and down.

>u

RSO Corridor
The offices of many diverse student groups litter this corridor, in both the
literal and figurative senses. There is a staircase at the south end of the
hall. There are no lights on in any of the offices, except for one which is to
the north.

>n

Republican Club
This place displays what is really wrong with America today. You've got your
George Bush photos on the wall, PMRC literature scattered on a table, "Come Back
George - All Is Forgiven" bumper stickers and other offensive paraphernalia.

By the odious smell of elephant, you judge the fellow in the pinstripe suit to
be a Republican. His name tag says "HELLO MY NAME IS M. Greg Rothman (but my
friends call me "M")"

>give greg ecstasy
Rothman looks at the gelatin capsule. "Oh boy! Vitamins! Gotta keep up the
strength if we're to keep America american!" He pops the capsule and sighs
contentedly.

>wait
Time passes.

>wait
Time passes.

>wait
Time passes.

A happy grin breaks out on M. Greg's face. He starts to giggle uncontrollably
and fondle the desk. "Wow! Real Plywood!"

Greg giggles and fondles the desk.

>give greg bear
As soon as his now-overly-sensitized flesh comes into contact with the plush
teddy, an inane smile breaks out on Rothman's face. The effect is extremely
unsettling.

In a giggly blissed out voice, he tells you, "Oh, gosh, you're so nice!! Gee, I
don't know what I could possibly ever do to repay you for being such a nice
person. Oh here, why don't you take this scale?  I guess I don't really need to
mail out these propaganda booklets. Politics is such a bore. I'd much rather go
out and play with flowers!" (As he chatters on, you realize that you preferred
him when he was a grumpy, uptight Republican.)

You take the scale and leave Rothman to fondle the teddy bear.

Greg giggles and fondles the desk.

[Your score has just gone up by nineteen points.]

>put scale in box
You put the weighing scale into the Cheech 'n' Chong lunch box.

Greg giggles and fondles the desk.

>s

RSO Corridor

>s

Staircase

>d

Student Union

>e

Vend-O-Mat
This is nothing more than a small recessed area with a meager selection of
vending machines: newspaper and drinks only, really. You can return west to the
Student Union proper.

You can see a newspaper vending machine and a drinks vending machine here.

>put quarter in drinks
The machine swallows the quarter and makes a reassuring mechanical clicking
noise. Press one of the selection buttons now, I guess.

>press coffee
The drinks dispenser drops a cup into its chute and a concealed nozzle quickly
fills the cup with thin liquid.

>drink cup
It's fairly gross, but being a veteran of caffeine-fueled all night study
sessions helps you deal with it. You toss the cup in a nearby trash receptacle, 
and soon thereafter begin to feel a familiar caffeine buzz.

>w

Student Union

>d
A steel door at the bottom of the stairs swings shut behind you and locks with a
soft click.

Campus Center Concourse

You can see a small bottle of greenish liquid here.

>e

Outside Campus Center

A large grate has been moved aside, allowing access to the storm drain below.

>n

Campus Pond

>w

Pleasant Street
This is the main road through campus. The pond lies east, and a modern looking
building sits on the west side of the road. University Ave splits off here to
the north.

>w

University Health Services
You are standing outside the University Health Center which serves the Five
College area residents, students and non-students alike. You can enter to the
west, or head east, back out to Pleasant Street.

>w

Health Services Lobby
The lobby is a functional area (read: dead boring), featuring a glass case
filled with "Safe Sex" informational displays. Signs point out the convenient
pharmacy to the west, the comfortable waiting room to the north, and the
inviting exit to the east.

>n

Waiting Room
They've really got it all here - old magazines, hardwood chairs, boring safe sex
pamphlets, you name it. They've also got a sign pointing west to the skilled
Doctor's office, and the refreshingly oxygen-rich lobby to the south.

>wait
Good idea. That's what you do when you're in a waiting room, right? Very soon
after adopting your best slouching-in-the-chair-hoping-someone-will-notice-you
posture, a nurse comes scuttling over. She makes you fill in a few forms and
then announces, "Doctor Floyd will see you now."

>w

Doctor's Office
Doctor's offices always have an air of sickness about them, which is just
another bitter irony. Anyway, this is a fairly typical example of its species.
Dr Floyd's degree is on the wall, and you also spot a jar of tongue depressors,
some rubber gloves, lubricants, etc. You can get out to the east, if you run.

Dr. Floyd is here, wearing a long white coat and sitting behind his desk.

>doctor, examine me
The doctor performs a few perfunctory examinations, some of which are best left
undescribed. He eventually gets around to checking your heart rate and blood
pressure at which points he exclaims, "Yow, a highly elevated pulse! Tell ya
what, sport - get this prescription filled, and take two any time you feel
stressed out."

He quickly scribbles off a prescription and hands it to you.

Dr. Floyd is standing by the door, waiting for you to leave.

[Your score has just gone up by five points.]

>e
Doctor Floyd calls after you: "Hey, shut the door on your way out, OK sport?"

Waiting Room

>s

Health Services Lobby

>w

Pharmacy
The pharmacy area is predominantly populated by students waiting for diet pills,
birth control pills, or tranquilizers (which they will take when either of the
first two fail). A sign points out the beautifully manicured lobby to the east.

A white-smocked pharmacist stands behind the window, waiting to help you.

>give pharmacist prescription
The pharmacist looks at the slip, sighs a bored sigh and comes back with a small
paper packet which she hands to you.

>e

Health Services Lobby

>e

University Health Services

>e

Pleasant Street

>n

University Ave
This is a smaller thoroughfare that winds its away around campus. Unfortunately,
you're not going to be able to do a whole lot of winding with it because there
is a police roadblock set up to the north. You can return to Pleasant Street to
the south.

>eat valium
You pop the pills and soon begin to feel much more relaxed.

Your caffeine buzz is wearing off.

>n
The cops are making you sweat a little, but you are able to slouch by in a
sufficiently relaxed manner. One or two cops glance at you quickly,  but don't
see anything odd enough to rouse them out of their routine.

Outside Flansburgh Dorm
Flansburgh is in the more "modern" area of campus (which means that it was built
in the 1960s and looks ridiculously dated now). You notice entirely too much
brown mahogany trim, some more of that pathetic shubbery, and a door leading in
to the east.

>examine shrubbery
You notice a small mound of dirt under a shrub, with a toothpick stuck in it.
Knowing that this is a favorite trick of Keith's, you do a little experimental
digging and unearth the incriminating address book!

>take book
Taken.

>e

Flansburgh Lobby
The lobby is an airy and open space, dominated by a grand spiral staircase,
which leads up and down. You can see a continuous hustle of activity happening
above - cops are moving around and conversing at the top of the stairs.

From above, your hear the policeman discussing the latest "Lethal Weapon" film.

>d

Flansburgh Basement
This is a sooty, smelly basement. Damp patches of mildew shine on the wall,
reflecting the light of a naked, grime-coated, 60-watt bulb. A large trash
incinerator is visible at the north end of the basement, about 50 feet away.

>drink vial
It burns slightly on the way down. After a few moments of disorientation, you
begin to feel the effects of the strange chemical in your bloodstream lessening!
In fact, you're just about as close to normal as you'll ever be.

>n

Flansburgh Basement
This small corner of the basement is even grimier and smellier than the previous
bit. At least it is warm and dry, mainly due to the presence of a huge trash
incinerator.

>take bong,scale,acid
bong: Taken.
weighing scale: Taken.
sheet of high-powered blotter acid: Taken.

>put bong,scale,acid,book in incinerator
bong: You toss the bong into the furnace with a jaunty backhand, and it's gone
forever.
weighing scale: You toss the weighing scale into the furnace with a jaunty
backhand, and it's gone forever.
sheet of high-powered blotter acid: You toss the sheet of high-powered blotter
acid into the furnace with a jaunty backhand, and it's gone forever.
address book: You toss the address book into the furnace with a jaunty backhand,
and it's gone forever.

[Your score has just gone up by one hundred points.]

>s

Flansburgh Basement

>u
As you climb the stairs up to the lobby, a squad of policemen burst through the
front door. You attempt to dodge, but it's too late - they've seen you!

"Grab the little punk!" one of them says.

They eye you with the detached interest of a dog contemplating a bone.
"Tampering with evidence, I bet," the chief inspector says viciously.

You are manhandled into the back of a van, and whisked away to the station.

You are taken to a holding cell, where you remain for several hours. During this
time, the strange chemical in your body wears off. Not long after this, some
policemen enter the cell. One says, "I don't know how you did it, you little
rat, but we've got nothing on you, and we can't hold you any longer." He spits
out the words distastefully: "You're free to go."

After having your possessions returned, you step out into the clear air of
another crisp New England fall day to find Keith waiting for you in his beat-up
Ford. "Dude! Am I ever glad to see you! My lawyer got me probation, so I'm clear
for now."

You smile in relief.

Keith grins wickedly. "So, you wanna go smoke a fatty?"




    *** You have won ***


In that game you scored 158 out of a possible 154, in 161 turns.


 * * *


Breakdown of Score

 5  Gaining access to the Dining Commons
 5  Eating the food served in the Dining Commons
10  Gaining access to the Bursar's Office
 5  Obtaining a hotel room key
 5  Getting a tape away from the Jesus Freak
 4  Obtaining a Cheech and Chong lunch box
19  Getting a scale away from the Republican
 5  Obtaining a prescription for Valium
25  Destroying a sheet of high-powered blotter acid
25  Destroying a bong
25  Destroying a weighing scale
25  Destroying an address book